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I kind of want to give up now

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Relapse is a normal part of recovery. For alcohol addiction somewhere between 40-60% of users relapse. You have no reason to be ashamed.

I can understand why it might feel like failure or that your recovery has gone backwards, why things might seem hopeless. Take your time in honoring those feelings. When you're ready, you can learn from this, and do it better next time.

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