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Torleif's Journal


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Day 41 (30/3/2016)

If I manage to complete the full detox I'll recommend one thing to new users: stick with your meditation. For me this has made the biggest positive impact, though explaining why is tricky. The best way to put it is that meditation lets you become more aware of the choices you make and why you make them, which leads to greater self-understanding. And self-understanding is key to fighting addiction.

Gratitude journal:

-meditation

-Model E

-ruler

-blinder hiding the sun

-music

-butter

-soap

-Elon Musk <-- rolemodel

-eraser

-not drinking energy drinks

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Day 41 (30/3/2016)

If I manage to complete the full detox I'll recommend one thing to new users: stick with your meditation. For me this has made the biggest positive impact, though explaining why is tricky. The best way to put it is that meditation lets you become more aware of the choices you make and why you make them, which leads to greater self-understanding. And self-understanding is key to fighting addiction.

+1 

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Day 44 (2/4/2016)

Gratitude journal:

-selling gitar

-my own watch

-clean car

-great dinner

-great mom

-chicken soup for the soul

-smiles from random people

-the opportunity to talk with great, warm people

-darkness

-morning sunshine

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Day 45 (3/4/2016)

Gratitude journal:

-cheese doodles

-gas

-born healthy

-two arms, two legs

-no cancer 

-piano songs on the internet

-joy of living 

-great dinner with a big G today

-clean water, best rated in Norway

-Dina, my dog and my best buddy

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Day 47 (5/4/2016)

Today I took the day off to ponder about my future. It is necessary to do this since my military service starts in less than two weeks - a big moment for me - and I want to make sure I have the right mindset going in. Here is some of my self-advice: a) be humble b) honesty is key c) self-respect d) keep writing gratitude journal (have to use a book) e) keep daily meditations going f) drink lots of water. Anyways, hope anybody who's reading this is having a great day!

 

Gratitude journal

-thankful for the fact that I am able to borrow my mothers car

-grateful that I have food on the table

-exstatic that my stocks have gone up

-a fun piano where I can learn songs on the web

-Khan Academy for providing me with world class education

-fresh air and birds chirping when taking walks

-the prospect of a good life and financial backing from my family

-the opportunity to take a nice shower every day

-having a kindle paper white that allows me to access tons and tons of knowledge

 

Quote of the day

"Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner anywhere" -Chinese proverb

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Day 41 (30/3/2016)

If I manage to complete the full detox I'll recommend one thing to new users: stick with your meditation. For me this has made the biggest positive impact, though explaining why is tricky. The best way to put it is that meditation lets you become more aware of the choices you make and why you make them, which leads to greater self-understanding. And self-understanding is key to fighting addiction.

Gratitude journal:

-meditation

-Model E

-ruler

-blinder hiding the sun

-music

-butter

-soap

-Elon Musk <-- rolemodel

-eraser

-not drinking energy drinks

Would love to try meditation and definitely think it would help me but have no idea how to begin. Any tips you can give me would be appreciated :)

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Day 41 (30/3/2016)

If I manage to complete the full detox I'll recommend one thing to new users: stick with your meditation. For me this has made the biggest positive impact, though explaining why is tricky. The best way to put it is that meditation lets you become more aware of the choices you make and why you make them, which leads to greater self-understanding. And self-understanding is key to fighting addiction.

Gratitude journal:

-meditation

-Model E

-ruler

-blinder hiding the sun

-music

-butter

-soap

-Elon Musk <-- rolemodel

-eraser

-not drinking energy drinks

Would love to try meditation and definitely think it would help me but have no idea how to begin. Any tips you can give me would be appreciated :)

Start with the Headspace App and the 10 mins/day 10 day challenge (free) that teaches you all about it.

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Day 48 (6/4/2016)

Gratitude journal:

-thankful for the fact that I can wake up every day without fear

-thankful for my trusty calculator

-happy that my sister and I have a good relationship

-glad that I will go to the military, where I can grow as a person

-blessed with being born in a first world country

-blessed with health, love and warmth

-grateful that have been able to see many different places in my short life

-also want to thank my country to for paying for my schooling and vaccines

-the cold, light rain in the evening that reminds that I'm not on Venus, where it rains acid

-a nice watch to let me keep track of time.

 

Quote of the day:

"The best way to predict the future is to create it" -Abraham Lincoln

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Day 49 (7/4/2016)

Gratitude journal:

-the smile that I got from a friend of mine today

-following my passion instead of going to school

-financial stability

-nice conversation with neighbor and mother

-chocolate <3

-exciting future

-electricity and tea

-having a comfortable bed to go to every night

-being able to get from A to B in a short amount of time

-atmosphere to let me breath, thank you Earth!

 

Quote of the day:

If you quit quitting, then quitting will become harder and harder for the the rest of your life. -Me

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Day 50 (8/4/2016) 

Gratitude journal:

-beautiful blue sky outside

-puffy clouds

-I am grateful for the dinner that I got today, both nutritious and healthy

-Grateful for being able to play a small part of "can you feel the love" by Elon John on Piano

-Thankful for having warm clothes and several pairs of shoes

-Blessed by the fact that I have soap (surprisingly important) and toothpaste

-Appreciative of my teachers that taught me how to read, write and do arithmetic

-Happy that I am alive and the fact that I am starting to enjoy every moment of my life

-Love to all people around the world 

 

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Day 51 (9/4/2016)

Today I finished planning my trip to the military. It was nice to get that burden of my shoulders, because it had really stressed me out lately. I also went on a long mountain trip with my dog, Dina, and I think she liked it as much as I did. Hopefully we can get another one next week (bad weather stay away!).

Gratitude journal:

-happy that I have enough money to by myself some decent running shoes 

-grateful for the beautiful weather I had today, and the lovely snow on the mountain peak

-warm inside as a result of the great dinner I had today

-thankful for a nice conversation with my sister 

-inspired from watching the movie into the wild yesterday

-blessed by the fact that I could buy a new book on my kindle

-amazing future life

-all the people that have died in the past for me to live a life in freedom and comfort

-online education bringing about the opportunity for people like me to realize and relish their dreams

-the chance that I will be able to help people in need if I continue working hard every day on myself and becoming a better person

 

 

 

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Day 52 (10/4/2016)

There are many demons/hungry ghosts in my life that I want to get rid off. The number one most pestering right now is me constantly checking for new news-stories on my two fav companies: SpaceX and Tesla. I have a great passion for both of them, and I own stock in Tesla, which also has had a bad effect on me, since it leads me to constantly check the stock price. Any advice on how to deal with this would be great.

Another demon is porn (NSFW ahead). I want to stop watching porn because there is no real reason to watch porn, and it's better to fuel that sexual energy into work. I'm planning on making a SMART - plan and some of the things I did for Respawn to stop this habit. I'm hoping that the constant activity in the military plus my preparedness will lead to positive results. Again, any advice would be great (I'm currently on my second week in "the science of willpower", which is teaching me lots of techniques to help with demon).

The third hungry ghost I have is listening to music as a form of stress-relief, not for entertainment. It is necessary to stop this since music is addictive, and I would rather just exercise or meditate to get out stress. My spider-senses tells me that it will be addressed in the military.

The final one is sugar. I have already gone without energy drinks for about 40 days, but I want to make some headway on refined sugar that you can find in candy, and chocolate. Right now i feel as if I don't have the control over my sugar intake; yesterday I ate a whole bag of chocolate in 30 mins for example. I want to be the master of my own actions, and right now I feel like my second personality (I call him "ronkemannen") is in control of this area of my life. Advice appreciated.

I like to dwell on the positive progress for the most part, so here is a progress report (still no gaming - related activities xD)

-50 min of piano

-50 min of spanish

-90 min of computer programming

-four hours of reading a book called "the giver"

-120 min of meditation

-45 min walk

Gratitude journal:

-funny birds chirping outside today

-Spacex landing its rocket on a sea-platform, marking the start of the space-revolution

-warm weather and little wind 

-lamps in my room

-income from stocks

-vaccinations I got from the state

-blue atmosphere full of o2

-motivational videos

-healthy food on the table

-milk, tea and water available to me (fresh fruit also), which would be an incredible luxury in the older times

 

Quote of the day:

"Never contract friendship with a man that is not better than yourself" -Confucius 

 

A short reflection on why so many people fail to reach their potential

I watched Cam's video on motivation today, and I really liked it. What made me though sad is that I have never had a friend like Cam (I'm guessing most of the people also on this forum) - who is both a dream-chaser and hard working and inspirational. If I had I probably never would have ended up in this mess, where several YEARS of my life has been spent on video games. That's why I picked out the quote above today. To remember to always surround yourself with great people if possible, because they WILL bring you up with them. As I read somewhere on the forum a couple of days ago: your income is the average of your five friends.

 

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I didn't really have friends like that either until a few years ago when I committed to finding them so I could be inspired and they could help me grow. It's made a huge difference in my life ever since.

Did you know I had a private tour of SpaceX a month ago? Being in the facility was so dope. Can't wait for what's next from them.

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I didn't really have friends like that either until a few years ago when I committed to finding them so I could be inspired and they could help me grow. It's made a huge difference in my life ever since.

Did you know I had a private tour of SpaceX a month ago? Being in the facility was so dope. Can't wait for what's next from them.

Wow..., I would kill for an opportunity like that!

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Day 53 (11/4/2016): (I AM NOT SMART! I AM NOT SMART!)

I am not smart. Nobody comes to me for advice. Nobody cares for what I have to say. Nobody knows who I am. I could slit my wrists tomorrow and the world would go on as NORMAL. Eighteen years I have lived in a country with access to books, technology and computers. What good have I done with all that knowledge? Nothing. I have not made any peoples lives better nor made a difference in this world. There are two billion people on earth with no access to electricity. They would kill for an opportunity like the one I have. And I have wasted it.

I was disgusted with myself today for making a disgusting choice. Instead of taking an opportunity to learn something really hard in programming today, I quit. Looked to hard. Made me feel dumb. Can't have that right? There is this fallacy in my mind that people who are smart don't struggle. Everything comes easy to them without any effort. That's why I skip out of such opportunities. And I hate myself so much for it. 

Talking to people I always try to give the illusion that I am a smart person. Why? Why do I do that? Why not just admit that I know very little, that my knowledge is the size of a single piece of sand in the Saharan desert? Maybe I should quit talking.

Gratitude journal:

-blessed to have been gifted a safe childhood free from trauma

-thankful for all the information I have available

-grateful for the fact that I have food and water

-happy since I can get a haircut

-inspired by how animals live in the present

-I sometimes want to thank my mother and father for bothering to raise me at all

-warm clothes

-watch 

-safety

-freedom of speech

Quote of the day:

"Never neglect an opportunity for improvement" -Sir William Jones

 

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Talking to people I always try to give the illusion that I am a smart person. Why? Why do I do that? Why not just admit that I know very little, that my knowledge is the size of a single piece of sand in the Saharan desert? Maybe I should quit talking.

Don't know if it helps you but I'm sure 90% of all people do this(myself included) .  It is a human instinct that you want to be accepted and want people to like and respect you. To show that you are vulnerable in real life is damn hard. It is very rewarding too, if you realize that people like the flawed shitty person you really are.

Another inside I had yesterday was that being proud of the things you do good, brings you way farther then shaming yourself about things you didn't accomplish. I know it sounds illogical to find things to be proud of when you want to change but in my opinion the idea of self punishment for things you done bad, doesn't work at all. It is like dog training.If you want to train a dog, you need to be patient and praise him for things he did good and punish him (if at all)lightly so he is able to learn and is not scared as hell. Let your "primitive" mind be your dog and your conscious is the dog trainer.

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Day 54 (14/4/2016)

Gratitude journal:

I am grateful for the fact that I have everything I need to cover my basic necessities, such as a toilet, food, shelter and clothes. Today I also remembered how blessed I AM for having a mother and father who have tried as best as they can to give me a good upbringing. Many billions of humans cannot say that they experienced such a luxury. I probably should thank them more and be grateful whenever I can. Finally I want to thank Mother Earth for the perfect living conditions it provides: atmosphere, crops, water, land and so on. I should treat her better, because Mars, Venus and Mercury are all horrible in comparison. 

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Day 56 (16/4/2016)

Gratitude journal:

-warm, beautiful weather outside

-tractors driving around fertilizing fields that will provide cows with food

-warm thoughts to all farmers out there, who for often meager pay take care of the land and grow crops. Couldn't eat without them.

-glad that I had the money to buy a biography called "the Wright brothers". The book gave me the same advice that almost all biographies of great people give: have a positive attitude, work really hard and follow your dreams.

-happy since I got to talk to one of my neighbors yesterday. He has a good heart and is enjoyable to be around.

-again, really grateful for all my clothes and shoes. Sometimes one take this things for granted, but then realize that it is a luxury.

-flowers and green grass everywhere

-the smell of summer

-sea gulls hunting for worms

-Nasa website!

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