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LilChenChen's Journal


lilX

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Time when I bought Respawn: 4:47 6/17/2016 

Day 1 (half day)

Daily: 

Workout: 1hr

Healthy Eating: 6/10 

Hygiene: 7/10

Mindful: 2.5/10

Sleep: good

wake: 9am

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 0

News Reading: 0

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

I'm reading Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. It's recommended by Bill Gates and it's one of my favorite books so far. 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Day 2

Daily: 

Workout: 20 minutes

Healthy Eating: 7/10 

Hygiene: 6.3/10

Mindful: 3/10

Sleep: good, 12pm 

wake: 9am

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 1 can of cola

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 45 minutes

News Reading: 4 minute

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

Not watching porn is very difficult. I stopped watching because in the book "The Science of Trust", M. Gottman, PhD says watching porn is like cheating. I don't think my girlfriend agrees with that, but I do believe that the relationship will become better if I stop watching porn. I am not going to masturbate either. This is so hard. Anything can trigger my desire to watch porn or masturbate as I have not been doing that for the past week. 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Quitting porn will definitely be a positive for your relationship. 

Thanks for reading, and thanks for the helpful responses :) 

 

Day 3

Daily: 

Workout: 45min

Healthy Eating: 6.9/10 

Hygiene: 7.3/10

Mindful: 3.5/10

Sleep: 7pm to 8pm, 10:30pm to 5:45am, took nap 8am to 9am next day. 

wake: 6:20am

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 0

News Reading: 5 minute

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

One of my triggers to playing games or browsing the internet is feeling angry, because games distract me from what I am angry about. I felt angry at times when driving back from a father's day brunch today. I was just thinking about some things, that happened in the past with a co-worker. My mind tends to wander with its own narrative. Lately I have been telling myself to refocus on the task at hand whenever my mind wanders. Even when I am doing menial tasks such as driving, I can improve myself by training my mindfulness and focus. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Hi there and welcome to the forum!

. Actually quitting porn is a good idea. I quit porn lately and limited masturbation to around 1-2times a week and my wife and me benefit from this in my opinion.

If you want to train your mindfulness, Meditation is a nice way to do it. Try out headspace if you are new to it. They have free 10min  guided meditations you can do every day in the morning or in the afternoon. Another thing you could try to let all the anger frustration and other emotions out, is to journal every day. Just write a fixed number of words for yourself. This is an outlet for all these thoughts and after writing them out it is much easier to let it go. You process your thoughts in that way.

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Hi there and welcome to the forum!

. Actually quitting porn is a good idea. I quit porn lately and limited masturbation to around 1-2times a week and my wife and me benefit from this in my opinion.

If you want to train your mindfulness, Meditation is a nice way to do it. Try out headspace if you are new to it. They have free 10min  guided meditations you can do every day in the morning or in the afternoon. Another thing you could try to let all the anger frustration and other emotions out, is to journal every day. Just write a fixed number of words for yourself. This is an outlet for all these thoughts and after writing them out it is much easier to let it go. You process your thoughts in that way.

Thanks. I am starting a journal and I have just done 10 minutes of headspace.  

Day 4

Daily: 

Workout: 1 hour 

Healthy Eating: 7/10 

Hygiene: 5/10

Mindful: 3/10

Meditation: 10 minutes

Sleep: 10:00pm 

wake: 8:15am

Journal: done

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: cappuccino flavored tofu 

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 3.7 hr

News Reading: 20 minutes

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

My internet browsing was triggered by turning off the block for youtube on my computer, which was triggered by craving to listen to music while trying to figure out how to do a a hard homework question. I will continue to block youtube on my computer and only listen to music or instructive videos on my phone. 

Maybe there is a way for me to stop turning 10 minutes of internet browsing into hours? 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Day 5

Daily: 

Workout: 20minutes

Healthy Eating: 4.6/10 

Hygiene: 6.5/10

Mindful: 3/10

Meditation: 0

Sleep: 9:40pm

wake: 6:50am

Journal: done

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 0

News Reading: 20min

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

I edited out my log on when I masturbate because this could haunt me in the future, and some people who are browsing this forum may prefer not to see this. 

 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Hi. This is great! I like how you've set out your journal and your self-ratings.  

By the way I love Gattaca!!

cap07gattaca.jpg

Thanks. Glad that someone recognizes the movie lol on my avatar. 

Gattaca was very inspirational for me when I was a kid. 

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Hi. This is great! I like how you've set out your journal and your self-ratings.  

By the way I love Gattaca!!

cap07gattaca.jpg

Thanks. Glad that someone recognizes the movie lol on my avatar. 

Gattaca was very inspirational for me when I was a kid. 

I still haven't seen it. Time to watch it maybe :)

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Day 6 

Daily: 

Workout: 1 hour 20minutes

Healthy Eating: 7.3/10 

Hygiene: 5.5/10

Mindful: 2.9/10

Meditation/Yoga: 10 minutes

Sleep: 9:40pm

wake: 8:50am

Journal: done

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 1 minute 

News Reading: 5 minutes

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

I find that I have been more productive and getting up much earlier nowadays. Cam, your program and the forum has been extremely valuable for me, and it's only been less than a week. Thanks so much! I really appreciate it. 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Hi. This is great! I like how you've set out your journal and your self-ratings.  

By the way I love Gattaca!!

cap07gattaca.jpg

Thanks. Glad that someone recognizes the movie lol on my avatar. 

Gattaca was very inspirational for me when I was a kid. 

I still haven't seen it. Time to watch it maybe :)

It also inspired me to be a little too obsessive with my goals. Or maybe that's just the way I was. 

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Hey!

The setting of your journal is terrific! I really appreciate I've just read that because I need to implement something like this into my own!

It's the best way of tracking compulsive behavours and your goals too! Thanks man for that kind of inspiration!

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

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Hey!

The setting of your journal is terrific! I really appreciate I've just read that because I need to implement something like this into my own!

It's the best way of tracking compulsive behavours and your goals too! Thanks man for that kind of inspiration!

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

Hey Mad Pharmacist! This format helps keep me accountable. Glad you found inspiration from it! 

Day 7 

Daily: 

Workout: 17 minutes

Healthy Eating: 7.1/10 

Hygiene: 7.3/10

Mindful: 3/10

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 0

Sleep: 10:15pm

wake: 7:10am

Journal: done

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 5 minutes

News Reading: 4 minutes

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

I spent 3 hours trying to fall asleep yesterday. I kept thinking about conversations. Sometimes I thought about events in the past that made me angry. In the past, this would cause me to play computer games and watch porn. I am going to keep a journal by my bed to prevent this from happening in the future. Meditation may help with this over the long run. 

Let me know if you have any advice or suggestions on anything I am working on. Thanks! 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Well, let's say brutal truth: Porn industry is fake in every aspect.

Just ask yourself: Do you wanna have a wife that is porn actress? They're taking drugs to survive so long scenes in the movies, making breast augmentation surgeries (so they have scars on their breasts), and destroy themselves by long-term contraceptives.

So, remember my words whenever you'll feel an urge to watch porn.

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If you're having trouble sleeping make sure you have f.lux installed on your computer, no caffeine 7+ hours before you want to fall asleep and a sleep mask also helps me a lot!

I physically destroyed the power chord on my home laptop to stop playing games. I will try the sleep mask though. Thanks Cam. 

Well, let's say brutal truth: Porn industry is fake in every aspect.

Just ask yourself: Do you wanna have a wife that is porn actress? They're taking drugs to survive so long scenes in the movies, making breast augmentation surgeries (so they have scars on their breasts), and destroy themselves by long-term contraceptives.

So, remember my words whenever you'll feel an urge to watch porn.

Good point. Thanks Mad Pharmacist. 

 

Day 7

Daily: 

Workout: 1.5 hours

Healthy Eating: 6/10 

Hygiene: 6/10

Mindful: 3/10

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 0

Sleep: 11:45pm

wake: 9:30am

Journal: 0

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 0

News Reading: 0

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

Keeping a journal by the bed and trying to be mindful or meditate when I am trying to fall asleep helped. 

 

Thanks for reading. Let me know if you have any advice or suggestions on anything I am working on. 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Day 8  

Daily: 

Workout: 2hours

Healthy Eating: 5.5

Hygiene: 7/10

Mindful: ?

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 0

Sleep: 10:00pm

wake: 7am

Journal: 0

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 1 minute

News Reading: 0

Porn watching: 0 

Day 9

Daily: 

Workout: 7hours

Healthy Eating: 5

Hygiene: 7/10

Mindful: ?

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 0

Sleep: 10:30pm

wake: 7am

Journal: 0

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 1 minute

News Reading: 0

Porn watching: 0 

Day 10 

Daily: 

Workout: 0

Healthy Eating: 4/10 

Hygiene: 1/10

Mindful: 2.7/10

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 10 minutes

Sleep: 11pm

wake: 8:45am

Journal: done

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 2

News Reading: 60 minutes

Porn watching: 0 

Thoughts/Feelings:  

Stayed over at gf's this weekend. 

I went hiking with a group of new friends and my gf yesterday. It was a 7 hour hike and I know I was challenged because I am so tired that I can barely walk now. 

I learned not to argue with my girlfriend or anyone in public yesterday (I'm new to social interactions so I actually don't know these things). 

Today my main goal will be to develop my focus on work and studying. 

 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Day 11

Daily: 

Workout: 0

Healthy Eating: 5/10 

Hygiene: 3.5/10

Mindful: 2.6/10

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 10minutes

Journal: done

Posture: 3/10

Sleep: 11:20pm

wake: 7:50am

 

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 0

News Reading: 15 minutes

Porn watching: 0 

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

Added posture to my daily. 

10:20pm felt an urge to play games or read manga but going to bed now. 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Day 11 

Daily: 

Workout: 0

Healthy Eating: 6.5/10 

Hygiene: 6/10

Mindful: 2.7/10

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 

Journal: done

Posture: 3.4/10

Sleep: 11:05pm

wake: 9:00am

 

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 10  minutes

Mindless News Reading: 2 hours 10 minutes

Porn watching: 1

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

I just finished an exam yesterday and got a large block of free time today and fucked up and watched porn and read the news for hours. 

I'm coming up with worthwhile backup tasks now that in case if I get a large block of time in the future, as well as redoubling my efforts to reach all my daily and to quit goals. 

Edited by LilChenChen
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Day 12 

Daily: 

Workout: 14 minutes

Healthy Eating: 6.8/10 

Hygiene: 7.5/10

Mindful: 3.1/10

Guided Meditation/Yoga: 10 minutes

Journal: done

Posture: 4/10

Sleep: 9:45pm

wake: 8:40am

 

 

To Quit: 

Caffeine: 0

Gaming: 0

Internet Browsing: 5 minutes

Mindless News Reading: 30 minutes

Porn watching: 0

 

Thoughts/Feelings: 

Still working on my "daily" and "to quit" goals. Good luck everyone! 

 

Edited by LilChenChen
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