TheNewMe2.0

Fun picture.

I'm happy to hear your therapy is going well. I'm starting with a new therapist in September and I hope it goes well too. It can really be helpful to have a good therapist in your corner. Basketball was causing me acne. Maybe I could try golfing too or soccer. Golf is too expensive for me to pick up I don't make much money. Still it's good to hear about your journeys.

@Icandothis Thank you very much. Maybe I can share sometimes. Day 269 NP 231 Np 222 Med 207 NF 107 Positive: new rugs nice. We got this gigantic rug. It's like 7'x12'. It's sitting here under my feet now. Making the room nice. It has blue designs and is kind of asian looking. Because it's so large it makes me feel like I'm in a grand setting. A nice place. I applied to work at Aldi on the weekends as a Cashier. Hopefully I get hired. I could use the extra money and something to do. Life: Ah, tv is not going well. I watched a show and it caused me really bad acne to watch it. I got like 5 new pimples from just one episode. This greatly deters my efforts to test and find new shows. But if I don't do this with tv then I'll be doing the same thing with books. Darn. I'm just screwed. Well. I'll carry on. Even though I've got a really bad lot so far as watching tv and reading books goes. My plan is still to try one show a day. Because I need shows to watch with other people. Maybe I can just watch 20 mins of a new show to test it. Not a whole episode. I smiled at my phone I accomplished finishing supervision. I am grateful for my phone, rug, supervisor, supervision, money, job, hours, Aldi, backpack, and laptop God bless Erik

I had a dream about gaming last night too. I tend to have those when it's too hot for some reason. Good to see you aren't bothered by it.

I remember feeling pumped and full of energy. That was before meds. I hope I feel that way again some day. Hope it all goes well with your work.

Sending you love. I hope your chemo goes well. It's a lot to endure, but you'll get better and be done with it eventually.

I love your optimism. Glad you had a good time golfing. I think it can be a fun sport and very social.

@Icandothis Hey, sure I'll see what I can do. Thanks for your support. I hope everything is going as well as it can on your end. Be Good to Me I'm not sad today. I think it's because I slept better than before. I don't like it when my mind is so down it army crawls across the wood floor. I want love and happiness all the time but it's a long hard road to find it. Still I search them one by one. I keep on living. Because you can't win if you aren't alive. So, here I am and maybe some day we will be together. In love, holding hands. Unashamed of what we have. And somehow we get along with each other. We accept and work with us. Day 268 NP 230 Np 221 Med 206 NF 106 Positive: maybe getting a bicycle today Well. I'm thinking about getting a bicycle because I have to ride around forty minutes with my client twice a week and it's heck using their not so good bike they let me use. Bikes are so expensive to fix. Gah. I hope it just rides well for years with no problems. I figure the tube on the wheels will need changing every so often though. That'd be great if I could just ride it for a couple years without having to get repairs on it though. Yeah. Then it'd be worth it and I could even afford repairs on the bike at that point. Anyways after my 1130am meeting I'll go checkout the bike shop. Then see my client at 3pm. Life: I'm pretty sure I'm going to cut ties with my father. I just get a bad feeling every time we talk. I feel like I'm being made into a worse person and start acting like a jerk after our conversations. I don't like being a jerk especially to my mom who is pretty much the only person I care about being nice to. So I'm willing to cut off my dad to protect my relationship with my mom. He's not going to like it as my sister also cut him off. He will have no contact with either of his kids after today. But I think it's the best thing I can do for myself. Everyone has a right to stay or leave relationships. I feel bad and kind of scared. But I honestly don't have any better ideas for us. I just don't want to continue talking to him. I've given it a lot of tries, maybe four or five conversations with him that went consistently poorly. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm going to text him something like, "I don't want to talk anymore for now. I'm sorry." I smiled at my post I accomplished making breakfast I am grateful for Metamucil, my post, breakfast, dad, mom, bike, bike shop, client, today and meetings. God bless Erik

Good luck golfing, hope you have fun.

You could sell your gaming stuff. Welcome to the forums.

Day 267 NP 229 Np 220 Med 205 NF 105 Positive: 3 days away from 9 months Well. Say what you will about me. At least I keep off the games. Nine months is coming up. I don't live a perfect life. But I live one I think is good enough. I'm grateful to have made it this far and hope to continue going on game quitting. I've been writing haiku's lately. It's been okay. I just got tired of writing in paragraph form. It felt like I was just journaling not writing poems. Even if it was good journaling. So I suppose I feel more like it's poetry with the haiku format. I guess I could show my mom my poems. It's kind of awkward having people know what you think about and write about. But there isn't anything too suspect in there. I totally forgot about my meeting on Thursday and my coworkers reminded me. That's not good. I'll try to keep all my meetings for the week on my phone alarms so I don't miss them. I smiled at opportunity I accomplished fire training safety I am grateful for opportunity to find new shows, food, mom, haiku, fire training, staying game free, cookies, ice cream, slippers, and lamps. God bless Erik

I feel better doing nofap too. You were probably experiencing blue balls.

Day 265 NP 228 Np 219 Med 204 NF 104 Positive: I figured out how to test shows without them causing me insomnia or acne much. So, I figured out that all I have to do is watch just one or two episodes of a show to test it. If I watch a lot like 5 episodes then I can get insomnia the whole night. If it's just a couple episodes then if it doesn't workout (which most don't) then it won't cause me much insomnia or acne. I'll be okay. So here's to testing another 100 shows. May they all be winners. I'd really like to switch into VRV and leave Netflix behind. But, my client has Netflix and I want to find shows we can watch together. So I guess I'll stick with Netflix for the work. So far there are . . . maybe 7 shows I can watch? I'll have to count them all. I smiled at my slippers I accomplished finding a way to do harm reduction with show testing I am grateful for show testing, new shows, slippers, harm reduction, shows I can watch, clients, money, job, backpack and water bottle. God bless Erik

Day 264 NP 227 Np 218 Med 203 NF 103 Positive: I made a good breakfast and I'm lowering my meds. Breakfast was good. We have a lot of avocado to go through so I guess I can get used to eating avocado with my breakfast sandwiches. Lowering my meds is a good thing. I'll be having more energy and needing less sleep God willing. I'm pretty full with the additional avocado now though. I'm already thinking about eating my ice cream for the day. I'll see if I can put it off till after lunch. I managed to do 20 mins of yoga yesterday as planned. I didn't find time to practice Japanese though because it was too noisy. I'm on antibiotics for my toe pain. Hopefully it clears that up for me as we thought it might be an infection. Life: TV shows have been a huge bust for me lately. It's like I can't find anything to watch that doesn't cause me insomnia or acne. Watching the shows just causes me these symptoms and I don't think there's anything I can do about it. It sucks because it's so difficult to find something to watch with other people. And other people are like, "Why can't you just watch something that I want to watch with you?" They don't really understand how it causes me these issues. I didn't sleep well last night because I was trying out a show. I'll try out new shows today though. I'll keep trying till I find one then I'll watch it. I thought a bit about D2 today. I think because show watching is so hard it makes me feel like gaming would be easier to do. But I gotta keep the faith and not game. Find something else to do. Ugh I'm so limited. I'll try to hike. I smiled at my determination I accomplished taking meds. I am grateful for my determination, meds, lowering meds, GQ, faith, the few things I can do, the few shows I can watch, my working hands and body, my home gym and the view from my couch. God bless Erik

Good for you taking a step away from the gaming. Sorry that you're not hanging with friends though.

Darn covid. It did help me with my job and student loans though. Wearing a mask all the time is a chore.

Sorry about your parents. Everyone's parents let them down somehow. Sounds like you're doing the best you can to work with the situation though.

Day 263 NP 226 Np 217 Med 202 NF 102 Positive: Cathy's leaving soon. Soon Cathy will leave. Next Friday actually. Then it'll be quiet at home. No disturbances. I don't like Cathy very much really. I always feel tense around her. Not good energy. So I'll be looking forward to her leaving. And the natural energy balance will have been restored to Erik's home. Like I said I've been pretty low energy and just eating and watching tv. I guess it's alright for now. But I'm going to get back into exercising. Maybe I can get it done in the morning before I eat. But I've been just eating right away, sitting down to post here and then going in for tv. Blah. Gotta get some exercise in before tv. Otherwise it won't get done. Sadly I have to stop watching All American because it was causing me anxiety and acne. Cries. Life is tough for me sometimes. I can watch so few shows. Well, Roswell and vampire diaries are up. Hopefully they workout. Life: I might get a bike like a new one for 500$ from a bike shop. It's because I have nothing to do with my client and he likes biking around. So I figure if I got a bike and brought it to session. We could ride bikes all the time and it'd be good. Get some exercise, use up the time. Yep. Biking might be one solution to the work paradigm. I'm gonna try to get my 15 mins of yoga in today. Feeling slightly less tired than yesterday. I've been laying in bed for like 14 hours though. Screw basketball. It totally killed my energy levels for like a whole week. I smiled at some ceramic pots we have I accomplished making breakfast Wirth my turkey bacon 70% less fat than bacon I am grateful for ceramic pots, breakfast, turkey bacon, less fat, tv, yoga, my house, my neighborhood, Cathy leaving and my tv stand. God bless Erik

Welcome to GameQuitters. I hope you like it here and find the community supportive.

Good luck with your translating aspirations. It's good we're in our 20's and 30's we still have a lot of time to lead meaningful productive lives.

Day 262 NP 225 Np 216 Med 201 NF 101 Positive: We got groceries Yeah we went to Costco and Walmart and got all the groceries we needed. I got whole wheat bread from Walmart because Costco didn't have any. We got some 1% milk because my mom probably doesn't know to get the 2%. But I don't mind less fat will be fine with me. We have a bunch of brownies lingering in the fridge. It's difficult to not eat them. Because I feel like I want to help get rid of them already. We accidentally bought too many avocados. I'm talking about grocery shopping because honestly I'm just trying to say something that's positive in my life and that's fine. Groceries it is. I noticed I'm getting slightly more like my mom. I dunno if that's a positive, but maybe it is. I started saying 'grin and bear it' like she does. And 'you win some you lose some.' It's mom-isms. Life: I have been super tired lately because of basketball. I only played like a couple times in a week and suddenly I feel like I can't do anything but sit and watch tv. It's okay for now, but I want to get up off this couch and lift weights and do yoga like I usually do. So I'm avoiding basketball as much as possible now. 1 because it causes me acne and 2 because it causes me extreme fatigue. So yeah I'm going to chill until I feel like I have energy to lift again. I'm missing two lifting days this week. Something that hasn't happened in like many months. Bah humbug. I smiled at scrooge mcduck I accomplished posting I am grateful for scrooge, posting, funny stuff, all American the show, vampire diaries, book stand best, whole wheat bread, Costco, Walmart, and moms God bless Erik

Welcome to the forums. I know what it is to use gaming to escape. How the more you escape the further out of reach your real life becomes. It's like getting swept out to sea. It seems harmless at first and then you can barely see the shore. I think you've grabbed onto a life preserver though coming to this site. Keep posting and you'll be making strides on dry land in no time. Sounds like you're already moving towards building a better life than you were living. Good luck with your career and hobbies.

Good for you. I'm glad that her book has helped you. I think we can all relate to having sunk a lot of time into games that we can't get back. I could've started my career a lot earlier if I wasn't busy being addicted to substances and games. Oh well, doing the best I can now to get going with my career.

Day 261 NP 224 Np 215 Med 200 NF 100 Positive: Meditation at 200 and nofap at 100 days. That's a pretty long time with both of those things respectively. I had to take an early phone call for work today but I got my meditation in right after so I wouldn't miss it. That's 200 days with at least 10 minutes of meditation each day. I'm doing 14 mins now in the mornings. Nofap is going well too. I enjoy not getting aroused more than getting aroused now. I really like just being calm and not aroused at all. It makes me happier. I mean if I were married then it would be fine. But for now it's not really a useful feeling as it doesn't get satisfied. Life: I shaved my head. I think I might've already talked about this. But yeah I felt like it was messing up my skin to have hair so I shaved it. It's kind of weird having a shaved head. People notice it. But it feels pretty nice, breezy. I'm seeing off a client today. It'll be our last session most likely. I'm sad to see him go because we had built a good bond. But it's okay. All good things come to an end. I'm glad we'll have this time to say goodbye. My supervisor told me to apply astringent before basketball if it's giving me acne to play. So I guess I'll give it a try although I'm dubious as to what the results will be. I went on Venmo today to set up payments for my therapy supervision. I told them I want to use PayPal, instead because I don't like how Venmo is like social media. So we'll see if we can make due with PayPal. I smiled at gamequitters, still quitting games as I approach 9 months. I accomplished finishing my on paper work week. I am grateful for my old client who is leaving, gq, paperwork getting done, my clean skin, walking, sunshine, good weather, bicycles, my new rug, and Jesus. God bless Erik

Hey thank you for your well wishes. That's great you're finding new interests to partake in. I hope things go well with your taxes. Being able to work is important.