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Martinof's Diary (moderation - may be triggering)


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Hi, new diary for me, since I'm not done with this.

I'm not as addicted as before, but I still play almost every day while the games are really not interesting, and I don't like this (I went from several hours a day to ~1h a day).

I lost so much because of video games and procrastination in general (I lost my girlfriend, and we have a child), I'm sad and angry when I think about it.

So here I go again, I have uninstalled my video games tonight : 0/90

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Hi, little success : 1/90

I worked out, did more than 30min of spanish. Still hard to go to bed early.

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Hi, little success : 2/90 (June 10)

It feels like a week, but no, it's been only 2 days lol. Same as the day before, I'm proud to have worked out, and to have done some spanish (+30min).

Unfortunately, I missed a meal (fruits) because I was too tired (I slept on my chair around midnight during a few hours before brushing my teeth and going to bed). I skipped the shower too :s

I really need to go to bed earlier, I don't even get 6h of sleep during the week (Monday -> Friday)

Today I received some bad news, I won't be able to see my daughter as often as before during the week (4 evenings -> 1-2 evenings), so I'm not happy. I don't want to play video games, but I'm afraid I will procrastinate. I need to do some tasks today, I will see my daughter tomorrow.

 

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Hi, little success : 3/90 (June 11)

I'm pretty satisfied with this Saturday : I did some tasks (vacuum, finally), took a shower (finally), took all my meals, sport, spanish, listening to music, and I didn't go to bed too late (0:30).

And the weather was nice : life is good 🙂

 

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Hi, little success : 4/90 (June 12)

I did a lot of things I wanted to do, I even went to bed early : 23:30 (it's early for me lol, usually I went to bed around 1:00). The disadvantage is that I was pretty bored during the evening, having to do my tasks without much procrastinating so I can go to bed early.

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I'm just starting now, but I can see the boredom getting to me eventually as well. I've plans to tackle boredom with drawing and art studies, plus cycling and even a couple social events here and there like meetups and the like. It's good to hear you've been managing to go to bed earlier, you know! Congrats for that😎

 

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The more great sleep I got on a consistent basis I think is the less boring it seemed to shut down the computer earlier and the more I was looking forward to crawl into bed for more great sleep and also to my evening bath, a little sodoku magazine, evening walk with the sun setting or even just sitting outside. I set an alarm every evening for me to start that winding down routine which really helps immensely to stay on track. This is the path that worked for me and I just wanted to share that.

@Frettzo@Martinof

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Hi, thank you for your comments !

Little success : 6/90 (June 14)

Monday and Tuesday were pretty hard for me, but not for the video games. In fact I was sad, mainly because of work, then because of the loneliness (I couldn't see my daughter on Tuesday evening like before).

Today was better, I wasn't sad. I do what I have to do at work (less procrastinating), and I feel better about my ex (I need to let her go : she's not interested).

Since I feel better, I tell myself that I could game, "it won't hurt, right ?" lol, it's a trap ! I have to continue like this for the 90 days at least. If I feel better, it's partially because I don't game, so I need to keep going.

 

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Hi, little success : 7/90, 1 week !

I felt like a month lol. Sometimes I want to play again, but this desire is not strong.

I did an interesting exercise today : what if I could go back in time ? To key moments when I failed or needed to change. I made a list of these moments, and then I wrote what I should have done. And surprisingly, almost all the things I should have done could be applied to each of this moments : to be more hardworking (studies, work, looking for a better job, housework, etc.) ; to be more combative (why let the power to others ?) ; to be bolder (socially : friends, girls). That was the 3 main things for me, and I almost never think about this, I should keep this in mind.

The 3 others things were : don't play video games, be careful to my sleep, and do more workouts. They're not secondary : with a lot of time spent on video games, a lack of sleep, not enough sport, well I won't have the strength to be hardworking, combative, bold.

Since I can't go back in time, I "just" need to apply this to the present, for a better life.

Try it and tell me what you find out 👍

 

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@goodvibesthanks for the tips, it does sound like a "winding-down" alarm would help me a ton. I feel like overexposure to computer screens is frying my brain and preventing me from dreaming at night.

@MartinofI hadn't thought about doing something like it, but taking some time where I'm bored to think of things I should've done in the past and applying them to the present does sound like a top tier action. As always, I'm glad to hear you're on track -- It gives me motivation to keep on track myself, since we started around the same time!

 

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Posted (edited)

Hi, good to see I give you motivation @Frettzo, now I'm even more motivated ! ^^

Little success 9/90 (June 17)

I went to the park today (I walked and ran), I didn't do something like this in a very long time, that was nice !

I see some improvements in my habits (sport, spanish, meals, shower, etc.), that's very good, but I still need to go to bed earlier.

This weekend I see my daughter, I'm glad 👍

I want to play, but I tell myself that I have to finish the 90 days first, then maybe I'll play, 1 day per week for example. But with all the little improvements I see when I don't play, I don't think it would be a good idea to play after the 90 days, even 1 day per week, it would be a waste.

Edited by Martinof
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Hi, 11/90 (June 19)

I still see the little improvements without video games (meals, sport...), it's a good motivation to continue like this during 3 months

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Hi, 16/90 (June 24)

The temptation to play is present, but I tell myself there are a lot of things I have to do, and can do in the real world.

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  • Martinof changed the title to Martinof's Diary (moderation - may be triggering)

Hi, as I said before, I relapsed https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/10346-relapse-i-will-try-moderation/

I will try to play with moderation. I'm relieved that it's compatible with gamequitters https://gamequitters.com/how-to-play-video-games-in-moderation/

So I will continue to post here, I think it can help me. And if it can help others, why not. If you feel moderation is not for you and you might be triggered by this, don't read ^^

 

So I read a bit about this (again), and I saw interesting things for children and teenagers that can work for me : 

30min/1h a day during school/work, 2h max a day during the weekend, not every day of the week. I think the last part is very important : if it's not a habit anymore, it will be easier to deal with this.

Last Saturday : ~2h ; last Sunday : ~2h -> I didn't plan to play this much, but it's still in the 2h limit, so it's quite ok for me for a relapse

Last Monday : ~2h -> too much, i should have played less (1h)

Last Tuesday : ~1h -> ok, in the limit

Last Wednesday : 0 ! -> very nice, and no wifi ! I went to sleep very early for me : 23h

Thursay : ~15min on an other game -> very nice, since it wasn't my main game, and it was very short

Friday : I plan to play 0min, so it will be the 2nd day without video game in the week

Saturday / Sunday : I don't know what to plan yet, max 2h each day

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Hi, Friday was fine, I didn't play. And this weekend neither ! I was busy during the day with my daughter, and I had other priorities the evenings/nights (sport, spanish...)

It feels good to put the games where they need to be : they're at the bottom of the list of priorities. Friday and Saturday I watch an episode of a series and a part of a movie (~1h and ~1h), so I guessed it helped to entertain me without using video games

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It warms my heart to know that you were able to spend quality time with your daughter. And of course, gaming being at the bottom of your priority. Stay strong!

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