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NEW PODCAST: 3 Months of Solo Travel - Did It Change My Life? (spoilers, yes)

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PureDiscipline

PureDiscipline's Journal :D

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Day 21- 21 days game free & 0 days weed free

Been a bit since i posted last but i have been super busy :D, been hanging out with friends across a variety of activities and focusing purely on self improvement and work.

I started a herb garden, and am learning more about the type of bonsai tree cutting id need in order to go ahead and start that hobby.

In two days a few friends and I are flying down to Queens town NZ for a trip around sight seeing and snowboarding so I'll be sure to take a couple pics ^_^
While iv lived in New Zealand most of my life funnily enough iv never gone ahead and actually explored it. So as far as holidays go im going to make my own country #1 on the list for traveling until iv fully explored all the little places hidden about.

Atm its the coldest our country has ever been and its throwing things out of whack. I don't want to wake up on time to do what i have in the day because its too cold outside of the bed & sucks to be awake at that hour. So it should be interesting traveling way further south where the temperature is in the negatives.

While there's a tonne of activities like sky diving and bungee jumping i have a feeling it will be too cold for this trip and will have to put that on the to do list for when its a little less chilly.

Gaming wise iv had my final skins off cs go sell so i can block the websites afterwards. Out of either pure laziness, being busy, or procrastination i have yet to sell my gaming consoles. Which i know should be dealt with immediately, although them being there hasn't given me the urge to return to gaming although its only been 21 days and I could definitely fall back into habit if i did decide to pick it up.

Update in a few more days :D peace

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Day 21- 21 days game free & 0 days weed free

?Nice to have you back here. Have a great time on your trip. A big change for me happened when I started to explore my city and the world around me as if I was a traveller instead of a "local." There is so much around you that's incredible if you have the right perspective to explore.

I know it's cold in NZ so maybe check out some of those hot springs you guys have. ;)

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Day 23 - 23 days game free 2 weed free

Hi guys :D arrived in Queenstown nz today (beautiful sights) with 2 friends. Tomorrow i hit the slopes for a week of straight snowboarding, studying and working in the evenings. But also stumbled across a rather interesting documentary Vice did on the Ice Man. Found out he has a video package, and even though it might potentially be wrong its definitely got me curious. Since im currently in a place full of snow and a lake 1 minute walk from my room i figured it would be interesting to buy this at some point and start looking into it.

The guy can regulate his core body temperature under very cold conditions for long durations, as well as the fact that he climbed mt Everest in his Shorts and his students also show a lot of ability like he has. Crazy!

Pics to come tomorrow :D

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Day 26 - 26 days game free 5 weed free

Hi guys ^_^ Queenstown is freaken awesome! Although it is very chilly to the point that walking through town makes my eyes so cold i can barely keep them open. (i heard -8 degrees).

A few friends and i hit the slopes on day 1 after a rather pricey purchase of gear, and spent the day snowboarding down the beginner level slopes owning myself every step of the way (great fun!). The bus ride up the mountain was semi reminding me of death road since the drop was just straight down for a good long distance. And the bus was less then a meter away from the edge (with a railing between). On the way back some car had an accident with a bus and the mountain was held up for ages. After getting back the town was snowing and looked like something out of a harry potter scene with the lamp posts.

Next day i developed a cold so i spent the day inside just recovering and working. Unfortunately the pics i thought i could post are stuck on my phone until i get the right cord.

I got another 4 days here and in that time am planning on going snowboarding at least another 2 times and hopefully hit a higher slope. And if i can build the nerve, il try dip in the lake before sprinting back to warmth.

I watched a doco called don't look down about urban climbers such as Mustang wanted and their endeavors. Palms were sweating the whole time.

:D peace

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Day 31- 31 days game free - 11 days weed free

Hi guys :D returned from an awesome time down in Queenstown. Overall was a very pricey trip, id like to learn in future how to travel on the cheap and go more places instead. Break was just what i needed to clear my mind and feel rejuvenated to get back to work and everyday life. It was the first non-working holiday in a couple years, although i did take a day off while there to work (what can i say, i love my job).

There is a bunch of pics but the upload files function on this forum might be a tiny bit buggy atm cause all the uploads failed with the message (-200) afterwards.

I read up again on how to win friends and influence people and was reminded about how i should be treating people. I cannot stress how great that book is, it made me feel like id been doing socializing wrong my entire life and opened my eyes to a better way of living through compassion and appreciation. And how appreciating others in return really enriches your own life not only through your actions but through return actions of others. People like people who make them feel good/happy.

Also finally got a copy of The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Nanh who is a Buddist Monk and teacher & Nobel peace prize nominee. After reading about monks and watching any content i could find on them its apparent that their lifestyle seems to promote high levels of happyness so whatever i can learn from them i would love to integrate into my life. Specially comming from a very capitalistic mindset and job line its nice to see how the other end of the spectrum does things.

Upcomming plans will be to go on a fishing trip with a friend for a weekend, and start coding and rock climbing again while killing it at the poker tables :D

I finally cracked the 1 month mark for video games! Admittedly it has been easier then id imagined and i think this is probably my record for non-gaming. The lifestyle changes i administered on the whole have made me a lot happier and i don't feel like returning there unless i get the odd glimpse of Time splitters or Kingdom hearts 3. Since i know they are my strongest chances of being triggered im making every effort to stay away from those.

I still haven't gotten rid of the consoles or steam account which i need to. But i don't really know what to do with the steam accounts either. I don't feel right giving the steam account away to anybody i know because i feel it might ruin their life in ways it ruined mine and i would feel guilt about that. But i also don't really think there's much value in selling it.

I know holding onto it means the relapse chances are higher and also that it will always keep it in the back of my mind to an extent. Even though the options are limited and logical for some reason i find no motivation towards taking a step in either direction.

Anyway i'll leave with some quotes iv recently stuck on my wall


Shall I tell you the secret of the true scholar?
It is this : Every man I meet is my master
in some point, and in that I learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear. -Gautama Buddha

It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently. - Warren Buffett

There is no path to happiness: Happiness is the path .- Gautama Buddha

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Think the forum upload has a limit. Can you upload it to another place? Dropbox or something similar?

Loving the whole update, highlight of my night. Proud of you dude :)

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Day 35 - 35 days game free 15 days weed free

I forgot how unproductive i was when i was gaming its crazy! What i get done now compared to what i used to get done is a world apart.

(here are the queenstown pics i took of the scenery)

https://www.dropbox.com/sc/j3z6ybab5l435qd/AADojmFuAc9qmmhSYSsP6luja

:D Atm im burning through how to win friends and influence people and i've returned work wise to playing some of the higher stakes stuff that i used to play but randomly dropped for a while. Its fun but swingy financially speaking and requires more dedication to the game so ive been pouring all available hours into doing the standard daily routine & study followed by working pretty much all day till i fall asleep.

Meditation coupled in with that has given me an appreciation for life in ways i never could have considered. I now enjoy the daily grind even if its repetitive. I don't follow the highs and lows life brings with emotions tied in so strongly, and i am learning to accept gradually that everything will at some point come to an end. So if i can come to terms with that i won't feel like a previous high point in my life is what i need to get back to in order to be happy, but more that i can enjoy the general journey day to day regardless of how it pans out.

Watched a documentary from Vice about Synthetic weed which was pretty scary and eye opening. Specially because the stuff was legal in NZ for a while and i recall seeing it in shops.

Documentary Here

Last night i went out with 2 friends to dinner, and the main conversation topic ended up being Dota 2. It was funny because even after all the talk about the game, i wasn't even remotely interested in it. Although to be honest those sort of games never appealed because i always saw people being horribly angry and stressed while playing. Much like poker it seems that when you win your not that happy, but when you lose its one of those games where you pretty quickly see what type of people your colleagues are. They either blame each other or complain about how the game panned out. It seems to be a real collection of negative energy at least from my experiences.

Tomorrow i am heading off to go rock climbing with a few friends, at the moment im trying to implement everything i can from how to win friends. Specifically the argumentative stuff because i find myself in general being a person who loved debating. And while that might be on some level fulfilling to know i can win an argument, at the end of the day it doesn't make anybody happier. And challenging peoples opinions is often taken as an attack on their intelligence or character. The book showed awesome ways to disarm people so that going into situations that do need to be talked about (like something relative in every day life) means that the outcome can actually have a positive effect without the hurt feelings and resentment people tend to hold with it.

Reading about other peoples struggles in the forums it seems that i have been pretty fortunate with how busy my life is to keep me away from being interested in gaming

(much to my surprise :O)

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I need to come to NZ, looks gorgeous! Being busy definitely helps a ton and I know it was a major reason why quitting wasn't as difficult for me both times I made the decision to stop cold turkey. I was never home so I had no desire to play!

Hope you have fun rock climbing. :D

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I need to come to NZ, looks gorgeous! Being busy definitely helps a ton and I know it was a major reason why quitting wasn't as difficult for me both times I made the decision to stop cold turkey. I was never home so I had no desire to play!

Hope you have fun rock climbing. :D

?^_^ If you do start at queenstown! Auckland the main city really has nothing special or interesting about it. Its just another generic city, and i wouldn't recommend comming here (as most of my Australian friends say when they come over, there really isn't much to do here or of interest). Rotorua is a decent experience & theres lots of lovely nature throughout the country.

Im home almost constantly ^_^ and in front of PC. And my parents refuse me to sell my ps4 cause they use it for Netflix which they sometimes ask me to operate because they don't always know how to. Although being in this environment has still not really had much of an effect. Although i know you relapsed after a very long time Cam, so i don't ever want to become comfortable with the idea that iv beaten some form of addiction, but should more consider it a 'practice' every day by not doing it.

Day 36 - 36 days game free 16 days weed free

Rock climbing was fun but i realized there's a bit of a mental game involved. I suck with heights still and find myself being nervous making the risky movements the higher i get even though i shouldn't be worried if i trust my climbing partner. However i have a friend who repetitively in the past didn't pay much attention to the slack, and found it amusing to drop me on the way down fast then slow to get a reaction out of me. So i think iv developed a bit of a distrust of the climb involved. Through proper evaluation and logical break down of my reasoning on the fear and proper exposure to the experience again im sure that will pass though.

I have my sisters 21st birthday party tomorrow & a lot of work to get done. Peace!

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Totally. And the thing you want to see is that this is an opportunity for you to explore and break through these kind of blocks you might have. I believe the way you do something is the way you do everything, so if you have this type of fear directed in this way, where else is it influencing you in your life? Very likely there are many other places, so learning how to play with it in rock climbing will help you push past it in other areas as well.

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Can you buy an Apple TV, Fire TV, or Roku and then sell the PS4 to offset the cost? My entertainment center used to have all the gaming systems I had, but these days it's just a Fire TV and a blu ray player. My wife, mother in law, and I use the Fire TV for Netflix, Hulu, and Prime Video and it works great. You can download android games to Fire TV so I would avoid it if that would be a problem for you. Thankfully, I'm never tempted to download them.

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Can you buy an Apple TV, Fire TV, or Roku and then sell the PS4 to offset the cost? My entertainment center used to have all the gaming systems I had, but these days it's just a Fire TV and a blu ray player. My wife, mother in law, and I use the Fire TV for Netflix, Hulu, and Prime Video and it works great. You can download android games to Fire TV so I would avoid it if that would be a problem for you. Thankfully, I'm never tempted to download them.

?Good idea :D but if i sell the ps4 i wanted the money lol, they've taken it hostage

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Day 38 - 38 days game free 18 days weed free

Yesterday my sisters 21st bday went down, plenty of fun, speeches and socializing. I had a beer for the first time in 6 or 7 months and got reminded why i don't drink (that dehydrated unhealthy feeling kicked in). But the interesting part happened when i went to sleep.

I had a dream about playing a video game and woke up (im being serious) in a cold sweat. Like it was a nightmare or something, i freaked out for the good part of 10 minutes in my morning haze while i came to the realization that i hadn't actually played any video games. I never quite thought id ever get that reaction lol

After which i talked to a good friend in the poker scene and i have decided to make the move to Australia earlier then expected. Instead of moving over at the end of the year like i had planned, im gonna fly over in the next week or so and stay at a friends house till we get a more permanent setting. I can't say i ever pictured myself moving away from home this early which is quite exciting.
Something that i think about time to time is when games eventually progress to the stage of being in the stage of playing a game using a headset that creates the game in whatever environment you choose to put it in. Does it now become a viable option to treat it as a form of fun exercise? Or would that be dancing with the devil and potentially lead back to the same problem experienced before.

I know having a justification in my head that makes something okay means that i could fall into a series of problems, so i feel im going to have to emphasize the cons to myself on that technology when its released and focus on the pros of doing things away from it.

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I know the feeling of wanting to have a bit of video games in your life. I loved the Kinect Sports for xbox 360. I had a blast jumping around in the living room with it and using it to get my heart rate up and break a sweat. The sad thing is that I know I can't handle having that machine in my house. If they made a machine that only had those kinds of games with no other capabilities at all, I would possibly consider it. It would just be a fancier version of a workout video, I think. I would immediately dump it at the first sign of ignoring anything I consider important.

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Day 43 - 43 days game free 1 days weed free

Iv been preparing for the move for a while now, i have most of my bags packed and have gone around and seen most of my friends.

I did break my non-smoke streak and in the process learned a bunch about social manipulation and behavior and positioning during the high which was interesting. Essentially i was more able to break down my past events and see how i got to the point i did, as well as get a better perspective on my personality and try understand why i seem to take a niche position in groups. During the moving preparation period as expected i ran through an array of emotions towards the idea of leaving behind everybody i know in search of new endeavors. And as to be expected had everything from sadness to excitement to worry and anger. Thanks to meditation instead of just being moody i was better able to identify the emotions and just label them and identify that i am experiencing them as well as figure out why im experiencing that emotion, address the issue and move on from it. Im now feeling a lot more comfortable with the whole move and am rather excited.

I learned more about the addiction problem and process too. I noticed that during the array of emotions i was more inclined to go back to all old habits from weed to biting nails to everything id quit (i didn't break the ones that were most important to me). But in the process i felt how stress used to be a trigger towards gaming and understandably so. But that i have sort of moved past that, and out of all the addictions in my life it would be the last one id fall back on to if i was to at all.

I read a booklet about general addictions and one phrase stuck out for me "Drugs are only for those who can't handle reality". Which could also be reworded and remembered as a tool to avoid gaming. So im strengthening precautions on weed and if i can't control it on a once monthly usage basis then i plan on dropping it all together and never touching it again.

Its another 5 days till i make the move and in that time i am expecting any general feeling i currently have to intensify a little bit at times. So im upping the meditation and reconfirming regularly the reasoning's and pros to moving so i feel less worried about it.

I saw an interesting documentary about Methamphetamine in a drug called 'Yaba' in Thailand which was interesting. Specially since the price of the drug there is only $5-6 usd.

Thai Meth Epidemic and Vomit Rehab

Seems the more the world gains an understanding about addictions in general and how science devellops on the subject, that everything would be one step closer to being a happier safer environment.

While in Australia i plan on making as many beneficial life changes as i can and developing as much self sufficiency, confidence and distance from negativity as possible. My only wish is that i had booked the plane tickets sooner :D

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Stoked for your move man! It's definitely a time when emotions will increase, both on the positive side of the spectrum and the negative side, but it's a good way to focus and have breakthroughs in your ability to take care of business. :)

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Day 51 - 59 days game free 16 days weed free

Sydney is awesome! In the last week iv had a thorough walk around the neighborhood and set up. Every day has more or less just been wake up, work, watch an ep of orange is the new black & then read till sleep.

The place im staying had an upkept garden on the roof that iv started working on as a side project which is cool since i never really learned any of that stuff.

Also finished How to win friends & influence people finally (5 stars) & am currently reading through a pretty bosslike book about meditation called The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh. The pages have gotten so deep that iv had to re-read chapters to understand the concepts going on but its making me see the practicality of meditation on a whole new level which is awesome :D

When i get some time i plan on going down to the Judo gym & rock climbing gym. I plan on starting Judo as a new form of exercise and gain some skills and friends while im at it.

Seems competitive and fun which is what im hoping for, and anything i can sink my competitive teeth into seems a lot better then just lifting weights (never personally enjoyed it).

Im gradually growing a lot more comfortable with healthy eating and plan on trying out the whole 'vegan' thing just for curiosity sake and a change of pace.

Gaming front wise I've not had any urges or interest in any of it. I feel reasonably comfortable that im not going to have anymore future issues :) so i guess the rest of these journal entries won't so much be about any struggles but more improvements, new interests and what not.

Pics below!


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