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Roku

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This is the day before you begin with you 90 DAY detox. 

How do you feel? I feel really stressed about it that I wont be able to succeed. Eventho i really want to succeed.

You've download all the things you needed to so now do the work and tommorow you can add what you feel on your first day. .) 

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So I've just uninstalled all the games and unfollowed all the youtube game channels I've been watching. I kept the logins for the games cause it will be pretty hard for me to install them again if I would like to play. 🙂 

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DAY 1/90

So today was my first day. (My second try)

It was a quite cool experience. Even though I came home at 19:40 and I did not have time to play nor any games on my pc I started doing stuff to school. I was really struggling with youtube cause there are still some videos from creators I don't even follow. I just usually click on '' I don't like this''  option and it gets deleted. Pretty tough. BUT NO GAMES ONLY LIFE. 🙂 

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I started thinking about everything.  Much more deeply. It's not just thinking about games even though the lust still exists.

I am focusing a lot now on myself. I started learning to school again, I wanna start exercising and I am preparing for University plus I started modeling in blender. 

I focus on my look now 😄 I wanna get white hair. Thanks for asking. 🙂 

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DAY 2/90 

I want to play so much cause I am bored. I scheduled some exercising, wanna start climbing and I am learning to school. 

I found a friend here with whom I speak German. It's a great guy. Let's see how it all goes. Wish me luck.

 

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Good luck! The boredom is really common at the start when you suddenly have all this time and nothing to spend it on. It'll go away quick once you find meaningful activities that take up all that free time. Keep pushing, this phase will be over before you know it.

I'm encouraged that you're already getting outside and meeting people. It's an important step to leaving the games behind. Keep it up! 

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DAY 3/90 

Today I tried using Trello web tool to make my week program clear. I will try using it since Friday properly. I included everything I wanted to do so it's kinda balanced. 

I have been working in a blender the whole day so I'm kinda tired. See you tomorrow my journal.

-Adam 

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DAY 4/90

I felt so desperate today. I wanted to play but I just sticked to blender guides.

It was horrible day, I hope it will get better. In the free time between guides I planned how to recreate my look. 😄 It's pretty tough.

-Adam 

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Just now, Roku said:

DAY 4/90

I felt so desperate today. I wanted to play but I just sticked to blender guides.

It was horrible day, I hope it will get better. In the free time between guides I planned how to recreate my look. 😄 It's pretty tough.

 -Adam 

Give us some more details on the new look 😉

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DAY 5/90 

The urge to play is becoming bigger and bigger as I am getting bored. I don't want to do anything. Even the 3d MOdeling is kinda annoying me, cause I know a lot of stuff about it but I am still not capable of model something properly. I know small things first.

I made up my mind. I've created a week plan for myself which I would like to start using as soon as possible. The bad thing about it is that I still need to visit my driver's license lessons (which I totally hate btw) and it's gonna screw my program. I have free time on Mondays and Fridays and I will use these days to make a portfolio for myself so I can have materials if I wanna study on 3D modeling University. Then on Tuesday and Thursday, I wanna exercise for 2 hours (each day) in a gym. One our with a trainer so it won't be that boring and I won't hurt myself. The second hour I am planning to jog and stretch my muscles. Oh, I forgot. I have a German course on Monday. Which I started using only because I wanna get better at that language. Then there is the new thing on Wednesday. I started rock climbing. I wanted to start with it like 4 years ago when I wasn't addicted but my best friend left to America and I was too afraid to start alone. So Fridays and weekends are the only free days. I will probably hang out with friends or just clean my flat or do stuff to school. I just want to be stronger than my addiction. 

-Adam 

Edited by Roku
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On ‎12‎/‎20‎/‎2018 at 11:00 PM, Mads said:

Give us some more details on the new look 😉

I think that I am only getting blurry ideas but since summer my hair has grown into good really good length. So when I wanna be a new person now, I thought about drastically changing myself. I wanna exercise, I wanna change my hair color to platinum/ grey, I want to get a nose piercing (but I am not that sure about it). Then I want to change my clothing style. Get more elegant, decent and comfortable clothes. 🙂 

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2 hours ago, Roku said:

I think that I am only getting blurry ideas but since summer my hair has grown into good really good length. So when I wanna be a new person now, I thought about drastically changing myself. I wanna exercise, I wanna change my hair color to platinum/ grey, I want to get a nose piercing (but I am not that sure about it). Then I want to change my clothing style. Get more elegant, decent and comfortable clothes. 🙂 

Sounds good! Just do whatever makes you confident. Personally the nose ring isn't for me, but if you like it then you should go for it! 🙂

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Love all the new things you’re doing with your life! Working out, learning German, rock climbing, it’s all a huge step in the right direction. Best of luck! 

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DAY 6/90

Today I felt really different than the days before. I felt full and I really want to go and enjoy the stuff I wanna do. In the morning it was a bit harder but then I got really into the stuff I am doing and it was all fine again.

Kinda short today but whatever.

-Adam

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On 12/21/2018 at 5:47 PM, Roku said:

I think that I am only getting blurry ideas but since summer my hair has grown into good really good length. So when I wanna be a new person now, I thought about drastically changing myself. I wanna exercise, I wanna change my hair color to platinum/ grey, I want to get a nose piercing (but I am not that sure about it). Then I want to change my clothing style. Get more elegant, decent and comfortable clothes. 🙂 

I started dressing better about a year ago, and I'm glad I do!  It gives me a small feeling of mastery over my life.  Before, I used to just wear whatever was the easiest, but I don't think I'll ever go back to that.  Give it a shot!

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DAY 7/90 + DAY 8/90

Sorry I was a bit busy person. I was buying gifts for my friends and family then I was cleaning our house and I haven't had that much free time. 

The Christmas evening was great. My family for fathers side came over so we ate, laughed, and we've been unpacking our gifts. It was really calm and I liked how it feels to be a part of a family again. 

I'll try to write a bit more next time. Sorry 😄 

-Adam

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