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Dark

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Have you thought of doing calisthenics/weight-free exercises? I've never had a gym membership, just exercise outdoors/in my room. 

Yes, my press exercises was (day 1 - day 17) just weight free, but i was member of gym in past, so i know that u can gain faster results and more consistent ones by regularly visiting gym. At my point , i have 6-x cubes press, but i am pretty weak in terms of arms. I used to 8-10 pullups, now i can do only 2-4. I just wanna regain some strenght and muscles again, so i can be sure in my strenght and health. The problem right now is , i am activly going for doctors, because something strange happening to my organims reactions for sugar? or smt like it. I hope it is not deabities and i am young for it, but better be safe than sorry. Also its good to go out,because right now its uni -> home and back. Thats baisically my logic here. 

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DAY # 23

Time I woke up: 7:15 am

Time I went to sleep yesterday:  1:39 a.m

 

Physical task: Eat to reprepare for GYM day today

Mental task: Homework + WORK + Publication (All small tasks)

Projects: Going for exam | ML project | Small python tasks | Writo one publication

 

New section: 

Plans:

~ Chapter 1 :  Exam - Redo questions 1 -> 38    FACT 1->12

~ Chapter 2:  Small Python tasks LP 1   1 - > 18 Fact 1 ->5

~ Chapter 3:  Exercies - Press and Arms FACT GYM DAY ( LEGS )

So plan: Work -> University -> GYM -> FOCUS on homework + publication -> Sleep early

Green is already done!

Edited by Dark
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Day #0/90

 

This is a relapse, so might try a new method. So did some python coding and test preparation, also played some DND and that's basically it. Not much achieved, also deleted games once again. Also maybe my GF is cheating rn I don't know. Will tell tomorrow and that's so cringe really. If is is so I will end relationship. Or maybe I am paranoid. 

 

What I'm thankful for:

Dad for coming to my house and helping with a cleaning. 

 

Goals for Day #1

- Test

- Work

- GYM

 

 

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Day #1/90

 

 

 

Was a hard day. Not because of plans, but because of emotions. First of all, I was a complete dumbass and my girlfriend didn't cheat, but now she is bo longer my gf. We had a long honest talk and it ended like this. Don't wanna go to personal. Am I sad? Don't know really. We ended up as friends. Second, my parents and DND games. Also long, heavy talk that I am losing my life ober games. One or other, it is all fiction. I agree with this, tho I didn't find it right at first. Big shout-out for GYM it really took all negative emotions and rage, so I could solve this problems cold-blooded way. Semi-feiled test, as completed only on of three questions, BUT I can redo it on Wednesday. More over, I did first part of work and it's time for some wore of it.

 

 

What I'm thankful for:

 

Ex for honesty.

Mom for advice 

 

 

 

Goals for Day #1

 

- Homework 

 

- Work

 

- Prep for gym and rewrite goals. 

- Doctors appointment 

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I remember last time I went to college to collect my remaining certificates, there was this girl (probably second year) who was asked to look after me (I had to search through certificates myself). Just because I am short and not looking very well she only gave me 30min to search (I was weak minded that time so just hurried). There is so much rotten memories in my head I dont want to open. Sorry if none of this makes sense, just remembered and wanted to share. If you think this post is polluting your journal Ill remove it.

All the best for your goals!

Edited by sniper
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9 hours ago, Dark said:

Don't wanna go to personal

Hey, feel free to share more- at the moment, I can only empathize, and would love to be more supportive- why did you (both) decide to end your romantic relationship? What do you mean by "friends"? 

But also, no pressure- I know these ain't easy things to feel and share. I'm glad you're still finding gratitude in this uneasy relationship shift.

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9 hours ago, sniper said:

Compared to someone like me who doesnt know what a "girlfriend" is you are doing great!

Imo, this is a self-deprecating compliment: you bring yourself down to bring someone else up. How do you see compliments like that yourself?

9 hours ago, sniper said:

Just because I am short and not looking very well she only gave me 30min to search

Curious, how did you know if was because you're short/not confining yourself to contemporary beauty standards? That seems really harsch.

Po

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Hey, feel free to share more- at the moment, I can only empathize, and would love to be more supportive- why did you (both) decide to end your romantic relationship? What do you mean by "friends"? 

I destroyed realationship when i played vidiogames .... and notised it only now. This why we had  a honest talk and i addmited not seeing farrer from my computer screen. I was so blind its crazy. She calls and writes me daily and i dont know even why? I just need to focus to become a better person right now. Always used a sport| learning as a new focus to not bring thoughts

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I remember last time I went to college to collect my remaining certificates, there was this girl (probably second year) who was asked to look after me (I had to search through certificates myself). Just because I am short and not looking very well she only gave me 30min to search (I was weak minded that time so just hurried). There is so much rotten memories in my head I dont want to open. Sorry if none of this makes sense, just remembered and wanted to share. If you think this post is polluting your journal Ill remove it.

All the best for your goals!

Thank you and u can share here storries if you want i am curious to hear( if you want of course, no preassure))

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Day #2/90

i was so sleepy trought this day but i managed to do work and some homework. Also some guys were trying to stop me from going to doctors saying that it is theirs turn( but i have a scheduled it) so i sad it and went). Learned some more things for bodybilding, want to start gainig weight and bulcking ( current 63kg | 6 feet). Didnt finish goals but read book about giving public speach by famous speaker

What I'm thankful for:

@Pochatok and @sniper u made my evening today. It feels so good to have a story to share and a story to read)

Grandma for supporting me)

Random girl for helping me out)

 

Goals for Day #3

- Test

- Homework

- Goals

- GYM

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@Pochatok 

1. Its common for people in my region to say comments like that everytime but I understand its not really great ill avoid it.

2. Yeah I was, im just human after all, but instead of crying ill try to make best use of whatever I have.  

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19 hours ago, Dark said:

I destroyed realationship when i played vidiogames .... and notised it only now. This why we had  a honest talk and i addmited not seeing farrer from my computer screen. I was so blind its crazy. She calls and writes me daily and i dont know even why? I just need to focus to become a better person right now. Always used a sport| learning as a new focus to not bring thoughts

What do you mean by "not bring thoughts" and that "she calls and writes daily"? Are you using learning as a method of avoidance from internal unease, and is your now-friend still chatting w/ you? For the 1st question, a concern; for the second- am just curious. 

Oh, since we're on relationships: gotta pitch you "Just Break Up", the relationship advice podcast that changed my life (not an understatement- I have never had relationships as wonderful as I have now, and it would have never happened w/out the podcast).

Po

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19 hours ago, sniper said:

2. Yeah I was, im just human after all, but instead of crying ill try to make best use of whatever I have.  

Oh, I phrased my question poorly- apologies! What I meant is, how do you know that your appearance was the reason she acted impatiently/rushed?

Also yes- love that attitude! We're all doing our best 🙂

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3 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Oh, I phrased my question poorly- apologies! What I meant is, how do you know that your appearance was the reason she acted impatiently/rushed?

Also yes- love that attitude! We're all doing our best 🙂

I assumed it like I assume the world is out to get me, I should stop doing that.

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Day #3/90

 

I did test! That's great. On the worse part I hand bot time to set goals. Shame on me.. Goal less person 🥴.. Also.i might have a semi-deadly I want it Disease  as doctor said. But I am not believing in it till second round of analysis will come. It just a chance right? Went to gym and uni, but can't stop thinking about ex gf. Maybe I did something wrong and I should not suggest a break up or I didn't understand her right? 

Ty for podcast will watch it. Also I watched some blogger talked about it and he said if you can't forget your past relationships than you are bad, because your life has no happyness outside of relationship. So that why I ll set goals and etc.

 

If I have mistaken I ll continue relationship with her. If not , I ll move on. Anyway I should focus on my life. 

What I'm thankful for:

- Podcast about relationships 

- Grandma for supporting me)

 

Goals for Day #4

- Homework

 

- Goals

 

- Work

Edited by Dark
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Day #4/90

 

We are fully finished with GF and thats feels great. Semi-bad that i wont have anyone backing me up at lectures and etc, but the deal is still a deal. I take those. Disiase was wrong second good news and more over did homework and goals. Anyway, now something more trivial. I know i am not fit yet and it is a waste of time to go on dates but would it be better so i can completely forget my GF? Also i  need to start making money once again and pay for my self. I need to stop being a loser. That is the main goal of this month

What I'm thankful for:

- Goals setting and focus channels

- Deep talk with parents

 

Goals for Day #5

- Homework( 1 small essay)

- Work

- GYM with trainer baybe!

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Day #5/90

Didn't work as much, finished essay last minute, but I did it anyway. Uni was semi good, and I was to tired but training with a trainer gave me a huge boost. I liked it so much that I continued training even after it was over. Need to make money and finish the exam I failed

 

What I'm thankful for:

 

- Trainer for amazing help and workout 

 

- Parents for support

 

 

 

Goals for Day #6

 

- Homework

 

- Work

 

- Exam ez let's go go go) 💪

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On 2/15/2024 at 1:35 PM, Dark said:

I know i am not fit yet and it is a waste of time to go on dates

disagree! kind people (imo, the people i actually would want to date) will not give a damn about how fit i am. they'll like me because i am a good person- and same for you! i think that by going to dates when you're "fit", you're setting yourself up for forming relationships w/ people who will primarily value you for your appearance, and not your personality. 

yes, being conventionally attractive helps w/ breaking the ice, but it's absolutely not a roadblock towards romantic relationships.

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Day #6/90

Early exam, than work, prep for exam. Started thinking about my ex and went to gym to stop it. Need to start listening to podcasts I guess. My friend called, and helped me to talk out my emotions and also the break up curve. Trained a little and made my fists bleed while training strike.  Than I had the courage to write to my ex and tell her to stop sending me good mornings and sleep well. 

What I'm thankful for:

- Training

- Friend support 

- Parents for support

- @Pochatokreal deal advice 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goals for Day #7

- Homework

- Work

- Exam ez let's go go go) 💪

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Day #7/90

EXAM concumed all my day.. No work( Which i was supposed to do, no homework even) Tommorow will be rough.  Managed to get some mathehes with girls ( in one day) i dont know ( its only one girl) but steal. Found out that my ex wasnt the most beutifull thing in the world. Now some more exam prep and sleep/

What I'm thankful for:

- Studytoghether group

Goals for Day #8

- Exam ( Finsh practise| repeat teorems | finish exam )

- Homework

- Work

 

 

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