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About Deku

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  1. I guess for me one thing was learning that the books of the old testament aren't meant to be taken literally as an actual historical account, but rather serve as shadows of God's plan and prophecies for the future. That was huge for me because the biggest problem I had with the bible is that it's objectively impossible--we know Earth isn't 6,000 years old, that there is no garden of Eden, etc. Finding out that the bible isn't meant to be taken literally, but rather spiritually, was a huge relief. More importantly, however, was learning about the many prophecies and fulfillments in the bible. In John 14:29, the bible says: "I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe," basically saying that prophecy and fulfillment is the proof that God is alive and working. I certainly feel that this is the case. There are way too many for me to talk about in detail, but every single prophecy of the old testament aligns perfectly with the gospels and Revelations, despite the languages, nations, and thousands of years of history that separate the writing of the bible's books. There's just too much that coincides for there to not be some kind of divine oversight involved. I honestly get chills just thinking about it.
  2. Hm, I did look into his teachings, and I can see how they would make sense. I too thought that that was the only true explanation before I started attending bible study. But after hearing the word laid out plainly and clearly, I'm starting to gravitate away from the Sam Harris teachings. There's just too much unity, too many coincidences, for there to not be some kind of supernatural presence behind the bible. It's great to hear from you, always a blessing to log in and see 10+ notifications from all your reacts. I'm glad you're back!
  3. Got my Hematology midterm back today, and I absolutely got smashed. I frankly don't know how I did so poorly-clearly something wasn't quite there with my understanding of the material-so hopefully the midterm review at 6 am on Thursday will clear that up for me. On the bright side, got my Neurogenetics midterm back today and that was much better--99%, good enough for the high score among all sections of the class. I also helped teach the Immunology Lab lead section today (largely relegated to teaching the kids how to use the FACS machine), and assisted with advertising for our bible study's seminar this Saturday. It's a huge event, with almost 200 people already RSVP'd, and I'm couldn't be more excited that we're giving the gift of faith to so many people. 🙂
  4. Day 1 Mondays are generally a pretty crappy day because I have to be on campus for a meeting by 8 in the morning, and don't get home until almost 10 at night. Today was especially a pretty tiring day with a pretty significant downer--the patient I've been visiting through my hospice volunteering unfortunately passed away today after fighting late-stage cancer for almost 4 months. It's crazy how I knew this was coming (honestly she was circling the drain in the last couple weeks), yet the end still hit me pretty darn hard. She was so sweet, bright and funny right up until the very end, and it was a tremendous pleasure to be able to talk to and spend time with her. I'm surprised that even though I only knew her for a few months I'm still experiencing minor symptoms of grief, as though I lost a good friend. My Tuesdays begin at the crack of dawn with the wonderful 7:30 am Hematology class, so checking out now. Good night everyone and I will be back tomorrow.
  5. I second this one! For me it's the fear that one day I'll wake up realizing the best years of my life are over, and that I missed my chance to realize my full potential.
  6. Hey man, it's always nice to hear from the older people on these forums. You guys are living evidence that it really is never too late to start something! Of course you'll feel empty after quitting gaming. You've relied on it for so many years for happiness and meaning in your life, even built your life around a future where you could afford to play games in peace. But I think that you've made the right choice and that you'll realize soon just how rewarding your new life can be. Keep it up!!
  7. Hey guys, I'm finally back. Hopefully for a while this time. For nearly a month now I've been back in the gaming hole. I think what's made it especially hard to get out this time is the fact that my life has been pretty good even while gaming. My grades are excellent (my lowest grade is in Hematology, where I also have the second highest grade in the class), my extracurriculars are going well, and I even have a girlfriend. It wasn't like when I started this journal 6 months ago, when I had my back against the wall and absolutely had to quit my gaming habit if I wanted to succeed. I guess the difference now is that I'm no longer quitting gaming because I have to, but because I want to. I'm realizing that while my gaming addiction isn't horribly messing up my life it does greatly hinder how much I can get done each day, and I feel I could do so much more without it gobbling up my free time. I want to do things like work out, eat healthy, maintain a clean living space, stay on top of myself, and just do more than be good enough every day. I don't want to plateau at age 23. It's pretty late right now so I'll set some goals for myself tomorrow. For now my only goal going forwards will be to spend at least 15-30 minutes daily on this forum. It's good to be back!
  8. I think it's the 10th day now since my relapse? I see why people count days now on their journals... Life's been pretty good of late. I met with my Hematology professor and he RAVED about my resume and transcript--in his opinion, with a good MCAT score and stellar letters of recommendation I actually have a pretty good shot of getting in med school. He also asked if I wanted to be his TA for Hematology next Spring (though I unfortunately had to decline). It's incredible to hear all these things because the man is a department legend, professor emeritus and most importantly a former medical school admissions committee member. After our talk I can just make out a light at the end of the tunnel now--it's very faint, but it's there.
  9. Hey guys, it’s been a while. I’ve been pretty busy and stressed out of late, but fortunately I haven’t gone back to gaming in a while. So I think I’m almost at a week now. A couple interesting things that have happened since my last post: -I passed my test to move on from beginner to intermediate bible study, so I’ll be hanging with the intermediate seminar starting Monday. I’m excited to start learning about the actual story of the Bible now! -My Hematology professor (who is a former doctor and an actual legend in the Bio department) called me up after class to talk about my career goals. He thinks I’d be a great doctor and offered to help me out along the way. I’m meeting with him Tuesday at 9 am—so a fat part of this weekend is going to be spent working on my resume in advance of our meeting.
  10. Zero. I relapsed today--somehow convinced myself that I could afford to play one game, now feeling super stupid. >_>
  11. Looks like my premed dreams aren't done just yet. I got a 61/70 or 87, which wasn't a very good score, but it was good enough to be second in the class and only a couple points shy of first. I've been given another chance, and I won't let myself down this time. I am going all out on the course material from here on out, and I'll hit that second exam with everything I've got. Whichever person got the 63, know that I'm coming for you.
  12. @Phoenixking well said, although there certainly are people that are incredibly successful and productive even in their older years (see Bill Gates and Warren Buffett). Though those guys think and operate at such a high level that I don't think they could be called human anymore... I've been making really good progress with hospice volunteering in the last month. My assignment is to provide companionship and assistance for an elderly woman (we'll call her L) with terminal cancer on Wednesday mornings while her daughter (J) attends a class and runs errands. It was really awkward at first, but L has really warmed up to me over time and actively looks forward to our visits now. J has grown to trust me more as well; she used to always ask one of her sisters to come over as well during my visit but now she lets me spend time with L alone. L's dog is also quite friendly to me despite normally being aggressive to strangers; in the past few weeks he's jumped into my lap quite a few times. I feel really good about the decision to do hospice volunteering this semester. It is definitely a significant time commitment, but being able to spend time with L and her family has really shown me a different side of medicine than the one I'm used to. I've spent so long learning about the human body and the various biochemical mechanisms that keep us alive, but it's only through this opportunity that I've learned that medicine is about treating people, and not biological models. The decisions that physicians make have to be tailored to individuals and their idiosyncracies, and those decisions have real consequences on lives and families. It was really a great revelation to have and one that would serve me well if I ever became a doctor. We'll find out if that's still the case when the Hematology exams come back tomorrow though >_>"
  13. Got every point (including the extra credit question) on my Neurogenetics midterm for a total of 155/150. Let’s go! I highly doubt Hematology went that well though...
  14. Fuck yeah! Above average is a fine grade and phenomenal progress from where you were before. Let's go!!
  15. I actually think you bring up a good point. I've been in this rut recently, and I think a large part of that is that I've just tried to do too much at once. 13 credits while teaching 2 classes, attending bible study, volunteering at hospice and training for Rainier is a nightmare, and I just can't seem to find a second to breathe right now. I don't know if it's all the brain power I'm using every day or the fact I'm not eating enough, but I can sleep super early and still feel completely exhausted the next day. Because of this exhaustion and the stress from all the stuff I have to do I can feel myself falling behind on every commitment. It seems like I'm doing all the things I need for medical school, but nothing particularly well. I'm starting to realize that I do have a limit, and that limit was exceeded long ago. There are some absolute beasts in this world that can seemingly reach for the heavens while carrying the entire weight of the world on their shoulders. I don't think I'm one of those people.
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