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About B_Lestrange

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  1. I wanted to report two things today: I went through my journals going back to 2015. Between then and February of this year I think I mentioned gaming -- and how much I hated myself for doing it at the expense of having something resembling an actual life -- at least 50 times. 🙄 My current web development class assignment is to create a simple blackjack game using Javascript. 😆 It's a different (and FAR more challenging) experience building a game than playing one. It's also -- dare I say it? -- kind of cool.
  2. Thank you. I'm inclined to agree with you about the dangers of re-exposure. That said, in about three weeks I'm going to visit my nieces for the first time since before the pandemic started. They have always known me as a gamer (among other things, of course). If they ask to play a video game with me I'll probably say yes. We'll see how I do. Good luck with your 90 day detox! Hang in there. Very good point. Thank you so much. Also, I used to meditate...that's something else I'd like to get back into.
  3. So yeah, it's been a while...but I wanted to share that today, I completed the 90 Day Detox. 🙂 What finally made me do it? Several things, but in general the realization that life is way too short, I'm not getting any younger, there are still a lot of things I want to do before I leave this plane of existence, and I don't have the luxury of beating myself up anymore. I actually hadn't planned on doing 90 days. I woke up on February 1 feeling super sad about everything and in an attempt to take some kind of control I said: "Just for today, I'm not going to play any video games." I too
  4. More great insight...thank you so much. I am regularly reminding myself of why I'm doing this and where I'm trying to go. I keep telling myself I need to take a morning or afternoon to really chart out my path, but I've been very busy these last few days with work and other commitments. On the bright side, I've been too busy to play games, lol. I should be able to take the time at the end of the week after our releases go out. Last Sunday I dreamed that someone put a laptop in front of me with a game on it (don't remember which one; it had a lot of primary colors) and I started playing it
  5. I have to work tomorrow so I took today off. Normally I would have spent a big chunk of it at home playing games. Instead, I ran a bunch of errands, practiced for a couple of holiday concerts that are coming up, talked with my neighbor, cooked a couple of meals, and prepared gifts for family and friends. Gotta be honest, though: Right now I really, really want to play a game. It's what I'd normally do after a long day. Again I'm telling myself, what's the big deal? and again I'm hearing myself answer: the big deal is that there's more to life and you're missing it. Is it okay if I pl
  6. Thank you for the feedback. Much appreciated! This morning I was thinking about what I'm going to do over the Christmas holidays when my niece asks to play a game with me. We've played all kinds of games for years and it's one big way in which we bond. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it... --- Normally I would journal at the end of the day but I wanted to write this down in case I forgot: For most of my life I've had a recurring, relatively infrequent nightmare in which I'm in a vehicle, usually a car, that goes over a cliff. Before I learned how to drive, I would be in
  7. Bunch of stuff today, lots of mixed emotions. This morning I got to listen to some of my coworkers talk about their own Thanksgiving spent gaming. Some of them have family and friends who are older than me for whom gaming is an enjoyable way to spend time with people. I was angry at myself (You're making this a bigger deal than it is. There's nothing wrong with gaming. Everybody does it!), then ashamed (You weren't put on this earth to waste your valuable time playing games that you won't even remember a month from now), then sad (Am I going to have to be one of those people who avoids ga
  8. Still having urges to play, particularly during downtime, but knowing I was going to write in here at night kept me on the wagon... I'm kind of amazed at how much time playing games sucked up. Without games, I find myself with a lot of free time in the evenings. It's not like I don't have things to do with that time -- in fact I can come up with a long list of things I can do with that time -- but I struggle to focus and in the past that struggle has often led to me throwing my hands up and playing games. I have seen mention of the Pomodoro Technique on this forum. I have used this o
  9. By getting straight up with the alarm and not lying in bed playing games, I got a great start on the day. I was able to get some of my normal (offline) journaling in before heading off to work. It was my first day back after a week off. This message popped up on my screen about 30 minutes after I logged on: I had to laugh...Microsoft Solitaire Collection was one of the five apps on my Most Used list in the start menu. I almost always played during lunch and sometimes during videoconference meetings (don't tell anyone). Needless to say, I uninstalled it from my work laptop.
  10. So yeah, it's been a while... I had all of last week (Thanksgiving week) off from work and I'm embarrassed to admit how much of that time I spent sitting on my ass playing games. For the first half of the week I was actually in a different COUNTRY and yet I still ended up spending a couple of hours on my phone each evening. You know how sometimes you can hear or read something that is so true that it knocks you back a bit? Sometime in the last few days a thought occurred to me: Video games are my kryptonite. It doesn't get much more real than that...and what's really amazing is that
  11. The first thing I thought of when I entered this part of the forum and saw all the newer posts was, "Daily means DAILY." I get it... So yeah, I fell off the wagon. I'm sure these sound familiar: "I've had a long hard day and I need to unwind. Playing games for an hour won't hurt." "I'll just set a timer and when it goes off, I'll get up and do something else." "I can manage this! It doesn't have to be a big deal." Etc., etc. I don't think I'm ready for the actual 90-day detox yet. A couple of Cam's videos (which I haven't watched yet but plan to) speak to something that's been a particular tho
  12. *rolling up pajama sleeves* Technically today is the end of Day 2. Day 1 was relatively easy because I was busy all day helping with and then attending the annual neighborhood Fourth of July party. It was lots of fun, as always. There are a lot of elderly people here and I often marvel at how, the older I get, the younger they seem...and I mean that in a good way. I suppose it may have something to do with convergence. Anyway, I woke up before the alarm as usual and because I'd deleted my games from my phone, I didn't play them...but I did spend a good 45 minutes on Facebook (FB). I'm at my me
  13. Thanks! Simply reading these threads is making me feel better. See above. I'm sure you already know you're providing a really great and important service to those of us who are trying to make the most out of our lives. As one of the newest members, I'm saying thank you in advance. Thanks! You know how they say hindsight is 20-20? It certainly is for me. I'm guilty of not taking video game addiction as seriously as I probably should have. A big part of that is because I have people in my extended family who have struggled with alcohol, drugs, and/or overeating. Video games can't kill you phys
  14. I was 10 and my parents bought it for me but anyway...that should give you an idea of how old I am and how long I've had this Achilles heel. No, I have not been gaming continuously for 40 years. Rather, I have had periods in my life where gaming basically took over. I'm in one of those periods right now and that's why I sought out help online. Cam's TEDx video led me here and I'm happy it did. Like him, I found previous sets of advice largely unhelpful. I knew, though, that this type of community would come eventually. I have been to therapists off and on over the years but I never brought up