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Atari

I'm done. For good!

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I bought Respawn last year in December. I went without gaming for ca 40 days, then I relapsed. After more than two weeks of gaming, I'm done. Finito. I cannot do this to myself.

It takes away joy, time (oh precious time) and is turning me away from the dreams I have and believe I can achieve if I only put in the effort. Listened to Jordan Peterson talk with Jocko Willink, the first of the podcasts they did together. It helped me, more than I can describe, and I recommend you to listen to them. I'm breaking my wretched loop, the spiral that is driving me lower. I'm young, I have the future for my feets and I won't let gaming ruin my prospects.

I relapsed, but I will regain control. Each day I will commit time to write here, to hold myself accountable. I have dreams... I'm going to go get them!

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@Atari welcome! Peterson is an incredibly good man and his advice is priceless. 

Relapses are just temporary obstacles, you learn from them and move on, so keep going. :)

 

 

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@Vera Thank you! He does his best to be good at least, must be hard when so many make him a villain, especially as they do so wrongly.

That's a great mindset to have! Temporary obstacle, I will learn. Thank you for the encouragement and may your gaming days be over!

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1 hour ago, Atari said:

That's a great mindset to have! Temporary obstacle, I will learn. Thank you for the encouragement and may your gaming days be over!

It is also important to start small and don't beat yourself up if you  don't succeed immediately.(I even have to learn that for myself after coming out of  a gaming binge...)

You are definitely at the right place and I can already see yo u succeeding!!

 

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1 hour ago, dirkj3 said:

It is also important to start small and don't beat yourself up if you  don't succeed immediately

I think this is an excellent point! I've recently been trying to change habits in a radical fashion. Often, my all or nothing approach has resulted in setbacks and negativity! Three steps forward and two back is still progress.

I am grateful for your input! We all struggle, I think, with knowing what is right and still going against it. (You learning that yourself after a binge. I myself by means of lessons not learned, or squandered when I face the same challenge later.)

 

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Day 1 of A LOT

Today I start my journey. Yesterday I made a decision and completing the first day feels thrilling. Obviously my habits outside gaming did not pick up in a magical fashion - iow on point from the get go - but I must say that I don't hold grudges against myself about. Comparing myself to the person I was yesterday, I have improved. That, to me, is what matters. I feel optimism flow through my body and during my meditation before falling asleep, I am sure that I will feel a greater presence at each breath.

I do recommend meditation. I'm building up the habit to do it. Even if you don't have a revelation, the peace of complete silence and focusing on breathing does wonders in this hectic world. As I kind of noted, I am by no means an expert. I sit down in my chair, relax and breathe. I try to focus on the breathing at first, then after some minutes I let my mind find its own path.

Furthermore, a call for action to myself for the coming day. Do not watch movies, series or Tv as a replacement for the games. It is easy to switch one dopamine boosting activity for another. But it will only lead down the same rabbit hole.

May the strength of will and mind be with you. I'm out and about, to change my life. I hope you are too.

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A new day one coming tomorrow.

I dowloaded a new game, not my old nemesis, I played it for a couple of hours, stating a minimum using couple. 15 hours on three days. And here is was quitting for good :) Well, a new experience. I kind of see the point of that perspective, the staying positive mode and not being negative about it. BUT, the truth, no matter how painful it might be, is that I fcked up. I had made a promise to myself. I told some others, via this forum, that I had enough. Then I went against my word. Though, hopefully, I will learn from this, a fck up or not, and in the end use it for my way towards a better every-day life.

I use cold turkey appblocker. I will put down a few new websites today. I recommend it for blocking of the immediate websites you go to if you have a tendency to reinstall games the day after you've uninstalled them. There's a free version so there's no hustle.

Tomorrow I will dig my feet into my new projects, establish the goals for them going forward. I want to learn mandarin and I want to build a writing habit. As I stated in another posts of mine, I want to write. Gaming is among the things that have hindered the journey I started last year. A journey I will resume.

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Hej! Just keep this positive attitude and everything will be fine, I am sure. Relapse can be something to learn from. Just concentrate on pursuing new activities.

Speaking of writing, I once took part in a writing challenge and our daily goal was to write 2000 characters each day (it is not that much, about 300 words). It is easier to build a habit this way, because when you are inspired you are certain to write a lot, but what if you are not? Just make sure you set tangible goals) What are you going to write, btw?

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You're right! And taking small steps is easier, found myself neglecting doing things because I've know in advance I wouldn't make the goal I had set up for myself. Thank you for the support @Catherine17

I'm looking to write fiction. I've made a few first drafts since I began in April last year. Fantasy and post-apocalyptic/anarchism are the genres I'm most into :)

Do you still write? If there's anything you wonder about the Swedish language or if you need help, be sure to let me know!

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8 hours ago, Atari said:

found myself neglecting doing things because I've know in advance I wouldn't make the goal I had set up for myself

100% relatable for me)) 

Ooh, fantasy. That's cool, I prefer it as well, altough I choose contemporary genre (and a bit of heroic). Wish you inspiration:)

I write but only occasionally. Now I am just running around trying to finish all the assignments for university. 

8 hours ago, Atari said:

If there's anything you wonder about the Swedish language or if you need help, be sure to let me know!

Thank you, I appreciate the offer🙂

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