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Rusaw
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Day 12 July 13, 2016

     Downloaded duolingo today and started learning some Russian right now I'm at rank 5 with the Russian language. After spending hours learning Russian I started watching some of Cam's YouTube videos. While watching I began to think of the things that I want to do with my life. One thing that I want to do is continue learning the Russian language and maybe do some traveling to Russia at some point in time as well as visit many other countries once I'm finished with college. Or maybe I'll study abroad during my last 2 years in college (which that does seem like fun I hope I'll have the chance to do that one day). The second thing I want to do is go and find a job (but I hope I can one day become a college history teacher that's the job I really want). I also want to go out and socialize more in real life which my social skills in real life is definitely something I need to improve on so for now my main goal is to socialize.   

Хорошо! Я буду ездить вместе в ты! :) Russian is a great language and the culture is also way more interesting than you'd think form all the news.

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Day 20 July 21, 2016

     Started reading The Slight Edge its a very good read. I also did some meditating which is very relaxing and helps me clear my mind allowing me to focus on what's important instead of getting side tracked with internet browsing. My group project is also going well all that's left to do with it now is make PowerPoint presentation. Also I'm getting very annoyed with this Pokémon Go craze I'm so glad I don't like mobile games never really been a fan of that stuff I preferred playing PlayStation or Xbox before I decided to quit. I have to say though I still miss gaming but I'm well aware of my inability to play in moderation I wish I could play in moderation but I can't I tried before a few years ago but failed and went straight back to playing for 16 hours straight. But I haven't played in 20 days now so I'm quite proud of myself for sticking to my goals and making this commitment to quit.  

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Day 21 July 22, 2016

     Okay I understand I didn't post this yesterday but that was because I working on my group project for science most of that day and well into the night with my lab partner. Once it was finished I decided to relax by reading more of The Slight Edge and got so caught up with what I was reading that I lost track of time and by the time I realized it was midnight I just decided to go to sleep.

Day 22 July 23, 2016

     I started off my day by reading The Slight Edge. Then I checked up on my grades for school before heading to Downtown Disney with my sister, her kids, and the rest of my family. While there my sister and brother were playing that Pokémon Go app that they both downloaded. Now we're all back home and I'm now listening to some relaxing music but I will do some more reading before I go to sleep tonight.

 

 

 

 

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Day 23 July 24, 2016

     Came very close to relapsing today luckily I caught myself and canceled the installation before it was finished. As for what triggered what would been a relapse if I didn't catch myself. Well this morning I woke up and got online only to notice that I got even more homework dumped on me for the summer. So feeling irritated I decide I'd watch some YouTube instead of doing the work. While watching I got an advertisement for a video game from one of my favorite game franchises and I couldn't skip it either. So after seeing the whole ad I jumped on my ps4 and attempted to reinstall the first installment of the game that was advertised to pass the time until the sequel is released or at least that was my original plan. Only one problem the game I was trying to reinstall from psn was going to take 10 hours to reinstall. So I had to find something to pass the time so I went ahead and did my school work only to come back 3 hours later and see its only at 5% installed. However, at the same time I realized my craving to play the game has ended so I took the opportunity to cancel it while it was still trying to install. matter of fact my ps4, xbox, and wii u are still plugged into my TV but I don't want to get rid of them just yet I'm hoping that after I finish my detox that I'll be able to play in moderation but right now I can't. Then again who knows maybe after my detox I may not want to play video games anymore but to give up video games completely just doesn't seem like me and I'm not even sure I want to give them up completely.    

 

 

Edited by Rusaw
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Hey, I still have my WiiU on my TV, but I haven't touched it to play in ages. I had this game on my wishlist for some months and It went on sale the other day. Not buying it felt like defeating a boss.

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Good job catching yourself in the moment. You want to see that you had a compulsion to play games to avoid what you needed to do - due to stress, overwhelm and so forth. 

So let's brainstorm. Next time you feel stressed or overwhelmed, what can you do instead other than going to games?

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Day 24 July 25, 2016

     Well today didn't really go so well and the main reason for that is because I didn't get any sleep at all last night due to my cousin who is staying with us for the summer playing his Nintendo ds all night as well as walking back and forth all night long. So yeah didn't get to go to sleep and my God he's 3x more addicted to video games than I ever was. Matter of fact he's extremely pissed at all of us in the house right now since we confiscated his Gameboy, his cell phones, and his game consoles. Now let me give you a quick rundown of what my cousin is like. First off, he's addicted to gaming to the point to where he play's 20 hours a day 7 days a week. He also neglect's his own personal hygiene and his responsibilities. He is now blaming me and the rest of my family for his games being confiscated. He also feels entitled to a job even though he has zero desire to work. However the sad thing about all this is he is 20 years old and still acts like a Goddamn child and I don't know what to do with somebody who clearly doesn't want help so what should I do? Now I tried introducing him to game quitters but that back fired since as mentioned above he clearly doesn't want help. He seems to become very aggressive if you even suggest he has a problem. Which he clearly does he just refuses to acknowledge it.   

 

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Good job catching yourself in the moment. You want to see that you had a compulsion to play games to avoid what you needed to do - due to stress, overwhelm and so forth. 

So let's brainstorm. Next time you feel stressed or overwhelmed, what can you do instead other than going to games?

Well I've already established that I could read, write, do homework (like I've been doing), go for a walk, learn a language, and go swimming. So the other things I could do are attend meetups, go out for a night on the town, go dancing, sing karaoke, learn to play an instrument, go out on a date, go hiking, go camping, see the sites. Gee there are a lot of things I could do I just got to do it instead of procrastinate.

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Day 24 July 25, 2016

     Well today didn't really go so well and the main reason for that is because I didn't get any sleep at all last night due to my cousin who is staying with us for the summer playing his Nintendo ds all night as well as walking back and forth all night long. So yeah didn't get to go to sleep and my God he's 3x more addicted to video games than I ever was. Matter of fact he's extremely pissed at all of us in the house right now since we confiscated his Gameboy, his cell phones, and his game consoles. Now let me give you a quick rundown of what my cousin is like. First off, he's addicted to gaming to the point to where he play's 20 hours a day 7 days a week. He also neglect's his own personal hygiene and his responsibilities. He is now blaming me and the rest of my family for his games being confiscated. He also feels entitled to a job even though he has zero desire to work. However the sad thing about all this is he is 20 years old and still acts like a Goddamn child and I don't know what to do with somebody who clearly doesn't want help so what should I do? Now I tried introducing him to game quitters but that back fired since as mentioned above he clearly doesn't want help. He seems to become very aggressive if you even suggest he has a problem. Which he clearly does he just refuses to acknowledge it.   

 

you just describe me to perfection 5 years ago.

 

When that heavily addicted, games are really likea drug. Take themaway and he will get anxiety spikes and desperately want them back.

You have to treat it like a drug - he's going to say and do anything to get it back.

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Day 25 July 26, 2016

     Today was a bit better considering what happened yesterday with my cousin. For instance I managed to get some sleep last night but that was because he was so pissed at me that he didn't even want to look at me but it was my room so he just walked into the closet and slept in there. Still sorta worried about him cause he's acting very strange but he did just have his games confiscated yesterday. Its a shame you have to do that to a 20 year old but he needs to grow up. But anyway I've been doing well with school and yesterday I talked with my therapist we talked about things going on in politics and even The Slight Edge book I'm reading and how I'm applying that philosophy to aspects of my own life.  

 

 

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Day 24 July 25, 2016

     Well today didn't really go so well and the main reason for that is because I didn't get any sleep at all last night due to my cousin who is staying with us for the summer playing his Nintendo ds all night as well as walking back and forth all night long. So yeah didn't get to go to sleep and my God he's 3x more addicted to video games than I ever was. Matter of fact he's extremely pissed at all of us in the house right now since we confiscated his Gameboy, his cell phones, and his game consoles. Now let me give you a quick rundown of what my cousin is like. First off, he's addicted to gaming to the point to where he play's 20 hours a day 7 days a week. He also neglect's his own personal hygiene and his responsibilities. He is now blaming me and the rest of my family for his games being confiscated. He also feels entitled to a job even though he has zero desire to work. However the sad thing about all this is he is 20 years old and still acts like a Goddamn child and I don't know what to do with somebody who clearly doesn't want help so what should I do? Now I tried introducing him to game quitters but that back fired since as mentioned above he clearly doesn't want help. He seems to become very aggressive if you even suggest he has a problem. Which he clearly does he just refuses to acknowledge it.   

It's a tough situation for sure. The best thing you can do is to be an example of what's possible and to maintain a positive rapport so he knows the door is always open to asking you for help if he wants it. However that does not mean you need to enable the behavior.

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Day 24 July 25, 2016

     Well today didn't really go so well and the main reason for that is because I didn't get any sleep at all last night due to my cousin who is staying with us for the summer playing his Nintendo ds all night as well as walking back and forth all night long. So yeah didn't get to go to sleep and my God he's 3x more addicted to video games than I ever was. Matter of fact he's extremely pissed at all of us in the house right now since we confiscated his Gameboy, his cell phones, and his game consoles. Now let me give you a quick rundown of what my cousin is like. First off, he's addicted to gaming to the point to where he play's 20 hours a day 7 days a week. He also neglect's his own personal hygiene and his responsibilities. He is now blaming me and the rest of my family for his games being confiscated. He also feels entitled to a job even though he has zero desire to work. However the sad thing about all this is he is 20 years old and still acts like a Goddamn child and I don't know what to do with somebody who clearly doesn't want help so what should I do? Now I tried introducing him to game quitters but that back fired since as mentioned above he clearly doesn't want help. He seems to become very aggressive if you even suggest he has a problem. Which he clearly does he just refuses to acknowledge it.   

 

you just describe me to perfection 5 years ago.

 

When that heavily addicted, games are really likea drug. Take themaway and he will get anxiety spikes and desperately want them back.

You have to treat it like a drug - he's going to say and do anything to get it back.

I know we are treating his problem like a drug we took all his electronics and sat him down to talk to him about it that same day he just ignored us and looked at us like we didn't know what we were talking about and instead accused us of bullying him. Granted I guess I can understand why he believes we are bullying him since we took his stuff away from him. But all we're really trying to do is help him he just doesn't see it that way.

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Day 26 July 27, 2016

     I had some difficulty with my lab partner for this weeks part of the group project. She doesn't seem to be doing her part of the assignment if she doesn't do her part I'll just submit my part of the assignment to my science teacher. However, I was able to finished my assignments for my music class this week. Now my cousin has calmed down a little bit he's still upset and totally bored out of his mind. So he's only been sleeping and eating for the last two days. He's also still pissed at his own mom as well since when she found out he wasted the money he saved up for college on Yu-Gi-Oh cards she called him to give him an ear full. He mentioned something about attending a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament somewhere in Orlando which is what he wanted to go to. He really needs to grow up because this is ridiculous but I can't exactly force him to change.    

 

Edited by Rusaw
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You can't change people but maybe you can give him other things to do which he might enjoy. Give him alternatives. Do smth. together. Go for a jog or make an excursion somewhere. If he is  really bored that much, you maybe have a chance to get through to him, if you do something enjoyable together. But of course I don't know, how your situation is in detail. One thing I know, is that it won't help to focus on his immaturity. To really help someone, if you want a personal relationship, you need to try to see the world out of his eyes and argue from his standpoint. Otherwise you waste your time.

Edited by WorkInProgress
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You can't change people but maybe you can give him other things to do which he might enjoy. Give him alternatives. Do smth. together. Go for a jog or make an excursion somewhere. If he is  really bored that much, you maybe have a chance to get through to him, if you do something enjoyable together. But of course I don't know, how your situation is in detail. One thing I know, is that it won't help to focus on his immaturity. To really help someone, if you want a personal relationship, you need to try to see the world out of his eyes and argue from his standpoint. Otherwise you waste your time.

Good point although I'm not sure what we can do together that he'd enjoy that doesn't include watching YouTube all day. I could invite him to go swimming, to the theme park, for a run, or to play paintball. But I'm not sure he'd want to do that at least not right now since he's still pretty pissed about getting his stuff taken from him. Maybe he'll want to go later that is if he can stop moping.  

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Day 27 July 28, 2016

     Today went very well I did more walking today than ever before once in the morning when I woke up then at noon and finally I went for another walk an hour ago. I did this to help me think of ways to help my cousin. I could of walked with him but I needed some time alone to think of something for us to do together. Now all that's left to do is ask him if he'd want to go somewhere to hang out. But I still have doubt's that he'd want to hang out since he believes its my fault for why he got his stuff confiscated. Now I sorta played a video game today although I don't really consider it a relapse since the only thing I did was show my nephew's how to play the game before handing them the controller and walking off.

 

 

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Day 28 July 29, 2016

     I had a slight craving to play a video game today and I'm pretty sure it was caused by me showing my nephew's how to play a game yesterday before leaving the room. However, this craving was different than the other cravings since my mind tried to trick me into believing that I could play in moderation now. However, I know I can't since this very thing happened before when I tried quitting the first time and the second time. Now the first time this happened I was convinced that I could play in moderation by myself so long a I set an alarm on my phone that was meant to go off every five minutes in the event that I ignored it the first time it went off. Which it did and I disabled the alarm after he went off a second time. The second time I got this idea in my head I asked my younger brother to set his alarm to go off after two hours and check on me to make sure I got off not only that but to unplug it and take it in his room so I wouldn't get any funny idea's. Which he did although, I picked the lock to his bedroom and stole it back once he was asleep then barricaded my bedroom door with my dresser before I began playing to prevent him from taking it back until morning. Luckily I was aware of what my mind was trying to do and instead meditated in order to clear my mind it worked and now I'm more focused on my goal's than ever before. This is also my third craving during my entire detox and I've managed to resist all of them so far.    

 

 

Edited by Rusaw
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Day 29 July 30, 2016

     I didn't really feel well this morning woke up with slight fever but managed to get over it. After getting over my fever I took long walk then came back to help my sister pack her stuff since she's heading back to Texas tomorrow morning. I also did some meditating and homework although the fever I had earlier this morning kinda drained me and I didn't want to really do anything productive today. But I did and managed to get half of next weeks school work finished so I guess I could relax and focus on other things at least for awhile.

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Day 30 July 31, 2016

     My lab partner quit on me so I had to do what was suppose to be her half of the research as well as my own and submit it. I also had to write 2,000 word essay explaining what I'm gonna talk about in the PowerPoint Presentation which is something that I had to do by myself as well managed to finish it all but man do I hate it when the people who are suppose to help me with the assignment quit. This is exactly why I hate working in groups when it comes to school work they always expect me to do it for them even more so now since I'm heavily focused on my education rather than gaming now days. Mainly because I'm determined to get my degree and make my dream job a reality.

 

 

 

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Day 1 after relapse

     I didn't really do much today except watch some funny video's on YouTube in order to take my mind off my depression. I've also been preparing for Fall classes I'll be taking three classes this Fall two of them are on campus while the third is fully online. Which is nice since during the summer I've been taking classes fully online. Plus in Fall I'll be able to socialize with my classmates in person rather than online or over the phone giving me the perfect opportunity to work on my social skills and make friends.  

 

 

 

 

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