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So, I was around 150 days in my detox. For like 140 days I actually thought I was done with video games for good. I missed games some times, but I didn't miss the life I was living when I was gaming. But then ,about a month ago, I started to get serious cravings, probably because I was feeling a little more stressed about school than usual. First I thought that "this will pass, just stay strong". But when my cravings lasted for over a week and I was strugglings with them every single day I finally had enough and thought "ok, I'll try moderation... or you know... few days binge maybe?".

At first I was actually playing a sensible amount and I was actually surprised that I didn't find games so interesting anymore. It really felt that my brains weren't wired to enjoy gaming anymore so that I could become obsessed. But I continued playing because I was bored and I had quit my detox already anyway. "I'll finish this one game and then maybe other and go on a detox again", I thought. And slowly but steadily it totally got out of hand again. First just few hours a day, which I could live with, but very soon I realised I was playing 10 hours a day again.

The hard thing in qutting is that over time I tend to stop believing in video game addiction. I also get the feeling that when I dont game I recover alot of willpower and I start to feel I'm in control of my behavior. And that leads to thoughts like: "It's just a goddamn video game, not cocaine. If I feel like playing why couldn't I? I've made a way too big deal out of this." Now I feel I'm wired to only enjoy gaming again. I'm a bit irritated when I'm not gaming and that's really all I want to do now even though I realise it just makes me depressed and only adds to my stress. I have started to lag behind with my school assignments and I just wanna escape them to gaming now. The good thing is that I really have to start believing again I'm an addict. Video games are not just a form of entertainment to me, but a fucking mental poison that kills my interest in real life.

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First of all : be proud to have resisted 150 days ! It's not a little achievement.

You realized everything you need to get up again, so you should recover from relapse quickly now.

I've been so many times in your situation. Yes, we were totally addicted, and we will always get addicted when we play again. Surely there's out there exceptions, but I'm not one, and you are probably not one.

I tried so much : having only 2 games on my laptop, playing only with friends, playing one day in the week and not more. I tried so many rules to achieve moderate gaming. Nothing works, it just delays a bit the unavoidable : a full relapse. Don't fall for the same trap I did so often.

I heard one day a benedict monk saying : it's been 40 years I quit smoking, and every morning I wake up with the craving to smoke... But he didn't smoke in 40 years. We could do the same !

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Hoo boy, has that not also been me 😂. To me, I consider that the devil talking to me. "Just have one, it's not gonna hurt." I don't think I've ever had close to 150 days without games ever (unless you count me being a baby, of course). The fact that you made it to 150 days is really remarkable and a testament to your strength as a person.

As addicts, we've been wired like a piranha, or a shark. Once you get a taste for blood (or games, rather) you're gonna come back for seconds, and thirds, and more and more. 

I have to constantly remind myself of the addict nature. The addict in me is baffling, cunning, and insidious. He's really smooth talking and always seems chill. "Yeah man, you can play a game. It's all good bro." And I know he's lying.

Don't listen to the addict in you. Keep that guy in check. The only way to do that (at least for me) is to constantly be aware of it, and to surround yourself with people who are also adamant on overcoming the addict within themselves.

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Thanks for sharing. 150 days is still incredible and if you did it once you can do it again. One day at a time. Learn from the relapse and use it to grow.

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Hey!

150 days without the games is quite the number, you should know that if you went through this once, you would be able to go through it again. Try to see it as a reminder that video games are addictive but you can beat the addiction

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I totally feel where you're coming from - being in school and being addicted to video games. I felt the same way after 149 days of no games - I thought I could do moderation. Now I'm fucked up again. Lets stop being addicts

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3 hours ago, marcopolobus said:

I totally feel where you're coming from - being in school and being addicted to video games. I felt the same way after 149 days of no games - I thought I could do moderation. Now I'm fucked up again. Lets stop being addicts

Relapse can teach you a lot about yourself. I don't play in moderation because I can't. It's relieving to just accept that.

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