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PianoLearner
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Day 4 without games and today I started the respawn program, it's nice, I hope this will work.

Maybe I will come here everyday and post the day count, maybe I will just post what I did instead of gaming in a list in this post, I'm not sure yet.

 

We'll see, I will look at the other posts in the forum and get some inspiration, I think that this addiction can be dealt with with the help of others, even if they virtual.

Be well everyone

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Welcome to these forums. I have been back and forth quitting gaming for a stretch then playing games again for a longer stretch. It is my experience that it will work if you put in an effort. Really keep yourself motivated in any way you can. Take care. 

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Welcome to the forums!

I recommend reading all or part of my post documenting over 500 days without gaming. You should do something similar to what I did where you write down why you play games, why you want to quit games, and what your triggers are. It can help you begin to identify your emotions along this long road you're embarking on. It's not necessary, but a lot of people have found it helpful.

It's located here: https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/8392-almost-500-days-without-gaming/

I highly recommend people read my post about dealing with addiction during covid19 located here: https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/8597-covid19-coronavirus-and-gaming-addiction/

 

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Hello!

If there was a "featured" category for posts here on the forums, the two @BooksandTrees wrote would be there. Feel free to check out and post on a few other diaries or to even send a PM 🙂

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Day 5 : been studying/ working and taking some time with my girlfriend. It feels good to see so many replies.

I noticed that there is too many things I want to achieve and this was stressing me so I focused on "planning" what I want to achieve in 5 topics and how: School, piano, gaming, my girlfriend and career.

School: Finish this semester and get my diploma, that's it, no more no less, then it's finished and I can focus on other things. To do that I took 2 intensive courses and I'll be done in June.

Piano: I want to be good and feel good at it. To do that I need to master the pieces I already know. I also need to learn some theory(I'm self taught). This includes the following: learn the vocabulary, Scales/octaves, Signature identification intervals, chords (their formation, types), arpeggios and trills.When practicing,first I need to warm up with scales exercises, then I need to play the parts that I am having trouble with instead of playing the whole piece. I need to be focused when I play and avoid playing on autopilot. Of course, sometimes I have to play to enjoy the music. For now, I practice a little everyday.

Gaming: Fill the needs fulfilled by gaming with other activities. To do so, I need to identify those needs, list the activities that I enjoy and "assign" activities to those needs.When an urge comes, I have to identify which need needs to be fulfilled and do an activity that fulfill that need. Posting here everyday should help, It's nice to reflect on everything and gather the ideas in one place, I will post here at least once a day, minimal input is just the day count.

Girlfriend: TODO

Career: I'm new in my job, I'm a little bit set on my own, I need to develop a tool set to feel like I'm good at my job. As of today I can "work" but I can't perform and I do not know how I can do that. To do so, I need to develop a toolbox that can help me with that.

I'm still unsure how I want to use this journal, it is a great tool for sure.

Take care everyone

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On 5/6/2020 at 8:58 PM, Kona450 said:

Welcome to these forums. I have been back and forth quitting gaming for a stretch then playing games again for a longer stretch. It is my experience that it will work if you put in an effort. Really keep yourself motivated in any way you can. Take care. 

Thank you for the welcome, I hope you and I can get rid of our addiction for good. I will be sure to try that, I also feel like the more energy I invest in this, the more likely this will work.

 

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23 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Welcome to the forums!

I recommend reading all or part of my post documenting over 500 days without gaming. You should do something similar to what I did where you write down why you play games, why you want to quit games, and what your triggers are. It can help you begin to identify your emotions along this long road you're embarking on. It's not necessary, but a lot of people have found it helpful.

It's located here: https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/8392-almost-500-days-without-gaming/

I highly recommend people read my post about dealing with addiction during covid19 located here: https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/8597-covid19-coronavirus-and-gaming-addiction/

 

First, thanks for the welcome !

In 500 days without gaming, your life must have changed a lot, that is a very impressive journey that I am grateful I can learn from.

Thank you for the links, I will be sure to check these out.

20 hours ago, Ikar said:

Hello!

If there was a "featured" category for posts here on the forums, the two @BooksandTrees wrote would be there. Feel free to check out and post on a few other diaries or to even send a PM 🙂

Thank you ! It feels very good to see everyone so open and freely sharing advice

Take care!

M.A.

Edited by PianoLearner
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For me, it is easy to do life on "autopilot". The challenge is to be intentional with our time. That is where we will see the most results, because we are measuring and budgeting our time as a resource, rather than as something to be wasted.

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Hey welcome to the forums. Nice goals list. Maybe you can track them on here or put them up on a piece of paper on your wall. At any rate I look forward to hearing about how you're doing on them all. Write your reasons why you gamed and your reasons you want to quit. Respawn is good too if you want to try that.

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Day 6:Today I realised what is expexted from me at work when they assign me to a project.Basicaly, I have to "make it work" which means to coordinate with other teams in order to achieve the upper management goals. My mistake in the last weeks was that I was expecting upper management to take all the calls. The project is getting traction now and what we have to do is now obvious: Have those damn updated letters in production. I work as a business analyst, my job definition is often unclear.

 

Gaming: I sometimes think about games, nothing specific, just fragments of objectives I had in games. What is interesting is that, I do not feel the need to play yet. I do feel stressed tough, there is so much going on recently (courses started, project at work is intense, covid, dad is looking for a new place to stay) 

Piano: I selected an interesting piece I want to learn : Chopin Opus 28 No.4 Very easy to learn, sounds good, lots of expression possible. Before that, I want to keep practicing the songs I already know everyday for a week or so. 

School: The 2 courses I have will be intense, but I think I can manage, the courses are very easy and teachers are very good also. Only 5 weeks left now.

Career: Before I.seek more tools and techniques, I will wait for the end of the semestre

Girlfriend : Oddly enought, since I stopped gaming, it's going very well, I hope this will last 🙂

I have so much on my mind, I will dump some of it here everyday, eventually, my posts will take less time!

I feel better but a bit stressed

 

There is so much to achieve but I have to take it one step at a time. It would be impossible to become a piano god, a profitable forex trader, building a gym habit, learning to paint, becoming a senior business analyst and be the perfect boyfriend all at the same time. One step at a time, for now School, then piano it is

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On 5/8/2020 at 10:20 PM, PianoLearner said:

There is so much to achieve but I have to take it one step at a time. It would be impossible to become a piano god, a profitable forex trader, building a gym habit, learning to paint, becoming a senior business analyst and be the perfect boyfriend all at the same time. One step at a time, for now School, then piano it is

One day, one hour at a time my friend.  You got this!

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Day 7: Intense day, I went to visit some houses in the north of Quebec for my father to buy, we had a great time traveling and we talked a lot about his retirement and my future also. I'm debt free since last October, I have some money, he said the next logical step would be to stop renting and getting my own place. With the Covid, we are able to work 100% from home and because of that, I can look for houses that are remote from Montreal, where it is good to live (fresh air, lots of space, few people, lots of nature, very cheap houses). The thing is, because I focused so much on gaming, I never completed my driving license, and I need that and a car to be able to live in remote... So considering this, after I complete my semester, I will get my driving license.

Gaming: No urges but I still get some flash backs of gaming, not sure if I should do something about it. I'm very happy to see people reading this journal. For now, I try to just write here, I would like to participate more in the coming weeks, thank you, you guys are awesome :) 

Piano: Still practicing the songs I already know, I'm trying to perfect them and I'm doing a warmup before each play (C scale, 2 octaves, separated hands only)

New objective: Getting a driving license: To be completed after the semester, by practicing with my dad, by reviewing the theory, by practicing with an instructor and finally by taking and passing the exam. Afterward, I can think of getting a car, but first I have to get the license.

Girlfriend: We had an argument, I noticed that girls are much more affected by how (emotions) we say things than the things (words) we actually say. So if there is an argument, I have to understand which emotion she want to "share" and address that (by listening and understanding her). Giving logical arguments is pointless if I use a cold voice tone.

School: I finished my study for all the classes this week and prepared for the classes of next week  (which is an accomplishment because I used to avoid studying by gaming instead). 1 course will be very easy and straightforward. The other one, I have to plan how to study because the teacher has trouble explaining clearly, I will focus on studying the documents instead of what the teacher says.

Career: Nothing new, carry on.

There is a lot on my mind, ideas/ projects that keeps coming, I hope that in the next weeks, there will be less to say because, for me, this will mean it is "integrated" in my mind and I will be able to focus. For now, I have to adjust my workload with "work, school, piano and other objectives" to avoid getting over stressed and relapsing.

 

 

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Day 8 it has been a full week !

Gaming My friend kept asking me to play Starcraft 2 with him, I had to tell him 6 or 7 times "I will not play Starcraft" he gave up after but seems disapointed... What can I say, he doesn't seem to understand that games are bad for me and I have a problem, he only see that "we would have fun playing 2v2". I think he would, but I know for sure I wouldn't. At the end of the day, what matters is that I said no, which is something new to me, I'm used to be so agreeable.

 

School: I have nothing to prepare until tuesday 🙂 I'm up to date

Career: Nothing new, carry on

Piano: Been practicing, improvement were noticed in the hardest piece I know, I moss very few notes ! I am planning on improving my warmups with the book "elements of piano technique". It is a book woth exercices and guidelines for each exercice on hownto achieve it. I want to put the sheets in midi files to work with Synthesia.and the written guidelines in a word Doc to follow. This way, I could explore different warmups overtime and improve my piano technique !

Girlfriend: I had another fight with my girlfriend, she feel like I'm not giving enought attention to her. It is partly true these days, with the school + work I have little energy at the end of the day. I still try to have some time togherter everyday but sometimes I don't really feel like hugging/kissing... We discussed and we will try managing expectetions by planning my study time and my relax time. We'll see ! We also planned to travel this summer(which seems like a odd thing to do after a fight) I hope we can do it, it would be a great opportunity to relax.

 

5 weeks of school left! I can't wait, after that I will have so much free time to learn new things on the piano, forex, books or anything!

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12 hours ago, PianoLearner said:

New objective: Getting a driving license: To be completed after the semester, by practicing with my dad, by reviewing the theory, by practicing with an instructor and finally by taking and passing the exam. Afterward, I can think of getting a car, but first I have to get the license.

Good call!

12 hours ago, PianoLearner said:

Gaming: No urges but I still get some flash backs of gaming, not sure if I should do something about it.

We all get them from time to time. It's okay, unless you daydream about gaming for hours during the day.

1 hour ago, PianoLearner said:

Gaming My friend kept asking me to play Starcraft 2 with him, I had to tell him 6 or 7 times "I will not play Starcraft" he gave up after but seems disapointed... What can I say, he doesn't seem to understand that games are bad for me and I have a problem, he only see that "we would have fun playing 2v2". I think he would, but I know for sure I wouldn't. At the end of the day, what matters is that I said no, which is something new to me, I'm used to be so agreeable.

Depending on how much you have in common, you can still remain friends even without gaming, if he's willing to accept that.

I once saw Peterson's video where he described addiction as a sub-personality of the whole personality. Depending on how severe your addiction was, the bigger that sub-personality was/is and it has only one objective: to game. It will do anything to game the maximum amount of time. I found myself being less agreeable afterwards I quit gaming too.

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22 hours ago, Ikar said:

Good call!

We all get them from time to time. It's okay, unless you daydream about gaming for hours during the day.

Depending on how much you have in common, you can still remain friends even without gaming, if he's willing to accept that.

I once saw Peterson's video where he described addiction as a sub-personality of the whole personality. Depending on how severe your addiction was, the bigger that sub-personality was/is and it has only one objective: to game. It will do anything to game the maximum amount of time. I found myself being less agreeable afterwards I quit gaming too.

Thank you for the encouragements ! 

That is a very interesting perspective on the effects of gaming on the personality, I wonder what other unexpected changes might come from the removal of this addiction.

 

Take care,

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Day #9 A very productive and good one 🙂

Gaming: No urges, still some random game toughts here and there. I spent some time reading others on the forum and posted in some journals. The effect of mutual support brings a lot of confort considering I have an empathic personality. I'm starting to like it here 🙂

Piano: Still more practice, getting better, I feel like I have a lot more control and that I play less and less on autopilot,very interesting.

School: Nothing to do 😉 I'm all up to date and I felt relieved to be able to truly enjoy the day!

Career: I analysed how the Senior business analysts work and noticed that they always internalised and make sure to understand the key information that transit through them. Before, during and after a meeting, they make sure they "understand". If they cannot do that, they gather the information they need from the appropriate sources. I think this is a critical skill to develop as a business analyst, master the information.

Girlfriend : Went well today, we had talks about the future and were both reassured. I am planning to buy a remote house an hour from Montreal and live there 2-3 days a week or maybe more depending on if I am allowed to work from home.more than 1 day a week. She liked the idea that the other 4 days we could share a place...I will keep thinking on this, to get a house, I have few steps to do first (license>car>Get approved work from home>Find the right house>break my renting lease(depending on the time))

 

Tomorrow might be challenging because I have a lot to do at work and a class in evening. I'll do my best !

Goodnight journal.

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In my experience with meetings, the best thing is to be prepared for the agenda and know what you want to get out of the meeting. It sucks to sit through meetings without knowing why you are there...

Glad you're doing well and good luck with your challenging day tomorrow.

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1 hour ago, apatton090 said:

In my experience with meetings, the best thing is to be prepared for the agenda and know what you want to get out of the meeting. It sucks to sit through meetings without knowing why you are there...

Glad you're doing well and good luck with your challenging day tomorrow.

Thanks for the tip, I will keep that in mind, thinking about it, it is true that sometimes, what we want to get out of the meeting is unclear.

About today, it went well 🙂

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On 5/8/2020 at 9:24 AM, PianoLearner said:

I noticed that there is too many things I want to achieve and this was stressing me so I focused on "planning" what I want to achieve in 5 topics and how: School, piano, gaming, my girlfriend and career.

Nice! I did the same too so I can keep track and prioritize what should I do instead of gaming.

Good luck Sir @PianoLearner! Glad you had a nice day 9! 😎

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Day #10 Challenging at work but I have to succeed 🙂

Piano: I played the hardest piece I know with only 1 mistakes (last time I did that was 2 years ago when I learned it) it feels good but I'm not there yet, I will keep practicing until I feel very comfortable playing it. I will do that by playing it faster than normal and alternating "playing styles".

School: Had a class, I have 50 mins of video to watch for Friday and an assignment to complete before may 27, I am thinking on completing it on Sunday and be done for the next weeks.

Career: I tried to be proactive today and had good results. I noticed some mistakes in the analysis we did in the last months and to fix them, I proposed to gather all the info we add on a project in a formatted file, which was accepted by the senior BA because we were having trouble planning work🙂 I feel like I was a little more creative than usual today.

Girlfriend: Nothing special, nothing bad but it's a good day to m.

Gaming: No urges or anything, my friend kept asking me to play Starcraft with him again and I just kept saying no. I feel like his life depends on this... it's odd. He felt insulted that I refused to play with him to which I replied that it is not because it is him that is asking it, it's because it is a game that just doesn't interest me at all, also I'm doing a gaming cure and I have no time to play. I also replied that I could say that I'm insulted aswell because he doesn't seem to acknowledge at all the reasons I give him. He gave up, for today at least but seems very disappointed. So I am, he doesn't seem to get that I am not interested and I'm doing the gaming cure (which he said would fail), I understand that gaming with a friend is a lot more fun and we "could" (As in technically possible) get high ranks or whatever but it is not aligned with my goal: I do not want to play Starcraft at all and I will not. He will have to understand it and move on. An interesting point is that, during the conversation, I was very relaxed which is unusual for me to disagree and be relaxed. Other than that, no urge 🙂 , just random gaming thoughts here and there.

There is a lot I can relate to with others here on the forum, this place is really great and everyone is so nice. It feels very good to be part of the community.

 

Have a good one !

Edited by PianoLearner
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4 hours ago, PianoLearner said:

Gaming: No urges or anything, my friend kept asking me to play Starcraft with him again and I just kept saying no. I feel like his life depends on this... it's odd.

Since all of us here are/were gaming addicts, I do not find his behavior odd. I find it normal. The issue with that addicts just latch onto one thing. A well-developed personality makes its life dependent on more things, because when any single thing goes out of the window, they can carry on with their life. It's a rough lesson, but sometimes one needs to let go of something they love to get what they need.

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Day #11 Lots of meeting, little time to rest - Nothing particular today

Piano: Ok, so I am getting much more confident every day I practice, I'm thinking on expanding my practice to 1 other piece (C416 - Sweden). 

Gaming: No urges, no random toughs :) I will think about what @Ikar said "sometimes one needs to let go of something they love to get what they need. "

Career: Intense day at work, a coworker congratulated me for "still" working on the project, she said it is a very complicated project to start with (I'm new at my job) and some others would've quit! Feels good ! I feel like I learned so much but I can't really verbalize it.

Girlfriend: Had little time to see her but we're doing well :)

School: Had a class, will focus on the documents instead of the teacher because I feel like I will get tested on the documentation and not the teacher explanations (like in the first semester)

4 weeks and half left till I get my diploma :))) Then I can focus on "learning all the things"!

 

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Day #12 - I think I lost a friend, I feel stressed, I feel energized, I reached a milestone at work, wtf is going on lol

Gaming: My friend got angry at me and said he is done "raging at me". He proposed (by texts) again to play games, which I refused, he quickly seemed emotional to which I proposed to discuss, which he refused and replied that he did not want to rage and that he was done raging. I asked what was he raging about and the next reply was "you". Afterward he stopped replying... I texted his girlfriend which told me she knew nothing about this situation and that she couldn't help me (they don't really talk about these things between them). Not sure what I should do know, he doesn't seem to want to talk, he told me that he feels that he is "put on the side" by me, I am not sure what he means by that. I don't like this situation because I do not know what to do, I don't feel like I should lose this friendship because I stopped playing games, until today we never really played together at a game, why now would matter? I proposed to play chess online (does that count as "non-gaming" activity?) we'll see with his reply.

Career: For the first time in 8 months on the job, I felt that I knew what I was doing and why. I felt REALLY good because I was used to that in my previous job as a test automation developer (but it got boring). My goal as a business analyst in a system upgrade project is to understand what is the "business need" behind an element from the previous system/process (ex: a rule, message, label,behavior,etc), to question this need, document it and make sure it is fulfilled in the next version. Can't wait to see what's gonna happen next !!!

Piano: Still doing well, I will try to practice LOUD and quiet, This should train my control even more! In 2 weeks, I should be able to play the hardest play I remember perfectly like I used to :))))

Girlfriend: I realized that I won't have much quality time with her for the rest of the week (classes, time with dad, work, study, etc). So I reserved Saturday evening for us. We'll see how it goes!

School: It is 11:37 PM right now and I have 1 hour of videos to watch to prepare for tomorrow... I guess I will go to sleep at 1 Am. Doing it will make it a lot easier to follow tomorrow's class, especially since it's a class on Friday evening.

 

Soooo all in all, I feel like I have the energy to achieve everything right now (which is feels like I'm back in my early 20s), I feel stressed by the situation with my friend and the school's work, I'm doing great on the piano and practicing everyday and I am grateful for my girlfriend's patience but I must not abuse.

Also, thanks to anyone that reads and react to this, you guys are so awesome, I love this forum.

 

That is it, goodnight journal !

 

 

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