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Mads

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  1. Hey ? I just read your entire journal (which I enjoyed a lot btw) and can't help but wonder how the marathon training is going?
  2. Welp, I'm not feeling all too good today. Having a really hard time articulating myself as well right now. I'm currently on Christmas break and I've realised that I don't feel like doing anything right now. I think that's due to me not allowing myself to do any of the things I'd normally do if I were to spend time by myself (play games, watch videos/livestreams, check social media etc.). This silence has made me rather emotional. Emotions that I previously didn't know that I have. I think I've been numbing myself to my emotions by constantly being in touch with a screen. Could also just be that I'm emotionally unstable right now cause I'm trying to quit an addiction, who knows... Feeling quite lonely even though I spent all of yesterday together with family. Furthermore I'm feeling really let down by my girlfriend right now, but I can't tell if my emotions can be justified or if I'm just being a bi*** ? So far the most productive and enjoyable thing I've done today is running with a friend. It was just a short and slow paced 30 min run since he has asthma and forgot to take his medications. Don't know what to make of my newly discovered lonely and emotional self, but I'm hoping these emotions will pass quickly.
  3. Still haven't fixed my sleeping schedule, and I've also been watching some Twitch and YouTube and checking my FaceBook account. Four days ago I wrote the following: Well I've reached the point of caring again ? This means that I once again will try to do the following: I'm a little on the fence about my first goal since I don't think it'll be very easy for me to do during the Christmas break, but that's okay. The two others should be doable, and I'm also going to hold myself accountable on how much time I spend every day on "mindless internet browsing".
  4. Welcome indeed! Really liking your third goal. Working out is crucial and is easy once you get into the habit of doing it (as I'm sure you've experienced yourself). Good luck on your journey!
  5. I can start university this summer, yes. In Denmark most uni educations don't have entrance exams. Whether you get in or not is purely based on your grades. So a goal could definitely be to get some target grades, but really I'm doing quite fine on all of my grades. I should be able to get into almost everything, with a few exceptions, if I don't mess up this last half year. So it's basically a matter of whether I want to be able to get into everything (I don't know what I want to study yet).
  6. Hey guys, sorry for not updating the last couple of days, I've been busy with life ? Thursday I handed in my project. Not too happy with how it went / how I managed my time, but I'm still very glad that it's over. I'll get my grade in a couple of months, so I'll just have to wait and see how it goes. I've been enjoying my Christmas break by hanging out with family, friends and girlfriend so far. I've also watched some Twitch, but not too much since I've been so busy doing other stuff, so I think that's fine. My sleep schedule is pretty off due to me pulling an all nighter Wednesday to Thursday, and because I've been hanging out with some friends into the late hours... I'm hoping to fix that pretty soon, but I know it will be hard when seeing friends and family. If fine with it not being perfect as long as I get it back to going to bed before 10 PM before school starts again on the 3rd of January. I've managed to run twice this week. Hoping to bump that up to three times this next week. Should be pretty doable. I've also enjoyed reading some of the journals on here. I wish I had more direction in life as in I wish I had something specific to strive for. Take @Deku for example; he really really wants to go to med school which requires hard work. I on the other hand have no goal of such "caliber", I just try to go with the flow. Maybe I should set some goals for my self. Well not maybe, I definitely should do that. I'll spend some time thinking about it. And I don't mean goals such as those that I already have (Not watching Twitch/YouTube, no social medias, having a good sleep schedule and running three times a week), but something more long term or substantial. - Mads
  7. Hey man, Good on you for actively dealing with your problems. First I'll give you my thoughts on your situation and your relationship with your parents. Your relationship with your parents come off to me as being very unhealthy in many ways. In my opinion your parents made a huge mistake when they completely prohibited you from playing video games. In high school you were no longer child but nor were you yet a man. You were starting to become an adult, and thus should be allowed to have an influence on how you spend your time. The way that your parents handled you playing video games was a surefire way to make you an addict once you finally got to make your own decisions - you never got the chance to learn to take the right ones. My point here being that you shouldn't be too harsh on yourself but instead try to remember that it's not only your fault. You lying to your parents is no good either of course since it just breeds distrust, and this is why they're reacting like they are atm. I think this is a problem that you need to handle without your parents, but also you should try to improve your mutual trust in each other. You need to prove to them that you can handle university, and that will take some time. As far as living in a car goes: If you think it'll work for you, then why not. I hope you're not planning to live in a car for the rest of your life, which means that eventually you will have to be able to stay in a normal home while having a healthy relationship to gaming. Though this is something that you can work on later if you think the car solution is what you need right now. I've seen someone write here on the forum, that they don't have a computer at home and instead do all their work at libraries / on campus. This could also be a solution to your problem, and will make your living conditions much more comfortable. Living an uncomfortable life in order to make sure you don't game might be a necessity for you, but personally I think I'd go for the "normal home, no computer" solution. Patience is a virtue and you're in it for the long haul. Remember to be forgiveful of yourself, and always try your best. Try to never lie to your parents again, even if that means you have to admit failure. If you feel the need to lie to your parents, make sure you have really good reasons. I wish you the best of luck! Kind regards, Mads
  8. Mads

    My JOURNAL

    Sounds good! Just do whatever makes you confident. Personally the nose ring isn't for me, but if you like it then you should go for it! ?
  9. Mads

    My JOURNAL

    Give us some more details on the new look ?
  10. Thank you Deku! Both for the kind words and the advice. I didn't update the journal last night since I was cramming to finish my project. Worked on it for the 14 hours straight from 9PM to 11AM.. gosh I'm glad that over. It's difficult to describe how I'm feeling right now. It's a mixture of extremely tired, happy and relieved haha. The whole not watching YouTube and Twitch thing wasn't going too well, and right now I simply don't care. I think I will care again soon enough, but I think it's okay that I enjoy my first days of the Christmas vacation after such a stressfull experience. Once again, thank you ?
  11. Tuesday. Dec. 18, 2018 Damn. Not my best day nor my worst day. I did wake up early like I wanted to. I also did get nine hours of sleep which is indeed respectable. But then the day started, which meant I had to work on finishing my project. Problem being was that I didn't want to, and as a result there of I didn't do any... I actually spent most of my day watching YouTube videos (which were really interesting and informative, but that's beside the point), and I felt bad. I was, and still am, very far behind on my project. I did get quite some work done this evening, but it's not nearly enough. So now I'm contemplating if I should give up some sleep to get some more work done, or if I should stick with my sleep schedule, and hope I miraculously get a ton of work done tomorrow. ? Not too proud of giving into YouTube temptations on the 2nd day of committing not to, but it is what it is.
  12. Dec. 17, 2018 So far so good. No Twitch, Youtube and social media today. Went for a walk with some family today, so that was nice. Currently writing this at 8.40 PM, so going to bed before 10 PM should go smooth. Regarding my productivity.. meh.. I did get some work done today, but it sure would have been nice if I had gotten even more done. I'm working on a big project (it's an exam) which has to be finished by Thursday. Feeling really stressed about it because I'm quite far behind schedule, but I'm hoping that I can pull through despite that. I've just got to get a good night's rest and be really efficient with my time tomorrow. Once this project is finished I get to enjoy my Christmas holiday ? Really looking forward to that! The urge to watch Twitch and Youtube and to check social media was definitely prevalent in me. It's hard to resist, especially when I know that what I have to do is cram to get this project done (which I'm really not enjoying)... Thank you if you took the time to read my thoughts. Trying to get used to writing this journal. I'm not very good at it yet, but I think with time I'll improve at sharing my thoughts and hopefully I'll also improve my ability to reflect on my day in general.
  13. I bought a cheap so called "dumbphone" instead - a Nokia in fact. So people can still reach me by phone :) My Nokia doesn't offer as many distractions given that it has no internet capability. The worst it can do as far as distracting me is the Snake game. Luckily it's far too slow paced for my brain which is accustomed to high surges of dopamine :)
  14. Good job. For me it works best to just quit it all together once in a while, though I would like to have a healthy and balanced relationship with my smartphone, haha.
  15. Thank you! It's a lovely country ;) At least when it isn't cold...
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