TheNewMe2.0

Positive: I got a new job interview. So that's cool. I got a job interview in addition to my new job. So I may have two new jobs to choose from when I get the chance to change jobs. I just hope Li comes through with the new job soon so I don't have to keep the other job waiting. I just want to start and give it a shot already. I'm tired of my current job. I'm tired of having to play board games with the kids. I don't like board games, but there's nothing else to do on rainy days like today. I'm not supposed to watch tv with them, but I have done it sometimes just because they refused to do anything else. It's a tough job for me right now. If only I loved board games and could do them comfortably then this job would be great. But I strongly dislike them as they cause me anxiety so it's no good. I hope the change comes soon and it doesn't rain anymore during my shifts until I change jobs. Once I change it won't matter if it rains. It's all Telehealth (video calls). That'll be nice I think because I don't have to do anything physical with clients like I do now and I can just sit and talk with them like normal therapy. And it'll be as many hours as I can work is what they said at Li's job. At the other job I'm not sure if it'll be full time or not I'll have to ask in my interview tomorrow. I hope that it doesn't rain today (50% chance). Then we can go biking instead of board games. I smiled at birds I accomplished making breakfast and doing dishes I am grateful for my blanket birds, breakfast, dishes, water, thermos, money I have, jobs, tv, board games and no rain. God bless Erik

Sending you life as the universe breathes it back into you.

Good luck passing your exams. I hope you're able to get done with as many as possible. A double major sounds cool. It would probably open more doors for employment later on.

My fatigue comes from taking risperdal for my schizoaffective disorder. I don't believe there's any curing it. I can't go off the meds or I become suicidal. So I'm stuck with it. Sounds like things might be looking up for your fatigue though so that's good. Don't beat yourself up over gaming. Quit when you're ready to. I found watching cams videos to help me want to quit.

Positive: I still might get a better new job. I'm hopeful that Li will get back to me on my new job and start me already. She said Monday I'd start and it's already Wednesday with no reply. My mom says to just be patient and not bug her. As bugging her about it before got me a sharp retort. So I guess I'll wait till next Monday to text her about it. Or maybe Saturday. Yeah, Monday or Saturday I'll text her about it. I hope the new job isn't too stressful. My current job is pretty tough. My kid's always saying mean things to me and offending me in some way. It's not fun to be around. His family is also trouble to be around as they have a lot of issues. They're not fun to be working with at all for now. Hopefully getting this bike will help because then I can just ride bikes with the kid and not have to do much else. Also maybe I'll ride it on trails and get in better shape/do something other than watch tv. I smiled at the day I accomplished getting up I am grateful for Li, new job, old job, getting honest, tv, biking, the day, getting up, Jesus and good health. God bless Erik

Yay, I'm happy golf and sleep are going well for you. Those are important things in your life.

Get into hiking. It's free.

@Icandothis Oh, thank you. I will, taking in nature is healing. I know what they mean when it's a cotton candy sky. It's all blue and pink like cotton candy. Here's a poem. Starting a new job: I am looking out at a new frontier. It is rocky and green with an abundance of new life. But, beware the tar pits loom. I wonder if I will end up on the grass of a merry green hill. Or will I drown in the hot merciless, stinky, black tar? Positive: I'm going to see a bike I'm interested in tomorrow. I saw a Motobecane trail bike with disc brakes and full suspension for $550 on craigslist. I'm planning to go there and offer 500. It's like a 50 minute drive. Maybe I could bargain over email before showing up. Well, whatever even if they say 550 firm I'd still probably do it. That's a good deal on a mountain bike with those specs. I don't really know that much about them. But I know I need a good bike to ride with my client and if I use it as a hobby I'll want something with suspension so I don't hurt my back going over bumps on trails. Trails are 20 and 30 minutes drive from me. I guess that's not too bad. I do have time to go on weekends so I Can keep the hobby alive. I still write poems. Not religiously everyday like I was. But somewhat regularly. I like the ones that are positive and optimistic. Or have a lot of metaphors and imagery in them. I write a lot of sad poems that aren't optimistic. I don't like those ones as much, but I guess that's just how I was feeling at the time. I smiled at @Icandothis I accomplished getting up I am grateful for possible new bike, icandothis, poems, my poems, green plants, blue skies, fingernails, nose, nose hair, breathing. God bless Erik

Those ribs sounded good. I've done some work with my own back pain. I found that superman holds and sumo deadlifts help me the most. I've heard working out your abs helps too.

I gotta try to figure out how to backup my MacBook. That's good advice. That must be awesome to be able to run that much. I can't really run, I get too tired usually even if I try. Trying out biking though which seems less tiring. I hope your race goes well. I think your ideas for moderating phone and inbox use are good and you'll have good results from executing them. Stay strong, juggling a lot of things is part of life sometimes.

Cool pictures. That's amazing you collected all those elderberries. I will try to live life and open my eyes. It's good to enjoy the little things. I've recently stopped eating sugary foods. We ran out of ice cream and my mom didn't seem inclined to buy more so, no more for now. maybe that reduces inflammation. I'm glad they've lowered your chemo doses. That sounds good. I pray your treatments all workout and get the job done.

An intervention sounds good. Maybe you can get him to go to rehab idk. There are video game rehabs. Are you planning an intervention with people that are close to him?

Oh I see. That's good that you're on the less severe end of the spectrum. Looks like a lot of people aren't able to walk or do other things. Do you like to take walks or go hiking? Or does your CP limit that too much?

Yeah finding hobbies is a process. Good luck with it. All I found off that list that I do is binge watching. This forum is probably a healthy safe way of blowing off steam. Much better I would say than actually punching someone or something.

Positive: My mom's down to give me 100$ for a new bike for my bday. Sweet. She'll probably chip in when the time comes. She was willing to today, but didn't because it was a bad deal on craigslist. I can't blame her. So we're going to wait until the bike shop gets new bikes in for sale in late September. I'm gonna call them tomorrow and ask if they know about what date they might be getting mountain bikes in that would fit me 19". Yep. Till then I'll keep checking CL for deals. Hopefully if I get a bike I'll actually take it out to the trails and go ride it. We almost bought a bike off CL that is 600 new for 500. But my mom was like that's a bad deal just keep looking and waiting. Seven deadly sins is good. Well. I'm still on the train to try the new job. No call back from my sup I'll call li. Li was supposed to set me up for training and to start today, but she hasn't called me or texted or anything. When I tried to check in with her she seemed annoyed that I Was checking in and was like "I'm on it." But it's past the deadline she set and now I'm just stuck waiting. I don't want to try checking in again and get snapped at. So . . . let's play the waiting game shall we. On a down note I was so stressed about my new job being stressful this morning I Felt briefly suicidal. That was kind of scary. Hope that doesn't happen again. I smiled at the sky I accomplished eating 4 sausages. I am grateful for the sky, sausages, mom for making food, new job train, life, living one day at a time, doing the best I can, 7 deadly sins show, fingers and moles. God bless Erik

Lookup lists of hobbies and things to do. That's what I did when I didn't know what to do with my free time. Now I lift weights, do yoga, go hiking, ride a bike, journal, write poetry, cook/eat and watch tv. I still feel like I don't do all that much, but with the new addition of hiking I feel like I'm doing enough things to be happy with it. Also I might start biking which is kind of exciting. I'm trying to decide if I want to buy a GT mountain bike from Dick's. I got 100$ for selling a free bike and I'll probably get $100 birthday money that I can use towards a new bike. Here's a list of hobbies I found: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hobbies It's pretty comprehensive. If you could find one thing to do on there that sticks I'd consider it a huge success. In my experience I tried a lot of hobbies before I found anything that I could continue with. Good luck.

Yes I believe that's what happens. You gotta complete 3 month chunks to get credited. Unless maybe they're chill and they report the hours for you it might workout actually. Your barefoot running sounds cool and like you've been making strides (pun intended). 5.8km is a good milestone. I just go for hikes no running. I might start biking on paved trails though.

Positive: I like my shirt. It's a light colored shirt that says Joshua tree on it. I like getting shirts that reference nature and parks. One of my few hobbies is going hiking so it's actually relevant if I get a nature shirt. I've been thinking about getting a bike so I can ride with my client better. My current one isn't functioning so well. The thing is I don't know if I'd use the bike outside of sessions with my client. The bike he lets me use is pretty junky. It can barely move up and down hills and it's very slow. The bike from a friend for free I got doesn't function much better. I was thinking of getting a nice 500$ mountain bike from dicks sporting goods. This is a tough decision. I think I might do it. Yeah I'll go to the bike trail and check them out I still don't know about a bike. I felt pretty uncomfortable riding my bike around yesterday and saying hi to people on it. Maybe if I just ride it and don't say hi to people it'll be okay? I had a wet dream last night after watching the seven deadly sins on Netflix. I guess the anime was too pervy for me. I'll still probably watch it. Just during the day time this time instead of at night. If it keeps happening I'll probably just cut it out . Although it would suck to lose a good show like that. I guess I'm tentatively selling my old bike and trying to buy a new one. I like having a shaved head because I don't collect hair in the drain or on the bathroom floor. I don't get sweaty hair. I smiled at an amazon prime car I accomplished not quitting on my new job yet I am grateful for the bike I just sold for 84$ profit, the new bike I'll get, food, birthday dinner with neighbors tonight, blanket, remotes, pencil, poetry, poems and myself for not popping pimples even when they hurt. God bless Erik

Welcome to the forums. You may be surprised to find that being on here and posting can really help you out a lot to quit gaming. It has for me for 9 months now. This is the longest I've been off games since I started them as a kid. So you can get off the games, get off the couch and get some exercise. Then get back on the couch and watch Netflix. I know what you mean with the grinding for temporary rewards. In Diablo II you only had 3 months to build up gear on ladder then it reset and you went to grind gear up again. I don't understand how something so bad was so addictive. But I just know I've got to stay off it because it makes me feel bad about myself and my life when I play that game. I become less of who I want to be and more miserable.

You might not be able to do anything to get him off the games aside from threatening to leave him if he doesn't quit. You're in a pretty bad spot from what it sounds like. You may be stuck in the same situation for years more to come too. It sounds like he's addicted and doesn't want to quit though. So. All you can do from my perspective is threaten to leave him if he doesn't quit gaming or keep going with things the way they have been going the past three years. If you do threaten and he does try to quit. I recommend telling him to quit totally cold turkey. No moderation attempts. Also tell him to join this forum. If it doesn't work then all you can do is actually leave or stay from what I understand about your options.

Yeah stay off games. It's a better life. I feel like I have to struggle with my own weakness every day. My old gaming laptop is in the office room next to where I sit and watch tv/write/live. I have to resist the urge to go play games again. Even after 9 months game free it's still a struggle. But I go through it each day and some days are better than others. It's all I can do to keep off the games. I know it's better for me to be off them so I keep staying away. I quit a lot of things as you can see in my signature. Maybe try to find something to do other than games and don't be hard on yourself for micro relapsing. Just keep trying to quit.

I dealt with severe depression for most of my life. It's only gotten better recently thanks to being put on anti-depressants. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better now. I hope you're able to quit gaming through your participation on this site. It's helped me quit for sure. Cam's videos on YouTube were helpful too. What's your disability you mentioned? I have schizoaffective disorder. That means I have tendencies toward depression and delusions that aren't real but are so distressing to me that I have contemplated suicide in the past. And basically I can't do most hobbies or even watch most shows because they cause me too much anxiety. Most of life is barred from me.

I get chronic fatigue too. I also just watch Netflix because everything else is too tiring. Even writing a paper journal or poetry can be too tiring sometimes too. I don't think doctors can do anything for me though. I hope things go well for you.

Good job staying strong. Getting some exercise is a great way to spend free time in a healthy way. Good luck break dancing.

Welcome to the forums. Good luck on your DD. Journaling is chill. It can be therapeutic to get your thoughts out on paper.