LostRiver 137 Posted February 25 Author Share Posted February 25 (edited) As addicts, we're prone to wanting everything to happen instantly. But it's important to remember that Step Two is a process, not an event. Most of us don't just wake up one day and know that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. We gradually grow into this belief. Still, we don't have to just sit back and wait for our belief to grow on its own; we can help it along. Have I ever believed in anything for which I didn't have tangible evidence? What was that experience like? - It is hard to find something like that: I guess I lived a good life, with my parents providing for me, as such I do not have to gauging things too much. Not too many leaps of faith, not much risks, but at the same time, not too many opportunities taken. - The 1st times I take risks and join intership/ new position at my current company : 1st time, I was new to the company, but I just said I could go to places far from where I live, where there is plenty of work to do, many customers to serve. I believed that I could learn a lot more by serving customers. At the time, I was also steep in my addiction. All I did was work, stay late, go home, play games/ watch gaming content, sleep late, come in late, then repeat. I did not learn alot until I bumped into some nasty cases at work. My addiction prevented me from solving such problems and I turned into a living mess. Confused, hurt, afraid, without hope and without a plan to make things better. The stress overwhelmed me and I was consumed by my addiction. Granted, I did make acquaintance with my current mentor and many people who I respect. I met many people, and so I did become familiar with how business functions on the customers' side. It was not wasted. It was painful and I really wish I could have done better. But I do not regret taking that chance. - The 02nd times I take risks and join intership/ new position at my current company: 2nd time, I took a new position without knowing too much about it. I hated my current job and just wanted to escape. It was good when I got there, when I actually focus to apply myself to get stuffs done. I did make mistakes that I regrets but for 1st 6 months, I got dry. I was a dry drunk, not gaming but was very self-destructive. Once again shit got hairy. I left, I got demoted. I was almost fired. I hit rock bottom. But the people still help me and give me a chance and today I am healthy and accepted into that community, even though my unmanageable life still leads me to act out sometimes. Both experience was marred by my addiction. But by the end results, and by the acceptance of the people, the connections I made, I would say it was worthwhile. I just so regrets that my addiction destroyed my chances. Yes it was my addiction that destroyed my chances, not my "leap of faith". Edited February 26 by LostRiver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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