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NEW VIDEO: Psychologist's WARNING About VIDEO GAMES

Trust the process...


Alexanderle
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Alright. Today I did it: I have my usual portion of noodles, and I split it into two meals. I am very proud of this achievement. I have to say that I thought, this moderation stuff regarding food would be harder at first. So maybe I could be even more relaxed. But the thing is of course that I don't want to. ^^ I still want to look ripped and be a badass. So I have no intentions to put too much junk food into my mouth. Maybe I try milk the next couple of days. I would also drink a complete litre of milk at once and feel horrible afterwards. Also I could order pizza and see, if I can split the pizza in two pieces and eat the next slice another time. Many things to try. You have no idea, how addicted I was. I remember the all star weekend 2016 of the nba. It was the saturday stuff, three point contest and dunk contest. While watching Aaron Gordon and Zach Lavine battle it out, I had ordered six little pizzas. It was at 3 am in the morning. And I ate them all. You have no idea, how this binge eating shit feels. ^^ So it is nice that I this might be another part of my life that is slowly coming to an end.

Another long term strategy that I would like to finally achieve is to eat without watching something. But I know that I am not ready for this. I would only force it for now. I guess this involves some kind of enjoayble ritual I do, where I am not missing something. But again, just another long term goal. For now, I keep experimenting. 

Today, I was quite successful with my statistics. I think I have figured some stuff out. Now I will learn some philosophy and then I will go to bed. Maybe some strong by zumba as well. I am not motivated for weights right now. I was also walking outside. I still see myself not trusting other people. I feel like an alien outside. I feel judged by every person passing by. I guess, I will continue this for a while. Going out and being judged, until I am not judged anymore. That is just basic behavioral therapy.

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45 minutes ago, Alexanderle said:

While watching Aaron Gordon and Zach Lavine battle it out, I had ordered six little pizzas. It was at 3 am in the morning. And I ate them all. You have no idea, how this binge eating shit feels. ^^ So it is nice that I this might be another part of my life that is slowly coming to an end.

Haha, me and my brother used to play a lot of NBA2k games back when I was around 15. I even got a basketball that I have with me now and the shoes, as I went for basketball trainings for a while, but it was too competitive and try-hard environment for me back then. Hopped around with the basketball in the past week a bit too 😄 

53 minutes ago, Alexanderle said:

Another long term strategy that I would like to finally achieve is to eat without watching something. But I know that I am not ready for this. I would only force it for now. I guess this involves some kind of enjoayble ritual I do, where I am not missing something. But again, just another long term goal. For now, I keep experimenting. 

I find that the enjoyable ritual to do with eating is... watching something 😄

I tried doing this, but I felt like I was rushing the food if I "did nothing" during it. Food + an episode of series anywhere from 20-40 minutes is not only a way to get myself fed, enjoy the flavor (if it's not oats 😄 ), but also a way to relax. If I downed the food in 15 minutes, I felt as if I was working all the time. Is there a specific goal for you to achieve or is it just "time efficiency"?

1 hour ago, Alexanderle said:

Today, I was quite successful with my statistics. I think I have figured some stuff out. Now I will learn some philosophy and then I will go to bed. Maybe some strong by zumba as well. I am not motivated for weights right now. I was also walking outside. I still see myself not trusting other people. I feel like an alien outside. I feel judged by every person passing by. I guess, I will continue this for a while. Going out and being judged, until I am not judged anymore. That is just basic behavioral therapy.

Could just stare the hell out of them. That'll teach them!

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36 minutes ago, Ikar said:

NBA2k games

back in my gaming times I would dig those games a lot. The games actually brought me to real basketball and nba stuff. ^^ Unfortunately, the games became more and more pay to win, which was super annoying. It is tryhard for sure. You have to be in order to become pro. But there is a lot to learn regarding discipline from people like Kobe Bryant, who sadly passed away this year.

38 minutes ago, Ikar said:

I tried doing this, but I felt like I was rushing the food if I "did nothing" during it.

I mean, I am not sure yet, what will happen, if I try this. But the funny part: It is the opposite for me: I rush my food when watching stuff. I really enjoy it and it is a ritual. But I would like to notice that I am eating. That is not always the case when watching stuff. So yeah, exactly the opposite. xD

39 minutes ago, Ikar said:

Is there a specific goal for you to achieve or is it just "time efficiency"?

It really is more about noticing the food. Eating slower and spending more time with it. Is is quite mechanical, when I watch something. So maybe an alternative would be to still watch something, but pay more attention to the food. But I have not thought about strategies to do this yet. 

41 minutes ago, Ikar said:

Could just stare the hell out of them. That'll teach them!

That made me laugh a bit. But there is some truth to it. A person like me, who is quite an agreable person could definitely bear a bit more provocation and "conflict" to be less "shy". You are a Peterson listener, so I guess you are familiar with the ocean model. While thinking about it, that is an interesting point. Maybe slowly being a bit more "self centered" maybe the anxiety will go away. Ofc without becoming a jerk. Just becoming someone with a spine. 

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Thanks for the gym motivation. I mostly worked out because it helped me cope. Now I'm just used to it it's kind of a habit. I don't think I'm buff enough to impress many girls. Good for you though.

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On 5/5/2020 at 12:39 AM, Erik2.0 said:

Thanks for the gym motivation. I mostly worked out because it helped me cope. Now I'm just used to it it's kind of a habit. I don't think I'm buff enough to impress many girls. Good for you though.

Well that is the point: If you feel like a gym rat, motivation is not even necessary anymore. Thus, there is no need to impress girls. Thus, it is all a matter of what you want. And then you adjust your strategy. Everyone can get ripped. 90 percent of it is your diet. If you have too much fat, you are eating too much bad stuff or just too much. If you are too thin, you may not eat enough. Muscles don't grow or don't show. Fat people might actually be ripped. There is just a huge layer than hides it. ^^

Edited by Alexanderle
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Alright. I have some sleeping troubles. Awakening in the middle of the night two times. But that is fine. It will go away probably, once this thesis stuff is gone. So really nothing to worry. I also moderated my noodles once again today. I am happy about that. I have enough for an additional meal as a result. I also made important phone goals today, which I usually postbone. Right now, it feels that everything is going perfect. I am also figuring stuff out for my thesis and can almost send my results part to my tutor. Life is awesome!

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Problems and solutions

Claimer: This is mainly for myself as a memo.) However, as I was thinking that so many problems are now solving themselves, I did a little meditation on problem solving. Keep in mind that a meditation can also be a short time of intense thinking about something. When Descartes came up with his "cogito ergo sum", he called that meditation. Meditari is latin for thinking about something. So then, I was considering problem solving. 

Why are there so many problems? I think, because we have this fundamental idea, to conceptualize a very big, insurmountable problem, by splitting it into smaller problems. The biggest problem, I can think of, is probably the problem of death. We don't like it very much. Huuuge challenge! But death itself, as threatening as it may be, it is not really something that can be solved, as it will happen regardless. So this leads me to the next thing, I can think of as the biggest problem imaginable: Which is life! Life is a huge problem, a challenge, filled with several little problems, which create the gigantic whole, we call challenge of life. So then. you cannot solve the problem of life, such like that. Therefore, we split it into several little problems: The problem of health, the problem of politics, the problem of geography, the problem of passions, all in the sense that they provide challenges. And I can see that every "problem" can be split up once again. The problem of health may consist of the problems, sleep, eating, fitness, exposure to sunlight, relaxation, whatever. But I am not done. It can be split up even further. Let's think about sleep: It may be split into the problem of falling asleep, the problem of sleeping through and the problem of awakening. Because some people have trouble to fall asleep.

So, can I split that even further to find the issue at stake? I mean, I can see the problem of putting my head on the pillow and my leg on the bed, or closing my eyes which might be a challenge for some people, for instance older people. But then I struggle to split it up even more. I would reach a point, where involuntary actions like the fibers of my nerves would be a problem. So instead, we focus on other things: Like checking the smartphone in the evening. But that is not a part of "falling asleep" is it? It only postbones it. Because falling asleep involves closing my eyes, which I am not doing, when checking out the smartphone. So, it is not a part of the problem. It is just a problem itself that interferes with another thing, we just called a problem as well. So why doing it? Why acting out all the problems? Like smartphone stuff? Useless browsing or useless eating? This is inevitably the point, where we start coming up with reasons. And then we start to imply causality: I check out the smartphone, because I am bored. I check out the smartphone, because I want to have some fun or whatever. So let's summarize: I have a problem, because another activity, which I also call a problem, interferes with it. But this problem itself is also done, because there is another third problem. That does not make sense. I cannot call everything a problem.

This is, when I start calling something a solution. The smartphone is a solution for my boredom. So I reached a point, where there is no difference between the terms problem and solution. They are identical. Or different sides of the same coin. I see that every single problem is also a solution for something else: The solution called falling asleep solves the sleep problem The solution sleep solves the health problem (at least partially) and the health problem solves the "life problem" (once again only partially). And what about the problem of life? Is it also just a solution? What about death? Is death just a solution for life? Because without death, there would be no conceputalization of life. You cannot draw a painting of a face, without the background. It is the black and white, the dance of shadows and brightness that creates an object.

So we have to stop calling something a problem, because it is also just a solution. The problem of gaming is a solution. There were reasons, why we did it. In that sense, we have decided to switch our problems or solutions. Instead of the solution of gaming, we are now focusing on the solution of painting, going to the gym or studying. This leads to the idea that problems only exist, when we see them as problems. But that is also the case for solutions. The best example of this happened, when a couple of weeks ago, I was constantly busy looking into the mirror and seeing my fat tissues. I remember, how unhappy I was with the still existing fat tissues and how miserable it made me - up to the point, where I had the idea that there is no difference between now and one year ago, when I was quite obese. But then accidentally, I stumbled accross some old pictures of me. And I was shocked: The difference was huge. I was unable to see this before. All the sudden, the problem stopped to exist and was a solution. In that sense, being in a bad place can be a motivation for change. But it can also be a depressive fact that pulls you down into the darkness. Couting the number of days of not gaming, is a solution and a problem. It can motivate you and it can be the reason to give up! 

I was doing a little google search to see, it other people have come to the same realization. I found an interesting article that deals with it: https://code101.net/code-101/solutions-are-problems-and-problems-are-solutions

What I like about it, is that it comes to slightly different conclusion: Choose your solutions/problems. I liked this quote especially: "How can you use the concept of solution-problem equivalence in your daily life? Simple. Stop trying to solve problems, and start choosing which problems you’d rather have. Or, if you like, which solutions you’d rather have." Amazing. It boils down to what I always say: We should not try to not game, but instead focus on something else. In a way, we have just decided to focus on another problem. Or should I call it solution?

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I solved and failed at the same time. While I accomplished every goal for today, which is nice, I failed with the moderation. At least with hotdogs. My plan was to only eat 2 out of 4, but now, all four are gone. But that is fine. I expected this to happen. I cannot wait to buy them again and to try again. What is interesting is that in my head there was just this believe that I would have to eat them all, because there would be some concern about still being hungry afterwards. But overall, I do not complain. I did not overeat and overall, another great day. the most important part is that I finished with my statistics stuff. I worked quite hard the last couple of days. so overall, another good day.

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5 hours ago, Alexanderle said:

I solved and failed at the same time. While I accomplished every goal for today, which is nice, I failed with the moderation. At least with hotdogs. My plan was to only eat 2 out of 4, but now, all four are gone. But that is fine. I expected this to happen. I cannot wait to buy them again and to try again. What is interesting is that in my head there was just this believe that I would have to eat them all, because there would be some concern about still being hungry afterwards. But overall, I do not complain. I did not overeat and overall, another great day. the most important part is that I finished with my statistics stuff. I worked quite hard the last couple of days. so overall, another good day.

I think now that you recognize these emotions you might be able to be more successful next time as well. I tried the same thing with cookies in the past and failed every time, but now I'm not failing because I find more pleasure out of losing weight and getting a 6 pack. I think it's just whatever the body feels more rewarding. Good on you for recognizing the positives of today.

I also want to reply to the other post you wrote that is longer, but haven't had time yet.

Edited by BooksandTrees
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It was a nice article. I agree with the fact that a problem never really goes away and that you can have only an "upgraded" version of the problem. Warren Buffett also has financial problems. I think 99% of people wishing they had his wealth would either freeze up and let the money get eaten up by inflation or had an aneurysm in the next 5 minutes.

I hope you get that blog up soon 😄

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10 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I tried the same thing with cookies in the past and failed every time, but now I'm not failing because I find more pleasure out of losing weight and getting a 6 pack.

That is true. I mean, it is not just about weight loss and sixpacks. I could easily do that by strongly commiting to my diehard diet for a couple of months and would easily come with drastic weight loss. But that is not my goal for now, since I try to be a bit more moderate. I am curious, where it will lead to. 🙂

2 hours ago, Ikar said:

It was a nice article. I agree with the fact that a problem never really goes away and that you can have only an "upgraded" version of the problem. Warren Buffett also has financial problems. I think 99% of people wishing they had his wealth would either freeze up and let the money get eaten up by inflation or had an aneurysm in the next 5 minutes.

I hope you get that blog up soon 😄

Thanks for that. xD Regarding the blog, I am still struggling regarding the right way to do it so that I don't need to pay a lot of money, but at the same time having my own content, without basically making myself dependent on someone. I mean, just by writing here, it is not really my content, since gamerquitters is more in charge in some way. But I will figure that out at some point I think. ^^

Regarding what you said about money: That is really what I meant: Money at first seems like the nice solution for all of your problems. But then it might actually be a problem on its own or by leading to more problems. Because maybe now you are worried that you might loose it again. Or that some people will be your false friends and want a bite of the cake and become slimey assholes. But those two "problems" could also be solutions, since you might learn, how to take care of money or who your real friends are... Or by getting an aneurysm and die 😄 😄 😄

 

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56 minutes ago, Alexanderle said:

Thanks for that. xD Regarding the blog, I am still struggling regarding the right way to do it so that I don't need to pay a lot of money, but at the same time having my own content, without basically making myself dependent on someone. I mean, just by writing here, it is not really my content, since gamerquitters is more in charge in some way. But I will figure that out at some point I think. ^^

Do you want your own website? I write on Blogger. If anything, you can always use notepad to back your text up.

1 hour ago, Alexanderle said:

Regarding what you said about money: That is really what I meant: Money at first seems like the nice solution for all of your problems. But then it might actually be a problem on its own or by leading to more problems. Because maybe now you are worried that you might loose it again. Or that some people will be your false friends and want a bite of the cake and become slimey assholes. But those two "problems" could also be solutions, since you might learn, how to take care of money or who your real friends are... Or by getting an aneurysm and die 😄 😄 😄

It's just that money is a shitty value to pose with and attract others, yet at the same time money means power to do anything in a democracy. No wonder Plato put it on 4th place out of 5. There was a Simpsons episode where Burns wanted to make Bart his heir by using all his influence, money and power too 🙂

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6 hours ago, Ikar said:

It's just that money is a shitty value to pose with and attract others, yet at the same time money means power to do anything in a democracy.

That is true, since there were studies that money really only brings a certain degree of happiness up to a certain amount. I think many people use it just like gaming as a strategy to get certain things: Approval, appreciation, a feeling of choice, distraction...

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6 hours ago, Ikar said:

No wonder Plato put it on 4th place out of 5. There was a Simpsons episode where Burns wanted to make Bart his heir by using all his influence, money and power too

I am not well educated on Plato and the Simpsons. But it surely spreads the message based on your description.

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11 hours ago, Alexanderle said:

That is true. I mean, it is not just about weight loss and sixpacks. I could easily do that by strongly commiting to my diehard diet for a couple of months and would easily come with drastic weight loss. But that is not my goal for now, since I try to be a bit more moderate. I am curious, where it will lead to. 🙂

It will lead to dad bod. 

Haha. No, I'm sure you'll be just as jacked as ever.

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I am at my parents place right now. Most of my time is now focused on my bachelor thesis. Putting as much energy in it as possible. Besides that, everything is pretty ok. Listening a little bit less to music for now. Trying to be a bit more moderate regarding this "addiction". Also, meditating in the morning is quite a nicething to do. Just listening to what is around me. It calms me down a lot. But other then that, I don't have much to say here for now.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

It has been a while, since I last have written in this journal and on gamequitters overall. I was not really feeling like writing anything and this has not changed. I am in great shape. Possibly the greatest shape of my life: My apartment is in order, I am never procrastinating and doing the stuff I want. I am deeply immersed in my future profession of psychology, working out and my diet is quite fine. My social life will be the last major thing to address. This is something, that was the case, when I joined gamequitters and is still a fact right now. But I am sure that this forum cannot help me with this. I can only figure it out by myself. But I still thank everyone for the great discussions and heartwarming words of support.

But it is time for me to go on now. Maybe I look into the forum in the future - who knows. For now, I am deeply convinced that gaming is not a disorder but only a symptom, which we acted out as a result of other issues. And I don't want to discuss anymore all the things, which I consider like huge problems: Counting your days until oblivion, blaming dopamine for everything, even blaming computer games. Blame yourself! Once you start adressing all the things, you always wanted to adress, it becomes addicting and you are going up a gigantic upward spiral. It is inevitable. Things like gaming, stupid internet videos and social media become renderless and obsolete. Time to grow up...

So yeah, maybe well see each other in the future. Until then. Keep it up!

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