NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
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TheNewMe2.0
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Everything posted by TheNewMe2.0
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Those are pretty serious symptoms you're describing. If you get like that then maybe abstinence is the only way to help yourself live a normalish life. I find life is really difficult even off games and substances but on games and substances it's nearly impossible. Definitely more difficult. And even less enjoyable because you don't have as much self control and feel like you can't like trust yourself to follow through on things because you're just going to get sucked into the gaming again and blow everything off. Good luck.
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Positive: I did 40 mins of yoga yesterday So everything is going to heck. One of the new clients gave me chills that have lasted for three days and counting (very uncomfortable). I stopped seeing them I got off Bumble just getting rid of anything that's causing me any stress so that I can hopefully survive increasing my caseload to 25 a week successfully. Seeing six clients yesterday took it's toll. I was hurting at night getting chills and hot feeling sweating. It was very uncomfortable. But hopefully it gets better. There's a chance it will improve over time and not be permanent. The yoga made my skin feel softer, eat less and feel more able to chug water and maybe even not masturbate. So that's all good. This is like my only exercise is yoga and a little bit of weights now. God willing I'll be able to keep up with the yoga without injuries. This is my first week off risperdal we'll see how long it takes for the somnolence to subside. Still sleeping 13h. Got a dentist appt today and group sup so no clients. It's an easier day so yay for me. I'll get to chill some today. The antibiotics are working on my acne I just hope they have a lasting effect. I switched health insurance to Cigna because healthkeepers had almost no therapists in network on PT. Really miss walking and talking to clients on the phone. That was so nice when I got to do that. Ah. So I guess with my free time I'll watch the Flash and get my yoga and deadlifting in for the day. I'm probably gonna wait about 2 weeks or more before trying out my knee on a treadmill. This could last months before the knee is able to handle walking again. But when it can I am thinking about getting a treadmill if after trying treadmills my knee doesn't hurt after 10k on one. I smiled at Flash doll I accomplished getting thru the night I am grateful for my job, flash doll, getting through things, god, water, chugging, knee, yoga, deadlift and Cam. God bless
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@RealworlderI don't know if there's something I can do to fix her energy. I tried to just tough it out for a week but it was making me feel like uncomfortable 24/7 and I didn't want to feel like I was dead inside anymore. I hope you're right and there is someone that I can meet that I won't experience negative symptoms with. The only person I have that relationship with now is my mom. Everyone else I pretty much feel at least a little uncomfortable with. I've been on bumble for like 2 days I'm probably gonna get off by the end of the week. But that means I'll be back to having like no avenues for meeting girls. Unless the Asians pair me up with someone again. It's really too bad because me and xiao really both seemed to be trying to make it work. And we were both attracted to each other. Eh. What're you gonna do. Maybe my energy disorder will get better and I can hit her up again in the far future Idk. Yeah no more visiting that client. The med and yoga are great but they don't burn enough calories. I was losing weight when I was walking. I'm gonna try using a treadmill on Sunday and see if my knee holds up. Then maybe get an at home treadmill and get back to losing weight. Positive: lots of work today I have 6 sessions today which is my current max for a day. That's a lot of chillling and talking. But I hope it all goes well enough. I'll be making good money on this day if everyone shows up for session. I'm kind of laid up on the couch for at least this week. No walking for me. Just resting. I can still do yoga and weights but Idk I miss the feeling I would get from walking a long distance. Ah. Well maybe I can get to 45 minutes yoga today that'd be nice. I smiled at feeling a little better I accomplished doing yoga I am grateful for better, little, yoga, jesus, THS, bible, prov 31, horses, riding, grass, dirt, cushion God bless
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Positive: I survived yesterday. So two really messed up things happened yesterday. I realized we have fleas yet again from the same darn client giving them to me. And seeing a certain new client caused me to get severe chills all night and into today and I'm still getting chills as I write this. I feel all dried out and clammy and cold and tired. It's really awful and I'm gonna try to get him transferred. Also I'm gonna bug bomb and wash everything. And never go back to that clients house now that I'm not working with them anymore. I don't know what the heck is going on there but every time I go over I get fleas from their darn dog. I don't understand how they don't get bitten or are they getting bitten and jut not caring? My poor mom hurt her back again moving furniture for her business. On the upside I did 45 minnutes yoga and 44 meditation yesterday. Now that Im not walking due to a knee injury I'm gonna try for yoga everyday at least 30 minutes. And maybe 44 mins meditation too why not I have more time now that I'm not walking. TV as well more. I smiled at mom I accomplished making it thru the night I am grateful for mom, night, thru, god, suffering for a good cause, long term gain, transfer, training, money, job, God bless
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@RealworlderHehe I'm probably gonna give this relationship the axe. I feel dark energy from her and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I gave it a week and a date. That was more than enough to make a judgement on this. It's not gonna work. I don't think her energy is gonna get better. She had a lot of good things about her but I just can't deal with the bad energy. It was making me get all kinds of negative symptoms. Insomnia, acne, feeling cold and clammy, stressed all the time etc. Enh. Whatever. I'll just be happy to get away from her so I can calm down more. I've been getting bad intrusive thoughts about things. I'm gonna try to make some changes to like get rid of them. I dunno if I'll ever meet someone with my like inability to deal with most peoples energy problem. Positive: feeling better now I've pretty much decided to stop seeing this girl As you can read in my post above I'm not gonna keep seeing her probably. It's too bad I really wanted it to work out and tried my best to give it a chance. But I think it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe the Asians will send me more girls to try. But I don't feel like my chances are very good because of my people disorder. Which means I feel peoples energy and I don't like most of their energy so I just like can't be around most people even if there's like a mutual attraction and other positives between us. Which sucks and I thought maybe once I got off meds ti would be better. But it doesn't seem like that's the case. Now I'm off risperdal I literally feel no different aside from being a little more energetic. Really wish I could fix my energy problem but I guess I just have to submit myself to its whims. I don't have any other choice. To go against the grain and force myself to deal with the dark energy only makes me lose my mind and become unable to function pretty quickly. But God doesn't give you more than you can handle. So I guess he'll give me a life that's livable perhaps. I smiled at God I accomplished breathing I am grateful for God, the breath, ujayi breathing, breath of fire, pranayama, prana, good energy, love, light, healthy connection God bless
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Hey that's great. I've grown closer to my mom since quitting games. Maybe it'll happen for you too. Mm cake. I heard Soul was good and philosophical.
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Positive: I went on a date and didn't die Okay so I mean I felt kind of uncomfortable because of the dark energy. And that caused me to sleep not as well. But I still slept. And I guess I had a decent time. It was kind of enjoyable to see her in some ways. We walked 15k and ate some Japanese food which was pretty tasty although it gave me a minor stomach ache this morning. Maybe the chicken was a little undercooked Idk. We actually talked about serious stuff some at the end of the date she started asking about my religion and I asked about her previous relationships. It was kind of intense for me. But I think it's good to like understand and get that stuff out in the open early on so you don't get attached to someone who was just gonna leave because you weren't the right religion or have the same flaws as their ex or whatever. She seems to be interested in me. She wanted to stay out longer when I tried to leave early hehe. And she was relatively nice so I guess I might go on a second date. I feel a slight obligation to give it a try because our parents like brought us together at our first meeting so it's kind of like arranged I guess. And you don't get that many of those set ups very often around here. I smiled at the nice rug I accomplished substituting sandwich meat in my breakfast sando I am grateful for nice rug, blue, flowers, pots, vases, leaves, reeds, curly things, turkey, first dates God bless
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That's good you're getting along better with your family. I just memorized a line that goes 'My son keep the commandment of your father and forsake not the law of thy mother.'
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@RealworlderYa maybe I'll be tv watching with her soon. No sleep improvements yet. Though I feel a little stronger when I workout. I want to lose like 15 lbs and get down to 170 or 165 even. I despise ruminating on things. I keep trying to practice mindfulness to like get rid of the thoughts. I'm still trying with her. We texted like everyday since meeting it's been a bit much for me. But not like totally unbearable to where I want to stop. I got this chair that's like a piece of a sectional couch they weren't using. It's just a chair no arms or reclining but it's leather and it's comfy. Positive: It's Friday and I deadlifted 175 So that's good it's friday. I'm not going to do crap this weekend for work. I don't care let the emails pile up over the weekend I'm not answering till Monday. I deadlifted `175x5 yesterday even though I felt tired and like I didn't want to try. I tried anyways and actually did it. So I'll be attempting 185 next week hopefully. That would be cool because I haven't done that much weight since like 10 years ago in college. I know it's not super impressive powerlifting number but it's good for me. If I could get up to 225 I'd be very happy with that. Also my weight has gone down from 183-186 to 178. So I lost about 5 lbs since walking more and lowering my medication dose. I gained like 15 or so lbs when I got on this med so if I can lose 10 more that'd be great. Looking forward to finally being off risperdal in two days. Going on a date or hangout whatever with xiao tomorrow. I don't expect it to be comfortable. But I'm hopeful that once I get off risperdal my experience with her might start to improve. Here's hoping. I got editing to do for my mom. She's paying me well for it. It's just tedious work to like sift through 90 pages looking for errors. But whatever I could definitely use the money as I'm only getting 12 hours a week right now at my job. It's slowed down since I'm taking only adults but I still got two new clients last week so that's something. I hope I get at least 2 more clients next week or I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and see kids. Which would suck because I like adults only for therapy. Don't know how I'm going to deal with my own kids if I have them. I smiled at kids I accomplished graduating school I am grateful for kids, school, graduating, being done, coasting, new clients, more hours, more money, slow and steady and god God bless
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Positive: still working I guess I am starting supervision at work so that's good I can count that hour each week. I'm still waiting on my other sup to set up an appt and it's been like over a week waiting on her. So I'm kind of concerned that she's not gonna get around to it soon enough she's taking too long for me. It's not good. I'm still feeling super uncomfortable with Xiao (the girl I met). I'm gonna keep trying with ehr and see if it gets betteer but man these days have not been kind to me. Stressed and tired and some insomnia it sucks. Hope it gets better. I get this sort of 'anxiety' with a lot of new people I meet. I'm sticking it out a while because sometimes I feel the dark energy from them but it gets better over time or something happens with us and it improves. /like my old therapist who I thought might be evil but I asked her if she considered herself to be on the good side or the bad side and she said she felt like she was more good. And after that I felt comfortable with her. Maybe something like that will happen with xiao. God help me. I gotta take metamucil 4 scoops a day because of constipation. The constipation from the risperdal hasn't worn off yet. Can't wait till Sunday when I totally get off it. I'm hoping for some improvements soon after. GEtting a chair today I smiled at naruto I accomplished getting up I am grateful for naruo, getting up, mornings, mom, sunshine, new day, warmth, glow, effort, caring, good energy, God bless
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Work can be nuts I have some struggles there myself but do my best to make it work. Congrats on your relationship I'm glad it's going well. And that's awesome you've been off games so long. Over 2 years.
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@RealworlderTotally, watching shows with someone else makes it so much more enjoyable. I feel like I can watch for a lot longer. When I'm by myself I'm always getting up to exercise instead. Although that's probably a good thing. Yaeh I'll be off risperdal completely this sunday I'm hoping to see some sleep improvement. I may already be seeing weight loss, I think I'm down 5 lbs if the scale isn't malfunctioning. I hear organ meats are really healthy for you. I just never eat them, hehe. Yeah you're right about the job. I'll try not to worry too much about it. Virgo's can have a tendency to overthink and worry too much about stuff. It's not perfect but it may just work out fine anyways. Good to see you posting my friend.
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You're doing good, keep trying to quit and it will eventually come.
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Thank you. I'm sorry things didn't workout with your ex. That sounds pretty devastating. Doesn't sound like it'd be a good idea to let him back in. Keep on with your dreams, good luck. Sending you love right back.
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@RealworlderNo I haven't watched it yet. I was just gonna wait for it to come to crunchy roll and watch it all at once probably. My new friend likes it so maybe we'll just rewatch the whole thing together if she's down. Getting off the meds is going well so far. I just wish I could go faster but I'm at max speed. In three weeks I'll be off them completely. I'm a chicken and turkey person mostly. I'll usually only eat beef and pork when I go out. I'm hoping things get better once I'm off meds. Sleep, skin anxiety etc. That's good you're being more productive. I'm getting more hours at work too. Positive: just chugging through the week. Oh and getting off meds Yep another week starts. I'm finally earning hours so no more feeling like I'm wasting my time completely anyways. Yeah. I'm staying at this job till I'm licensed. Then I'll go get a job that makes a lot more money. But this job is giving me hours and it just wasn't worth it to switch jobs again in the hopes of gaining more money and risk not getting hours there because a lot of practices don't generate enough client leads. The one I'm at is generating a lot so I didn't want to let it go. I smiled at the flash I accomplished morning routine I am grateful for flash, routine, acne meds, getting off pills, superman, superpowers, fun, the cw, glass end table and gideons. God bless
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@RealworlderThanks man. I dunno if we'll get along well or what'll happen but time will tell. We talked about Attack on Titan. It was kind of cool. Yeah I'm finally earning hours towards my license. It's a big victory but I'm already concerning myself with earning 26 hours a week and like if I'm gonna make it ok there. Getting off my meds and seeing if that helps with my skin and stress and sleep levels. I guess as soon as we take one step we're just wired to look ahead to the next one. Once I'm licensed and have a high paying job I think I'll feel like I made it though. Same with having a wife and friends and I dunno being in better shape. I'll keep on trying. Positive: Getting hours My goal is to have 26 hours a week so I can count that and 15 ancillary hours for 41 hours a week towards my license. If I can maintain that rate of hours then I can get my license in 1.75 years. That would be good because people expect it to take about 2.25 years. The only drawback is I'll have to have 3 hours of supervision a week for at least a year of the residency. Those two individual hours will be a lot of talking about cases and counseling. I'm trying to find a way around it but I might just have to bite the bullet and do it. It's okay both my supervisors are pretty chill so I think I'll survive having to talk to them for an hour each a week. My mom's working again and she can be a real toxic jerk when she's stressed from work. Which was like my entire childhood. She's a much nicer person when she doesn't have to work. I dunno maybe I'll try to tell her she needs to be nice when she's stressed from work because she can tend to be mean when she's stressed from work. Yeah got a client in like 15 mins then I'm going to costco to look for turkey sandwich meat frozen food and raw chicken breast. I'm resolved to start cooking chicken stir fry and turkey pasta and curry at least like two dishes a week. I already got two leads for clients today. That's good because typically it's good if you get two leads a week. To already have two on Monday is doing great. Maybe I'll get more during the week too. I hope to build my caseload soon. I want to earn a decent wage while I'm doing my residency and then double it once I'm an LPC, get stable at a good paying job and then buy a house next to the job and set up shop for the long haul like 15+ years. Yep. Well that's really optimistic that the job will be good for that long but I can hope and if I want to at some point switch jobs for more money or a hopefully better work environment if it all goes to crap. I smiled at things going to crap I accomplished dealing with crap hitting the fan I am grateful for crap, fans, mom, pokemon, anime, attack on titan, yoga, new yoga mat coming, nike sb skate shoes, and resilience. God bless
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Hey welcome to the forums. I was addicted to D2 as well. But through this forum I've been able to stay off of games for over a year now. It's the longest streak I've had in my life since I started gaming when I was around 10. Now I'm 32. Things have been looking up for me for the most part in life. Doing better in my career, exercising, meditating having a spiritual practice. Even starting to meet people. Okay one person but that's a big deal for me as I only really talk to my mom and coworkers. Sounds like you're doing a good detox know that it just keeps getting better the longer you go.
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@Jason70Thanks. The new jobs more stressful but I guess it's worth it for all the benefits. The old job really didn't workout though. 1.75 years to go till I earn a license. Positive: I met a girl yesterday Well. I didn't get the best energy from her and probably caused a little acne which happens when I meet people often. But still I met a girl yesterday. Our parents set us up to meet. She was actually pretty nice and tried to like converse with me. She's cute. And we had a lot in common like a show and being introverts exercise meditating. I might try to hang out with her again. Hopefully the energy and the skin get better as I get off my medications. She's into like criminal minds psychology type shows. That sounds too scary for me. But she's also into anime so that's good. Maybe she'll watch my superhero shows with me. That'd be cool. Speaking of which I lowered my dose again today. One more week and I'll be totally off risperdal. Thank God. Then two more weeks after that and I'll be off the bupropion. Both of which I think aren't good for my skin. So I have some hope that my skin and disorders will get better once I'm off the meds. Really hope that it works out and I recover from this period of my life. Work is tiring and I feel more tired from working. Other than that and the small acne it causes so far it's okay. I like kind of enjoy working with people and trying to help them with their lives. I look forward to making the money of a 25 hour work week. I've got to schedule a lot of supervision to try to get the license done. Like 3 hours a week. So much. Ah. Oh well hopefully it goes okay. I smiled at a girl I accomplished eating yogurt I am grateful for girl, yogurt, sleep, sleeping in, headphones, earbuds, apple, wired, up arrow and forums God bless
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Positive: It's my last day of work at my old job Yay, it's here. I finished my two weeks notice and I'm making the transition out. Today will be the last session I have with my old company and I'll put in my paperwork, shred the client information sheets and that'll be the last I do with this company. Thank God. They gave me a good job to get started in the field but they totally didn't help me get hours towards my license. And the new boss was so uncool and put a ban on my earning of hours. I might leave them like a 1 star review on indeed for screwing me over for so long and the boss being a jerk to me. My supervisors were chill though. So maybe they could get two stars for the supervisors being chill. I'd just prefer to see the company go down a peg because they really don't do anyting to help their workers earn hours towards licensure or at least they didn't in my case. Which for the most part wasted about 1 year 8 months of my career life that I could've been earning hours. My new job is already earning me hours and I'll get on board with supervision next week hopefully. So I'm on track to getting my license within 1 year nine months or maybe even 1.5 years if I hustle for it. That'd be sweet. Get so much more money once I'm licensed. I smiled at last day I accomplished eating sandwich without cheese because we ran out and I didn't go to walmart yet I am grateful for last day, cheese, sandwich, walmart, walking distance, milk, greek yogurt with zero sugar, water, calcium chews, gummies, God bless
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It all sounds good to me. Glad your new job is going well.
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@DaBestThanks. It is better pay. I hope I get that higher paying job and they're nice to me. Otherwise I don't really want to go to the Christian interview. The guy seemed kind of mean over emails to me. And they didn't sound like they're gonna get me hours very quickly. But we have an interview scheduled for monday so I'm kind of dreading having to tell them no cause I'm not sure if I want to go. Positive: I guess my old jobs are ending? Yesterday I said bye to two old clients. It was kind of sad. One seemed to not really care that I was leaving which hurt. But the other one really seemd to care so that was kind of nice. They were a good family and treated me pretty well. The pay just wasn't so great is all so I'm looking for new jobs. There aren't a lot of jobs for Residents in Counseling on indeed. But when one pops up I have a good chance at getting an interview from what I've seen. So those high paying jobs for me are out there I guess it's just a matter of time before I can manage to find one. I'm hoping that I can just do outside supervision for my video calls and not have to work with my onsite supervisor for zoom calls. That would be ideal because I might get a new job soon and I want all my hours to be with my outside sup. She's good enough. If I leave the company and I have a bunch of hours counted with my inside sup then I might not get to keep those hours because he might not want to sign off on hours for someone who just left the company after a few months of working there. So yeah. Ah I lost my art pencil so that is too bad. hm. Oh yeah. I wanted to work with only adult individual clients. But all my bosses said to try all clients because I'm newish. But I did 1.5 years with boys and adolescents so I think I've done it long enough to know I Want to work with adults. I was stressed a lot about it last night and even got up in the middle of the night to tell my coworker I want 18 and up only from now on. I did a pros and cons list about it which made me feel much better about the decision I've made. I wish life were less stressful. But I guess this is work. I smiled at Naruto I accomplished drinking milk I am grateful for naruto, saske, sakura, hinata, rock lee, milk, drinking, water, air, nose God bless
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Hey welcome to the forums. Good job taking your first steps to quit this time around. It's always difficult but once you get some momentum it may become easier. Hope you find good things to replace gaming with. What're your hobbies?
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Positive: I guess that I'm ending my old job and starting a new one. Also I'm still interviewing. So these are the last two days of working my old job. Today I'm seeing two of my clients for the last session and saturday will be my last session with my old company. It's kind of sad to go because I had two sweet clients and we'd just chill and make that money every week. But I was having an extremely difficult time getting new clients at the old job because they were all unruly children that weren't down to chill and watch TV with me. So there weren't any hours to work there and one of my clients is leaving so. I really didn't have much of a job there. Plus they weren't approving me for hours. It was more chill than my new job though. I didn't stress or get acne from the stress of the job like I do now. My dr said the acne isn't even bad enough to get on more meds so I guess it's not that bad. But yeah at the old job I would sleep well and have totally clear skin and just like be chilled out all the time. It was much nicer. But it paid very little money. So I guess it's worth it to find a new job. The current job pays 67% more than the old job. And this job I'm interviewing for on Saturday pays 400% what the old job paid. It's like a really well paying job it seems. So I guess we'll hopefully get it and mvoe onto bigger and better things. God willing. I have two other interviews. But those are probably not going to pay much more than my current job. Which I would be reluctant to leave for a 25% pay bump when I've already built up a caseload of 10 clients. That can take like a whole month to do but I've made it in 2.5 weeks. So this company I'm with may not pay that well but they're getting me hours which I desperately need to move towards my license. I think I'd only be willing to change jobs for at least a 50% pay increase. Yeah that would probably be worth the hassle of changing jobs and rebuilding my caseload. I smiled at hours I accomplished seeing 4 clients yesterday my new record I am grateful for hours, 4 clients, record breaking, news, swimming, caps, goggles, earplugs, noseplugs, blankets God bless
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Positive: New insurance cost less and I'm interviewing for a very lucrative position Well. I don't know if the new insurance is going to be better. It's a gamble but Kaiser won't let me see a therapist more than once every two months. So I'm gonna try a new insurance company and see if I can get some more consistent therapy in. Also I'm interviewing for a job that pays like double what I'm earning now. So that would be amazing if I get it and the job works out. My only concern is that they might not be able to build up my case load quickly because they're charging more so maybe that turns clients away. I'll ask them about it. Hopefully they don't charge clients that much and will refer a ton of people to me to build up my caseload. Work is still causing me acne. Everyday I see a client I get new pimples on my face that evening. It sucks. I sometimes ask God to kill me now because I don't like living in a world where I get acne everytime I work. It's pretty awful. But in the bible I read 'If thou faint in the day of adversity thy strength is small.' So maybe I can just keep going through this somehow. It's also causing a lot of stress and I think it's making me feel exhausted and like I don't have as much energy to get out of bed in the morning. Hopefully getting off meds will counteract that soon. I'm two weeks away from getting off risperdal. Once that's gone maybe my sleep will improve. And two more weeks when I'm off bupropion it might help my skin. If I can do my job with less sleep, less stress and no acne then I'd feel like I'm set. Seems like maybe things will be ok with my sup too as he's been extra nice to me leading up to this meeting. I smiled at the trees I accomplished looking outside I am grateful for trees, outside, sky, brush, fence, windows, house, salt, sand, lines, zen garden, God bless
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Positive: We're having a meeting about incompatibility or convcerns with my sup Yeah. So I complained about my sup sending me angry emails and now we're having a meeting with him and our boss. So that's uh uncomfortable. Hopefully something good comes out of it. I don't really want to like bad mouth the guy. But I guess I kind of do have to say I felt uncomfortable from the emails I was getting like they were angry or something. I just wanted a new sup but they're doing a meeting instead. Maybe he'll be nicer after who knows. I just hope some good comes out of it all. I got work today. It'll probably still mess up my skin as I'm back on the meds. But within a month I'll be completely off and hopefully my skin will clear up and stay that way. Till then I will suffer with the acne. I don't even know if getting off the meds will cure it either is the concerning part. That would suck to be stuck with acne forever. Hope it gets better somehow. I asked my dr for meds but he isn't responding which sucks too. Hope he gets back to me. I smiled at dr I accomplished eating I am grateful for dr, food, spinach, water, thermos, heaters, lamps, stands, dressers, and heaven God bless
