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Everything posted by AJ_Manley

  1. Journal 9th Page (14/05/16) DETOX TIME Day 47 Hey everyone, had a fantastic few weeks. I have moved out of the girlfriends house, got accepted to do nursing training at my local university and spent a lot of time with old friends. Already meet some amazing new people and am continuing to push myself to go out as much as I can! I am excited and very nervous about going back to university to study again and am glad I wont have to move away from my friends. Its a shame that I have to leave my current job as I have enjoyed more than any job previously but I release that to do the things I want to do I am going to need job prospects that go above what I can realistically achieve just working in care. Seeing the ex a few times to organise moving things out of the house has been super awkward but no surprise there ! Got to pay for my half of the rented house till the end of September so that is not cheap, but would be far worse if I had to live there till then. Have tried my hand at the wonderfully fucked up world that is on line dating again.Don't really see it working out given how many crazy girls I have met through it previously but will see how it goes. Am really happy with how bust I am at the moment anyway so not desperate to find anyone else ! Detox is going great too, haven't had any physical symptoms from my depression/anxiety and sleeping well. So that is it for me right now, I am out !
  2. Journal 8th Page (17/04/16) DETOX TIME Day 20 WOW ! What a difference a week makes... Breaking the Girlfriend Trap The last few days have been insane ! Meeting the new band members meant I met a great girl who might not really be my type but did show me that my girlfriend isn't the only girl in the world ! Had a long chat with my old friends and was nice to get their opinions on quitting gaming, going to uni and most importantly breaking up with the girlfriend. Knowing I have the backing of the people that know me best makes all the difference. While breaking up with the girlfriend can't be done super quickly because I live with her I am at least able to start making steps towards getting out of the house. For once the idea of being single doesn't actually bother me, probably because as harsh as it sounds. None of the best memories of this year so far have been with her. Just a quick journal entry tonight but got a good plan and some goals moving forward so I am pretty happy !
  3. Hey man great to see you on here. Can't recommend this forum enough. There are lots of challenges you will face as you go though this process but taking it one day at a time and realising your strengths and weaknesses will make a big difference. I wish you luck
  4. "This is another problem I struggle with. I'm really good at money management but I fail to 'not' spend money" Definitely something I still need to work on too !
  5. Journal 7th Page (09/04/16) DETOX TIME Day 12 Day 12.. Pretty damn happy with that. Had a few arguments with the girlfriend recently, worked long shifts at work, have slept over at work too and all without gaming at all ! Went to a university interview day yesterday and did really well in the tests and the interviews so feeling pretty confident about that. The course I want to do is probably only going to be funded by the government for this next year before they rack up the prices to the point when its not even worth it so will have to take that into account if I am offered a place. Haven't met up with friends a lot because of work but still chatting with them when I get the odd free moment so can't complain ! Going to see some new musicians later on today to meet up about starting a new band and while I doubt it will come to anything will be fun to go somewhere new and meet some new people. Get to drive to into Cambridge too so will be good to see somewhere relatively close that I have never seen before. Have realised that taking things one day at a time really does make all the difference. While I am nowhere near where I want to be, I can at least say I am moving in the right direction for a change. Its certainly better than no direction at all !
  6. Would love to try meditation and definitely think it would help me but have no idea how to begin. Any tips you can give me would be appreciated
  7. Thanks Cam ! I have indeed joined the study
  8. Thanks Cam ! I have indeed joined the study
  9. Much appreciated thanks Definitely need to get a good morning routine worked out !
  10. Journal 6th Page (30/03/16) DETOX TIME Day 2 Decided to completely stop gaming again. I have been playing a bit on lots of different games and consoles over the last few weeks and while I haven't spent a lot of time on each one I I don't want to get drawn into spending money or indeed any more time on something I am definitely not enjoying as much as I once did. So with that in mind today I uninstalled Steam. Something which took my laptop a long time considering how many games I have installed ! Next I have given myself a deadline of the end of May to get rid of my Xbox 1 and 360. Been mentioning it to friends and my girlfriend the last few days too so that should help with accountability! Time to find out if going cold turkey and doing the detox will help. It sure can't make things worse Taking extra shifts at work so while that won't leave me a lot of spare time in the next couple of weeks it will at least help get me out the small debt hole I have. Finally got in contact with a few fitness group around my area too so can start getting a bit healthier too, just walking more and eating a healthier isn't enough.Only thing I need to do before going to work now is decide a good way to celebrate once I get to 90 days without gaming!Got to keep the positive thoughts coming and come up with more goals to put on the calendar too Favourite Lyrics at the moment "How young are you gonna be when you die?I guess I've never really thought about thatYou're dying when you start thinking like thatAll I know is time is undefeated so far"
  11. I am in Bedfordshire, in Flitwick if you know it, basically between Bedford and Luton. I haven't been doing the gaming detox, mainly just been been cutting down the hours of gaming I do per week atm but might start the detox in the future if need be Yeah yeah I know it, have some family there :), what a small world ^^. N yeah I'm coming up to a month's detox I may start again moderately to see how it goes. Yeah well definitely let me know how it goes for you. I have just decided today to start the detox and see how I go. Haven't got anything to lose that is for sure !
  12. Journal 5th Page (23/03/16) The new job is going well so far, looking forward to getting paid finally! Get on with everyone at work really well which helps. Chatting with new musicians in hopes of starting a new band which will be awesome (I play bass, piano and trumpet). Looking forward to saving up money over the summer and deciding where I want to go on holiday next summer or next March (for my birthday). At the moment the top of the list goes to Reykjavik. Husky / reindeer sledging, hot springs and the Northern lights sound pretty sweet to me ! So as the job is going well and I am assuming it will continue to the next challenges are 1. Get fitter. I got on the scales last week and I have never wieghted more so that needs to change big time. So gonna look into fitness groups around Bedfordshire as well as do more workouts at home. 2. Decide whether I am happy living with my girlfriend or not. Now this one is a bit trickier because at the moment I am experiencing depression and anxiety and obviously don't want to walk away from something good if that is the reason for the problem. I am taking counselling and going through the motions through but am starting to get mentally prepared to leave if I need to. Think I would be quite happy living alone and I know my family and friends would be supportive so that helps. So that is me up to date anyway, let's see what the next few weeks bring
  13. DUDE I'm from Houghton Regis! Where abouts you from? Are you still on the gaming detox? Hey Damn that is close to me !! I am in Bedfordshire, in Flitwick if you know it, basically between Bedford and Luton. I haven't been doing the gaming detox, mainly just been been cutting down the hours of gaming I do per week atm but might start the detox in the future if need be
  14. I can definitely relate to this. I've never chased dreams either. I hardly know what my dreams are because I haven't done anything else besides play videogames my entire life. I'm hoping to change that. I imagine you are too. We'll do it together. Sounds great to me , wish me luck!
  15. Hey Smoked Beef, also looking forward to more journal entries from you. Good luck for the next 90 days !
  16. Journal 4th Page (14/03/16) Standards, Must's and a Crappy 25th Birthday Raise your standards ! and Change all the " should's to "must's" These are two new rules I am using right now. I have been upset with many parts of my life for a long time. I haven't chased any dreams and let others make major decisions for me. With starting my new job I decided I would be myself. I wouldn't be quiet and keep to myself. I wouldn't refrain from saying what I think of the job and the people I work with, good or bad. I would make a conscious effort to engage with people to find out more about them instead of sitting on the sidelines. I have only been with the new job for a little over two weeks and doing this has made a world of difference. Not only am I getting along with everyone I work with but I also feel like I am part of a real team effort and that I can much more easily bring up concerns than previously. It may not be the greatest paid job or the most exciting by any stretch but I can honestly say that I learn something new everyday about the people I work with, and that makes the work itself far more enjoyable. I have struggled with contacting friends for as long as I can remember. If others didn't arrange nights out and events for me then they wouldn't happen. Even just staying in touch with distant friends slowly became so difficult that I now only keep in touch with a few friends at all. My facebook for example has over 400 "friends" but I maybe speak to only 10 of those people. Now while I still find it hard to initiate contact with friends I have decided to change those "should's to must's". So if I think of a mate and wonder how they are doing and think "Hey I should text them soon and find out" then I have to do it straight away and not just pretend I will do it later. This year I turned 25 years old. For my birthday I went out for dinner with my girlfriend.. That is all I did. I didn't see friends, I didn't make memories, I didn't even see my parents. It was seriously one of the worse birthdays I can remember, when its meant to be one of the best. Why? Because I made no effort to do anything. I let it slip past and I pretended I wasn't bothered my mates did nothing with me. In fact I was bothered. I was disappointed and I am very angry with myself for letting my life get to a point where my birthday means so little. I know I deserve better and the people around me deserve a better person than I have been to them. So the job is going well, what now? Well now I need to use that wonderful thing called a calender. I have heard it helps to make plans further than a week in advance, something I am truly terrible at. I am meeting up with a new band this Friday so might be joining a band again which would be great (I play bass guitar, trumpet and piano). Then more exercise. I stood on some scales a couple of days ago and I have never been heavier. Looking into local fitness groups in my area instead of just joining the gym as I want to keep improving my social skills at the same time and it can't hurt to get to know people near where I live.
  17. Hey Milan, welcome and good luck
  18. Journal 3rd Page (01/03/16) I finally started a new job yesterday and I have gone from roughly 20 hours a week over 5 or 6 days to 40 hours a week over the same time period. This is bound to create two instances. The first is that I will have much less time to game, especially during the day. The second however is that I run the risk of gaming a lot more in the evenings when I am tired. So my task for this week is to come up with more things to do away from the laptop or the house, because if I am now making more money, I should use the little time I have free to spend some of it It is my birthday later on this week and of course I haven't organised anything. At least if I can see a few mates for a few hours I can have a few beers. Another thing I think I need to do is post on here more. Even if its just that I make sure I am updating the journal once a week, getting into a good habit will only help.
  19. AJ_Manley


    Great to see you here Caith and well done just for being so honest ! I haven't even been a part of this forum a week but I am amazed at how open everyone is here. Its really made a difference to me seeing the wide range of topics openly discussed and I am sure it will help a lot ! Your in the right place !
  20. I am about to start learning guitar too ! The best thing about concentrating on a musical instrument is that there is so much you can discover and learn based around it. You can also then play and possibly perform with others to help with being social and meeting new people too.
  21. Ideas just off the top of my head real quick. Exercise, ( gym, clubs, teams). Seeing Friends Playing an instrument Reading/Writing My thought process at the moment is if you can do something that gets you off a seat and moving around the house that is good. If you can do something that gets you out of the house that is great and if you can do something that gets you out of the house and involving other people then its fantastic !
  22. Journal 2nd Page, 5th Day 15/02/2016 This last week has been a... well not crazy but certainly different. I started it thinking I wanted a change and as the days have gone on I have only added to the changes I want. I remembered countless conversations I have had with friends and family talking about how if you can change one thing and stick with it then you can change many things. So my first thing was to stop gaming. A feat I only truly accomplished on Thursday (11.02.16). So that is 4 full days of no video games at all and while I do look at that as a good thing, there is a thought in my mind that stays with me. The thought that I should be looking forward to try and find that fork in the road so I make sure I make the right choice and don't go driving off a cliff. Well one I thing I have started to do is make a mental list of the things that I HAVE to do during the week and changing how I do them. Then doing the same for things I WANT to do.Then I can try to find ways to combine the HAVE's and the WANT'sFor instance shopping for food. I live a ten minute walk from a big supermarket but I always drive to it. I would say that its too cold, too dark or will take too long to walk etc. I also realised I was far more likely to drive or put off going to the shops all together at night time. So now I have a rule that if I need a big shop I do it on line and if I want something small I walk for it. Exercise is something I want to do more, not only because of my health but also because I know from personal experience that the more I energy I have the more awake and assertive I will become. Another thing I have been doing is replying to emails and texts straight away. I have always taken ages to reply to messages regardless of who they are from and this has meant I have either missed out on opportunities or I simply haven't seem interested enough for the person to bother messaging again. This is something I can remember doing since getting my first phone. Just implementing these 2 rules has made a big difference for me so far. Instead of sitting on Facebook and staring at my phone but not actually messaging anyone I have managed to organise 2 cinema trips and a lunch at a local pub with an old mate I haven't seen in over a year. These plans were made by engaging properly with friends already around me. It didn't even require me to be the first person to text or call, (something I have always found a challenge) but simply to realise that their messages are important and that if I don't see them as that I will continue to run the risk of becoming too isolated. I need to stop typing so I get out of the house for a bit but here is a quote I found today I really like. I have linked in an article by the same guy and definitely think I will read more of them in the future. ''Call me crazy, but I believe that changing and improving your life requires destroying a part of yourself and replacing it with a newer, better part of yourself. It is therefore, by definition, a painful process full of resistance and anxiety. You can’t grow muscle without challenging it with greater weight. You can’t build emotional resilience without forging through hardship and loss. And you can’t build a better mind without challenging your own beliefs and assumptions.'' Mark Manson http://markmanson.net/procrastination#.lgjsc0:vCJq
  23. Today is my 14th day of gaming free. I got really stress out of nowhere and it triggered my urge but then I relax myself, ate a bit of sweet stuff and now I'm good. I'm going to find other activities beside watching TV series because I had used only TV series for substitution and I got relapse. I need to fulfill my needs all-round in order to success in this process Tan Hey Tan. I think that is a great idea, so far I am only on my 4th day of no gaming but I realised almost straight away that if I just watched TV it was just substituting one problem for another. For me it still has the risk of making me put things off till later or forget things completely. Another thing that makes a big difference to me is food. While gaming I sometimes went all day without drinking or eating anything but if you can be quite strict about how much food you eat and when it might make controlling your energy levels through the day easier. Good luck !
  24. Thanks really appreciate it ! Will definitely be sticking round the forums and journals, this site is awesome !
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