Paul A.

Welcome back Faroe! I'm going through a bit of a restart myself, we're in this together! Let's support each other as we work to re-establish better habits

Welcome! Hopefully this forum will be a useful resource for you as you work to eliminate the presence of gaming in your life.

Well, guess I'm back. I spent the past month gaming almost incessantly, outside of work and sleep at least. I guess I had gotten sick of being bored all the time. The last time I tried to quit gaming, I shuffled through a number of different replacement activities, each proving to be ineffective. That being said, I believe I may have figured out why. Ever since I can remember, I've had a strong desire to find my "passion" (whatever it may be) and turn it into a career. This has led me down a long road of trying (and failing) to monetize a number of different hobbies, from making music to computer programming. The desire to monetize every little hobby I pick up sucks the fun right out of them. This explains why I tend to jump from one hobby to the next. I have a very real case of "shiny object syndrome", which is probably a side effect of my bipolar disorder. That being the case, I've learned a lot about myself over this past month, including but not limited to: 1. I can't enjoy competitive games because I'm overcome by a need to be the best 2. I have a hard time losing 3. I need to learn to enjoy an activity for the activity's sake, not for the promise of potential profit 4. I hate being bored more than anything else 5. The Roblox fighting game community sucks (doesn't really have to do with me but thought I'd throw it in there) All in all, I think the past month was necessary for my personal development. The approach I took to quitting games the last time wasn't at all sustainable, and I was bound to relapse sooner rather than later (which I did). But this time around, armed with my increased self-knowledge, I'm determined to put video games down for good. I've already found a suitable replacement activity in music production, which is something I dabbled with in the past as a potential source of income. Obviously, I'm not entertaining that possibility this time; producing is strictly a fun pastime now and nothing more. Although, one thing I did fail to realize last time was that I can't rely on just one activity to fill the void that gaming did. I can spend a few hours at a time producing, but I can't make beats all day the way I could spend all day gaming. With that in mind, I've gotten back into reading manga and watching anime as secondary activities. They're not meant to be activities to fill up a lot of time, but they're entertaining enough that I can enjoy them throughout the day. The strategy I had to use only one activity to replace gaming was naive at best. It'll take more than that to replace an activity as addictive as gaming. Anyway, it's good to be back! Looking forward to catching up with you all.

At this point, I’m starting to wonder if it’s even possible for me to quit games. I say this because my life is so utterly uninteresting that I feel like I need games just to kill time. When I’m not at work, I spend my entire day at home not doing much of anything. Since I don’t have a car, I can’t really come and go from my house as I please. This limits me to finding things to do inside the house, and the few activities I try to get into either don’t stick or are unenjoyable to me. Nothing I’ve tried has been able to serve as an adequate replacement for gaming in my life. I think it would be easier for me if I had a car, but then again that just sounds like an excuse. I can only ever go a few days at a time without gaming until the boredom overwhelms me, and I come running right back. But then the issue is that I don’t even enjoy the games like I used to. It’s as if nothing interests me anymore. I’ve tried computer programming, going outside more, reading, you name it: nothing seems to hold my interest very long. Outside of work, I spend most of the day sleeping, just out of sheer boredom. This isn’t any way to live, but I don’t know how to fix it. It isn’t all bad, though. I’ve managed to stay away from my compulsive sexual behaviors for a while (and saved a lot of money in the process). I’ve also started listening to a great audiobook, The 48 Laws of Power, which is unlike any book I’ve ever read/listened to before. It made me reflect on my life and the power dynamic that has existed between me and others, and I realized something about myself: I want to be powerful. In what context I want said power remains to be seen, but case in point, I know what it feels like to be powerless, and I never want to feel that way again. Despite this mind-numbing boredom I feel almost every day, my life isn’t all that bad. I never have to worry about what I’m going to eat, or where I’m going to sleep. I’m making decent money for someone my age who lives at home, and while I don’t go out much or have much of a social life, I don’t feel lonely. I’m just really, really bored and really, really dissatisfied with my life. There has to be something more than… well, this. I thought my life would be a lot more exciting by now. I just turned 20, and evidently your 20s are supposed to be the time of your life. But I’m definitely not having the time of my life right now. I keep looking for what will fulfill me, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. I’ve done the whole spiritual thing which proposes that true peace and contentment can be found within, but that doesn’t work for me. I want something more. Something tangible. I want to wake up and feel like my life has meaning. I want to wake up excited to be alive. I just don’t have that right now. I feel like I’m just going through the motions, like I’m just existing. And I’m sick of it.

Congrats on 90 days!

Looks great!

I have a copy of it sitting on my bookshelf, so I’ll be sure to give it a read. Thanks for the suggestion

I want to start spending a lot more time outside. @Ikar mentioned how most of the hobbies I try either require a phone or a computer, which I never really thought about before. It made me realize how much I limit myself by staying indoors. Most of the hobbies I look into require Internet access, such as computer programming and forex trading, for example. And for whatever reason, I have a hard time spending significant amounts of times engaged in either of these activities. As such, I figured I might as well switch gears and try heading outside for a change. I remember when I was younger, I would spend hours at a time playing basketball with my friends after school. I want to try and replicate this now that I’m older. When I’m looking at hobbies, my main concern is whether I can spend long amounts of time engaged in them, the same way I could spend hours at a time gaming. I have a lot of free time on my hands when I’m not at work, and it’s easy to get bored when I don’t purposefully fill that time with meaningful activities. And I’ve realized that it’s hard to find any indoors activities that fill up a lot of time apart from gaming. As such, I want to focus on outdoors activities. As well, I think spending more time outdoors will be better for my health, because spending time outdoors almost always means you’re engaged in some kind of physical activity. So, my motivation for getting outdoors is actually twofold. 1. To avoid being indoors and bored and 2. To improve my health. Unfortunately, I won’t really get a chance to get outside until Monday because I’m working all weekend. But I’m still looking forward to getting outside for a change. I won’t let the fact that it’s getting colder here in the US deter me. If I want to make a lasting change in my life, I’m gonna have to make some sacrifices, including my comfort. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

Welcome! Just take things one day at a time, and they’ll get better

This is helpful. I tend to get obsessed with monetizing every hobby I pick up, and it sucks the fun right out of it. So moving forward I’ll try to get into activities just to enjoy them, rather than to monetize them in the future. Thanks for your input

I’m starting to explore my interests again. Without the distractions of social media and YouTube, I have more time to think about what I want to spend my time doing. I’m considering getting back into computer programming, but I’m facing the same problem I initially had when I first discovered it, which is the sheer amount of resources available. There’s so many different languages I can learn and so many career paths I can take, and it’s all so overwhelming. It’s discouraging me from taking action at all. Furthermore, I don’t want to fall into the same cycle of cultivating interest in an activity just to lose interest rapidly. It’s happened with computer programming, game development, and now it’s even happening with forex trading. I’m really not sure how to go about addressing this chronic inability to commit to anything. Either way, I’m kind of at a standstill. I watched a video about an Indian holy woman, which rekindled my interest in Eastern spirituality. Only issue is, I don’t know how to go about pursuing this interest in a practical way. All I can really do is consume more content about the subject, which won’t do me any good. If I’m going to kick gaming for good, I need an activity that ticks all the boxes that gaming did, and mindlessly consuming content about a subject won’t do that, no matter how interested in the subject I may be. I’m not sure how to move forward from here.

Congrats on 60 days!

Your mindset is great! Relapses happen, no need to beat yourself up over it. You're doing great, keep going!

Sounds like things are going well for you. Keep it up

I relapsed again. Unstructured free time plus a lack of viable replacement activities to pass the time. Relapsing really doesn't get to me anymore; it happens, life goes on. Anyway, I'm trying a "new" approach this time (I put new in quotations because I've tried it before in the past, but I wanted to give it another shot). @Max mentioned in his journal that he's trying a dopamine detox, and I wanted to give it a try as well. I've done a one-day dopamine detox once before, and I really enjoyed it, so I figured I'd give it another go, just with a different spin on it. I'm cutting out all forms of quick-fix entertainment, including social media, porn, and most notably, YouTube. YouTube is the one thing I always run to when I'm bored, so I figured cutting it out would reap some huge benefits. The idea behind cutting these things out is to 1) boost productivity, but 2) and more importantly, figure out what I want to be spending my time doing. I've been feeling some entrepreneurial drive recently, and now is as good a time as ever to capitalize on it. But first, I need to figure out exactly what I need to be doing. I've looked into different small businesses/side hustles I can try, so now I guess it's time to just double down on starting one. Outside of that, I learned that I just default to watching anime when I'm not watching YouTube. I actually want to watch more anime, so this doesn't concern me as much, but there's definitely better uses of my time. Today was actually the first day of my dopamine detox experiment; I deleted all social media and YouTube off my phone and pretty much went without them until I went in to work. I spent that time reading a book that my former schoolmate published, and I watched an anime movie I've been meaning to watch for a while. It was a slow-paced, enjoyable morning, and I'm hoping to replicate that kind of vibe throughout my dopamine detox. As for how long I want it to last, I want this to be a long-term change. I want to pretty much go without these quick-fix entertainment sources for the foreseeable future, and see how I manage without them. Let's see how it goes!

The last thing we'd do is judge you! We're here to support you and help in whatever way we can. I'm taking medication for bipolar disorder, so I can relate to you with the mental illness. You're not alone!

Hey Max, glad you’re giving your gaming detox another shot. As someone who’s also done a dopamine detox, I’d say it’s really beneficial in a few ways. The hard part is maintaining those same benefits when the detox ends. You’ll be cut off from these sources of stimulation for a certain period of time and it’ll actually feel quite pleasant, but as soon as you reintegrate them back into your life, they take over again. If you can find a way to do a dopamine detox or something similar long term, you’ll benefit much more than just a 7-day experiment. Best of luck, and keep us posted on your progress.

Welcome back! You may have had some setbacks, but the important thing is that you’re trying again. Like the Japanese proverb says: Fall down seven times, get up eight. You’ve made mistakes and learned a lot about yourself in the process. I believe you can make a lasting change this time around. We’re here to support you along the way!

Haven’t had time to post in the past few days. Not much to report, I’ve just been working and getting more into trading. I’m going to try and have more enthusiasm for my job. I realized (well, realized again) the power of mindset and how you think, so I’m gonna think more positively about my job and have a better mindset about it. I‘ll do the same with trading and see how it impacts my results. I started an audiobook about technical analysis as it pertains to trading while at work; I’m looking forward to getting into it when I have some time. I also bought a new notebook that I’m calling my “trading book”: I’ll use it to record all my trades (even simulated trades) and take notes on trading books and videos. I want it to be my resource for all things trading related. It’s also pertinent to an old habit I want to pick back up, which is carrying a notebook around. I used to carry a notebook wherever I went, for taking notes on books I was reading and for daily affirmations, as well as just for recording things I thought were important enough to write down. It was a beneficial habit that I want to adopt again. Anyway, just wanted to post a quick update. I have to be up early tomorrow morning for a 12-hour shift, so I’ll be needing to bed. Good night

I struggle with my diet as well… I’ve always had a sweet tooth and I can never seem to rein it in. I’m sure there’s a way we can use that to our advantage without just resorting to willpower though. I’ve found that willpower is extremely limited and that as humans we’re always prone to take the path of least resistance. It may just come down to filling your home with healthy snacks that still taste good.

Day 1 Today was a fun day. I started learning how to trade forex, as a way to kill time and also as a way to indulge my fascination with money and finance. Trading is a lot of fun, perhaps because of the speculative aspect of it. There's certainly a level of technical analysis you need to master to maximize your chances of turning a profit, but ultimately you never know what a given currency pair is going to do. Even though I'm only trading with simulated money right now, I had a blast making trades and learning more about forex. As of the time of this writing, I've made three winning trades for a profit of about $140 (simulated money), which is exciting. I'm probably gonna keep trading with fake money for a while to learn the ropes before I start trading with actual money. It's beneficial to play around and make mistakes in an environment where there's no real stakes. It would be a different story if I plunged into trading with real money and lost it all within a few days; that would probably suck the fun out of it. But since I'm not playing with real money, I'm enjoying myself thoroughly. I was back to work today after 3 days off. Work was pretty slow, and I didn't make any sales. My sales have been suffering since Labor Day, probably because my motivation is shot. I don't know what happened, but I lost the passion I once had for the job. I don't intend to stay much longer though. Once I figure out what career path I want to go down and the fastest way to do it, my days at that store will be numbered. But for now, it's nice to be making some money to plow into investments and simple pleasures (lots of snacks, lol). Speaking of investments, my automated investment is going well. I've invested about $15 automatically since the start of the week. It's nice to see my nest egg growing, slowly but surely. While the trading is more a fun hobby than anything, my brokerage account is meant for long-term growth. Don't get me wrong, it's still fun to invest (as opposed to trading), but it's a lot more passive and a lot less involved; I can't do much apart from monitor my returns every now and again. Either way, I'm sure trading and investing both will provide me with a solid foundation to secure my financial future. Money is fun.

This is the time you want to double down on your replacement activities. Immerse yourself so fully in them that you don’t have the mental bandwidth to think about gaming. I know you’re into music production, so take this time to go crazy on producing some killer tracks, or dive into any other activities you may be interested in. Stay strong

Reading’s a good one, definitely super engaging if you pick up the right books Oof, I’m not the best person to ask about this. Because of my bipolar disorder, I tend to get super excited/“passionate” about some new activity for a short period of time, just to lose interest after a while. This happened most recently with computer programming, I got super into it for about a week and a half, just to lose interest. I’m getting into investing/trading now. As for you, I think you’ll just find yourself naturally gravitating towards particular activities during your free time, at which point you can determine whether it’s a hobby you want to pick up. I’m definitely not an authority on the subject, but it may pay to do some research on potential hobbies and try out what looks interesting to you. Hope this helps

Thanks! I’m following your journal so I’ll be sure to keep posted with your progress as well

Apart from relapsing, I’m doing alright. I’m getting into forex trading, which is pretty exciting. The world of investing and finance has always interested me so I’m having fun diving back in