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Abdulaziz

I want my mind back - My story

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Hello,

So my name is Abdulaziz 33 years now and this is my story :

I am the youngest of my brothers I remember one of my brothers had a PC and he was playing a game on it and he would let me play on he's PC and I loved it was called Sakhr computers. Then I got Nintendo family where u get a like a cassette and in it u would have 1000 games! this was addicting and I would be playing for hours even at a young age (from 4pm till 7pm). Then one day I came back from school I was 11 saw my father and brother smiling and I look guess what it's a freaking PS1 with 3 games I still remember those games TOP GUN, Twisted Metal, and probably Tekken3?.

 

So far I've been playing regular games when I say regular I mean I STILL was not introduced to ONLINE gaming and this is when my grades went from average to poor. Around the age of 16 I got hooked at my 1st online game Counter Strike I would escape from home just to play with friends at a game shake till 5 am and sometimes would switch it to play War of Warcraft 3. 

All this while I was still in High school still and my life was ok because I managed to pass my school, after finishing HS I started playing a game called Gunbound and for the 1st time ever I started to play a game that has RANKS. This is when I became a ppltopass type of a player. Managed to be 7th Globally a blue dragon and 2nd in NA servers a red dragon and to be honest what made me love it so much is the sense of achievement I would see it by the minute and this alone gave me a great satisfaction. I sold my account and moved on to a new Online game called Maplestory and the same thing happens here as well played for hours.

 By this time I was studying in a university majoring in Business administration was already in 3 different universities around the Globe. My 1st was in a university in my home town Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Didn't do well moved to Dubai spent a year there didn't do well ether, finally I ended up in Vancouver struggled there between private and community colleges finished two years got my diploma then moved to the East side in a small town called Wolfville, NS managed to finish my university with a GPA of 2.34/4. At the age of 26 while most of my fellow classmates average age was at 22 It took me 8 years to get my bachelors degree since I was done high school. 

2012 came back home and found a job started as an administrative assistant guess what was my worry? dammit CoD coming this November how can I get a fiber optic internet speed so I can play all night. fast forward 2014 met my future wife decided to get married took a time off from work and in April 2015 got married my wife immediately noticed my problem bcuz she would see me playing CoD all day; At this time I decided I need to change to I stopped playing console games.

Now another gaming addiction and this is a new one freaking mobile gaming and what made it worse I can play it anywhere anytime, to the point if I stop in a traffic light I would be playing, a restaurant, waiting in a line, and while I am doing my 1 and 2 in the bathroom. 2017 we got a baby boy and my addiction didn't stop.

I know I have a gaming problem I am 33 years old now happily married and yet I don't feel like I accomplished anything in life I don't do good at work, didn't do well at school, and what's worse just recently I started playing in a private server of a game I used to play online back in 2005! I come here with great hope because I honestly didn't think my problem was because I played online games but google helped me find this community and hopefully there are stories like mine here which I already read.

 

Thank you for reading!

 

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Hi Abdulaziz, 

You have found a good place to be.  I used to think for a long time it was never a problem that I had, gaming was just the one hobby that I wanted to have.  I had so much trouble stopping but there is plenty of experience here to be gained from others and insight that others can give to help you.  Joining and reading what others have said has helped me already and I know it can help anyone else who is looking for help.  

 

Its great to have you with us.

 

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Welcome to this community of lovely people. I think what you need is a cut. Since mobile gaming seems to be very much of a problem delete all games from the phone. Since you came here for a reason, many of us have started and fullfilled the 90 days detox and it changes your mind completly. For some people doing this is easier than for others, i think it depends on if you got someone having your back or not. So you have a little family, and thats even more of a reason to stop. Cause a father or husband whos constantly psychologically absent is the same as being physical absent and may harm your child when it gets older. And when you say you feel like you have not accomplished things. Thats not true. Cause in fact you made this exam even with your addiction plus you have your family. Thats more of value than money could ever be. I know... there is this thought of how life could be without having wasted so much time on games. But this thought does not help. If you stop now at least the rest of your life wont be wasted. I wish you the best of luck and strenght.

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