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Day 51/90 | Productive hours: 4:25 | Work hours: 1:40 (44%)

Sleep: 5:30am - 2:00pm

Seems like my fatigue is back on track. Today ended up being a crapshoot of productivity because I went to see a friend all the way across town. Spent a lot of time talking with him and then telling my wife about my conversation with him lol. Overall it's nice to have some company (I rarely hang out with people), but I just gotta be better at estimating how much time this is going to eat up.

Productivity: Once I got to work, it was good.

Cravings: I did some gardening today and I think it helped overall. Still have the urge to play Fallout. The main problem is that because I like the game so much (and I consider it an actual masterpiece, not just a fun game), I don't find a negative feeling associated with it in my head. Like if I had cravings to play Civ or some other strategy game, I'd say "man, what a stupid waste of time". But Fallout is special. *sigh* Good thing I can't play any of it on a Mac. I think I would've relapsed by now otherwise.

Feeling: Need to catch up on work.

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 15 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 15 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 15 days
  • Personal to-do list: 12 days
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

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Day 52/90 | Productive hours: 8:35 | Work hours: 4:50 (88%)

Sleep: 5:15am - 12:00pm

Today was a bit of an experiment. I noticed that I don't actually track my whole day. Like I'd be up at 2, but only start tracking time at 5pm. And then I wonder, why do I only have enough time for like 6-7 hours of productive activity despite being pretty good about not wasting time.

So I started tracking my time from the beginning of my day. And I realized where a lot of my time goes: random unscheduled breaks. I get "tired" of working whatever it is I'm working on and take 5 minutes off to go do something else. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes it ends up lasting longer.

I'm also realizing I'm pushing myself pretty hard. Like those 8.5 hours of productive work isn't the same as spending 8 hours at the office where you can go chat with coworkers, half-attend meetings, go get coffee, etc. Those are 8.5 hours of productive activity. When I'm studying, I don't even count bathroom breaks. So that's actually quite a lot of focus and energy output and I'm not doing much to recharge.

Back when I first joined these forums, the advice I got was to spend 2 hours working on the laptop and then an hour off. I think I need to go back to that.

I also need to go back to the pomodorro technique and breaking big tasks down into small ones to make them more manageable. This should help eliminate all those mini-breaks that turn into hours of wasted time.

But I also need to give myself more time to relax and do stuff I enjoy. Gardening is one of those things and I've been neglecting it in Ramadan. But I feel like I need another hobby that will allow me to just turn my brain off. Something that's not physically or mentally intensive or require learning. A lot of things I enjoy doing involve some kind of intellectual stimulation, but I need something where I can just focus on doing.

Maybe I just need to go to the gym, I don't know. I have that planned for once I hit 90 days of this detox. But that's once again working on myself and involves effort. I need to do something that's effortless. Kinda the way gaming is.

Something to think about...

Productivity: Very distracted. Got a lot done simply by having a lot of time available, but could've probably done a lot more.

Cravings: Minor. This damn new Fallout game is popping up in my feeds and making them worse.

Feeling: Pretty focused on solving this recent challenge.

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 16 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 16 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 16 days
  • Personal to-do list: 13 days (went 20 mins over today)
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

 

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Day 53/90 | Productive hours: 9:20 | Work hours: 5:40 (119%)

Sleep: 4:30 - 1:30

So I kinda relapsed today. I watched a few vids, including a game "lets play". It sucked (the lets play). I'm not going to count it because I stopped doing it pretty fast and I don't really feel like going back to it. And no games, which is the main point.

I also realized that I can now recognize by feeling when I'm watching videos on purpose and when it's to waste time the way I used to before starting the detox. Overall I found that I dislike this feeling and it's a lot easier to just say no to this stuff. So that's good I guess?

Otherwise today was a weird day in that my wife was busy the entire time and I ate alone. Which meant that I did some productive stuff while eating, hence the huge boost in productive hours and more work hours than predicted.

Productivity: Distraction was less of a problem. I like having the phone in another room.

Cravings: Semi-relapse, but I'm feeling good overall. I realized that I actually really don't like watching videos to waste time. It gives me a bad feeling now.

Feeling: Want to do tomorrow well and stay away from vids and games.

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 17 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 17 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 17 days
  • Personal to-do list: 14 days (I'm 60 minutes over, need to take a few days off)
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

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Day 54/90 | Productive hours: 5:55 | Work hours: 3:10 (79%)

Sleep: 4:30am - 1:30pm

Spent a lot of time with the wife today - had some family stuff come up and we were just discussing our lives and the challenges we're facing right now. It was good, therapeutic. But it also took up a bunch of time and put me in a pessimistic mood for the rest of the day.

I feel like once I know I'm not going to be as productive in a particular day, I don't try as hard to stay productive and waste even more time.

I worked 25 hours so far this week, and I want to be at 35, so still have more productivity efforts to go.

Productivity: It was OK when I was actually doing productive stuff.

Cravings: Watched some let's play vids of Fallout 1. They're all crap, nobody knows how to play this game or does something stupid like "I won't pay attention to the dialogue too much" or "let me play with an intelligence = 3 character". Destroys the whole thing and really makes me want to do it myself instead. It's a bit of a problem: I've used let's plays in the past to avoid actual gaming, but so far the thing that's preventing me from relapsing is the fact that I have a Mac. Well, thank God for that. Need to figure out a long-term solution for these cravings though. Gotta do the whole "be aware of the craving and just roll with it" thing.

Feeling: Tired and want to be productive tomorrow.

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 18 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 18 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 18 days
  • Personal to-do list: 15 days (I'm 60 minutes over, need to take a few days off)
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

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Day 55/90 | Productive hours: 7:15 | Work hours: 4:50 (107%)

Sleep: 5:45am - 1:30pm

It's a been a mixed bag. My wife was busy today so I ended up just sitting in my room and working away. I think I could've beat my work-hours prediction by an hour+ if not for my other big time waster: health. Depending on diet and/or randomness, it can take me an hour+ to use the washroom (for #1). On most days it's totally normal or within bounds (5-10 minutes). Today it was more than an hour.

On the positive side, I found a fiction book I enjoy!

Productivity: Fairly productive, but really need to get the phone out of my office...

Cravings: Still watching Fallout let's plays. Man these guys suck at this game. So the craving to play is for real (just this one game, nothing else for the most part). Having a Mac is the only thing that's keeping away from it.

Feeling: Still tired, want to keep going with the productivity and not fall into the games again.

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 19 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 19 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 19 days
  • Personal to-do list: 16 days (I'm 30 minutes over, need to take tomorrow off)
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

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Tell me about it. The only reason I've not relapsed is that my gaming mouse is broken haha. I don't really have any smartass advice, but you've been doing a great job so far so keep going. Be careful about the videos, it only amplifies cravings. 

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Day 56/90 | Productive hours: 3:45 | Work hours: 1:30 (41%)

Sleep: 5:00am - 2:30pm

Ugh. This was a crapshoot of a day. Started with me watching a soccer game (world cup is coming up and all)... had to leave the second half for a work meeting, but that was an hour down the drain. Then some stuff came up with the wife, then I got stuck in the washroom because of my health issue, and so I finally sat down to be productive past 11pm with no motivation to do so.

So I just watched a bunch of videos, including lets plays... sigh. I finally forced myself to keep up my habits, but essentially this has been a relapse day. Still game-free and I intend to do get rid of the vids again (plan for that: no more phone in my office or in the bathroom), but this is pretty bad.

Productivity: Pretty much none. At least I forced myself to get my habits to continue

Cravings: Still watching Fallout vids. I feel like a relapse is imminent, it's just a matter of when. So far inconvenience (I need to set up a Wineskin to play it) + not wanting to lose the 56 days of progress is keeping me from doing it, but it's a close call. Definitely would've relapsed by now if I owned a PC. This is typical for me too - I start out strong and then slowly I start making small inroads (like allowing this or that) and then it grows until I get closer and closer to gaming and then I just end up gaming.

*Sigh*

Feeling: Disappointed and feeling like I'm going to relapse and there isn't much I can do about it.

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 20 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 20 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 20 days
  • Personal to-do list: 17 days
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

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5 hours ago, JustTom said:

Tell me about it. The only reason I've not relapsed is that my gaming mouse is broken haha. I don't really have any smartass advice, but you've been doing a great job so far so keep going. Be careful about the videos, it only amplifies cravings. 

Yeah the videos are bad :( I'm really hoping the inconvenience of owning a Mac will help me hold out until day 90 at least. But it's not looking likely.

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There is a little bit of hope - something I've experienced when I was trying to quit LoL way before doing a full detox. I requested my account to be deleted by the support. I kept watching pro matches and videos, but after some time(month or two), I became bored by the fact that I could only watch and not play. Before that, I was able to watch the same thing for years, but when I couldn't play, it became too repetitive and dull, so I eventually stopped naturally. Then things happened and I got my account back lol, but the principle stays. As long as you don't play, you make sure you don't relapse by any means necessary(having a MAC/no gaming mouse), you and I will get bored of the vids eventually. 

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Day 57/90 | Productive hours: 5:00 | Work hours: 2:40 (?%)

Sleep: 6:00am - 1:30pm

I was *this* close to relapsing today. Didn't do it mostly because of my Mac. The thing is, you CAN play PC games on a Mac. It just takes a bit more research and effort. So I put in that research and effort. I did get some work done in the middle, so it wasn't so bad and it was pretty hard to figure it out.

But it's right before my bedtime and I finally got it. And I was literally in the process of installing Fallout 1, but I was also going on these forums to post today's journal. And the first post that I saw was by a member who relapsed 15 days before the end. And God, that must feel like crap. And I realized that's what I'm doing to myself and I just said "no, not today" and I went and deleted all the apps I had to get to get PC games working on a Mac.

Doesn't mean I won't repeat tomorrow. I hope not. The problem is, I know what to do now, so it's a lot easier to do. But at least in the meantime I'm not gaming and that's a win. And it's all because of these forums!

Productivity: I got some stuff done. Not as much as I wanted. But hey, tomorrow's a new day...

Cravings: A lot. As you can see, I almost caved in today.

Feeling: Relieved that I didn't game. Super tired. Need to get sleep and finally crush it again, because I've been having very lackluster days productivity-wise.

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 21 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 21 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 21 days
  • Personal to-do list: 18 days... ish. Didn't do it today, but I'm gonna spend 60 minutes tomorrow on something I have planned, so should be OK.
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

11 hours ago, JustTom said:

There is a little bit of hope - something I've experienced when I was trying to quit LoL way before doing a full detox. I requested my account to be deleted by the support. I kept watching pro matches and videos, but after some time(month or two), I became bored by the fact that I could only watch and not play. Before that, I was able to watch the same thing for years, but when I couldn't play, it became too repetitive and dull, so I eventually stopped naturally. Then things happened and I got my account back lol, but the principle stays. As long as you don't play, you make sure you don't relapse by any means necessary(having a MAC/no gaming mouse), you and I will get bored of the vids eventually. 

Yeah, the problem is that you CAN plan PC games on a Mac, you just to put in more work, hence today. By the way, if you end up getting a new mouse, get a trackball. Better for you anyway (I was starting to get carpal tunnel until I got myself a trackball) and you can't play any fast-paced game with it.

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Day 58/90 | Productive hours: 7:05 | Work hours: 3:35 (119%)

Sleep: 6:00am - 2:30pm

After a close call yesterday, today was a lot better. Productivity sucked - the only reason I went over my predicted hours is because I'm up way past my bedtime finishing up urgent work that couldn't wait until tomorrow.

Productivity: A lot of distractions and wasting time. May be due to the fatigue. Couldn't sleep for several hours because neighbor was doing some loud construction.

Cravings: Not as bad as yesterday. Still pretty strong, but it was a like a dull faraway type of craving that I could just block out. Not nearly as bad as yesterday. I think cutting out videos and the news (which is where I saw updates about games) is helping.

Feeling: Very happy that today's a lot easier. I honestly don't know how I managed to stay away from games. I prayed for it the day it got really bad, so looks like it worked :) 

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 22 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 22 days
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 22 days
  • Personal to-do list: 19 days. (did a lot of it today, will take tomorrow off)
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

22 hours ago, JustTom said:

I am convinced it will pass away after a few days. Just have to fight through. C'mon, it would be too easy if you didn't have to fight. 

Thanks. It's easier today. Might be able to just get through it.

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Day 59/90 | Food poisoning :2_grimacing:

Sleep: ???

I'm down with really bad food poisoning. Probably the street food I ate yesterday. Would wake up regularly to puke, although I haven't for the past 12 hours or so. Had a massive fever too, but that seems to have gone away.

Nauseous to some degree at all times. Had to break my fast and won't be fasting tomorrow either. 

So aside from like 15 minutes of work that I had to put in, I've been bed-ridden the whole time and sleeping whenever the nausea is tolerable. 

Anyway, I think I'm feeling slightly better, but if this continues for another 12 hours or so, I might need to hit up the hospital.

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Day 60/90 | Food poisoning Day 2 :2_grimacing: | Productive hours: 4:30 | Work hours: 4:15

Day 61/90 | Food poisoning Day 3 :2_grimacing: | Productive hours: 2:25 | Work hours: 1:55

Still on a mostly soup/cracker/fruit diet, about 75% back to normal. Hoping tomorrow will be a more productive day. I've been pretty good about keeping up some work (because I need the money and because I can just do it on my laptop in bed), but I've fallen behind on most my other habits. I'm not holding myself to it - I've been super unwell - but I hope I can get back into the swing of things.

I'm trying to fast today again. Ramadan is coming to an end, kinda sucks not to be fasting and generally being a lazy unproductive bum in these last nights... On the plus side, I'm getting a lot of sleep!

Cravings were pretty minimal at first, but once I could go about the house without carrying around a puke bucket just in case, they kicked back in full force. It was one of those "c'mon, you're sick, it's OK to game" feelings. And maybe it is, but it's still going to prevent my brain from re-wiring into a less game-dependent state. So I'm staying away.

In other news, I'm 2/3 of the way into this detox. It's crazy! I still remember my 2-week (or was it 3?) gaming binge that led me to come to these forums in the first place. If you were to tell me back then that I'd be able to go cold-turkey on games AND videos (well, OK, the videos things I kinda cheated on sometimes) for 60 days straight, I wouldn't have believed you.

I seem to have survived that really hard period that a lot of people get around day 40+. Let's see if the last 30 are easier or there are more obstacles on the way.

Edited by karabas
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Mad respect for keeping strong during a bad period. Sickness is always such an easy excuse, I used to fall for it a lot during allergy season when I had hay fever. 

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sorry to hear about that, brother. Hope u will get better soon!! I am proud of your too, even when you are sick, u still keep working on the bed. I admire your spirit!!

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Day 64/90 | Productive hours: 6:05 | Work hours: 3:20 (105%)

Sleep: 5:00am - 3:30pm

I'm basically back, but with a problem: I'm now fully relapsed on videos. Not gaming videos, but I'm watching a lot about football (since the World Cup is coming up) and just random stuff here and there.

I'm doing a short 24-hour trip and not taking my laptop, so hopefully that will help get off of this stupid video habit. But it's kicking my butt in terms of productivity, so it needs to stop.

Productivity: Very bad. A lot of video watching. The only reason I got more work done than planned is because I stayed up 1.5 hours past my bedtime to finish up some urgent work.

Cravings: None for games... too busy watching vids.

Feeling: Gah

Minor habits:

  • Morning/evening spiritual routine: check
  • Religious study (jurisprudence): 24 days
  • Religious study (purification of the heart): 1 days (missed one yesterday)
  • Extra Qur'an & Study: 25 days
  • Personal to-do list: 20 days
  • Career-related study routine (on hold)
  • 15 minutes of working on my business idea (on hold)

Major Habit: on hold for Ramadan

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Days 65-66/90 | Travel

I had to do some necessary travel to renew my visa, so the past two days have been a write-off mostly. Also I'm really tired, but I'm hoping I can bounce back tomorrow. Let's see how that goes.

I'm totally back into vids now, but I'm really not feeling like renewing my addiction. The problem is the World Cup. I'm not a sports guy and I don't watch sports, but I love the WC and I've been watching commentary/predictions/highlights videos non-stop.

So, a new resolution: I will once again stop watching all videos unless they are:

- My home country's WC game. They are super highly unlikely to go past the first knockout round, so I'm looking at 5 games in total, tops.

- Highlights of other WC games

- Semi-final and finals of WC.

- Educational videos I intended to watch (I've been bad about watching educational videos in my areas of interest, but without pre-meditation)

This bad includes Facebook videos, as well as bringing my phone to the bathroom, even if I'm having trouble going.

Ok, so that's #1.

#2 is I need to re-new my early sleep habit. The latest reasonable time I can wake up for prayer is 4:45am. Optimally, I want to get 8 hours of sleep in one go. 7 would be second-best. That means going to bed at 8:45pm, or at least 9:45. That's tough, so I'm going to give myself a break and say 11 to start with. I need to be in bed with lights out by 11. That means I need to drop everything by 10pm and I can't have dinner any later than 9pm. If I can maintain my 11pm habit for a week, I'll move to 10:30 and so on. The sunrise time will be getting later and later now, so I won't actually need to be sleeping at 8:45 to get my 8 hours.

#3 is my plan for my religious studies now that Ramadan is over. I realized I need to complete these thing ASAP. So I'm going to try to maintain the 2:15 hours I've been putting in Ramadan. Right now I'm doing 45 minutes of Qur'an review, 45 minutes of jurisprudence, and 45 minutes of spirituality. I should be done with Qur'an review soon, at which point I can allow for just 20 minutes a day to maintain my memorization. That will give me 65 minutes to study spirituality, which I should be able to finish in a month or so. Once it's done, I can focus on the biggest subject, which is jurisprudence, for 110 minutes a day. It'll still take me a long time to finish thing, but it'll be coming along a lot faster.

Finally, #4 is I need to put in 5 hours of work a day, meaning 35 hours a week. If I don't have work, I can always look for more clients. That, together with studies and personal tasks and working on my business, should amount to 8 hours/day. It's totally doable, but I haven't been able to accomplish this as a steady practice in the past. I need to identfy the problem and start with that.

My wife is starting a course at a center across town. I'll be coming with her and will look for a cafe with good wifi to use for my work and studies until she's done. This sounds like a good opportunity to see if getting out of the house would be a good practice for me to get my productivity up.

Alright... that's all for now :) Let's see how this works out!

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Days 65-66/90 | Travel

Alright, today was a write off. I couldn't wake up for ages (recovering from the trip) and was sleepy and unproductive most of the day.

And now it's super late because I was trying to finish up some urgent work. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day in that sense now that I've gotten some rest. Goal is to wake up before noon.

Also, our clocks moved forward today, so my short-term bedtime goal is now midnight. Just making sure you guys don't think I decided to slack off :)

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Days 67-68/90 | Video relapse

Man, that trip screwed me up. I was so tired that I ended up watching a lot of vids. Then more the next day. Now I'm full-on video relapsed: I just binge-watched a whole season of a show on Netflix in one day.

I've been sleeping like 2 hours a day. My wife thinks I'm heroically working to put bread on the table. I am getting the bare minimum of work done, but I could be doing a hell of a lot better.

I hate myself when I'm like this. Such a waste of time and opportunity.

I'm re-resolving to quit vids tomorrow. I need to get rest and go to bed early tomorrow.

Still haven't gamed though, so that's a good thing and why I'm keep the counter going.

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What channels are you using to watch content? Youtube/TV/streams? Can you think of a way that reduces the temptation to click on it so that you make it easier on your willpower?

Since I've unsubscribed from all my youtube channels(70+ lol), every time I watch a video, I have to specifically search for it so I end up watching much much less. All recommendations and history tracking is disabled as well of course. I never even thought that subscriptions were such a big temptation for me, but they were making it very convenient to keep binging, maybe there's something like that for you too.

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Game Detox Days 69-78/90 | Vids Detox Day 0

Hey guys, sorry for disappearing.

I haven't been super-relapsed. Just really busy and I kinda fell off my habit of posting here.

I'm struggling a bit with my new schedule. My wife and I go downtown 5 days a week for her classes at a center there. I stick around, but the whole transit time + hanging out with people there + being tired when coming home has taken a severe toll on my productivity. I'm really behind on my work, let alone anything else I want to do like my studies or working on my business.

The other problem has been videos. I'm still watching a bunch - not full relapse style, but enough to waste a lot of time. @JustTom, I think I'll take your advice and will unsubscribe from all my subscriptions (not that many anyway), remove all my browsing/search history, and stop supporting channels on Patreon (they haven't been producing content I enjoy for a long while anyway).

Another big video problem is the World Cup. Been watching more than I planned of that... but honestly, it's once every 4 years and it's so much fun and it'll over soon enough. I don't watch every game or anything like that, but there are enough interesting matches to take a chunk out of my work time.

I'm going to re-dedicate myself (yet again) to no vids, except World Cup matches that are interesting + highlights. That's it. Starting a counter up top to make it more official.

Also sorry to y'all for not keeping up with your journals. Will do my best to start checking in again.

On the plus side, less than 2 weeks away from my 90 day gaming detox goal!

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