TheNewMe2.0

Positive: It's a five day work week. The weeks are kind of long. But I'm glad they're down to five days now. I'm already looking forward to the weekend even though it's only Tuesday. I'm trying to figure out a new route home from a client because the route gmaps sends me on is all covered in speed humps. And those hurt my back to go over so I want to avoid them. Blah I probably won't and will just try to go slow over them even if cars follow me and it's bothersome having tailgaters. I started getting used to buying lunch at 711. By the way if you load money onto the 711 app it may not work because it didn't for me or my client and we're stuck asking for cust service. I almost forgot to try to bring lunch, but I remembered today. I don't have much time to post MWF but I can kind of make up for it TThSS. Yesterday I came to the conclusion that if not for my tv shows I would definitely relapse on video games. I just don't have anything to do with my free time other than watch those shows. If not for them I'd be totally screwed and playing games again. Which would suck because then I'd fall apart at work and in my exercise routine as well. Doing the bare minimum if that to get by. I'm still in the process of applying for my QMHP and RIC renewal. It's a mission as everything with the VA DHP board is. They don't even let you email them your documents and pay online with a credit card. They make you snail mail your documents and write them a check. It's a super old out dated system. I can't believe I can't even make a payment online. It's nuts. I hope I get it done though. I'm getting more used to mailing checks and forms then emailing to check if they got processed a week later. I'm gonna try my best to endure my clients. My MWF one is a handful lately. He's just kind of antagonizing me or something. It's just not a chill vibe between us lately. Or ever perhaps. We just seem to piss eachother off and bother eachother very consistently. So I dunno we can only bear with eachother so well. At least we get along over some shows. I smiled at some CL lady I accomplished bringing lunch I am grateful for CL Lady, lunch, mwf clients, clients, 711, mom, me, flash doll, laptop table, space heater, fireplace, light switches, fireplace switch, God bless

Positive: Still game free coming up on a year In ten days I'll be 1 year game free if I make it there. I've been craving and thinking about playing diablo II. I just have to remember that I felt really bad when I played the game. It's like it was eroding my self esteem every minute I played. It made me feel bad about myself. I didn't like that part of it. I'm really struggling to not play. I hope I don't give in. Thankfully I created a barrier to playing by having my mom take my laptop. So if I wanted to play she would know pretty soon that I was gaming again because it'd be on her computer. Gotta remember that it's not worth it to game. Oh I reset my masturbation again darn. I haven't checked my email yet but I've got to write back to a job interview. Hopefully that goes well. Still got my old job which pays me something even though I'm not like earning hours. At least it's something for now to pay the bills. Yeah I don't mind the work I do too much, it's just the management staff is jerks to me now since they all got replaced by jerks so that sucks. Otherwise it's a chill job. Meh. Gotta leave it for the hours though anyways. I smiled at my alerts I accomplished meditating I am grateful for alerts, meditation, game free, clean time, abstinence, nofap, earning hours in the future hopefully, fun, chilling, and me. God bless

Hey I'm chilling too. It's nice to have a weekend off. Good job with your class and your clean time keep up the good effort.

Sorry they make you vote over there. Doesn't seem too fun to deal with especially from your perspective. I've actually read Mindfulness in Plain English. I based my daily meditation practice on the instructions in that book. So that's really cool that you're into that book. I like how he describes focusing on your breath in one small part of your nose so that you can more easily keep your mind on it instead of following the breath all up and down your body.

Sounds like you have some cool things planned. My mom goes antique shopping reminds me of your craft sales. Maybe those would be interesting too. Going for a hike with a group sounds fun.

Positive: I'm chillin After a whole day off with around 6-7 hours of tv yesterday and knowing I have a full day off today too has got me chilling. I'm not that worried about anything and I'm just hanging out doing whatever. It's really nice to get two days off in a row like this. I know I'll get back on my work on Monday and hopefully make some good progress on it next week. But for today I'm totally chilling. I think I'll go buy some sunblock and go for a hike by myself because my mom can't really hang on the hikes due to her osteoporosis. She wants to come sometimes but she just walks very slowly for a short time and then tells me to go ahead and walk as much as I want and she'll wait for me at the car. So it's not an ideal setting for team hiking. But, I guess if she wants to do it I can still go with her. So yeah I watched like 9 episodes of The Flash yesterday. I'm through season four and onto season 5 with Cicada. It's pretty awesome. My neck and head just get a little tired from sitting and watching all day. I think ideally I would break up the watching with a hike or errands running in between to give the head a break. Overall it was a pretty good day even though I didn't talk to anyone else because my mom was out all day too. I hope she's not avoiding me after I refused to talk to her for a day. Probably not. She says she went to a parade with more than a million people. I smiled at my spatula I accomplished eating eggs runny I am grateful for spatula, eggs, runny style, mom, parade, jesus, blanket, couch, new tenant, basement, weights, God bless

Good job persevering at your new job even with this project they have you working on that sounds pretty ludicrous. Sorry they're giving you work that is sort of not that reasonable to expect you to do. I always want work that I know how to do and can just zone out and complete each week. Learning new stuff is a major chore for me. Well. Glad golf is still going well for you too.

Hey, don't give up. Keep trying. You can't lose as long as you keep trying it's not over. As long as you're alive there's still a chance for you to succeed. So don't give up. Try to find something else to occupy your time, watch some of cam's videos do other things and then sleep. You can do it.

Yay, I'm really happy for you too. It must be a huge victory to be cancer free after 600 hours of chemo. That's a lot of time spent doing treatment. Enjoy your life it's like you got a new lease.

I lift weights in my garage. It's a little confined but it's gonna work well enough I think. Go lift some weights in your home like me.

Positive : I have a to do list Okay so finding a new job isn't exactly a walk in the park. I have one interview coming up in december 12th. So that's at least something in the right direction. I'm trying to let go of my past failings and focus on getting a new job that will help me get hours. My to do list is make a contract, renew RIC and get QMHP app in. I'm hoping to get all this done soon. I have until late Feb to get the RIC renewed. Can't believe they make you renew it yearly that's a mission. We gotta do 3 continuing education units so I'm trying to figure out where I can get those done. It was a pretty dark few days there with my mom yelling at me to get a new job and whatnot. But I'm starting to come out of it. Plus for once in a long time I have both Saturday and Sunday off work. This is awesome. Yay. Gonna watch so much tv, drink lots of water and eat food. It's gonna be great. Phew. Yeah. Hopefully things work out with mom I didn't like having to cut her off for a day but I didn't know how else to try to get through to her that it's not okay for her to be that mean to me regarless of what she has to say. I smiled at my post I accomplished memorizing yolanda montez name from star girl I am grateful for my post, yolanda, montez, mom, QMHP, RIC, contract, getting things done, backpack, table, other table, God bless

Try not to blow up on people if you can. Even if they deserve it and are being jerks it's not worth it. I know because I just did that.

Positive: I got a job interview on Saturday They sounded like they're interviewing a lot of people so I don't know if I'll get it but I have an interview. The idea is to get a third job and hopefully job 2 will grow over time and I can get rid of job 1 for job 3 in the meantime. Hopefully accruing hours towards licensure becuase job 1 isn't giving me any hours because they're being jerks to me. Yep. How can I put that professionally. Job 1 isn't giving me an opportunity to earn licensure hours. There. My mom was mean to me and got on my case in a mean way to get a new job. Which is okay advice but the way she did it was wrong. So I'm punishing her by not talking to her for a day. Yep. Spare the rod spoil the child. He who loveth his son chasteneth him betimes. I smiled at reproof I accomplished chastening I am grateful for money, reproof, chastening, love, betimes, food, water, milk, 1% milk, licensure, licensed hours. God bless

Positive: Still fighting to finally count hours towards licensure So my job basically told me I'm screwed and they aren't going to count any of my hours towards licensure. So . . . I think I'm going to try to start a new job. I had an offer I turned down before but sort of left open if I changed my mind. So I guess I'll try emailing them and seeing if they want to hire me still. Things are looking pretty bleak for me right now. I'm still trying to get my hours counted. Well...I hope they take me back. I blew up and yelled at my boss over email telling her to hurry up and get me licensed hours already and she got pissed and wrote something back. Whatever. They screwed me over. I smiled at opportunity I accomplished not dying from the stress of this crap I am grateful for opportunity, survival, new job, money, life, mom, me, flash doll, blanket, new sup?, rug God bless

Totally. Stuff becomes a hassle when you move that often. I just don't have much of it because that's kind of how my mom raised me to be. Don't have much stuff or spend much money. I'm glad the new job is going well for you. That sounds like it's a really good fit so far. Working out is great I hope that works out for you.

@LampshadeThank you, I like how you phrased it as something I decided I didn't want to do. It makes me feel more in control. @BornAgain40 Thanks. @Cam Adairsaid to list 10 things you're grateful for each day in a video so I started doing it. Positive: half day today Yay. It's a half day. I'm gonna come home early, watch tv, eat chicken and lift weights. I've been missing weight training lately because I have been working so much I didn't have much time or energy to do it. But now my schedule is more open for the time being. Eventually though it's going to be like. I only have 1.5 hours to workout and eat dinner and shower each night so. It's gonna be really difficult to find all the time I need to get my workouts in. Still I'm gonna do my best becuase exercise is very important to me. It makes me feel much better and healthier when I do it. I smiled at my charger I accomplisehd eating avocado I am grateful for charger, avocado, banana, chicken, tv, weight, training, energy, work, new work incoming hopefully, nails. God bless

Sounds like you have a good plan and a good idea of what you have to do to get what you want done. Yoga is good.

Good luck with that girl and with girls in general. Moving's a lot of work. I just moved. My mom did most of the work though. I just moved my stuff which wasn't too much. I don't want to have to move again anytime soon. Moving takes so much effort and time and just discomfort.

Positive: recommitting to not masturbating today So I masturbated and broke my streak yesterday. It was kind of coming. I kept masturbating using the mattress so I guess it's time to reset the streak. I think I felt like I just didn't know why I was refraining from doing this thing. It was so difficult to do as whenever I got warm in bed I would get erect. So I guess my reasons now are: It's better for mental health to stop, it makes me less pervy and it's less work to not masturbate. So those are my three reasons for now. At least I made it like 6 months without masturbating. That was a pretty good streak. Hopefully this next one goes well and lasts forever. Yeah. Makes me worry about my gaming streak. Don't want that one to have to reset too. I smiled at the cross I accomplished setting up weights in my garage I am grateful for the cross, weights, garage, ac, ac workers, insulation, refrain from masturabtion, streaks, blanket and doll. God bless

@Lampshade@Little Guy I'm glad I can serve as inspiration. I could go for some mint shampoo, maybe that's in my future. I remember when I started GQ I tried going a day without posting and felt like my cravings got worse immediately. So after that I decided to go for it everyday. And it's a nice part of my morning routine now. Yay.

Positive: I still have two jobs My new job still hasn't procured any hours. So I'm at zero hours of work per week at my new job. Crap psych today is having some issues with me. I tried to delete a profile with them but their customer support never got back to me gonna call them now. I smiled at psych today progress I accomplished eggs I am grateful for psych, today, eggs, new job, supervision hours, ancillary hours, possible new hours, customer, support, and me. God bless

Keep posting, posting everyday has helped me stay clean.

Aww. I don't want to let my mom down either. I think she'd be kind of disappointed or just not on board with me gaming though she'd tolerate it. I don't know if I'd even be able to keep my job if I went back to gaming. I hope I don't ever have to find out. Amen to that. They really do just put all your real life problems and to do lists on hold, sometimes for years before getting back around to your real life. Good job coming back. Welcome back, I hope to read more of your posts soon.

Hey, glad to see you posting again. I enjoyed reading your earlier posts when you went through your 90 day detox. I still remember some of your pictures like your Thor Halloween costume and the house that you rent out to people for weddings etc. I can see you've gone through a similar 20 years of gaming just like me. Gaming all day every day is not healthy or productive. I missed out on working a job and lived off my parents draining them of resources without doing anything to improve my own financial situation. It sounds like you were doing the same especially in your 2 years of WoW playing. Now we have a chance for redemption. We can grow and be better. Live better lives. Go team.

Positive: Still posting Posting on here daily has been paramount to my success in staying off the games. I can feel the difference if I miss a day. I'm just much more able to stay away from games if I check in here in the mornings like I've been doing. So I hope to keep doing it. 11 months have gone by on this site. I'm much more focused on my work and money. I've watched so much tv. It's nice to watch a lot of tv. I know it's not the perfect hobby, but it's something that gets me through the days and I enjoy it. Today's my day off. Finally I get one day off after working six. Starting next week I'm going to reclaim my weekends and try for a full weekend off. That will be amazing. Can't wait. Anyways I thought about watching star wars or my hero academia, but I figured why mess with a good thing and just do a marathon watching the The Flash. I'm on season four now. Maybe after I finish season six I'll go watch hero acc and star wars. Star Wars is expensive to watch. It requires buying the dvd's and getting a blue ray player. So that can sit on the back burner indefinitely. I don't much like to spend money unless it's on going out to eat at a nice place. Even then it's kind of suspect. I kind of like to save money more. Maybe go out like once a week or twice a month. I smiled at my charger I accomplished having a day off phew I am grateful for charger, day off, new job, phone, wallet, keys, meds, gum, ice cream, walmart, bread. God bless