giblets

That has a whole different meaning to us Aussies or British!

17 July 17 Game Free: 92 I am contemplating whether I still want my game free counter going or not. Whether it just becomes my daily journal of the "bullshit on my brain" (thanks Stone Cold) or if I need the counter to keep reminding me of the path. I have a countdown (or countup in this case) on my phone that achieves the same purpose. I will do some more reflecting on this mind pretzel too, right after I sort out how do deal with yesterday's problems! Maybe that is going to be the big shift for me post-90 days, is increasing the amount of meditating/reflecting I am doing to solve mind pretzels. That and I have started to call my issues 'mind pretzels' lol. Every time I say it I get a bit hungry though, if only we had an Auntie Annies here.... I am somewhat pleased about the cleaning out of the house I did yesterday. I threw out a bunch of stuff by taking the minimalists approach to it - just choose a specific area and focus on that and then let that spread to the rest of your house. I chose the bench in the kitchen which was covered in useless stuff, then moved to the office area. It's surprising how much it works and how easy it is - and with those two small areas I feel less frustrated and more comfortable in my house, rather than being embarrassed to the point where I hate being here, even if I am by myself. So what is my focus this week? Going to make a video blog of what I have learnt in the detox. Then I am going to keep on this cleaning kick, starting with my desk tonight in order to get my file server set up. That's another 'to do' item that I never got around to because gaming was so much more fun. I have forgotten how many times my wife has said she wanted a cloud/backup plan for her phone and I said I would do it with a RPi. I am beginning to be surprised that she has put up with all the excuses for so long! No soldering or electronics done on the weekend, prioritised friends and decluttering. I really only have this weekend left to work on it completely before it's study time with the new semester. I am not upset about that, because the intent has changed, it is a reward not a distraction.

Great to see another Linux user on the forums! What is your distro of choice? It is emotional at the start because of the whole "but I've spent so many hours on it and that's all I know" mindset, but after a week or so into it you'll feel rock solid.

A great TEDTalk was posted to the audio podcast list - "Why our screens make us less happy" by Adam Alter. Really relatable! Video link

I hope you wore sunscreen! Wouldn't want to get a bit... singed! I love the sound of your free lifestyle mate. Sounds so relaxing and would do wonders for your mental health. Are you planning on doing it for a while? I've been listening a lot to budget travelling podcasts, and one you might be interested in is Man in a Van. He has been living in his van for a year and is very interesting.

16 July 17 Game Free: 91 (17 Apr) I am on the other side of the 90 hill, though it is not downhill, there is just another hill! I have a lot of new challenges today as the euphoria of finishing the detox vanishes. I am growing frustrated with people not being as productive or focused on minimising as much as I am. I need to come up with a new strategy of how to deal with this. Has anyone else had this same problem? Is there some podcasts or books or blogs that would help me guide me through it? I have a feeling that if I don't put some new control measures in place soon I will start torching relationships. I am not going to change how focused I am on being productive, personal development and minimising, but I need to understand that it's ok for other people to not share those same philosophies. It is going to be harder the closer they are to me. Still haven't sorted out selling my Xbox. Not really sure of the market so I need to look into it some more. I really want it to be relatively easy because I don't want to sink a lot of time right now into it, but I don't see how putting it on eBay will work as I don't think it would fare very well in the mail. I think I need to go down the pickup route. My experience with game shops etc is the price they give isn't that great, I may as well just give it to someone who will get some value out of it if it comes to that. Listened to a great podcast today during my run. It was a TED talk by Adam Alter - "Why our screens make us less happy." So much truth and so many statistics that make me wonder why people still deny what our devices/gaming are doing to us. I guess some people don't want to believe, and there are groups that have a vested interest in keeping them as non-believers. Hopefully a good night sleep and some reflecting will help me iron out some of these mind pretzels.

The Slight Edge seems to be the talk of the town at the moment, sounds like something I need to check out! Let me know how you go with it and if it is worth prioritising!

I am surprised she doesn't see it as being productive old chum! Surely she is seeing you be more happy, getting more stuff done, or are you still locked behind your desk staring at a PC screen? She might not see that while your activities have changed, you're still displaying the same behaviours of being non-interactive, etc. For example, I became very self conscious of how much time I spent studying towards the end of the semester, as I replaced one activity where I never interacted with them with another. Even though I was being productive, my family still saw me as sitting behind the computer not talking to them.

Absolutely over the moon. Didn't think I would make it in the end! Just poured out all my thoughts into my journal but I couldn't miss the opportunity to post in the celebration forum Next post; 365 days!

Feel very happy that I get to contribute to this thread. I ticked over to 90 days today. 5 things I have learnt: 1) Dopamine can come from being productive as well. You don't need to be recreating to feel good, you can also feel great from accomplishing chores or tasks, or helping other people. 2) All these quotes about "living life" are talking about being in the moment. Put your phones down. Turn the tv off. Just enjoy being where you are and what you are doing. If you're not enjoying yourself, then move. Don't wish, do. 3) The flow state is a powerful thing. Gaming generates a flow state which is why you really feel like you're achieving something (spoiler: you're not). Exploiting the flow state is a force multiplier for development/productivity. 4) The earlier you get up, the more you can achieve in a day. Not just based purely on extra time, but forcing yourself to get up early and get on with life puts you in a great mindset for the rest of the day, and results in you living deliberately. 5) That this is only the beginning. As cheesy as that might sound (and it's a few song lyrics), 90 days only scratches the surface. We can't stop here, it's like eating an appetiser and you need to push on for the main course.

Addiction is addiction, no matter how big or small. You'll learn a lot from this relapse, what triggered it and why you're doing the detox, and bounce back even stronger!

14 July 17 Game Free: 90 (17 Apr) 90. 90. I did it! Pumped. I had a bit of a skip in my step today knowing today was the day. I left it quite late to write my post (about to go to bed rather than right after waking up) which put me out of sorts a little but here I am. I need to fix my weekend routine as I am generally unhappy with what I achieve (it is not enough) so I need to structure it similar to my weekdays and force myself to follow some kind of schedule. I'll think about it during the week. But wow. Did I think I would make it this far? No until I think I was in the mid 30s range. I relapsed initially on 22 days, and had similar struggle in the 20s again the second time round, but once I hit the 30s it was almost too easy from there. I think there was a number of reasons that played into why I managed to stick it out. 1) My relapse. When I embarked on the first attempt I did it with just one aim - to break the cycle of needing to game at the sacrifice of my study and my son. I didn't really have any tools or ways that I was going to keep me on track. I found out quite quickly that I could easily replace a time wasting activity with another time wasting activity. Before I knew it, I found myself with too much time and a whole lot of nothing to do (well, in hindsight I had study or chores to do, but my brain didn't see it that way), and I relapsed. I don't think I initially felt the ramifications of my relapse or reflected too much on it until I was working through my habit tracker and came up to my journal entry task, and looking at my journal I just felt so hollow, like I had taken a big step backwards. From there I learnt that the underlying reason that I really wanted to quit was because I wanted to live life to the fullest. Since that realisation, I have been knocking down productivity goal after productivity goal. The more things I can achieve the more I feel like I am living life, so I win. I think this was the best learning tool out of everything in the 90 days. 2) Meeting @Cam in Vegas. It turned out to be the highlight of the trip, taking over the main reason I was there (bachelor party all the way from Sydney). The statistics in his talk was mind blowing, the other people at the function/meeting/shindig were really great and very curious about the whole thing. When they knew I was in the mid 40s of my detox at the time, they asked some questions and told me to keep going. Having a very open and honest conversation with Cam after the presentation was good too. I found it easy to talk to him and a lot of the tools and things we talked about is what I had been researching in other areas, or similar to what my old psychologist was telling me on how to control my anxiety and how to basically be in the moment. That's when I knew he was 110% legit, and ultimately what I was trying to achieve was completely legit and worthwhile. I think at this point I really stopped looking at the detox as a path to give up gaming, but more of a personal development path, and giving up gaming was just a part of that. Side note - since the meeting in Vegas, I have not watching television at all. Not even streaming a show. Cam, and the support of this community, is changing lives; including mine. 3) That I am still capable of studying and producing tertiary-level writing. I felt like the joy I used to have from studying back when I was in school or when I had left school was returning. I felt motivated to study again instead of feeling like it was a chore. The last time I felt like that was before I made my first WoW character. I think this became the psuedo-feedback loop that substitued what gaming gave me, and my urges as a result became rarer and rarer. I began to study every day of 3+ hours, and even if I don't pass the subject in the end (still waiting!!!) I am glad I did it and I definitely learnt a lot, especially about minimising distractions and flow states, which I have also used at work. 4) My son growing exponentially. He has got more and more fun over the last 90 days, the last month in particular, and now he is not so much of a chore to be around. No more just a crying needing pooping blob, now he is full of life, laughter, adventurous and building his own personality. Maybe part of this is I have noticed it more and more rather than seeing him as a distraction from multiplayer games, or maybe it's column a & b. Subsequently a lot of the time I couldn't be bothered sitting at my desk at all let alone gaming as I would rather be chasing him around the house or doing something for him, such as making him a little box car to be pushed around in, or gluing toys that he loves back together. 5) My massive anxiety attack in the late 30s I think it was. It made me realise that the reason I got so hooked on games in the last 3 years again after a massive stint away from playing them was to try and avoid the anxiety symptoms or to escape them when life had become too much. But it was just masking the issue instead of dealing with it directly. There was no point me spending all this money on psychologists when I was not ready or not implementing the tools that he was giving me. I think the best thing that came out of my meetings with him was finally knowing what was wrong with me, rather than just thinking I was broken and irrepairable. I got a lot of self awareness out of this as well, which has only grown since then, and is one of my best tools I have now to try and control my emotions, particularly at work. 6) Reigniting old passions or hobbies. For me, this was my fascination with electronics that I never fulfilled even back when I was still in school. In hindsight I should have tried to get into electronics for a career, I think I would of loved it immensely, but I would not have been able to do the cool and crazy things I have in the last decade. I probably wouldn't be on this personal development path either. I did have a bit of a crisis with what I was trying to achieve out of my fiddling around with electronics, my intention for the activity, but I have it in the correct frame now. As a result I have barely touched my electronics for a few weeks, but that's ok, I have had other things that needed dealing with that I shouldn't be trying to escape from. 7) This journal. It was a great way to get my mind untangled and set for the day, as I wrote it as soon as I woke up every day. To me it didn't matter what I was talking about or if anybody bothered to read it, it was for myself. I realised this in the low 20s or high 10s days, when I was thinking about giving it up as I was struggling to see the point. Again, it's the intent piece. I really think a journal is great for anyone's personal development, it gets a lot of things off your brain that you might have otherwise been stressing about all day and impeding your productivity, because you couldn't focus. I also loved reading other peoples journals and learning how they were managing with their situations, especially @Tom2, @Mettermrck, @Mhyrion and ole @Moe Smith. 8) Running. It helped that I had already started training for a marathon, but I used running as a way to "reset" if I was having strong urges or I felt like I had a lot of free time with nothing to do (hello crazy brain again). After Vegas, I have been using it as a tool to get into my flow state, and I have been religiously running at lunch time ever since. The reason I chose lunch time is because I always struggle to pay attention in the afternoons, tending to just stare out the window or surfing twitter etc on my phone. By running at lunch time I was able to smash out another solid 3 hours of valuable work. I ran so religiously that when I was wiped out for weeks at a time due to sickness I think I was borderline depressed! Here's to staying healthy and keeping my momentum into the marathon. 9) Last but not least, my boy @Moe Smith. Though he has been my accountability partner for only a portion of the path (so far!), it has been great to talk to someone else in an almost mirrored situation, even if the majority of it was not about gaming. It kept my mind busy and made me flashback to the great memories of having a penpal for about 9 years, even if this one is a Utah Jazz fan. One day we will have a beer in person mate. So what have I learnt so far? So much yet so little. I still do not know what I do not know, but I do know that this is but the first step. I have so much unfinished business and so much personal development to go, that this day will just be a blip in the rear view mirror. Master Gibs, signing off, proud as punch

Only because the other half is in another time zone and still asleep You got this buddy. Don't go in with a hidden agenda and lay everything on the table. We will be waiting for you when it's all done as your cheerleaders! I'd say go visual on us being in cheerleader outfits to keep you relaxed but you don't want to see @Moe in a skirt and pom poms.

The good news is that once your brain has rewired to only eating healthy, you don't have to put any more effort into it as you will only crave healthy food and think junk food tastes terrible and makes you feel bloated. I don't know how long it will take, doubt it would be 90 days, but it will be worth it in the end! The one part that they have in common is removing yourself from the environment. With gaming we uninstalled our games or disposed of our machines all together, and with eating it would be not going to where the junk food is and go to salad bars or supermarkets instead (although supermarkets still have it, bad example maybe).

I am fascinated about how you can make yourself study for so long, what is your secret? Do you take breaks at all?

14 July 17 Game Free: 89 (17 Apr) Wow, here it is, detox eve! I thought I had a bit more time. I have been thinking about what the 90 day mark means to me, and up until now I thought it didn't mean much, but now as I sit here and type this I think I am a little bit excited. The reason why I didn't think it ill mean much I will save until tomorrow, otherwise I won't have anything interesting to write about then Yesterday was "balls to the wall" busy. I got up early, hangover and all, and got all my admin/streaks out of the way. Worked for 4 hours afterwards, then made myself go for a run at lunch time for an hour. Then, for the first time in weeks, I actually had a productive afternoon as a result. Completed all my reports, called a few people, and told a telephone scammer to beat it. I really wanted to keep my productive streak going but family came first and helped them out for the majority of last night. That's still productive in a way. Had absolutely no gaming thoughts or unproductive thoughts in general, which was fantastic. I put it down to being in the flow state for the majority of the day, which was great. I am still waiting for my university marks. Getting quite frustrating now. Not even a peep out of the lecturer or organisation why they are taking extra time. Ultimately there is no issue with them releasing it a week later in the grand scheme of things, but that last assignment made me quite nervous so it would put those concerns to bed. Looking forward to the weekend to try and get some personal tasks done around the house. My contribution to chores has dropped off a little this week so I need to pick that up again, as well as do some soldering, which I will only let myself do as a reward rather than an escape. One of those chores is going to be sorting out the amount of stuff here around our desks - it is unsightly. And putting the Xbox on eBay, I am looking forward to getting rid of it now. My garden has pretty much died out the last few weeks except for the passionfruit tree, I think it has been far too cold for everything else. Noting that was attempt number 4 to try and get a solid garden going, I am not going to send any more good money after the bad! Time to focus on other things and keep buying vegetables at the supermarket!

Crushing it Moe! I think the biggest contributor to your path was your relapse. You are definitely a lot more determined this time around and have a clear defined schedule/timetable. With the amount of stuff you are doing the 90 days will be a blur, just don't burn yourself out mate! If you go constant "red lining" then eventually you might blow a gasket. Have you still got a method or task to relax? Is that your reading time?

13 July 17 Game Free: 88 (17 Apr) Foam roller is a good idea @Cam! Didn't even think of that as a solution. I'll try to grab one today somewhere. I don't even have a mat to use termporarily. So here I am, back up again at 5am, building that streak back, even when I am hungover! Which brings the topic of me not drinking anymore back to the forefront, it's something I think I need to do some more thinking about. I lose so much productivity during and after I go drinking that I tend to regret that more than anything else. Last night was a lot of fun though, but time to buckle down on projects at home and calm down a little bit. Still no uni results - it is killing me! They should have been released two days ago. No idea why mine are not up yet, but my assignments did seem to take a little bit longer than normal to get marked and back to me so maybe it is just the lecturer. I'll try and ask a few others I know that were studying last semester and see if their results are up yet. Had a bit of a 'so-so' day yesterday. It started off well and then tapered off quickly, probably because I was in a flow state in the morning but completely out of it by the afternoon. I need to rebuild the habit of running at lunch time, as at the moment I am aiming for after work and that never really works for me, I am generally in a bad mood when the day ends and/or tired so don't have much interest in running. Sure I could push myself to do it but I never get the results I want when I am feeling like that. It was pouring down with rain during lunch yesterday so I didn't have many options, but I'll try to get it going today. It is going to be a very busy day today so it would be good to spend the majority of it in a flow state. Need to throw out/minimalise some stuff in the house. It frustrates me how much stuff we have in our house, which ends up just being messy. If there is less stuff, then it's not possible to have it all lying around! First things first - time to sell the XBox. I should of done it as part of the Respawn but I couldn't bring myself to do that so I just packed it all away in the garage. I'm not going back, so may as well get a few bucks for it.

Well here is to smashing through that milestone so I have one less thing to think about! 12 July 17 Game Free: 87 (17 Apr) Here I am, back up at 5am, getting my flow on. It's been a little over a week so I am very happy with myself. I've also been back running 2 days in a row, although yesterday was only a light jog as my legs are a bit sore from the day before. I need to do some research into some stretching techniques, I think the main reason I am so sore in some areas is because I don't stretch properly. Or at least that's what my work colleagues say It's been a crazy 24 hours again. I am not progressing much at work, or at least it feels like it, even with my new notebook. Just far too much going on that needs my time; it's not bad things that is a waste or procrastination, but answering phone calls, questions, helping family, etc. I have rewarded myself with surviving and not getting emotional at everyone by ordering some new electronics parts. Probably unneeded, but I think the projects will be fun and if I can get them completed then it is a testimony to how productive I have become without games. First on the agenda is a white noise maker built inside a mints tin for my son, at the moment we use an old phone which is setting a bad precedent as he is trying to use it all the time. I would like to set up a website to hold all my projects, so I might add that on the to do list. Still waiting for my studies result! I am starting to get a little bit excited for the next semester, I am eager to show what I can do without the gaming distraction. I am certain I can get my results back up to the Credit range. If I can, then next year I will aim for Distinctions to finish off my degree on a good note. Have been thinking about what my new target or aims or generally what life will be like the post-90 days. The end result: I don't think I am going to change anything. To quote Joe Dirt, I am going to "keep on keeping on".

Of course they are going to say your work is awesome, if you're doing 7 hours of study a day it is bound to be! So impressed buddy.

11 July 17 Game Free: 86 (17 Apr) Wow it's been a while since I have posted! I am still alive people! I think that is the longest I have gone without putting a post into my journal. There are a multitude of reasons why I haven't been writing (but I have been reading!) which I will get into shortly, but I have been keeping myself busy. I haven't been able to get into my regular flow states at all until yesterday which is part of the problem I think. Without further ado: 1) I still have had lingering symptoms of being sick. I have been dealing with it by sleeping as much as possible, but when I was awake and up and about I found I was quite lethargic so I was doing the minimum to get by. That should all change now that I feel well. The doctor I saw last week (I saw two to get a second opinion) has suggested to get a blood test to see if there is any underlying issue with me getting sick so often. The plumber I had last week also said that there is a more regular flu injection that he takes once a month that results in him never getting sick. I need to look into that as well. 2) I haven't been getting into my flow state at all. I haven't been having my time to myself in the morning which has been throwing off my prep for the day, and I haven't been running at lunch time either which has resulted in my days been more difficult and less productive than normal. I have fixed that by getting running again yesterday, and being somewhat happy with my speeds, but still need to get my morning routine back on track. 3) I am upset that I might have lost my momentum with my marathon training. I had a few weeks up my sleeve spare with the training program I am following but now due to being sick so much that has all evaporated and I'm up against the wall. I have started getting doubts in my mind whether I will be ready and whether I will be able to stand the pain for so long. I have been getting a sore lower back on the longer runs, about 15-16km, which worries me that after 42km I'll be a cripple. 4) All signs are pointing towards a member of my family suffering depression, and I don't know what to do about it since I live so far away from them. This is something that I don't think I can influence and it makes me feel helpless. I still haven't worked out what I can do here, I don't think my finances right now would let me go see them and there is too much going on here to get some extended time off. 5) Some people around me aren't as resilient as I am and that stresses me out when they break down or get emotional. I do my best to help them so it ultimately doesn't throw my day out but it is not very effective so far, it is going to be a long process. When I get stressed out from them getting so emotional I need to change my environment, which generally involves me leaving the computer. 6) The more and more productive I am becoming and wanting to spend less time on my phone and consuming content, the more I am becoming aware of how much my wife spends on her phone and how unproductive she is, which is causing me to get frustrated. It's not really possible to address with her now as she gets emotional about it so I have just been internalising it. I am a little worried that I wont be able to do this forever and I'll either get a stomach ulcer or a rift between us. 7) I keep getting these stupid "I'm a healer" thoughts randomly, showing me that 86 days has not been enough. I still have these tendencies to think about games in my every day life. How long am I going to have to freakin deal with this until it goes away? Is it ever going to go away? I don't know what else to try and implement to make those thoughts go away, obviously just giving up is not the complete answer. Wow so that has been my week-ish since I last posted. Still not playing games but not in a good mental state either. Getting myself back on the path so here is to getting back in my flow state today and beginning to get my mind under control and not letting it spiral unhindered as I have allowed it to the last 4 days.

Beca?

Holy moley that is a lot of effort! Having that weighing down your brain must have been slowing you down a lot mate, must feel like a huge weight is off your shoulders. I need to get better at flow charts, I'll use this as motivation

Hey mate! Glad to see you have smashed the 90 day detox already, that's impressive. I'm still working on it. I think everyone's situation is different, but from what I can gather on the forums is that gaming in moderation for the majority of us doesn't work. It's similar to an alcoholic only having one beer! Never happens. I have found that when I even talk to someone about games or go to a couple of websites, it's all over for me for at least the day. All over as in, I lose all productivity and just sit around thinking about the good old times. Would your family be upset if you didn't play socially with them?