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My Journey to Recovery


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7/4/2020 - Day 36

To start off this entry: Happy 4th of July to everyone in the USA! 

Hope you are all having the best food and BBQ you all can have given the circumstances. 

Anyway, here's how today has been. 

Got chores done and spent time watching Law and Order: SVU for a good part of the day. 

Worked on a blue tram train in between and picked up learning Korean in place of Mandarin. 

Enjoying everything I am doing and truly enjoying life. 😄 Here's another LEGO build I finished two nights ago. 

Opel Blitz.jpg

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May 28 It's been less than 24 hours since i last got caught gaming. In all honesty, I've lost count of how many times I've relapsed, lied about it, and later got caught.  I started my journe

1/22/2021 Crap.... it's been nearly two weeks since I last wrote.  I got so caught up in the news and world happenings + general busyness at work that i neglected to write for a long while. 

1/31/2021 Wow, it's the end of January 2021 already. Time is flying by fast.  Well, in spite of time going by fast, the days are more or less the same. Maybe it's because its winter and I am

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7/5/2020 - Day 37

Today felt a bit more like a down day. It's been scorching hot where I am at so it's been hard going outside without the heat draining the life out of you in minutes. 

I mainly struggled with the fact that I couldn't spend July 4th with anyone as most folks I know in the area are doing their own thing + there were no fireworks so no one was doing anything as a group. 

At least I can talk to my parents about these things. It feels good that being a Game Quitter has made my relationship with them better. 

Gotta be positive. 

Anyway, here's a blue tram I built to finish today's entry: 

 

Blue Tram.jpg

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7/6/2020 - Day 38

Well, today was like any other work day. 

Worked from home today. Finally noticed how every task I have gets stretched out a ton due to using a remote desktop. But I got through the day. 

Looking forward to another day of being game free. 

Don't have a LEGO model render to post today. Working on an old fashioned trolley car at the moment. 

Spent more time today learning Korean and doing typing courses. 

Am planning on investing more time into finishing the model tomorrow after work. 

Until my next update, folks. 

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7/7/2020 - Day 39

Today was a busy day with work (or at least felt busy). 

I was extremely tired afterwards, but I feel like I accomplished something. 

Did my daily dose of learning Korean and progressed a bit on my next LEGO model.

Also working on details for a fanfiction series I intend to write for fun and not publish anywhere. 

Ultimately doing very well + urges and cravings are not that prevalent nowadays. 

Feeling good. 😄 😄 😄 

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7/8/2020 - Day 40

It felt like a productive yet somewhat tiring day today. Strange how being at home for work makes you feel more tired afterwards than when you are at the office. 

Today, I spent more of my time listening to music and reading. Didn't have the energy to do anything too mentally stimulating. 

As long as I never return to gaming. Things are going too well for me to return to that hellhole of a man made virtual world. 

Right now, I look forward to the weekend and meeting with my church small group to get some human interaction and company. 

I am in that mood where I am sensing I need it and need it badly. 

Two more days of work....

Will post my next LEGO model once I get around to finishing it. 

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7/9/2020 - Day 41

Today was a busy day. Felt good but overly tired mentally at the end of the workday. 

Did my usual activities of learning Korean and typing courses. 

Watched clips from Korean variety shows and got a genuine laugh out of the slapstick humor which is rather refreshing. 

Also, I finally finished the trolley tram I've been working on. 

 

Old Fashioned Tram Trolley.jpg

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7/10/2020 - Day 42

Today is a good day. Mainly because it's Friday. 

Anyway, had a productive day at work. Got a good amount of chores done and I am shutting down my computer early. 

EARLY! 

Mainly because I want to be lazy and lie on my sofa to read and watch the next repeat episode of Blue Bloods Season 10 a little later on. Funny how my definition of being lazy has changed since I stopped gaming. Now, it is a better picture of rest and laziness. XD

Main stuff I did today aside from chores was starting to learn some basic Korean, did more typing lessons, and started on my next Train model in Studio 2.0. 

Will be working on stuff more tomorrow. 😄 

Looking forward to sleeping in. 

To more days game free. 

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7/12/2020 - Day 44

I apologize again for not checking in yesterday. 

I was again busy with all my new activities plus having a church small group meeting in the evening. 

I finished another train model and learned more Korean + did typing courses. 

After I spent most of the day watching repeats of Law and Order: SVU as I do every Saturday. 

At small group, I ate a lot of good food, kept an eye on a bunch of cute kids, and had a good Bible study. 

Plus, I also took a big step and revealed my freedom from video game addiction to them. The more people know, the better. It will prevent higher chances of relapsing. 

I am glad they were all in agreement and support of my position of not gaming and the overall negative effects of it. 

In the meantime, I am continuing to enjoy my more connected life and all the good things I am truly experiencing. 

Working on a new train model and will post once I finish. 

NS 1000 Train.jpg

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7/14/2020 - Day 46

I neglected to journal yesterday mainly due to the aftermath of a severe migraine I had at work. Caused by being too hungry and my body decided to be a little kid and debilitate me with metaphorical screaming. The headache itself passed. The only issue was that I had to put up with the aftermath that consisted of extreme fatigue upon getting home and feeling like I got hit by a truck. 

Thus, I am writing a bit earlier today so i do not neglect to do it today. 

Anyway, onto today. Today was a productive day at work and I had a lot to do. 

Came home, took a walk, and practiced some Korean alphabet concepts while I cooled down. 

Will be eating nachos and working on my in progress train model for an NS 1200. 

To end this entry, here's a photo of wonton noodle soup (without dumplings unfortunately). that I made from scratch on Sunday and completely forgot to post on Sunday. It is a rather simple dish and I was proud of myself for it as my mom has been making it for me all these years and it felt good making a recipe passed down from my mom. 

20200712_114111.jpg

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7/15/2020 - Day 47

Today felt like a somewhat mind numbing kind of day. Not in the negative sense. More like I drank from a firehose at work with all the stuff I learned today and came home completely saturated. 

There were thunderstorms in my area for the later half of the day so I couldn't go for a walk, but it felt good lazying around at home. 

Didn't have the mental capacity to do much Duolingo or even starting my next LEGO model and instead opted to listen to Kpop and watch some Korean variety shows for some laughs.

Looking forward to bed and another day at work tomorrow. 

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7/16/2020 - Day 48

I am going to keep my weekday entries somewhat short since I spend majority of my day at work and have limited time to do things at home when it pertains to recreational activities. 

Work was busy in the sense that tasks are getting more detailed and take longer to do as there is a sort of ripple effect when a change is made to a model. 

However, I enjoy the journey and learning and the sense of accomplishment when something is finished or a problem is solved. 

Did my usual learning Korean and typing + started my next train model. Will post it to a future journal entry once I get it done over the weekend. 

Off to the last day at the office for this week before I get to work from home next week. :D 

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7/17/2020 - Day 49

Today was again another busy day at work filled with learning new things and continuing to develop as a design engineer. 

I also got an order from higher ups directed at the whole department about working from home indefinitely. Hopefully I can still have social interactions in other areas such as church small group for the time being. 

Only did learning Korean and typing tonight as I am feeling tired from the day at work and need to hit the sack early to wake up early for Law and Order: SVU season 13 repeats tomorrow. 

Looking forward to the weekend and finishing more LEGO models + doing some more cooking for myself and stocking up on food later for the coming weeks of working from home. 

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7/19/2020 - Day 51

I think I am going to resolve to not be extremely hard on myself if I fail to journal on some days. At least I know I am not gaming. 

I spent a lot of time yesterday watching Law and Order: SVU as I normally do every Saturday. I also worked on more LEGO models and got 3 of them done. I'll post one per journal entry to trickle them out slowly. 

I also learned more Korean, did more typing lessons, and continued with Python 2 lessons on CodeAcademy. 

To end this entry, here's another train: 

NS 1200 Train.jpg

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7/21/2020 - Day 53

Time has really flown by. I am now one week away from 2 months video game free!!! 

I am quite happy about it. Not letting myself get too prideful though. That tends to lead to letting down my guard too much. 

Now, onto my journal entry. I have been getting a bit bad at doing an entry every day nowadays. Mainly because I have established a routine with work on weekdays and recreational activities every weekend + church social small group meetings every other week. I've not even had the time to think about my past life as a gamer since I have become too busy with work and enjoying my new life. 

In all honesty, being a gamer is such a foreign concept to me. While I sometimes regret the time I wasted with games, I always remind myself of what I have gained with regards to better relationships, better hobbies and being more connected to my life in general. 

It feels good to be living the life God has given me to live and being more in line with His will for my life in not gaming. 

It feels good reminding myself of this regularly. 

Now, to finish off this entry: Here's another train. Got a couple more to trickle out before I start posting car LEGO models after I finish them. 

Looking forward to another day at work tomorrow. 😄 

NS 300 Train.jpg

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7/22/2020 - Day 54

Had a good, productive day with work. Filled with the usual problem solving and 3D modeling. 

I refer to things as being usual now as the novelty has kind of worn off. But truly, I love what I do and it is so much more worthwhile compared to my previous job. 

Currently looking forward to the weekend and mostly Wednesday of next week when my favorite Kpop group releases their next album. *Jumps up and down with starry eyed excitement*

Did my real life dailies with learning Korean, doing typing lessons and learning Python 2. It feels good having a proper routine and not gaming. 

To end today's entry, here's the last train. I'll be posting cars for a while and then deciding what to start with on the LEGO official models. 

NS 2400 Train.jpg

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7/24/2020 - Day 56

Working from home is certainly comfortable. The only thing I am NOT liking about it is that there is hardly any variance in my day. At least at the office, I am around people and it makes the days feel more different. 

This has often caused me to wake up feeling very mild urges and cravings to game, but I have learned to talk things over with my parents and resolve things in the right way. 

There have also been nights where I have had nightmares in which my dream self is gaming. Now that I am not gaming, such images actually horrify me rather than make me feel good. That tells me that I am not at all willing to return to that state and that I prefer to be the better adult that I am now. 

I've started calling my recreation activities 'Real Life Dailies' as they are tasks and items I attend to every day for my own development. It feels good doing good dailies rather than the useless dailies in video games. Learning Korean, coding, and touch typing is so much more worth it. 

To end tonight's entry, here is another product of my LEGO model building: 

The Automobile (AC Cobra Alt Version).jpg

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7/27/2020 - Day 59

Turns out I am particularly bad at making sure I journal on the weekends. I wasn't quite as forgetful about it prior to this. I need to get better at it or do it sooner. 

Doing real life dailies has been extremely fun and I intend to keep doing them. Work is full of business so the days go by quickly. 

However, I am starting to tire of all the Covid craziness and I wish we could all go back out again, meet with friends and family.... Just in general, more people interaction. 

Being at the office helped with the people interaction part. Right now, I have to contend with being at home. 

Today's events (aside from my dailies):

  • Worked a full 9 hour day (as per usual)
  • Did some chores after
  • Had a good lunch today consisting of potato skins fully loaded with cheese and bacon bits :D 

In essence today was another good day filled with no games. :D

Here's more cars I built:

Bulli.jpg

Bank Money Transporter.jpg

Acura NSX.jpg

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7/28/2020 - Day 60

Wow.... I only just realized that today is day 60. 60 days since I stopped gaming for good. 

The mere fact that counting days is starting to become less and less relevant just tells me this is my normal now. 

In all honesty, I am happy. I am proud of my accomplishment of making it this far and being strong in spite of working from home and not having much human contact. 

I intend to keep on going. Every day I don't game is a victory. 

I am thankful for making that decision on May 28th to begin this journey and I am determined to have it continue until the end of my life. 😄 

Here's another cool car to celebrate. 

Blue Striped Racer.jpg

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7/29/2020 - Day 61

Today was such a busy day. I felt completely drained after. However, I learned a new part of a process and I am glad I am doing and learning more things. 

I also made a couple chicken bacon ranch tacos just for funsies and they tasted good (although I drank too much water afterwards XD ). And again, it felt good making something I thought of myself. Sometime in the future I need to consider adding more items to my Wonton Noodle soup to make it even better. Pork slices maybe? I'll need to consider it. 

Aside from the above, I did my real life dailies and went to do a walk before coming home to settle down for the day. 

I mainly feel like settling down to read my Bible and read my current Alex Berenson novel before heading to bed due to feeling exhausted. 

Until the next entry. 😄 

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7/31/2020 - Day 63

Today was a good day with work. I got a lot of stuff done and met the deadline I set for myself. Thus I am happy yet a bit worn out from the effort I put forth today. 

I woke up from a not so good dream that involved my dream self gaming this morning with the screen right in front of my vision (as if my real self was experiencing this). Safe to say I was a extremely mortified as I actually recognized the sensations associated with high dopamine releases and I was asleep and not actually playing a game. 

Thank God for supportive parents. I talked to them while out on my morning walk and they talked me through it and out of it. As the day went on, I forgot all about it and moved on. 

The day ended well and I am going to spend the rest of the day reading my Bible and crime thrillers before going to bed. 

Looking forward to the weekend. 😄 

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8/1/2020 - Day 64

Today was a restful day (as intended). Spent the whole day watching Law and Order: SVU repeats as I do every week. 

It felt good after a long week of work which ended well with finishing tasks I had stated I would finish by a particular deadline. 

One thing I have seen thus far in my journey as a Game Quitter. I would not be doing as well with my job if I was gaming. I would not be learning Korean, taking typing lessons, and learning coding if I was gaming. In fact, my relationship with my parents and other people in my life would not be as good if I was gaming. 

I've gained so much as a Game Quitter. 

I would loose too much if I returned to the fake world of video games. 

On that note: Here's some more models that I put together today. 😄

Classic Car 2.jpg

Classic Car V3.jpg

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8/2/2020 - Day 65

Today was a somewhat relaxing day as I spent my time doing my real life dailies and finishing another LEGO model. 

I washed my bathroom. However, I procrastinated for at least an hour because it is my least favorite chore to do. In the end, I got it done. 

Other items I did was bake a frozen pizza and make some Kpop ringtones for my phone. 

All in all it was a good day. Starting another week of work tomorrow. 

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8/3/2020 - Day 66

Today felt like a draining day... 

Well, it IS Monday after all. But I got stuff done amidst a flurry of unlisted model changes I had to make. Definitely learned what the current engineering standards are as I go on with my job. 

Did my dailies right after I ended my work day and decided to write my journal entry early as I like to shutdown my computer and read for a while before going to bed. 

To end today's entry, here's another car model:

Custom Car.jpg

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@BooksandTrees

Hey. I apologize for this being late. I didn't see it until now. 

The software is Studio 2.0. It's completely free and has full functionality. Has Windows support. Has both existing bricks and even bricks from retired sets. The rendering engine (PhotoReal) is absolutely fantastic (as you can see in the renders I have posted). It's quite fun. You can build your own models or rebuild models off of existing building instructions. 

Studio 2.0 download Linkhttps://www.bricklink.com/v3/studio/download.page

LEGO Official Website Building Instructionshttps://www.lego.com/en-us/service/buildinginstructions/search?q=&sort=relevance

Edited by amchow
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