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Michael's Journal


Michael

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Day 1 of this crazy adventure!

In my early years of life, i used to be a young vibrant child, with musical talent. I would buzz with energy everyday of the year, and always have a humorous remark to my families questions. Ever since i got into a habit of playing video games, these things faded. The first big game i got into was Counter Strike: Global Offensive. Oh, the things this game did to me. Towards the end of me playing this game, i had racked up a total of 1500 hours, and had spent hundreds of dollars on it's in-game gambling. The game hit my addictive tendencies smack bang on the spot, and had hooked me in for years. After CS:GO, i moved on to an even bigger hassle, League of Legends. This one was hard for me, as my main group of friends absolutely adore playing this game and talk about it at school every lunch break. The fact that this game has sooooo much to "complete" or "achieve" is ridiculous looking at it now. The old me would just play and play, even if i was clearly getting no enjoyment out of it. And the fact that my friends enjoyed it as much as i did encouraged it even more. I never really got any true enjoyment out of playing the game, and it would never have been worth the money i sank into it. When i  first tried giving up, i didn't fully commit, so soon enough i was back on. Since then I have tried countless different options for help, and as soon as i came across this one i knew it was perfect with my needs. Already i have gained more motivation and knowledge than any other source has provided. From now on i am going to try and record my progress/experiences with Game Quitters (and NoFap) everyday for the 90 days. For anyone who read this whole paragraph, thank you! It means a lot that someone is willing to read about me and my story. 

Sincerely, Michael W

 


A little more info on me for anyone interested. I am currently year 10 in High school, and live in Toowoomba, QLD, Australia. Not sure if anyone on this forum is also from Australia, if so i'd love to have a chat! For hobbies I enjoy drumming, painting, and hiking. All of these things i am trying to do more of throughout these 90 days.

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Day 2

I can't believe how many nice people there are on this forum!
Only my first post in Daily Journals and I've already gotten way more support than I would have ever expected. I am ever so grateful towards everyone who gives up their time to read these posts and leave a thoughtful, caring reply.   Thank you all!  :D

Today was one of the more fun days of the school break, as I was able to escape the house and get outside. My grandmother and grandad where so considerate to babysit me and my 2 brothers while my mother was visiting Melbourne. He had noticed our wood shed was lacking, and took me and the boys for a drive to cut some more.

Being away from home is (in my opinion) a great thing to do if you are dealing with any type of addiction. The change of scenery, and ability to socialize with elders in my family today was a great tool to escape the temptation of playing games, and to stop wasting free time through mindless browsing of the internet ( <---- I recommend watching Cam's video on this topic, has some very helpful tips!). For anyone who has the opportunity to take part in an activity, or do something different for a change, give it a crack! 
After watching Cam's video on energy and willpower yesterday, Grandad surprised me with how much he had in him. He didn't hesitate to rev up the chainsaw and get cutting straight away. That really inspired me to take up that sort of attitude in life and take things on head-first with all your might. At about 1pm we had decided to head home, and you could definitely tell that grandad was satisfied with his work! I can't wait to see the look on my parents face when they arrive home to a fully stocked woodshed :)

Towards the end of the day, i decided that it would be a good time to talk to my 12-year-old brother about addiction. I figured it would be good to have some brother time without Mum or Dad around to make things a little less awkward. My addiction has sadly caused my younger brothers to adapt the video gaming lifestyle as well, and from now on I am trying to set a good example and educate them a bit more on the issue so that it doesn't get as far out of hand as it did with me. I told him about the effects of the brain video game addiction had, and gave him more detail about things like dopamine and hormones. I think the talk went fairly well, and I hope that he can see some improvements in his life in the weeks to come.

Overall, some things to take away from today are
   - You should always take oppurtunities in life
   Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas A. Edison (Inventor of light bulb)
   - My influence on younger siblings was actually a lot stronger than i first thought it was 
   - Grandparents have an amazing amount of wisdom and inspiration to give. You should always respect them!

Thanks again for reading this entry! Hope everyone has had a wonderful day. :D

- Michael

 

P.S 
Any tips to convince my 8 year old brother to do something other than
sit on YouTube all day? 

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Day 3

Not much to write about today, I spent all of the day at home. Didn't go anywhere, just worked on some of my hobbies in my room. I managed to progress a fair bit in my drumming, piano, and guitar playing , which I'm sure will be a great thing to be able to do once I master them. I also worked a bit on my card dealing for the next poker night at my place, which I can't wait for! The temptation to play video games/sit on my laptop all day was there, but I managed to get through the day with neither. Looking back on my musical progression today, I know it was all because I spent my free time well. So far so good!

- Michael

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Day 3 & 4

I didn't think it would be necessary to post day 3 by itself, as I basically did the same sort of stuff I did on day 2.
However, I spent most of today preparing for the 3rd term of school which starts tomorrow! The hardest thing to deal with in the coming 10 weeks will be my gaming friends. At the moment I spend all my lunches with them, go to movies with them, so they are essentially my only friends. All we did during lunch is sit by ourselves and talk about video games, which  was kind of sad, to be honest. Last night I took them all to see a movie they thought would be garbage. In the end, they really enjoyed it, and after a bit it was just me and  one of my mates left waiting for his dad. He gave me the first questioning I had gotten about the detox. "Heard you're quittin league??" is how he brought it up, and I responded  with "Yeah, taking a break for a bit." He continued to ask me how long it would be, and I told him however long it takes. You could definitely see he was a little offended/defensive on the issue, but I think the chat went fairly well. So the biggest concern on my mind is how I am going deal with my gamer friends during this term, but I guess we will see how it goes! 

- Michael

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Hey Michael - Im also in Brisbane, QLD. I'm 25 though.

Youre doing this young - all I can say is yes, this is the perfect time to do it. If you can stick to it and can find good mentors you will be far ahead of everyone else.

When I was growing uo and throwing my life away on video games I'd constantly hear "it's okay, you're still young". That made.me think I was fine. Well you're young enough to make mistakes until the day your not.

For me that day was 22, thats when I started trying to change. Im assuming you're 15-16 so you have 7 years on me. Start now and by the time your my age you will be very far ahead.

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I know that problem with gaming friends. It's interesting that every of them reacted offended although it's me quitting games, not commenting their choice to game. It's hard to leave them but they will only bring you down. Stick to the ones who are willing to be better person. Cause this is how life goes, some people stay in our lives and some people pass through our life. 

Stay strong.

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Day 4

Thanks for the responses /  advice guys! I really appreciate it. :D

The first day of school went pretty well for me. Got to see who was in my classes, who my teachers were, and say hi to some of the new students at the school. 
I also got to scope out the situation with my old gamer friends. At the moment, they don't talk as much about video games as I expected, which is nice. However once they get into it, they really get into it, and they will continue to talk throughout the rest of the break.
Gonna try and find some new social groups to help me re-create my life, and to not encourage me to play video games, but to help me adapt new hobbies and mindsets.
Some big news that has influenced the past 5-6 months of my life is that my family will be moving 1564km away from home to Victoria (still in Australia) at the end of this year. With this in mind, i have tried to make these last few months my greatest, in all areas of my life. 
Also started up my old running habit again to try and get my fitness up (also a great stress reliever!)

- Michael

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Some big news that has influenced the past 5-6 months of my life is that my family will be moving 1564km away from home to Victoria (still in Australia) at the end of this year. With this in mind, i have tried to make these last few months my greatest, in all areas of my life. 

This is the right attitude to have. Throughout your life there will be change. It's best to embrace the impermanence of life and just do your best to make it as much fun and an adventure as possible.

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Day 5 & 6

School is going pretty well so far. My friends are great, so I'm not as concerned about that anymore. At the moment it seems to be dealing with a traumatic event that has haunted me and my ability to speak in front of a group of people (Schoolmates). About a year ago, when my gaming addiction had a fair grip on my decision-making, confidence, and many other things, I had decided to take up drama. Looking back at it now, it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. Basically, I made a fool of myself during an improv session, and the amount of emotion my brain went through left a decent scar. Most of the people in that class have probably forgotten by now, but whenever I have to speak in front of a group at school, my brain thinks it's going through the same thing again, and automatically becomes anxious/stressed. This usually causes me to screw up a fair bit, which only enforces the mindset. This has lead to me thinking about it more and more, therefore making the problem worse. Tomorrow will be my first test of self-improvement and positive change when we begin our presentations. My plan is to ditch the past, and focus on the present, and to be generally happy. Wish me luck!
 

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. " - Lao Tzu

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