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Atari

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About Atari

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  1. Atari

    Begin again

    A thing I got from a book, is that you say in your mind, "I wish for this person to be happy". Or you could try to be consciously grateful for something. Just think to yourself, I'm grateful that I am on a path to a better life, or I am grateful that the train/subway arrived in time, or that you are able to breath fresh air. It might seem like minor things, but I find it resolves anger and make you happy, anger and happiness/gratefulness don't go together :)
  2. Atari

    I'm done. For good!

    You're right! And taking small steps is easier, found myself neglecting doing things because I've know in advance I wouldn't make the goal I had set up for myself. Thank you for the support @Catherine17 I'm looking to write fiction. I've made a few first drafts since I began in April last year. Fantasy and post-apocalyptic/anarchism are the genres I'm most into :) Do you still write? If there's anything you wonder about the Swedish language or if you need help, be sure to let me know!
  3. Atari

    I'm done. For good!

    A new day one coming tomorrow. I dowloaded a new game, not my old nemesis, I played it for a couple of hours, stating a minimum using couple. 15 hours on three days. And here is was quitting for good :) Well, a new experience. I kind of see the point of that perspective, the staying positive mode and not being negative about it. BUT, the truth, no matter how painful it might be, is that I fcked up. I had made a promise to myself. I told some others, via this forum, that I had enough. Then I went against my word. Though, hopefully, I will learn from this, a fck up or not, and in the end use it for my way towards a better every-day life. I use cold turkey appblocker. I will put down a few new websites today. I recommend it for blocking of the immediate websites you go to if you have a tendency to reinstall games the day after you've uninstalled them. There's a free version so there's no hustle. Tomorrow I will dig my feet into my new projects, establish the goals for them going forward. I want to learn mandarin and I want to build a writing habit. As I stated in another posts of mine, I want to write. Gaming is among the things that have hindered the journey I started last year. A journey I will resume.
  4. Atari

    I'm done. For good!

    Day 1 of A LOT Today I start my journey. Yesterday I made a decision and completing the first day feels thrilling. Obviously my habits outside gaming did not pick up in a magical fashion - iow on point from the get go - but I must say that I don't hold grudges against myself about. Comparing myself to the person I was yesterday, I have improved. That, to me, is what matters. I feel optimism flow through my body and during my meditation before falling asleep, I am sure that I will feel a greater presence at each breath. I do recommend meditation. I'm building up the habit to do it. Even if you don't have a revelation, the peace of complete silence and focusing on breathing does wonders in this hectic world. As I kind of noted, I am by no means an expert. I sit down in my chair, relax and breathe. I try to focus on the breathing at first, then after some minutes I let my mind find its own path. Furthermore, a call for action to myself for the coming day. Do not watch movies, series or Tv as a replacement for the games. It is easy to switch one dopamine boosting activity for another. But it will only lead down the same rabbit hole. May the strength of will and mind be with you. I'm out and about, to change my life. I hope you are too.
  5. Atari

    Journaling from south of Sweden

    Aha. Underbart (wonderful)! All the luck in your Swedish endeavor. I believe you will find some (perhaps many) rules to make little to no sense, but I promise you once you get a feel for them, the rules will sit in the back of your mind.
  6. Atari

    I'm done. For good!

    I think this is an excellent point! I've recently been trying to change habits in a radical fashion. Often, my all or nothing approach has resulted in setbacks and negativity! Three steps forward and two back is still progress. I am grateful for your input! We all struggle, I think, with knowing what is right and still going against it. (You learning that yourself after a binge. I myself by means of lessons not learned, or squandered when I face the same challenge later.)
  7. Atari

    I'm done. For good!

    @Vera Thank you! He does his best to be good at least, must be hard when so many make him a villain, especially as they do so wrongly. That's a great mindset to have! Temporary obstacle, I will learn. Thank you for the encouragement and may your gaming days be over!
  8. Atari

    Journaling from south of Sweden

    Hej @Catherine17 Thank you very much! Are you from Sweden?? If not, how do you know swedish?
  9. Atari

    I'm done. For good!

    I bought Respawn last year in December. I went without gaming for ca 40 days, then I relapsed. After more than two weeks of gaming, I'm done. Finito. I cannot do this to myself. It takes away joy, time (oh precious time) and is turning me away from the dreams I have and believe I can achieve if I only put in the effort. Listened to Jordan Peterson talk with Jocko Willink, the first of the podcasts they did together. It helped me, more than I can describe, and I recommend you to listen to them. I'm breaking my wretched loop, the spiral that is driving me lower. I'm young, I have the future for my feets and I won't let gaming ruin my prospects. I relapsed, but I will regain control. Each day I will commit time to write here, to hold myself accountable. I have dreams... I'm going to go get them!
  10. Hi, Olá, Privet, Hej and Hallo! I'm going to call myself Ace. I plan on using it as my alter ego when my writing gets out there. I'm 20 years old, I live in Sweden and am addicted to video games. I've never been the one playing for 10+ hours a day (except for the occasional LAN), and for a time being I didn't play video games at all (one or two months last year). Back then I quit because of me starting university, moving and I did it without external help. Then I returned home, quit university and started working a bit. It wasn't because of the gaming, I played only a little bit, like an hour a day max until this fall. I started playing League of Legends again and the addiction started. Since April this year I've been working on my dream of becoming an Author and put 2-3 hours each day into writing. Then I started playing a bit more, a bit more. And eventually my writing time was taking a hit from playing video games. My gaming went up to a 4-5 hours a day. Although those numbers might look small in comparison, I was still addicted. I would tell myself that the next day would be different. I would write until the days goal was reached and then play if I had time over. Well that worked from time to time, but no where near as good as I wanted. Since the beginning of August I believe I've uninstalled League of Legends 20 times at least, only to install it first thing in the morning and then uninstall it that same night. I blocked off the website where the download was, but kept finding ways to work around it. I want a better me. Fuck having a better life, I want a better me that inevitably will get myself a better life. I don't want to be rich, I only want to be able to live off my writing as I believe most 'normal' 9-5 jobs would drive me to suicide eventually. I want to be happy and so far gaming has stood in the way of me being truly happy and becoming the good person I can be. I'm currently on my sixth day without playing video games. That little voice in my head, the one who says thing that sound logical but will fuck you over, that guy is currently telling me to install League, play 1 game, 1 game won't hurt won't it? We all know what that little fcker is saying about that, and although I know that the voice is a lying son of a bitch, I'm struggling to fight it. I will post here from time to time, if not every day. I have a dream, and I will succeed it. Thanks and praise to you who've read so far! See you on the other side.
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