Laney

This is how I've been feeling as well. I've always been focused on dating, now that I've started this challenge it's the first time in my life I'm 100% dedicated to me. It's a bit exhilarating! Good to hear your updates. Also very entertaining. It's not a choice for me though. After you've been poor for two years, it becomes obvious at a first sight. All I can afford right now is a bus ride to the center of the town where I can then look like someone who's been poor for two years. The first question girls ask you is "what do you do". I don't have a cool answer to that. Ah but see, you followed that quote up there with a very opposite statement earlier. You have more important things to do! Goals to achieve! It's all about how we perceive our situation. I don't have the money to support a relationship, nor a cool job. I feel very insecure advertising myself off to potentialI partners, most of them won't understand a thing about me, where I'm going or where I aim to be. And I don't have the self confidence to back that up either. But that's ok with me right now. I'm finding it freeing instead of sad. I get to focus on me instead of them. We're not in the best place for dating but that doesn't mean we're in a bad place overall.

This is how I've been feeling as well. I've always been focused on dating, now that I've started this challenge it's the first time in my life I'm 100% dedicated to me. It's a bit exhilarating! Good to hear your updates. Also very entertaining.

Shout out to @kortheo and @MmmWatermelon for the harmonica jam sesh after the meet. Everyone was good company, look forward to seeing more of you all!

The character deletion is an important step. I am proud of you for choosing yourself and taking this dive. I wasn't as dedicated as you when I first quit and on my second week I had to log back in to delete what was still connecting me to my games. One of the best things I think I did for myself. Look forward to reading your journals, welcome to the community Rick Also you can change your topic name any time you like if you think of something way rad just edit the main post.

Hey Oseiii! I feel you on the internet and bad habits. My phone and the web have replaced much of what gaming filled. Having my phone stolen was a bit of a weird blessing and I learned I need to leave my phone away from me or turn it off more often to be more present and invested in my day. It's not an easy path but we are here to support you and beat this together. This will be worth it.

Welcome and I hope to see you around mysterious person!

I really love what you said about the challenge. The 90 days IS REALLY AWESOME and kind of fun, but honestly I could care less that I quit games. It's just easier to tell people I'm sober from games than it is to say, "its day 43 of me deciding I'm going to apply myself and discover better ways to enjoy life." I understand addiction much better than I used to. Hopefully I can be there for someone irl to give support when everyone else might reject them. Also thanks for reinforcing the whole lack of substances thing for me, I do enjoy alcohol but at the same time I'm not sure it's worth how I after.

Hey Primm, I'm glad you found and joined gamequitters whatever you decide. Just be aware going into it of the signs of gaming too much/addiction. Maybe you'll come back as a relapser or maybe not. . Gaming is not a problem for everyone, but it is for most of us who came here.

One of my favorite sayings is, “If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's OK. But you've got to shoot for something. A lot of people don't even shoot.” (not the popular one shoot for the moon and if you miss you'll land among the stars) You can totally do it!! I'm not sure who you can have to motivate you but don't let your parents bring down your expectations. Mine have done that my whole life and it's had negative affects in my schooling. (I am the brightest child, logically at least, but the youngest and they undershot my academics because of my prior siblings troubles in math & sciences) If you think you're capable of it, so do I! Whoo!

I have the same experiences as Laney My gaming dreams are based on the game I was playing but my dreaming mind completely redesigns the game in question. I wonder if it would be a good idea to transform these dreams into short stories? They do not really make me want to play since they are so much better than actual game. I wonder why you and others can recognize the specific game while mine aren't identifiable. But what a fun idea!! They do have unique storylines behind them despite the mmo-feel. It would be interesting to keep the story and remove the gaming aspects. Have you tried writing yours? My story writing is absolute crap though, so I'd probably keep it to myself ahaha Or maybe we can pm each other!

Hey @DaBest, seems we're kind of in a similar place with screen time being the tough thing atm(day 40 myself, maybe its a midle of the road challenge?). Glad to see you're doing well and you're parents are thankful I'm sure!

Day 40 I have a phone again! Without "games" I've been more aware in general, but I am still oblivious and not on top of my life. I hope as I approach the halfway mark, that I will accomplish "awareness" by the time I finish the detox. Or at least the beginnings of a habit where I can achieve more and more awareness as I go. RPG's are still a lingering thought that I tease myself with, although I don't indulge them. Honestly I don't know what to do, half of me thinks I deserve some free time to enjoy an RPG while the other half thinks it would be a downward spiral if I want to accomplish the career and person that I know I can be and am capable of. I am not addicted to them in the sense that I cannot detach, but I am addicted by feeling the need to escape my life and enjoy a fantasy on the screen. To help that, I will be using my phone less than I was before becayse it's replaced a part of that escape I had with games. The more I encompass myself in real life, the more I am aware of my goals. The frequency of visualizing my future and present goals has increased despite not being as aware as I'd like. All in all, this detox is good thing despite this plateau. I'm positive I'll get past it. Thanks for reading anyone ~

Thank you for the honest talk about what it did to your body being sedentary! I'm really worried about this as well, exercise has become a struggle for me. If not for speek walking between classes I'd be super weak, haha. Bioinformatics sounds awesome! Never heard of it before but of course we need information systems for bio data too. Hope to see you around and look forward to reading your journals/progress.

Thanks Cam! I think this will be a great help to new members. The more we post with longer journals it's already become a habit and a place to put our thoughts instead of expecting replies from people.

Sorry fellow was the wrong word. As a female* I didn't think you were a gal, @Paul A. Was using it more as fellow gamequitter who is female? Not sure what I was thinking! Also please tag me or quote me otherwise I won't get a notification you responded.

Thank you, Cam. I am looking into his How to Talk to Anybody and Instant Network which both interest me. What a cool dude! People like you and him amaze me. The social skills needed to get life idea's across to people productively is whooosh over my head. Day 34. Had a very un-productive weekend. I spent most of my time with friends as my phone was stolen at a music venue. They stayed a day longer in LA to help me find it (we didn't). Thank goodness I use Google Voice for work, and can still answer phone calls when I have wifi. It's also KIND OF NICE not having my phone, but expensive as I have to replace it, and I lost all my photo's and personal notes which are priceless. I think I'm allowed to insert sad face here to mourn it's loss. But it's the beginning of the week and I'm looking forward to kicking it's butt! I've had two good talks with acquaintances in the field that have invigorated me to search for a better fitting job, and got a bit of direction for my few core classes left. What I will do better: Focus on school work and try to be ahead oh my classes this quarter! That would be a wild thing.

@Paul A. As a female, I couldn't even talk to girls right until I joined a sorority in college, or at least I couldn't keep them as long term friends. But I always talked to dudes, so maybe I can help out a bit. When talking to new male people: We would talk about homework assignments, common interests and teachers. Usually people who sat near me in class or, In English class, the ones who were very talkative during question and answer discussion on books. Those people are more open minded and interested in meeting/getting to know others/sharing their viewpoints and discussing them. Great way to make some good friends. Theatre and debate would be a good way to interact with both guys and girls, as well as develop shy-ness in front of people/performing.

I know it doesn't seem like it's affecting your life negatively, and that it gives you a short sense of power..but the problem here is that the more you react to these incidents with anger, the less you will be able to react to normal incidents where you aren't being bullied (you won't be able to tell the difference between a rude comment and constructive criticism, or when embarrassed get angry at others even though no one else did anything wrong) The more you get angry the easier it is to begin abusive relationships in the future with lovers and friends. And you won't realize you're being emotionally abusive until something drastic happens or you get a lucky bout of clarity. And it's no good to get mad at yourself when you make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes but you don't see them because you pay more attention to yourself or they don't call attention to them while you do. You can't beat yourself up for dropping a ball, being clumsy etc. Those are things you can't control and being clumsy doesn't have that many repercussions in the real world lol. Just got to buy plastic plates, don't wear white clothes, and fall gracefully xD. Coming from fellow clumsy person. Laugh awkwardly at your clumsiness and as you move on so will others.

Day 30, Week Three Four weeks! Whoooo! Feels so short and so long at the same time. Half of me is happy for where I am, but the other half is upset I'm not farther. School: I stilI have this brain fog and am having trouble getting into the swing of my classes. I look forward to when I can be 100% invested and involved with them. I think that will be accomplished this week. My brain is so very forgetful of my assignments and I've even forgotten to buy the parking pass every day. So now I'm walking 20+min to class if I miss the shuttle. I've been late or missed classes already because of this. Trouble parking triggers my depression from two years ago when I was in a really bad place at school. Cravings for tv shows and a specific ascii game has been increasing since school started. I am very upset with the state of my life and don't want to face it. But I dont have to face it as @Alkan pointed out. I'll do what I know needs to be done for school and think about the shit person I am after I've done it. I assume I won't think I'm shit after accomplishing things. Work: I'm in a job where I'm paid too little and not being challenged enough. But at the same time I've also stopped taking it seriously and aren't doing my best. I need to be more mindful and present at work, and I also need to apply to many entry level jobs in my area. I'm don't want to interview because I am scared of being perceived as an idiot in the tech field. Gotta just jump in anyway. :< 3 things I'm grateful for: 1. That I made it to class on time. 2. My yoga + meditation class. WOW I feel so relaxed!! 3. Students collecting signatures to protest parking and transportation 1 amazing thing that happened today A friend shared plenty of Geisha coffee with me today, I had it pourover then aeropress and then tonic+espresso shot. Great coffee and great company. Geisha coffee beans are expensive, less than the owl poop coffee but more $ than most everything else haha. What could I have done to make my day better? Honestly? Nothing haha. It was a good day. OH I could've brought a calculator to my finance class. What I will do differently tomorrow: I will exercise after work, and hopefullly paint something that fits my soul more. I keep comparing myself when really I shod be creati.g what I feel I should be. Something magical, otherwordly, with a feeling of solitude. But that's a goal for more than just tomorrow.

I had anger problems growing up. The emotion would consume me, and I would do bad things I never would have done if I wasn't angry. You need to realize that your actions hurt and scare away others. Yes, you are mad. Yes, you feel wronged. But in that moment you need to be conscious of the non angry real you and your real goals. You won't feel them, but, logically you can observe your true selfs morals, friends and goals. So yeah youre mad, but that doesn't mean you will like the consequences of destroying your friendships, your phone, or your family's trust in you. Try to be aware of your triggers. What makes you mad? Notice when those things start happening. You're playing a sport, you gotta prepare mentally for the anger and know that it will go away, and if you get too angry excuse yourself from the group to calm down. A football player girl friend of mine practices flexing all of her muscles in her body and relaxing them all at once(to calm down outside of games at least) She has anger problems on the field. I could ask her some tips for during games?

The person you're in love with isn't the same person that is alive today. She's changed, you've changed. I've learned if someone doesn't think I'm worth dating then they aren't attractive. You deserve someone who wants you too. Not just "a wonderful person who could care less about me". That's not something you want hun:) you got this. The journey will begin with a new person down the road.

Making instant decisions would be really freeing on me and probably remove some anxiety, but also hard because of my need to have a plan for everything. When I don't have plans I flip out. So much so that when I'm spontaneous it's usually planned spontaneity. Like I have to mentally prepare my body to be okay with uncertainty and change.

I think I follow you, using a disorder or problem as an excuse to procrastinate? Kind of like, if you get invited to a party with friends you're fond of but you think, well..I'm an introvert.. and then decide to not go justifying it by you being an introvert. When in reality you're scared of failure in the social scene but know you would enjoy the experience if you went. Recognizing all of this and just saying "screw it" and acting is the trickiest part.

Have you thought about bringing this up with your family? It will be much easier to avoid games if your family isn't buying you them as gifts. Welcome to the forum Paul!

The guy who made The Art of Manliness website said that he wishes he and his wife could do something similar for women. I do wish that the philosophy of "manliness" would be reinterpreted into maturity. It's about being a man or a woman, as opposed to being a mere boy or a girl. As for that particular site, it's one of my favorites. I can't think of any men's specific sites that would actually do you any good that The Art of Manliness couldn't, not that they aren't out there. Well I think I just found a website to follow regularly! Maturity is a good word for it. Growing into your full potential as a man or a woman, I think I'll keep thinking of it that way I also like to think of it as "Man" , like humankind, but that doesn't necessarily fit all the time. You are so right that we tend to think how we are feeling is the main issue! Therapy sessions have helped me see past that at least for my adhd and anger, but depression is the hardest to recognize and fight by far. I wouldn't say medication is bad, in fact I am truthful when I say I hope I'll be on medication for ADHD the rest of my life. It's okay if you don't agree with me. Depression medication depends on the person, some people are predisposed by genetics, and some by circumstance. It's not seen as a bad thing to use a crutch when healing your broken leg, it shouldn't be seen as bad thing to use anti depressants when healing your Self. *shrug* Using medication without making healthy lifestyle changes though is never a good idea. It's like using a crutch but still walking with your broken leg.