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Torleif's Journal


ThePerfectApology
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Day 16 (7/3/2016)

First day of my life where I followed a custom made plan made by myself whoooo! I noticed though that some routines were too ambitious. Adding an hour of Duolingo every day was a bit too much, as I am implementing slowly 30 - 60 minutes of piano and computer programming too. However what I was most happy with today was my own self - experimentation. I had noticed that around midday I was always feeling a bit cloudy and tired, to the point where I almost could not do any math at all. So what did I do? I tried implementing new routines, where I now meditate for 10 - 30 min on headspace (finished 10 day free trial, thinking about subscribing...), and afterwards take a walk with my dog. Results? Newfound energy which I use to program and play piano afterwards!

I started reading the slight edge by Jeff Olson today also and it is truly amazing. Not only does it describes the math behind implementing new routines and how most people don't understand the compounding effect it has, it also shows how today's societies focus on short - term pleasure has put a veil in front of our eyes. Success is not something that comes out of nowhere, it is a long journey, and it starts by taking one step at a time. Though almost all self - help books like Respawn and many more understand this, The Slight Edge is the first book that really explains it deeply (Jeff Olson did not pay me to say this btw).

Anyway, I'll try as hard as I can to follow my routines throughout this week, building the house one brick at a time. 

Gratitude journal:

-gratified for staying positive

-nice weather

-awesome dog as always

-my own piano 

 

Quote of the day

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. -Lao Tzu

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The Slight Edge is the first book that really explains it deeply (Jeff Olson did not pay me to say this btw).

Liked the book too, even if it s kind of repetetive to the extreme and everyone seems to become millionaires in his stories. But the things he says just make sense.

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Day 17 (8/3/2016)

Willpower is a mystery to me. I thought I had a firm grasp of it, but recently I have found that I might be mistaken. Here's the story: When I quit gaming 17 days ago I had an understanding with my brain. "I give you sugar, candy, energy drinks, and loud music so you won't sabotage me when I use my willpower on staying away from games. Deal? " Deal said my brain. Now I am finding that maybe my brain has been playing tricks on me. What if I actually have more willpower than I think I have, but my skull has convinced me that I haven't. I mean, my brain is addicted to endorphins right (?), and generally doing things I find uncomfortable don't release endorphins... This substance inside my head is trying to sabotage me!

So therefore in one of the coming days I will do some self - experimentation. I will try to do everything I find uncomfortable for one day. Just one to get a better awareness of my limits, and getting to know myself better. I'm not sure I believe in people changing in a Herculean way, but I do like the thought of beating my skull - substance in its own game. 

Gratitude journal:

-clean air

-nice weather

-friendly neighbors

-cool dog

-phone

-supply of paper and pen

-warm room

Quote of the day:

When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you. -Lao Tzu

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One great way of thinking that has helped me with willpower is thinking about the situations you need to refuse from something as a favour for your tomorrow self rather than trying to just abstain from something. This way you can keep the positives in mind and at least for me it turns having willpower much easier. It's like willpower in a self-compassionate way!

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Day 19 (10/3/2016)

 

The good

Still no video games, thank God. Progress has been good on KhanAcademy where I slowly and steadily have been churning away through algebra 2. Subscribed to headspace for a month, and have been meditating each day now for over two weeks. Also been going on 40 minute walks everyday with my dog. Piano and programming lessons have been going good, and this week I have merged them to create a simple program. It just displays note values and such, but I'm proud of it. Furthermore I have been drinking a lot of water the last days.

The bad

I feel like I have been dishonest with myself through my whole detox. I should have made a plan to avoid all unnecessary use of the computer from day one, but some days I have spent an unforgiving amount of time on sillyness, like Netflix and the likes. 

Problem

Family has invited me on their yearly holiday trip, and I don't want to go. Why? Because holidays are there for people who need to recharge their batteries, and I feel fine. Besides I have a good thing going on here: progress in quitting gaming, going on walks, meditating etc. I feel like this will be jeopardized if I go with them. I will not be able to play piano for example while I am there, and theres no internet. On the other hand this will be my last chance to see my relatives for quite a while, especially my grandmother who has perhaps five years left to live. My family usually goes on a lot of mountain trips while they are there (exercise), and relaxes. I mean, I might be selfish but it's scary to think about that I might fall back into bad habits.

 

Quote of the day (again)

“It doesn't matter how slowly you go-so long as you do not stop.” ― Confucius

 

Gratitude journal

-Fresh air to breathe

-Snow!

-Shoes to wear

-Jacket to keep me warm

-new sweater

-stars in the night sky

-online education

-TedTalks :)!

 

 

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“It doesn't matter how slowly you go-so long as you do not stop.” ― Confucius

Yep! There's always going to be different places we want to improve our life - the point is to notice them and then set intentions to improve them, not get down on ourselves which leads to discouragement, shame and feeling paralyzed to take action.

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It is ok to be selfish for some time. But see it as a chance to improve on your social skills. At the end of the day family and friends are the most important factors for your own happiness. Improving your relationships is always worth your time. Awesome progress by the way. I am excited where it all goes! I am thinking about starting to play piano again. How did you get back into it? Are you just playing old pieces again?

greetings Mario

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It is ok to be selfish for some time. But see it as a chance to improve on your social skills. At the end of the day family and friends are the most important factors for your own happiness. Improving your relationships is always worth your time. Awesome progress by the way. I am excited where it all goes! I am thinking about starting to play piano again. How did you get back into it? Are you just playing old pieces again?

greetings Mario

Thanks Mario! I started playing piano a month ago by watching the videos in this series. I didn't really play piano before, except for one time when I learned myself "an end once and for all" from mass effect 3.

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Day 21 (12/3/2016)

21 days without gaming xD whoooo! And some other great news: tomorrow I'm going to create my new calendar for the the next week/month! The old one was getting well... kinda old and I want to implement some new routines into it. Not sure why, but for me planning really helps me get stuff done. I also finished the slight edge today and I hanged up a picture of jeff olsons compounding simple habits graph. One of my goals for the  next months is not only to read all these books like respawn and the slight edge, but also embody it. There is a huge difference between just understanding intellectually and actually doing/embodying it. But as always, one step at a time. Rome was not built in one day.

 

Gratitude journal:

-light to read with

-heat to keep me warm

-a comfortable bed

-peaceful environment

-nice calculator

-warm tea

-great books to read for small amounts of money

Edited by ThePerfectApology
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Day 22 (13/3/2016)

Filled out my calender for the next five days, leaving no time for boredom. Inserted gratitude journal in the morning (self - experimenting since I already have one in my detox) and scheduled piano, programming and reading in the evening. My biggest problem now is the weekends, as there is a lot of free time to be filled and not enough activities to fill them with.

Gratitude journal

-great sister 

-access to this community

-great dinner

-clean room

-cozy weather

-beautiful scenery outside 

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Good job scheduling for the next 5 days. Make it a goal to have a few things to go to on the weekends. Is there a farmers market nearby? A social event you could go to? A hike you've wanted to check out?

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Good job scheduling for the next 5 days. Make it a goal to have a few things to go to on the weekends. Is there a farmers market nearby? A social event you could go to? A hike you've wanted to check out?

Hiking trip sounds like a lot of fun, I'll check that out. There are mountains all around where I live so I'm sure there are lots of opportunities. Thanks Cam!

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Good job scheduling for the next 5 days. Make it a goal to have a few things to go to on the weekends. Is there a farmers market nearby? A social event you could go to? A hike you've wanted to check out?

Hiking trip sounds like a lot of fun, I'll check that out. There are mountains all around where I live so I'm sure there are lots of opportunities. Thanks Cam!

Take a picture and post it here! :D

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Day 23 (14/3/2016)

A couple of days ago I dreamed I was watching Youtube videos, League of Legends to be exact. Stranger things have happened. Anyway, gooooood morning Vietnam! I mean Norway. Today has been a 10/10 day. You know why? I finally understood the sin cos tan function in math. This is a big deal to me because it was one of the most magical, weirdest, most unfathomable thing to me before. The first time a teacher introduced it to me in class it went like this: "ok class, if we type this number divided by this number into the calculator, then we get this weird number that is less than zero. Now if we take this weird ass number and put it in a thing called a sine (inverse) on our calculator, we get an angle!" Hmmm :o.....

I also did my gratitude journal when I woke up, went for a walk and drank a lot of water. Furthermore I tried making my second computer program/drawing of a flower, which gave me a lot more respect for computer geeks, given just how hard it is for me to draw a flower in javascript. Lastly I played piano, making some slow and steady progress. I'm not bragging btw, only telling the truth. I like trying to focus on the positives, and rather think of negatives as "feedback" for what I need to improve on.

Gratitude journal

-neutral smell in room

-promising future of humanity

-mas tecnologia para me

-el árbol con muchas de aves

 

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Good job scheduling for the next 5 days. Make it a goal to have a few things to go to on the weekends. Is there a farmers market nearby? A social event you could go to? A hike you've wanted to check out?

Hiking trip sounds like a lot of fun, I'll check that out. There are mountains all around where I live so I'm sure there are lots of opportunities. Thanks Cam!

Take a picture and post it here! :D

image1.thumb.JPG.c423113d559be45633306c5

Edited by ThePerfectApology
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Good job scheduling for the next 5 days. Make it a goal to have a few things to go to on the weekends. Is there a farmers market nearby? A social event you could go to? A hike you've wanted to check out?

Hiking trip sounds like a lot of fun, I'll check that out. There are mountains all around where I live so I'm sure there are lots of opportunities. Thanks Cam!

Take a picture and post it here! :D

image1.thumb.JPG.c423113d559be45633306c5

awesome photo!

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Day 24 (15/3/2016)

Sometimes I wish I had a magic closet like they had in Narnia, only mine would lead into a sick gaming room with the most beast computer on the planet. There would be a mini-fridge full of energy drinks there, and lots of yummy candy with extra bowls filled to the top with chips, and a scantily clad Emma Watson as my personal assistant. Time would stand still while I was away, so whenever I got tired of gaming I could just jump back into my own world. Sadly nobody has invented this yet so I guess I'm stuck here until then.

Finally managed to create a flower in javascript, and well on my way to read sheet music on the piano. Not much more to say tbh. I still have not relapsed but I won't let my guard down. Anyway, I should go to bed.

Gratitude journal

-music

-half moon 

-beautiful stars in the night sky

 

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Day 25 (16/3/2016)

I read somewhere that having the right philosophy is key since it formes your attitude, which forms your opinion, which forms your action, which forms your life. That is all well and good, if you have the right one. If you, like me, have the wrong mindset -which I'm sure a majority of us have - you struggle with everyday things that should be obvious. Not drinking soda is hard, not sleeping in is hard, not procrastinating is hard. Life, your life, is not something you can invest in (at least in your eyes). And that's when you know the instant gratification monkey has taken over.

Read this if you haven't as it is key to understanding what I am going through. And watch this also btw. When I'm doing something unpleasant I can either give up, or continue. Now all logical statements and facts say to never give up, here's a few good quotes to underline my point:

"If you're going through hell, keep going" -Winston Churchill

"Be honest with yourself, and with people. Be punctual, never give up, achieve your goals, even when everything goes bad. -Steve Jobs

"First they ignore your, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win" -Mahatma Gandhi

"I haven't failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work" -Thomas Edison

So why do keep screwing up? Why is it when I'm solving a really hard math problem and I cannot seem to solve it yet, I would rather give up and do something else? Even the smartest scientists haven't truly figured this one out yet. My opinion is that the brain is freaking complex, and you are born without any instruction - manual for it so you gotta figure it out yourself. My conclusion or cure if you would like it is this: "Just do it". Popularized by Nike in the 20th century it will be my new symbol for getting through everyday life. That's right, just fucking do it! Don't listen to your emotions, don't listen to the pain, don't listen to the fatigue, listen to yourself and just fucking do it! Because deep inside you, in your soul, there is a voice which knows what to do. It might get buzzed out by life, but it is still there. And the best way to listen to it is "to just do it!".

Gratitude journal:

-moon in the night sky

-fresh evening air

-my own keyboard

-roof over my head

-great rolemodels

-positive going curve in life

 

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Day 25 (16/3/2016)

I read somewhere that having the right philosophy is key since it formes your attitude, which forms your opinion, which forms your action, which forms your life.

 

That's some Yoda level stuff right there brother. 

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