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Accountability Journal - Jeff


DaMudaPacker

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This is Jeff's Accountability Journal. I am 5 days in quitting gaming and so far I'm doing well, but today I played CSGO again...

So this is my accountability journal. Nothing fancy here :)

Why quit?

I have been slacking way too much for the last 2 years or so. I played video games at 70 hours an week at one point about a year back. That's right, I played games for the amount of time people went to work. My grades are absolutely awful, I feel so stupid and my brain feels under-active, tired, and empty. So I'm going to quit and and spend my time better. 

Goals

"New year, new me."  I guess.

Workout again :

I used to love going to the gym. I would go three or four times a week and I lost a ton of weight and was in pretty solid shape. Now all my clothes are too small and don't fit me anymore. Doesn't feel good, doesn't look good, I don't like it.

Become Smarter:

This means doing better in school, reading more and learning more skills. I need to work on my education and knowledge so that I can set myself up for success, instead of what I have been doing. I bought some self-help books, like most people do, also some fiction because I think I want to write a book one day. 

Conclusion

I'm pretty excited about this year, and I'm much happier now that I'm free from games (mostly). Can't wait to see what's going to happen and we're all going to make it!

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Day 1:

Went to church today. First time in a long time on a Sunday. I'm not really religious, but I love my friends there and it's a great place to start the day I feel. I slept last night a 2am because I stayed up watching Narcos. Not a proud moment and I need to start sleeping earlier. I want to get into bed at 10:30pm and be sleeping by 11:00pm. Still have a lot of work left to do today and my fatigue is really getting to me. Gonna grind it out, try to finish this assignment. School starts tomorrow, and I have to say, I am not very excited. I've come to realize that some of my "friends" are toxic and I plan to avoid them as much as I can for the next year and a semester. I feel that I can do better without wasting my time on them and I'll hang out with better friends. Maybe I'll gain some insight.

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Hey Jeff! I'm really happy that you're here! We are almost on the same boat, though. I played last time at 31 December, and 2016 is gonna to be my year of change. I hope it'll also be yours!

We are struggling with many difficulties and obstacles at the beginning, but I know we will manage to run over them.

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Yeah hycniejsy! We got this! 

Onto today's journal entry.

First day of school and it went really well. Caught up with a lot of good friends, avoided the ones that I mentioned above and handed in my work as well. Went to the gym right after, but the workout was really bad because my right knee was clicking and I'm not sure why. It wasn't painful, but felt really weird. I was also so tired at school that I fell asleep for 40 minutes during the last period. Really proud that I went to the gym even being tired. Isn't much, but day by day, I'll reach my goals. Feeling great!

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Yeah going to the gym again is great. Already lost some weight and my clothes more loose. Nothing big happened today, went to school, eat food, you know. Just realized how much time I have left now that I don't play video games. Also starting to eat a lot healthier, cutting out meat and most dairy products. Now I just need to focus on my work and learning and I'll be on my way :)

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Hell yea you'll be! It's just a process, remember about that!

And that's awesome that you're able to work out despite the tiredness.

Being able to train on the gym is something you should be grateful for, I'd been trying couple of time to do it when I was younger, but doctor had forbidden me to do it because of problems with spine.

Edited by hycniejsy
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Yeah I need to check out my spine or lower back at some point. My form is good, that's guaranteed, but there's some discomfort there. I got an x-ray once and there wasn't any issue. Might just be that my back muscles are so tense because I sit down too much. Who knows?

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Yoga is pretty nice and I always get a nice sweat out of it. But the more I workout, the less pain I have in my lower back. 

I've been crazy tired and fatigued for the past few months or more. I'm not sure what the cause is, but I have a good idea. My brain feels completely blank and I can't focus or complete my homework as easily or even get into my work anymore. I think the causes of these are:
 

-My lack of sleep over the past two years or so
-My weight gain over the last year, about 30 lbs since late 2014, all fat, since I didn't consistently go to the gym during 2015
-Overexposure to video games and other stimulants which reduced my interest in work and my attention span (possibly, not a doctor, just a guess)
-Over stressing due to piling amounts of work and a sense of no progression
-Awful diet over the last year
-Lack of excercise

I have been working on most things on that list except for the sleep part. I keep staying up watching random videos or netflix. I've always slept really late ever since I was 13. It's time to break a really bad old habit. Also extremely tired right now at school, have to work out in 4 and a half hours. 

 

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Alright so went to the gym on Wednesday and then again today. I think I messed up my left shoulder because I slept in a bad position. Got some work done during the week and overall doing alright. Just trying to figure where I'm going and what I plan to with my life right now :|

 

It's one of those days where you sit down and question your life decisions and realize you have no clue where you're going...

Edited by DaMudaPacker
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Alright so went to the gym on Wednesday and then again today. I think I messed up my left shoulder because I slept in a bad position. Got some work done during the week and overall doing alright. Just trying to figure where I'm going and what I plan to with my life right now :|

What's one goal you want to have for the next month? When you're just starting out with goal setting, try to keep things in smaller milestones. I like 1-3 goals for the month and then break those into small milestones each week.

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Hmmm... that's very interesting actually. I guess I'm always stuck looking at the big picture, I fail to realize the small things I have to do.

I want to :

Finish 3 units per course in school
Lose 5 pounds and get into better shape & eat healthier
Read 2 books

Small goals :D

Thanks for the help Cam!

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One week in! 

I'm really happy I came to this forum because it helps me keep track of my progress and notes and also the great support from you guys!  

Went to church again today then ate out with church friends like last sunday. There's a huge snow storm outside right now and I love snow storms because I live in Canada and snow is like our life essence. Did a good amount of work this week and went to the gym three times. It's a good start, but I need to work harder. This week, I want to finish 1984 by Geroge Orwell, and start The Power of Habit by an author who I can't recall right now.

Here's to another week!

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So I just played video games again. I spent the last 3 hours just playing and I feel like I just wasted a lot of time. I'm still trying to sell my accounts and so far, there's no luck. I've dropped the price of the account so that I don't waste anymore time on games. Man, pretty disappointed in myself at the moment. 

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So I just played video games again. I spent the last 3 hours just playing and I feel like I just wasted a lot of time.

Hey man. Thanks for sharing. This doesn't have to be a bad thing if you learn from it and use that learning to help you in the future. Any idea what you justified to play? 

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Mainly just because I felt I had the time, but really I don't. I have tons of working piling on top and I need to spend my time more wisely than video games.

So I went on Facebook today, which is something I don't do very often now because it's such of a waste of time and honestly the amount of rubbish on there is astounding. But I did see what I looked like 2 years ago from Facebook telling me. Saw my old friends, how happy I was and even how much healthier I looked. I'm by no means obese, but I've gained around 40lbs in the last 2 years and most of it is fat. So I want to look like I did 2 years ago. I want to travel like I did 2 years ago. I want to do well in school like 2 years ago. Let's do this! 

I've also stared a sleeping ritual where I don't look at my phone after my nightly shower and so far, I've fallen asleep so much easier. Things are looking up! I've kept to a vegetarian diet and slowly I'm losing weight and I've held to going to the gym for 3 weeks straight. Small steps everyday.

 

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Hey Cam! Thanks for asking :)

Week's been really good actually. Hit a squat PR at the gym, overall feeling stronger, I started stretch and foam rolling and my mobility is getting better. Went out with my family and ate some noodles today, and they tasted amazing. I still have a lot of work left to do, but I think I should be caught up in the next 40 days or so if I work hard enough. 

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Hey Cam! Thanks for asking :)

Week's been really good actually. Hit a squat PR at the gym, overall feeling stronger, I started stretch and foam rolling and my mobility is getting better. Went out with my family and ate some noodles today, and they tasted amazing. I still have a lot of work left to do, but I think I should be caught up in the next 40 days or so if I work hard enough. 

Congrats man! :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh man... I did it again...

Played through Fallout 3, and spent way too much time in the last 2 weeks on this game. Thankfully, I still got a decent amount of work done and still going to the gym. 

Need to stop again and honestly, I felt so bored playing them again. I still need to do more in life because I feel like I'm wasting my life away.

Something I failed to mentioned before was that my mother had an asshole of a boyfriend. He still talks to her and every time I see him, my blood boils. I don't want to get too much into him, but he's a good reminder that the real world isn't easy and I will be a loser if I continue to play games so much. Starting my 90 Day Detox, again :\ 

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