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Chitemple

Losing Relationships

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Hello, My name is J, 

I'm without work, I'm having trouble in my relationship, I have terrible social skills, I am moody, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, stressed. I am looking for worlds of intrigue. 

I would like to overcome this addiction. Right now I'm writing with the knowledge that I'm going to play the Witcher 3 afterwards, 

But I am open to learning more about this addiction, and the stages of reset. I think this will help me to succeed. 

 

Thank you for this resource. 

 

J

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18 hours ago, seriousjay said:

Hi there @Chitemple, how's it going so far in 2020?

It seems like you have a lot going on, what is the one area you would say you'd like help with the most?

It's going okay, I'm 6 days off right now. 

I need help positively affirming a future, with a good outcome

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5 hours ago, Chitemple said:

It's going okay, I'm 6 days off right now. 

I need help positively affirming a future, with a good outcome

Nice! One more day and you'll be a week in!

Do you have any hopes or dreams for the future you want? What do you see yourself doing?

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On 1/5/2020 at 6:13 PM, seriousjay said:

Nice! One more day and you'll be a week in!

Do you have any hopes or dreams for the future you want? What do you see yourself doing?

Well, I would like to be in a position where I don't have to worry about making rent, or looking for work, or worrying about going to work the next day. 

I'd like to work in an atmosphere with creative individuals doing creative things. Making good money, and being able to do what I want when I want because I have the financial freedom for that. 

I would like to have the professionalism to be able to lead and operate business.

And I would like to have a large level of peace and tranquility.

 

pS. Still going strong. Day 12.

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@Chitemple hi man how its going ?

Everyone in this community loves you! Everyone here will try to help you achieve your goals and even more. I was once just like you! So I got to know this page, where I discovered that my main problem is that my mind only wants computer games. When I changed this thing and replaced it with charitable activities, I became more happy and optimistic than before. I know things have never been easy, but they are very possible and millions have done it before you and changed their lives for the better. What I want from you now is to make a serious and different attempt to change your reality! Let me explain to you : At this time  we should know whether there is a possibility to take a scholarship and continue studying, or we must do a search for the appropriate work that you aspire to.
 (I will assume that you only want to work and do not want to study) In this case we must move forward to reach the best profession you happily practice. Therefore, you must get rid of game addiction through the following steps:
1- Get rid of everything related to games, such as twitch or Facebook pages or YouTube channels
2- Delete all games one game after another (but start with the one that is less important to you).
3- Add to that changing the location of the table or the computer you are sitting on
4- Also arrange the room and spread a good smell.
But you will suffer from a lot of nostalgia for games and so will give you the best way to get rid of craving for games.
firstly Create a text document and write in it all the psychological problems that games caused you! Write  how much you hate and hate games! Also write about how happy you get when you overcome your cravings of  game  .
secondly Every time you get ideas for playing, go to the kitchen and bring a glass of water, then change your sitting position.
and lastly  Drink the water, then open the text document above. Read it completely and fully imagine it too! This way you will convince your subconscious that there is absolutely no room to play.
Note: It is advisable to write the above mentioned text document on your mobile phone as well. And with that you have won so much  time every  day ! At that time (which will happen tomorrow ), we need to do is start looking for temporary work that gives us enough money to live and at the same time does not spend all of our time. Because we still want improvement and development for ourselves until we have the permanent work that we aspire to. Therefore, we must improve ourselves socially, culturally and physically!
(And since I looked at you, I will be brief.) Regarding the social aspect, all you have to do is ask about the joint activities in your city by asking knowledge and also searching online. As for the cultural aspect, I prefer to go to the city library and read the book "The Power of Introverts" by Susan Cain. Or, you can read any book that you think is useful for you right now.
And on the physical side, you have to do a daily jogging for an hour. If you achieve that for 2 weeks, register at the nearest gym.
I apologize for the prolongation and wanna inform you that I have devoted my full personal experience to this post which took more than 45 minutes to write , man I do not know you , have never met you but I have spend around an hour for you ! so never  think of anxiety , depression or bad ideas . we all  love you , we are with you . u do not live alone here .

this is not drama ! this is the reality . so lets move on to the next level .

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6 hours ago, Chitemple said:

Well, I would like to be in a position where I don't have to worry about making rent, or looking for work, or worrying about going to work the next day. 

I'd like to work in an atmosphere with creative individuals doing creative things. Making good money, and being able to do what I want when I want because I have the financial freedom for that. 

I would like to have the professionalism to be able to lead and operate business.

And I would like to have a large level of peace and tranquility.

 

pS. Still going strong. Day 12.

Those are some great goals. Do you have any idea what kind of work you'd like to do that might align with those goals? What kind of things do you like to do that you might be able to make a living off of?

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@Chitemple you wonderful soul. We are in this together. People like us have to stick together. And together we will rise as champions. Trust me, we will!

Something I always like to emphazise, is that you should not only focus on your goals, but also start to fall in love with the process. In a video on youtube, I heard this analogy: If your goal is to climb mount everest, how much time do you spend on top? Like half an hour? And how much time do you spend on training, in base 1 and base 2? A lot more. And this is something I also really feel. Last year I really fell in love with the idea of healthy eating. Ofc I wanted to loose weight and stuff. But in this entire year, I measured my weight like 3 times (only when I was at my parents, since I don't have a weight measuring device). I never really cared that much about the outcome, but was reading so much, was quitting sugar and junk food that I slowly but steadily lost weight. I started lifting weights and like one year later I lost over 33 pounds. If I only would have looked at the outcome, I am quite sure that I would have failed, only trying to get to the goal and trying to survive the diet. But I made it a lifestyle. I am proud of being a non sugar eater. Like literally none. That entire last year, I probably eat chocolate like 1 time and a piece of cake like three times. And I really don't have the need to eat that crap. ^^
I don't want to brag, but fall in love with the process and change your identity. Fall in love with the idea of becoming a non gamer. Take control over your life. And delete your gaming accounts! My steam account should be fully deleted by tomorrow, since it takes around 30 days. Btw. constantly counting the days of non gaming always puts some kind of attention to gaming. So I don't count the days. Maybe it's 40 days right now, maybe less. I don't care at all. Because this is not about numbers. But that is my personal opinion and everyone is different.

Regarding social skills, have a look at socialpronow.com. For me it really changed everything. I am just there since maybe two weeks or something, but the stuff I learned already is insane. How to beat anxiety in the moment, how to have better smalltalk. It is really what I have been looking for since years I could say. I am advertising this site, because it has a free newsletter training, where you almost daily get emails with valuable stuff. And it is absolutlely free. So you have nothing to loose. I can say that it really helped me.

For instance: At my part time job next to my studies, I had this problem that I was often ignored, just basic small talk was already a problem, especially with the female co workers in the service area (I work in a sauna). They avoided eye contact and everything was forced an tough. Just a couple of valuable emails and interesting stuff, people start talking to me. The conversations just start. It is absolutely insane. One customer even gave me her phone number and tomorrow I have a date. This never would have happened to me before. It never did. My life starts to become a lot better. I know that I am not even close, where I want to be in the future. But like I said: I trust the process!!!

Take care.

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Yo you guys are awesome @Alexanderle @seriousjay @Netzwerker @masquerade

I'm on Day 28, 

 

I really like your advice @Alexanderleabout falling in love with the process of self development, and that tip about social pro; and @Netzwerker keeping a document, changing smells, and scenery, and using water and sitting positions. I appreciate that you took the time to write to me and share your insights.. 

 

Things have been tough, my cravings to look or play games comes and goes... and I am experiencing a lot of other things with my mood. I'll post more in the journal I have. 

 

Thanks guys, 

Oh I got a job at Kelseys, and am working short but consistent shifts. I also got some gov assistence so I could catch up with some bills, and I'm also working on getting some healthier foods and vitamans, and adding a second job. 


Funny how I don't mind working so much when I'm not playing games....

I notice how my brain is kind of vapid when I'm not playing games.... so I realize I have to add some kind of stimulation: I've thought about looking into a basketball mens league, mma, and I'm going to create an excercise circuit in my basement... Its so boring not using the extensive reflexes I have to solve problems or to compete in some kind of way. I've also taken up an interest in cooking and learning new recipes. 


Reading is interesting; i realized today that my memories are sometimes like when I'm reading a book... kinda make it easier to see that my thoughts were more of an illusion taking me out of the present, which i thought was a helpful benefit i didn't realize was possible with reading: 

I'm reading Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring.... It's really great! I love it.. I love travelling with the group. It's so nice to have some unique images in my mind... Almost insatiably refreshing. 

I've been practicing martial arts for about 8 years now, and i would compete in that but I've had a few concussions and need to stay away from it... but damn, its fun to do tui shou or push hands in english... which is a non violent form of tai chi practice with a partner... haven't been able to do it for awhile and I kinda long for that... would like to get back into it, but need to pay my teacher back to not feel ashamed of going back to him... 

I owe him $3000, which he understands why I can't pay him, but i really don't feel comfortable accepting any more lessons until I can pay him back.

Anyways, 

 

That was my bit of rantings... thanks for your support... much love ❤️

 

 

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hey J . i can say i am a quitter now . because i see no more interests in video games anymore , i found new ways to spend life ( i will write a topic about it).

my personal thought is Gaming is just a temporary hobby and for most of us is just a way to escape reality . when we want to quite video games we are kinda in the end of the line and desperet and we really want to change , belive me i know the feelings that happened to me many times. your very first step is to delete everything related to video games and start to find new usefull hobbies for yourself and replace them by gaming . what you want to do is the first step to become who you want to be but it takes  time. we all here know how to speak , we know everything but we want something like a magic to suddenly be motivated and move forward , there is no such thing . you gotta resist against the feeling when you want to change but you end up good results

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