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Emergence from within


Zeeko
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Right, here we go. This here will be my journal covering my journey during this detox.

I am feeling a range of emotions, nothing different from what I have felt before (anxious, hopeful, frustration). But this time I feel a sense of encouragement that I have even gone this far to start the process. I already feel a withdrawal of sorts, but thats a good thing and shows me why I am doing this in the first place. Hopefully during this time I can:

- Better organise my time during the day

- Start learning how to cook to look after myself with celiac disease (I have thus far relied on my mother)

- Start learning spanish

- Get up earlier in the day (this has been a real problem for me)

- Start my gym program again and feel healthy again (not all this sitting down, its a killer!)

Its okay if these things don't come to pass from the start, or even down the track, but eventually they will all be fulfilled and its okay to stumble. I keep reminding myself that its more important to strive than to succeed xDxD

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Day 2 of detox - a semi failure.

Last night I went out with my friends for drinks for a friends 21st. I drank both cider and tequila shots, so you could guess I woke up today feeling less than optimal. The problem was that I needed to pass the time and I didnt feel like I had anything to do except watched tv. As I was watching tv I went "well youtube isnt any different from what I am doing now" and I brought up the website and watched people playing games so oops. My father came in my room and went "no more youtube eh" all sarcastically and I actually went off at him calling him unfair (I consider youtube as bad as games for me because its a time filler and I end up watch games being played on it). But he was right, I do realise now its that those moments, which are crucial to whether we will succeed or not.

Bright side though, I uninstalled all of my games. I had no idea the feeling of loss I would get when I permanently deleted my steam account. I look at my achievements and saw the "12 year veteran" achievement. 12 years, thats just crazy, i've been gaming for so long. So now I cant play games even if I want to. The biggest challenge for me now is filling up those empty moments with stuff to do. The problem is that while I do have plenty to do in terms of work, I have yet to fully develop my willpower to do, I tended to have a ritual where I would get my fill of youtube or games then feel "ready" to work while I was at home.

Getting over this ritual and finding other hobbies, thats the big challenge for me that I have identified.

So while today wasnt a great start, in a way it was a good learning experience. So heres to perseverance.

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Good work on deleting your games. I felt so scared when I did that to my games.

“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

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Good work on deleting your games. I felt so scared when I did that to my games.

“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Very true indeed, what particularly struck me was the amount of money going down the drain when I deleted everything. It really felt like you were putting something part of you away and you almost feel empty for a while. But its that very emptiness which gives you freedom to fill it with something else as you say.

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Hi Zeeko, it's good to read that you've started a journal! It's wise decision to delete all games and accounts, but remember to fill your time with new activities. I encourage you to get 12 years veteran achievement in real life! Where you will grow, develop your abilities and become a better person, with a life you are dreaming of.

Greetings, Piotr.

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Day 3 - Feelin the mental stretch

Woke up today feeling great after being with a friend of mine last night ;) today I havent watched any youtube videos or played thus far but as I am working, the temptation to watch youtube is always there. I haven't blocked the website as of yet because I use it for study music. Anyone got any ideas for alternatives?

I must say, the idea that I have not wasted any time with this stuff makes me feel more fulfilled and accomplished. I have started my university studies today, so it is imperative for me to find my next relaxation outlet that is more constructive. I have been using this journal as a way of focusing on something else when I feel a stronger temptation.

But all in all, made some good small progress - feeling hopeful!

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When do you find yourself watching YouTube videos? The best way to avoid that is to have other things going on. It's hard for me to watch YouTube videos when I'm surfing, for example.

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Hey guys, (Day 4 technically)

I have been awfully sick with Gastro Reflux this past week, but feeling better now and ready to continue my detox! On the bright side during this sickness period I have not played any games at all! I did watch alot of youtube videos to past the time which leads me to my response to your query Cam.

I use youtube as a time filler/procastination tool. So when I am bored and lack the energy to do something properly I use it. Also, I use it when I am studying and I feel my brain reaching its limit with an information overload I watch a video to sort of "deflate" it. So I need to find alternatives to these things but its hard to come up with anything at the moment though I will try!

Heres to continuing on!

 

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Howdy fellas, day 5 and counting :)

Im starting to feel the withdrawal. The sudden realisation that I no longer play games is dawning on me and its quite hefty! All these advertisements showing new games which I wanted to play and suddenly realising that I can no longer play them. I realised I had bought legion for world of warcraft and now that was a waste of money aha! Trying to find something to fill my time I have yet to do and its starting to become all the more important. I am doing law studies which takes alot but I need something relaxing to do as my down time and that used to be games. Maybe learning spanish could do it... Will try and give that a go tomorrow.

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It seems that you are not jsut for smth to do but for a (mentally) relaxing activity. Things that work for me are excercising, reading fiction and listening to Podcasts/audiobooks. Things people tried here with success range from juggling to drawing to going for short walks or surfing. Have you checked the 60 hobby's list allready? Personally I think for stud breaks and deflating your brain the best Thing is to do something mindless but physically active stuff.

My favorite Podcasts are the Timferris Podcast and freakonomics. May b worth checking out

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Hey guys day 6!

Due to recovery from my previous illness I havent able to to undertake strenuous physical activity. However, I have started to wake up 5am and do early walks in the morning. I tell you guys it is a great start to my day and gives me refreshing energy to start my day. The withdrawals are not as bad as long as I keep myself busy with law work. I will start figuring out mindless physical work I can do for my breaks today to help with my relaxation in between sessions. I will start out with walking around the lake and then try and get more creative, maybe draw or bring a book out to the lake after I walk around it for a little bit.

 

Thank you all for your helpful and encouraging replies, it really is making a difference for me and giving me the strength to keep going!

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Day 7 - Going pretty smoothly

Hey fellas, going pretty well at the moment - I have been consistently getting up earlier which continues to help significantly to setting my focus for the day. Yesterday was good, unfortunately I was exhausted from studies in the late afternoon and ended up watching a few youtube videos. I admit its not too bad in the grand scheme of things but I am noticing the feeling I get when I watch them and going to start reading some fiction books as an alternative - hopefully that goes well. I must say, the feeling of satisfaction I get when one of my mates tells me he spent the day/evening playing games while I did something more constructive (hopefully) is palpable. I am noticing development in my approach to learning which is becoming more thorough and indepth. I dont know if this is purely from giving up games but it is sure as hell a big contribution. It keeps me busy and helps me to avoid gaming news and updates which do bring some feelings of withdrawal. Starting tomorrow I will start looking into some more physical activities I can undertake that will further assist in my overall health and productivity.

Later this month I will be going to Mexico for a few days for a debating competition and have been preparing for that and feeling excited. So will keep going!

Thank you to everyone for the encouragement thus far as always and heres to keeping on the straight path!

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Howdy fellas, Days 7 & 8

Sorry for the delay in the update, law studies render me exhausted for the evenings and I barely get enough time for dinner and to relax. I am please to say that I have not played any games. More importantly however, I'd like to congratulate Cam for succeeding in this efforts to accumulate enough money for the water well! Glad I was able to contribute my small part! I will be going to Guadalajara for a competition on behalf of my university so its really been tough to prepare for while keeping on top of everything else.

I am on the verge of blocking youtube on my laptop and computer simply because its still a bit of an issue. Not that its ruining my detox, but the quality of the detox is reduced for me personally when I am simply watching guys playing games, even if I am tired. Thats the main limitiation at the moment. While I get up early and get a good amount of work done, I am usually so tired that trying to do something else that takes mental effort (no matter how small) as others here have noted is too much.

The ones who said I need a physical mindless activity are spot on and I think later arvo yoga would be perfect before I start hitting the gym.

Heres to keeping on!

P.S Again, congratulations to Cam!

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Hey guys day 9,

Things are going well and I have not played any games! But I have made the decision for myself to block youtube... because that is still taking up my  time and is a source of procrastination for me. So the real test is going to start now and I'll see how I go ...

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