Nico Indigo

Congrats Youcandothis, Icandothis, Wecandothis, Share all the good news you want, I'll take it and bounce back that joy right at you ! People on this forum are really inspiring me ♥♥♥

Oh yeah, most def. I believe human beings seek meaning before anything and contribution is the biggest source meaning there is imo.

oh and btw, thank you for that!! It's nice to see i'm not alone in here! hahaha You guys are great, I really like reading your journals ♥

Thanks man, it's early after my most recent relapse period during the pandemic but I officialy stopped gaming 12 years ago. LoL I must have relaped about half a dozen times since. Growth is unlimited though. Anywayz, day 11, had an amazing day. Nature, sex and community. High vibes Tonight was kinda boring though. My diner was cancelled so I was home alone and I craved a bit. I managed. Now I have this nasty headache. I'm going to bed. Peace

Day 10! I like this number. Makes me happy! Life just gets better when you live it, here and now, not lost in your head in some virtual world. Got lots of shit done today at work. I slowed down tonight. Took care of little things like eating well, cleaning and putting down some ads for the computers I'm selling. Spent some time chatting with friends and planning out my week-end. Tomorow is going to be awesome! Now I'm just going to play some flute and meditate. Time to get away from the screens to relax before sleep. Going to snowshoe tomorowwww morning in the woods with my friend. I miss the fresh air. Been inside all week. That's it Love you Peace

day 9!! No games no craves My focus today has really been to love myself and treat myself with kindness even though sometimes I feel tired and bummed out and don't want to do anything. My true worth doesn't depend on what I do, but who I am. That's it Peace

Good job mate!

least likely to get 8 hours of sleep and wake up early

Day 7 and 8 I'm on fire. I put some effort into my business to get myself known. I was waiting for the pandemic to end but apparently it just won't fucking go away so... Might as well find a way to make my business work in spite of it. Steady with cold showers, I'm proud of that. I skipped meditation though. I really want to be disciplined with that. I also spent a little too much time on the computer last night watching youtube videos. I went to bed late because of it. I still feel pretty satisfied with myself. I'm already making tons of progress. Tonight I'm gonna go to bed earlier to make sure I get plenty sleep. Overall good days. Got pissed off though when our governement announed they were considering implementing a tax for non-vaccinated people. Shits going crazy here full 1984 style. Meh, I'm above all that nonsense. My light will shine through this darkness, this is just a spectacle. Good night Peace

The myth, the man, the legend!! hahaha Hey Cam!! I'm finally here after all these years of being friends on Facebook! Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement. I'm doing great so far. Didn't have time to write on day 6... Another day another dolla. Day 6 was a success. I feel like I'm more commited than ever now that I'm part of this forum. It makes me even more accountable. I want to be 100% transparent here. It makes me think twice before going back to gaming. I didn't crave at all today, didn't have time to. I feel like eeverything is opening up now that I'm not spending so much time on the computer. The problem I'm having is wanting to do too many things. lol. I gotta find a way to make priorities. What a great community of people here. Such beautiful human beings. I hope one day to pay it forward. Everyone here is inspiring me. Peace

Is it Day 5 already? Bro... NICE! I haven't gamed in 5 days! I craved a bit tonight though. Then I went and watched a video my friend posted it went away, I felt motivated by what she had said. She was talking about taking our power back by focusion on who you are, what you want, and to go create that instead of fighting or resisting something you don't want. I'm analzing my craving and it's very hard to tell why exactly I feel like playing. Today it happened as I felt joy. It's like my brain associates joy with games: "You're happy? Let's plaaaay!" Sorta.. But I also belive that like any human or even any mamal, I have the need to play. It doesn't mean to play video games, but just to play, like a child, like a dog or a cat... The problem is that my brain thinks that video games are the ultimate solution, the preferable way of meeting that need to play. Nothing feels as readily available and satisfying when I'm sitting at home. I know this is just a part of me, the real me knows that gaming isn't necessary to express anbd care for that playfulness. Dancing is something that comes to mind as an alternative solution. Put some music on and just let it go. Lately, playing with my friends huskies outside in the snow has also been something that really seemed to meet that need as well. I plan on working on my musical skills. Maybe music could do it to, but it's gonna take some time before I start getting good and really enjoy myself. Good night, epic success, im proud of me Peace

Hey, me again... I went back and read your back story and the first page of your journal. I felt like the questions I had asked could be answered if I would just read. I thought it was kinda disrespectful to ask you those questions without reading first. I realize that what I needed was just "connection"...connecting with you. Anyhow. Wow. I feel deeply touched by your story, the little I know so far. I cried. I see so much of myself in you. I was diagnosed as a "gifted" child when I was 4 years old. I think you are too. You have the profile of a "high potential individual". So yeah, I can relate to your struggle (from 2018 anyway lol). Ima try to keep reading. The urge to do something meaningful, the anger, the stress, the being burnt out from work, the relapse, the depression, lying in bed suffering, the being hard of myself and then finding that loving voice inside. All of this, we share my brother. I'm so inspired to see your blossoming and the growth that we are all going through. It's so beautiful. It's like living again knowing what really matters. I wish you all the better Matt. See you around Peace

Hey! i'm a new member, sort of, even though I've been following Cam and game quitters for years. I just wanted to say I'm impressed by this 101 page journal! Must have been quite a journey for you. How has it been? Was it hard? Did you relapse? And how are you feeling now that you stopped?

Day 4: Success! Had a great day outdoors. Nature carries high vibes. However, I'm feeling kinda sad and lonely tonight. Fuck this covid bullshit man, and this stupid curfew. Plus there's this girl I really like but it's not reciprocal. Maaaan, when am I gonna find her. I don't know why exactly, but it hurts my self-esteem. Gonna try to meditate and then go to bed early, maybe the sadness will dissipate. Peace

Keep it up man! 💪

I resisted! I'm so proud of myself! I almost gave in. I was high last night. I smoked pot. I hadn't smoked in a while and I think it makes me crave gaming even more. No more smoking.

OMG we have a 10pm covid curfew. Now I'm home alone it's friday night and I'm craving. 😩😩😩😩

Day 3 All goes well, no time to write. I'm going to the forest again with the dogs. Best medicine ever. Peace.

Day 2: Just got home from work. Great day, stayed on track. Went to sleep early last night. Slept plenty. Felt refreshed in the morning. Took a cold shower and had a great meal before going to work. I'm feeling generally happy. Not gaming makes me feel better about myself. I feel I like I have plenty of time to do what I wanna do. No cravings so far, which is good. Tonight I plan on going to walk in the forest with my friend and her dog. It's nice outside, not too cold. There really isn't much to say. I'm waiting for this girl to come pick up my gaming tv that I just sold. I can't wait to get that bread to buy more flutes. I need to stay disciplined and make sure I meditate tonight. I really wanna do this 8 weeks challenge of 15mins a day at least. See you tomorow. Peace

I think Amphibian's answer is perfect. The problem with me is that I often swap video games for another addiction... Youtube, social media, Netflix, etc... I think the key to is to stay away from the screen as much as possible, unless it's for work or educationnal purposes. I don't watch movies or TV shows anymore, unless it's part of a social activity. You should try to eliminate all the gaming related content from your Youtube feed. I suggest you make another account and only sub to channels that are aligned with your new life.

First day. Oh boy. Actually it's more like my 30th first day. I haven't bought Respawn but I think I will. It might help, and it's a way to give back to Cam and the community. I'm asking myself about the purpose of this journal. Is it really gonna help me? Hmmm. I'm willing to try and see where it takes me. I feel like treating this as a tool to sort out my feelings. I'd like to better know myself. I'd like to be more conscious of how I feel and what need I'm trying to meet whenever I get urges to game. It's so subtle. It's been achored in me for so long that sometimes I don't even know why I want to sit and play. Anyhow, today was a such a mess at work. I got there late because I went to bed at 3am last night. My sleep schedule was out of control for the past couple of days. So I woke up shit faced. Took a cold shower (was my second day). That thing sucks but it's also pretty fucking great. Thank you Whim Hoff! Even though I'm just starting with 15-20 seconds, it feels refreshing and it boosts my self-esteem because I have the impression of doing something good for myself. Imma keep doing it everyday. I haven't had any thoughts about gaming today. However, it usually starts when I get home from work. Which is now. I decided I'd come here instead instead of logging in. This is the toughest part of the day for me. So here I am...I'm thinking that a little game could be nice. But why??? What am I actually feeling right now? I definitely feel tired, but I also feel happy and calm. So what need am I trying to meet by playing? What do I really need now............... I need FUN, pleasure, I need to play! I feel like being creative and free. Being stuck at work all day I wanna enjoy the rest of my day by doing something I love to do, something I choose to do, not something I have to do. So what could I do instead of playing video games? My friend told me she'd like to go walk her dog. She can't get out because she's sick with Covid. That'd be fun! I could run and play with the dog! I love animals, they bring me closer to my heart. I have so much to say to this journal. So much to say to myself. It feels good to actually take time for me, for the real me. My gaming problem, I realize, is also about avoiding things I'm scared of. I'm actually really good at the games I play, so it's safe, I feel empowered for a bit. The problem is that it doesn't last. It actually hurts my self-esteem in the long term. I feel ashamed sometimes when I play too much and I get depressed. I cut myself from other people, from the relationships I care about and want to develop. I want to truly love myself, but It's hard when I feel disconnected from who I am because I'm messed up from gaming so much. I sincerely believe that everything is connected in the universe, that everything is one. I share that divine light of consciousness. I have so much beauty and power inside of me, all humans do. It's time I let it out and trust myself, trust life. I've seen what it is to really live and truly be who I am. I've grown so much in the past 12 years, especially in the last 4 months. And yet, I sometimes feel terrified of failure and stressed out when I'm about to step out of my comfort zone. I get stuck on the blank page, wanting everything to be perfect. So much healing and growth to do. The only way out is self-love. I need to hold myself in a space of love and non-judgement -- welcoming everything that comes, and treat all these parts of me like hurt children knocking on my front door. So I choose to follow my heart, listen to my deepest self and move foward despite the fear. I choose to treat myself with kindness and patience. I know I need to fill up my time with other activities to make sure I don't fall back to video games. Here are the things I want to either start doing or keep doing: -Meditation and breathwork at least once a day -Cold shower at least 5 times a week -Get back to the gym, 3-5 times a week (5 times once I get back in rhythm) -Kickboxing? (huge step out of comfort zone -- not sure if I'll do that yet, but I've been thinking about it) -Music: keep working on my native american flute, learn piano and music theory -Youtube channel: videos on spirituality and other things -Outdooring: cross-country skiing, skating, snow shoe... -Prep a workshop on empathy and conscious communication aka. NVC -Work on my computer repair business -Read Man, that's a lot of things. No wonder I'm stressed out and want to game to escape all of this... I dunno what to do...I really want to do these things. One day at a time I guess. Maybe I could make a schedule, but I suck at following them. Meh That's it for today. I'm glad I took this time. Peace

Sup twin! 😄 Nice to meet you as well! Looking forward to hear more from you. I'll be looking for your posts. As for me, I'm about to post my first journal entry. Cya out there!

Hi Luny, I'm just here to show support and offer my ear if you want to talk. I'm following your journal, I love reading you. Hanhg in there! P.S. deleting your account is also what I'd suggest you do. It's what I did. I even got my account banned in Smite and LOL.

Hi fam, I'm Nico from Québec Canada. I'm 34 and my main language is french. Hardcore gamer since I was 12. Decided to quit around 12 years ago after what I could call a spiritual awakening that followed a deep depression and dark night of the soul. I've been following Cam for at least 7-8 years now on Youtube and Facebook. So wtf am I doing here after so friggin long? Well, I still haven't fucking stopped gaming. It's been on and off for around 12 years now. I guess I'm here today because I WANNA LIVE MY BEST LIFE and because I'm looking for a way to truly motivate and engage myself into this life, my REAL life. I want to invest my time into things that really nourish me. I feel like gaming is holding me back from becoming who I am and manifesting my full potential. So I'm looking for your support. I'm looking to get inspired by your succes and your failures. I also want to contribute to other people's journey by offering my experience and love. Maybe helping others will help me stay commited. So here I am, after I stopped gaming about 20 times in the past decade. Is this one for real? I'm writting this at 0:01. The first minute of my new life? By the way, I've grown A LOT in those last 12 years. I've had long stretches of not gaming that paid off big time. I've also had periods of relapses where I wanted to kill myself. Periods that thought me what I really wanted with my life. I've also had periods of not-gaming that were just as meaningless, watching tv shows, movies, and overall spending just as much time in front of the screen wasting my precious time away. What I want to do now is really invest my time and energy into things that make me vibrate, that make me love my life and feel like I'm truly following my heart's calling. Are you with me? Let's freakin go!

Hi/Salut Patrick, I've read most of your journal and it's really inspiring. I see a lot of myself in you and struggle with comparable challenges. Thank you for taking the time to do this, for you and for us. You've helped me realize some of the "cognitivo-emotional" patterns I have. You seem like a very intelligent person. Keep going and I'm sure you'll find a way to live a very meaningful and happy life. By the way, this is my first post ever on this forum.