Vlad

Good progress, man. Your weekends will more structured and interesting if you plan activites in the beginning of the week, especially if you include other people in your plans or join group activities other people have planned.

Day 19 A good work day. Some cash came in, good stuff, now I'm comfortable with the upcoming rent payment. I must clean up the previous period, get all the papers in order. I feel good about a new operationg cycle gaining momentum. I must put in writting all business processes, so that I can hire the right new staff by the end of August. I dream of traveling and having a neat, well-operating and largly profitable business, not gaming. Today I spent almost 4 hours on a single client, it may be silly, but I think it will bring really nice feedback and PR in return. I'm really worried about my management abilities. I can't keep the same scale and simply mark up my services, due to an agreeement with my exclusive partner who is the main source of the lead and prospect traffic for my business. I guaranteed a smooth workflow and I simply can't become a bottleneck in our joint efforts. I have to man up, grow and deliver as promised, it's scary as fuck. I even started wearing my old fat gold chain again as a constant reminder of my obligation. I don't wear it in the office though, I would hate if my employees thought that I'm underpaying them. The chain is just a coping mechanism for me, I don't have many others, as I've cut out gaming and junk food completely and I don't have time for other sports besides powerlifting. It's very bad that I skipped yesterday's journal entry, as I can barely remember yesterday. I will be more consistent int\ the future.

Day 18 A regular work day. Nothing interesting.

Are you assemling a white noise maker by yourself? That's really awesome! I'm with you on decluttering, it's really liberating.

Bros, thanks a lot! I'm always very glad to receive feedback from you. Being in good company makes my journey easier. @giblets I agree with your very logical point. My situation is a little bit complicated. I am a Russian citizen living, doing business and investing as a retail investor in Russia. Therefore I'm exposed to a significant country risk, which I find really unnerving. I'm at a point where I own my apartment and hold a somewhat diversified portfolio of stocks and bonds (but with a local broker). Our recent property taxation changes disincentivizes investment in real estate. So I have to break a capital threshold that would make international investment feasible. I'm thinking of opening an account with a US broker-dealer (something like charles shwab - no advertizing intended, probably there are way better broker-dealers). That's why I've been going on about diversification - the main part is eliminating country and political risks. Luckily I do have a US social security number from my college times in the US, that would make setting things up easier. This goal is a little too long-term to serve as an urgent motivation, but I always keep it in mind. I totally agree that a car is a fast-depreciating asset or even a rather useless expense. But I also remember the time when I squeezed every penny, reduced spending to a minimum, didn't buy stuff and drove my old car. Logically I understood that I was doing the right thing, but couldn't help feeling depressed. Even my family used to tease me that I looked like a deadbeat. After things got better with my business I became a little less tight-fisted, got a new car and started feeling much more energetic and optimistic. I'll try to work on these capital and material goals simultaneously. I will continue to exercise the rule of putting some money away for investment first and spending the remainder last. Sorry for a rambling answer, I want to reiterate that I appreciate your advice and will use it.

Welcome aboard)

Day 17 Today was a good day. I got carried away with my traveling dreams, but still managed to progress with my marketing endeavors. I also went to a Porsche dealership and checked out different variants of Cayenne SUV. It's way out of reach for now and is very stupid, but it may be something that inspires me to work harder and smarter. The idea of buying one goes against my conservative and saving-oriented way of thinking, but I must find an artefact that will ignite my fire and switch me into overdrive. Also I know where my way of thinking has led me so far, so may be I shouldn't be so stuck in my old ways. i didn't feel an urgent and passionate need to have a Porsche. I'll probably try a different approach - I will rent various luxury vehicles for weekends to play around with. As a result I expect to either start wanting to buy one of those cars or I will grow cold to luxury vehicles and move on to some other dreams for the near future. I guess the latter is more probable as I remember driving a Bentley Continental that my brother's friend gave me for a short spin and I didn't really enjoy it. Maybe it's because I'm no racer and like to drive safely. I prefer to channel my competitiveness into more constructrive fields. I've been in a traffic accident and know first-hand that there is nothing nice about them, so reckless and overly fun driving is not worth it at all. By the way the accident I was in had nothing to do with speeding or reckelessness on my behalf, but mostly with a thick ice crust and awith the other stupid newbie driver. It would have bene body bags with speeding added into the situation, I don't want to be involved with that on either side of the deal. Probably that experience is the reason why I want to drive a bigger car, it's just way safer in case of a collision. Oh, yeah, and no gaming today of course.)

I mean, your question was very reasonable, genuine. It is very hard to something you perceive as lacking meaning.

I do agree with you. In normal life they are rather far apart, but everything becomes nearby when in "tourist mode". Traveling is so exciting and convinient with all the planes, trains etc. Adding a few intermediate destinations for me is way easier than making time for separate trips, plus I enjoy journeys themselves.

Bro, I'm very happy to read your post. You're doing great, I'm so proud of you! I think fruits are just fine, I can't find any reasons to cut them out. Their sugar is digested in a different way form processed sugar. It's really heart-warming to learn that your mom's birthday dinner went very well.

NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming. It's about how to condition oneself to feel differently. Like you can stop liking chocolate and start liking some fruit at your own demand for example. The same goes for increasing motivation to achieve something and substituting unwanted behaviors. It's nothing complicated really, it's mostly about imagining outcomes really vividly and pushing them to sensible extremes in your imagination. These mental excersises tend to shift your perspective. The whole NLP thing is arguable, but it works for me, so I use it.

Day 16 An ok day. I got 2 insights recently: 1. My sleeping patterns automatically got better without gaming. 2. The number of my wants from real life went up greatly. I do believe in immortal soul, but I feel an urgent desire developing in me to make this worldly experience the best and the most interesting I can. There so many places ot be and so many things to do. The urgency also comes from a thought that it will all change when I get married and have kids. I can't postpone that forever. I've got to NLP the shit out of my need to build a solid managerial team. My work hours are finite and the way I'm growing now I will slave away until I'm dead. And I want a lot of stuff: I want to do acrobaticsi want to travel all around the globe (I've been to 42 countries and I want to see them all)I want to danceI want to sleep around (even with a safety-first attitude I'm still paranoid about being trapped into fatherhood)I want to have a group of jet-set buddiesI want to win something in powerliftingI want to look good and feel healthy and durableI want to be wealthy and not to worry about moneyI want to surfI could go on all day and night about the things I want. Now those wants of mine have a more pronounced feel to them as I don't have an escapist outlet anymore. So, all I have to do is stop talking and walk the walk. Previously my aspirations were more conservative and somewhat reclusive. I focused on building a strong safety net, but now I want to go out and experience life more.

I think it was a very logical question. Usually people develop skills to accomplish something, i.e. get paid, win a medal, impress somebody (including yourself), make life easier, etc. What do you want to accomplish by typing faster/better? Your question - why the heck do I do this crap?! - was legit

Totally agree with you giblets, showing up consistently is the most important part of success. It's very nice that you have such a good and supportive wife. I wish you to be very happy with each other.

@Hitaru @Cam Adair When and what city are you meeting up in? Where and when are you planning to surf? I'm trying to put my travel together: I want to meet up with you guys, surf a little in Portugal, visit Gibraltar and Andorra since they are nearby, and also visit Port Aventura in Tarragona.

Congrats on 2/3s of the Detox! Thank you for being an inspiration. Happy birthday to your mom!

5 kgs is very manageable. Please keep us posted

You got all the right reasons. I believe in your success, please keep posting and best of luck on your journey!

I second Bob. Sometimes you just have to reach the state of wanting change too badly to stay the same. Probably relapses are a part of that process. Best of luck this time!

giblets is very spot-on. The environment is a huge trigger.

I think Bob is super right about the forum. It's very good that you keep returning, it really takes will power. Props for that!

Maybe get some more mirrors then? I'm not trying to be mean. It's just that I never started changing before I reached my pain threshold. Better start earlier as personal standards slip more the longer you stay in an uncomfortable state.

Are you giving yourself a trophy upon completion of the marathon? I think that sort of accomplishment surely deserves a nice pretty trophy. May the power be with you.)

It's not silly at all! Who said you should not be happy with the way you are and the way you're making yourself be? Don't doubt God, he created us beautiful, it's only natural that you agree with God, right? It's not hurbis, it's well-deserved pride and obvious motivation. Keep at it and soon you'll become even better.

Awesome progress! And thank you for contributing to the world's knowledge base through Wikipedia.