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  1. Hey Rick, stop being so harsh on yourself. I too have been off the radar doing you know what.(I binged) Stefan Molyneux had a very interesting view on addiction. He said that people with addictions are only trying to self medicate for what they lack. And with the whole surge of dopamine we have been experiencing over the course of years I find it a very probable outcome that we keep reaching back for it. Our brains are just wired that way at the moment. However being as it is, it is probably also the reason why we have no interest in other stuff. I read somewhere that the best way to break a habit is to replace it with another one. How is one to do this if they are at a point where nothing else excites them? I recently got rid of my computer and so far fought the urge to install hearthstone on my cellphone. BUT I feel extremely lonely atm, am very tired all the time and am but a mere peasant in this realm(world's a scary place yo!) . This is not standard willpower we are talking here, this is all about raw strategy. Willpower is tightly woven into emotion and as someone with addictive tendancies I do not trust my brain in that regard. I don't know man, would you like to meet up?
  2. Hi Osei, the main thing is keeping it up. Don't feel obliged to write something with a big meaning behind it. For me the journal is two things. First of all i check my status quo. What goals do i have? What did I do yesterday? Why didn't i do some things i wanted to do?. Secondly i use it as a place for my gratidude journal wich is a very rewarding habbit for me to increase my general level of contentment. If something else meaningfull comes to mind while writing it is fine, but if not it is still worthwhile because it leads my mind on the right track. You are very much right so. And just making an entry is my foremost priority. In a while the strategy will evolve into incorporating the following focus points: my goals and a summary of the the actual day regarding these goals. I really like your gratitude part and did an assignment from Cam's 'Challenge' program regarding gratitude a few days ago. I found it really hard to do and also felt like it was a confirmation on the 'what can you do for me' attitude I currently seem to have. I also started carrying a writing pad with me for ideas, but am yet to actively use it.
  3. Day 5 Quite the ordinary day today. Went to work and felt a bit more self-concious today in my interaction with the members I was interacting with. Felt a strong urge to compensate the way I see myself in my presentation towards others. After I got home I made the decision to start eating according to a certain regimen I feel will really jibe with me. I need to however be cautious and prepare beforehand to make sure I get enough daily macro nutrients. I browsed a bit on the sites I usually go to, but noticed it didn't feel the same. I am more aware of the fact that I'm trying to be entertained which makes the actual experience less pleasurable (I even started to question music wondering if it was distracting my 'being in the now'). I was just opening and closing tabs hoping I would find something I could do online, going through my bookmarks hoping to find anything at all. By default in behaviour I also went to the Twitch website, but refrained from actually watching any videos. Then I decided to lay down for a bit and rest for a bit. Now forward on to the challenging part of the day: A package was delivered for me whilst I was sleeping. The contents of the box was a smartphone which I recently purchased. The first thing my brain wanted to do was install the 'Hearthstone' game, but I haven't done so far and am not planning do so (even though my scumbag brain is actively trying to convince me it is bound to happen..). Now I'm just going look for a few time managing apps instead. If you have any app suggestions or tips on smartphone usage in general I would love to hear them. So far I'm thinking khanacademy and duolingo Today's song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bc7JLP1PJeg
  4. Day 4 Today I helped out at my work with a side project before my actual shift started so I had to rise early again. I actually woke up at 6 am so I could prepare a good meal to start the day. For my job I have to interact with quite a bit of people. At the end of my shift the colleague that was going to take over in honesty told me that my breath smelled like garlic. Ofcourse that's not a nice thing to hear about yourself, but I appreciated the honesty immensely. I did in fact that morning ate a meal containing garlic, onions, minced meat and eggs. It was basically set in stone that I was going to have bad breath, but I wasn't aware of that fact till after my working day concluded. I was somewhat baffled that no one else I interacted with told me anything, but yeh...life. One of the things I started doing these past few days is listen to podcasts while I'm commuting to work. I haven't actively done anything else, but at least I'm consciously selecting some of the noise I'm exposed to. I had a good conversation with a colleague of mine who is depressed. There are quite a few similarities I share. He told me the following about him coming off the meds, which I felt very much applied to my own situation too. "When you lower the dose you are going to feel a bit worse for a time. As long as you are able to get through it, it's not wrong to feel that way. Remember that feeling bad and relapsing are not the same thing." (I might have changed it up a bit, but it was something along those lines.) I also want to share a song that really depicts the way I see myself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qFP-dsl2Z0 My interpretation: It's about deceiving yourself and others by presenting the one you think you ought to be instead of being honest to oneself. Being able to accept the you as you are now instead of spouting all that hot air. Not being able to accept my past for me I believe is the underlying root of my desire to find distractions that make me feel better on short terms. Anyways I was almost going to give up on making an entry today, because I had no inspiration. I'm pleasantly surprised. All in all I haven't been thinking about gaming 'that' much. This guy's still quite petulant and tired, but let's just say there's nothing wrong with that.
  5. Day 3 This is my third day without playing a game and so far I haven't thought about gaming that much. I do notice however that I've been quite tired and irritable. I also woke up quite early for work today. On the bright side, I was there very early as well and was more relaxed opening shop. I've been quite restless in terms of sleeping these last few weeks and like I mentioned before also took a quick nap after I finished work today. My main focus now is sleeping to balance out my current emotional state caused by sleep deprivation. I've also decided to go back to the gym starting tomorrow morning. I would like to share something I learned today while listening to 'the slight edge' audiobook. I always told my environment that I felt like I was stagnant in life and not moving forward. Today the book taught me that you are never in a static position. You either go up or down and by not consciously taking action it's most likely you are moving towards the latter. The magnitude of small actions daily have always eluded me, but I'm beginning to scratch the surface of how very important these baby steps actually are.
  6. Index Introduction Day 3 Day 4 Day 5
  7. After listening to an abridged audiobook version of 'The Slight Edge' I came to the conclusion that it is time. (Thanks for the recommendation Cam) I have little to say as of now and again this is just me solidifying the process. I'll probably edit this post for a future index and introduction and might reserve 1 or 2 more. Currently I'm quite tired and am just going to catch up on a little sleep deprivation I've been building up over the course of "quite some time". So guess I'll be back in a few!
  8. Hey Rick, Nice to see your journal on here. I haven't started doing so myself as the process is a little daunting to me. I see you also purchased the challenge module. Already skimmed through it a bit, but have decided not to go at it as well at the moment (probably for the same reason). I'm still on the fence on whether or not I want an accountability partner, but I will also actively follow your updates. I don't have any tips for journal keeping as I'm also looking for tips myself, but I found this method a while ago and hope it interests you. http://bulletjournal.com/ I like the creative freedom you as a writer/artist have with this method and even though it's not perfect (especially for future and recurring tasks) the structural part and rules seem like they'll do me very good (eg. rapid logging). I also feel like I wont obsess about a perfect app this way. <- While writing this I'm really starting to question my recent smartphone purchase.
  9. Hey Ironfly, Yeh I strongly believe it's a good way of making it more real this time around. Thanks a lot for showing the similarities in our process. How has it been on you so far? I notice that I'm on these boards a lot looking for updates and interesting reads to fill my time. I read your introduction before as well and saw you were also from (or currently residing in) the Netherlands :).
  10. Hahahahah, same here! If I can get my school work together before summer, I'm there! I'll just leave this one here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDrfE9I8_hs I don't travel a lot, but here are a few places I would like to go: USA (New York, California(SF & LA)) & Tokyo
  11. Heh, kind of along the lines of 'Your past does not define you'. Thanks for reminding me as I tend to forget that. Already a good one for the daily affirmations. I was already looking for a way to get my hands on a copy of 'the slight edge'. I'll add your other suggestion to my future reads as well. I actually believe a friend of mine has the latter one you mentioned in his possession. Guess it's time to get myself an e-reader! Although I do however prefer real books I currently have not the funds.
  12. I'll just leave my post here for future meet ups.
  13. Hey Laney, Thanks for reaching out. I actually haven't owned a smartphone up until this very moment as of the reasons you mentioned in your post. Coincidentally I actually just yesterday ordered one online as I felt it would be a good tool to assist me with my future scheduling/journalling. However I'm also pretty doubtful about it at the same time. I'll get back on the phone matter when I actually had some time to experience it. What strategy are you yourself using to manage your phone/web time? Today I have been snacking a lot (something I haven't done in days, nay weeks, nay months!) and binge watching Netflix pretty much the entire day. I clearly notice that I'm currently very much on the far part of the spectrum of wanting to be entertained. (Something Cam shared in the How To Stop Mindlessly Browsing The Internet video.) I always tried to rationalize that eventually I would read a line or hear those magic words that would send me flying off in the right direction. Making this process much easier. As you correctly noted this path will probably be anything but that. (I know this already, but have trouble accepting it nonetheless.) Whether or not it will be worth it to kick the habit is something I came to believe a result of using our creative energy to make it so. I hope all is well. ---- Disclaimer: I thank you all in advance for the supportive exchanges, but also want to let you lot know that I have a tendency of going off the grid.
  14. Hey everyone, This is Osei here! I'm a 25 year old guy from the Netherlands. I have been gaming from the age of 5 and have noticed it became problematic at about my 11th year on this planet. I'm currently just writing this introduction to solidify the process of quitting "again". I have a very destructive relationship with gaming and computer usage in general. This has had a very negative impact on all areas of my life, but when I'm feeling anxious about my current situation it is also the first thing I get back to to remedy my emotional state. Even after all these years on an emotional level I can not rationalize quitting. Most of the time I'm very anxious and I don't really trust people that much (myself included). I have no particular developed skill as of this moment and I use gaming as a way to distract myself from life. If I would have to compare myself to something that would best describe me it would be an 'on-and-off switch'. I just uninstalled the game I was currently playing, but previous attempts have made me highly skeptical. I have become somewhat bitter over the last few years and don't really know what to do anymore. Even watching these kind videos or reading general self-development material feels like mental masturbation to me. There is little to no action and I have a tendency to trivialize the small bites one "should" make to eat the metaphorical elephant. Here's me just hoping this is a step in the right direction. Well anyways that is it for now. Thank you for reading my introduction. ps: How should one according to you go about using the internet without relapsing to gaming? For me personally the triggers are immense. (extensions and other time control software haven't worked.)