Shonnasen The Light

Is there a connection between sexual health and digital entertainment ? Are there norms that we take for granted ? Both for male sexuality and video games. Example: *Men shouldn't express certain feelings *Sex / video game is a performance; the result is the measure of fulfillment in life *A man's man stick should always be hard with erection during sex / A person ' s worth can only be seen in a video game's progress and collection .....

That' s a good point. Also in noisy office places, too. I think it's better to use arm signs instead of yaping like angry all the time 😂 There are no free groups out there to practice by doing it ? I think the best way to learn is not sitting in classrooms, but by moving my arms out there, comunicating live, like volunteering in a disabled charity or something ?

Wow cool. the sign movement for baby ones are different from the adult ones ? That's complicated ? My dad and me could learn some together. He is hard of hearing, but too proud to admit any weaknesses and ask for help. ahhhh the tough fathers......

That's great. I am reading Calnegie's "How to win friends..." haha. I probably will be in dating group activities in the future, with all sorts of men and women. I like pretty women, with intelligence 😊

So. Did you read "The obstacle is the way" ? that white book in your photo. I heard it is a good one. Do you recommend it ?

That must be a painful , frustrating feeling. For any parents. I think the best way is to look at YOURSELF first. I agree with the idea "to change others, change thy self first. Become the change. Then the others will follow. Or leave." children will not leave parents forever, unless something serious is happening. ONLY trying to change others without changing the self is the common way of avoiding responsibility. Because you want to get good image for yourself, from your child's good behavior, don't you ? Are you willing to sacrifice for your child ? humans are all selfish. The goal is to Eventually change others, BUT to get there, the best way is to change THE SELF.....Wa ?? !! 😵‍💫😵🤮 Reading books help. I recommend: 1. the road less traveled. look at the parenting topics 2. seven habits of highly effective people. look at "the first habit“ ， or "paradigm shift" and the author's own problem with his child. Oh, I am struggling, too. No hard feelings ?

good luck, bro. Let's change together 😇

Hey, what's the meaning of these pics that make me drool, huh ?! 😁 Just kidding. You try to lose weight from those greasy sauce & salty fries ? I am trying to gain weight. I think I am under weight, you might call it anorexia, but a less horrified version.

There is no sensitive information there being at risk for the account if it stays there, right ? I could not delete my Blizzard software on my PC. I never thought about deleting my accounts. They are still there, they wouldn't use those to do some nasty stuff, do they ?

flip phones are really cool. I like them. They are less distracting. Don't you think we are becoming slaves of technology ? not the master anymore~ Ever heard of the song "Hotel California" from Eagles ? - "we are prisoners of our own device" less entertainment means more fulfilled life. That's a very hard thing to accomplish, for most average people, including me. Sometimes I think, "Oh, no freaking way ! I am going to give up my hard-earned, max -level monsters , or characters, or whatever ?!!"......In a few years, I might not be able to remember any of that, if I have a real life. That's where I belong..... looking at real faces, holding hands with a real beautiful girl, both physically and spiritually,feeling her warmth through the skin, appreciating the wonder of the universe ~~

I think it does not need to be a specific narrowed-down thing. I think it does not even need to be a video games group. It can just be an addiction group, like Alcoholic Anonymous , or Sex Addict Anonymous....the messages are all the same: make a positive change, forget the old habits, learn new habits and meet with people who care. I am doing this with no face-to-face, but only internet supportgroups like this forum, it's going ok. Good luck. you can talk to me if you want to. We can start from e-mails. Anyone is welcome, but I don't respond to negative messages. My e-mail: gui-tong-wan@hotmail.com

Yes. Totally agreed. I think games are one and the same as any other addictions, from heroin to hamburgers, promiscuity, credit card over spending, procrastination.... The idea is the same: using easy rewards or repeating old habits to avoid tough but positive changes

Agreed. Be the master, be the controller, not the one being controlled. Regret is a lack of game substitute and fear of replacing. It is the unknown.

I think you replied pretty fast. I started to make a habit of checking this forum as a priority in the morning. I have not find a face to face support group yet. Work and social situations are pretty tough, right ? I am getting used to my new job now and facing lots of changes. So good luck to both of us ~

This is an interesting story. A bit long, but I read it. I think like this kind of conflict in this fandom story, it is everywhere in life. I read it on a book says life is a never-ending process of conflicts and decisions to solve them, and it is also the only way to happiness... ... That would be some hard stuff to think about, right ?

Hi, friend. I am grateful for tasty food, too. And of course, I am grateful for my Mother, as well ^_^ What's "spill my brain vomit ..." ? You do some creative stuff on your computer ?

Oh, I had the same thing. I was so tried from the effort when starting the new habit of deep thinking. Thinking carefully before doing anything I might regret later. things like playing again. I still keep trying everyday. I try to take naps when I can, too. And relaxing breaks. So how is it going for you ?

Video game music is a very good idea. I listen to them, too. Those Japanese music are so stylish; Final Fantasy, Gran Turismo, Persona are the ones among my favorite musics.

That sounds like serious effort, but I bet it's worth it.

What you (BooksandTrees) mean is - when there is craving, pause, do some analysis, figure out which thing (1 or several from the HALTE) caused it, then, act to change it. Am I understanding this right ? I think that works. Only for people who can change. I like what Stephen R. Covey siad - 'you have the freedom to choose, in any situation' and ' our old habit powerfully influence us, but, we are not determined by it'. we are grown ups. We do not need games with pretty pics to depend on. We can do much better than that ! We all have will power potential ! It's another type of muscle ! That's what Kelly Mcgonial said. She wrote <the willpower instinct> . I like her.

Hi, IlikeCookies, I have the same thing going on. Like you, I feel bad about myself, then I keep on playing too much. I think that is very common, not just for gamers, also anyone who is having trouble on discipline; it could be drugs, junk food, sex, money … sometimes after playing games for a while, I feel that ' it's already like this, so it's ok, go wild, just for the night, though. Just for tonight.' And the next day, I get up around 2pm, all my other plans are disrupted. I blame myself - guilt, hate, punishment, isolation, worthlessness ... I inflict a second round of damage on myself, after the damadg of gaming. How destructive that is. You asked what to do. I think that I do not have an answer to that. I think that is part of the process. I do not know where you are at. My guess is that you somehow want to quit, and are looking for advice. Or you are just in the process of thinking whether you should quit or not. I think only one self can know what he/she want. But good luck. I read lots of books about this. '7 habits for highly effective people' , 'feel the fear and do it anyway' , 'the road less traveled' , I think these books can open your mind and find out more about your strategies. What I take from it is - gaming is a habit poeple developed when very young. they kept doing it because of fear. Fear of change. People either chose to avoid or not allowed to do other more meaningful things. It is a choice, by the self. I am struggling still, I think it is the same for the ones already quit, like Cam. He struggles to maintain the discipline. I hope you can get better. Please don't hate yourself. That is for myself, too. It's a hard, hard responsibility.

2021, Sep 27 events: After an over-playing for 2 days, now it's the 4th day. I am back to discipline mode and normal sleeping schedule and activities. The process is hard, there are a lot things to remeber; I can be certain that I do not want to relapse, again. I am not as hopeless as before. That is good stuff to look forward to , and I recover fatser now. I think I just need to start believeing that I can do this; IT IS POSSIBLE; and I will , and I AM ABLE to control my addictions, and get other things I want I am gratiful for: - Les Brown. He gave me the things I can say to myself every morning to start my day with a holy shiled that can carry me through tough times - my work out equipments. They help me release tension when I am uneasy, when I forgot to breath - My caring and naging parents. As always. I love you sometimes, I hate you sometimes, but the love is what counts, it is unconditional. Ha ha.

You mentioned seeking approval from parents. I find that resonating wiht me since my situation is very similar. I think: my parent did not have dreams, so they rely on my success fot them to gain self satisfaction, because that's the only way they know to get validation for their purpose. They are not aware that happiness need to be somthing they can keep doing by themselves. I accept them for that, and it is like they are my children sometimes; my hapiness will make them happy, which is the best gift parents can give to thier children. Which means: I now have one more reason to controll my addictions. A psychologist named Gabor (on youtube) said childhood has a significant link to addiction. I believe it's ture, which leads to acceptance and forgivness for parents and more focus on self-improvement. Like you, I am also working on my "dream list". I list my dreams, the things I need to do and avoid, and I look at them, meditate, and say them out loud, first thing in the morning. It's good to have dogs and cats around. They probably will make you less lonely when having urges for games ? But I imagine we all have moments of being alone. I think that's where the trails begin. Hang in there, comrade.

Good day Gundham. Happy birthday, first of all. I think it's wonderful you shared this jounal with a close family. How does that feel ? How did that family member react after seeing the jounal ? How long does it take for that family member to start to accept you on this issue ?