FreetheG 21 Posted September 6, 2017 Share Posted September 6, 2017 A synopsis of my addiction,I'm in day two of my detox, but I figured I should embrace everything this site and community has to offer. My introduction covered a bit of my addiction, but I want a full log of the history with my addiction. I have used TV, online videos, and games to escape from my reality and the stresses of life and began developing my addictive behavioral patterns since I was about 8 years old.I didn't realize I had a problem until my sophomore year of COLLEGE. Before I recognized my gaming/video addiction, I had to peel back layers of other addictions. I started smoking cannabis when I was 18 and I added tobacco to that when I smoked. In my sophomore year, I joined a group on campus for substance abuse and I focused on my cannabis and tobacco use. As I began sobering up from smoking, I thought getting high every day was influencing how much I played games and watched videos. It did, but only by clouding my judgement and making me feel more OK with sitting and watching videos and playing games. When I was able to finally clear myself of the influence of cannabis and tobacco I realized that my core addiction was videos and games, and I began the journey of analyzing myself and my life. *disclaimer: I am not against cannabis, but how I react to it can exacerbate my game/video addiction and makes it more difficult for me to stop once I started. I stayed with the group even though I was in control of my substance abuse problem, and used it as a platform to talk about my game/video addiction. It was difficult though, because I felt like my process of addiction was different to that of substance abuse. I thought I could limit my addiction and only watching/playing a few hours a day, but I always had difficulty stopping once I started.My Junior year was a productive year in terms of understanding myself and my addiction. I joined a Mindfulness class and after completing the course I felt so at peace and without any desire to watch videos or play games. Unfortunately keeping up with the mindfulness practice was more difficult than I anticipated and I relapsed a few weeks later. Continuing to work on myself and freeing myself from my addiction I learned that there were behaviors that gave me a leg to stand on when fighting my addiction.WHAT WORKS: Exercise (running, yoga, basketball), get enough sleep (and don't look at a screen before bed even for emails or work), eating healthy (plant-based diet with fresh fruits/veggies), drinking water, meditation/mindfulness, journaling, staying connected with friends that have a positive influence on my life, go outside, be grateful, be honest and forgiving with myself (doesn't mean addictive behavior is OK), take breaks while working to relax even if its just for a minute or two.WHAT DOESN'T WORK: Isolating yourself, being self deprecating. BUT, knowing what works doesn't mean that you're automatically sober, there is still a fight to win.My longest legitimate sobriety was over 2 months (without any cheats), and I have been in a cycle of sobriety and relapse for almost 2 years. I have talked with psychologists and counselors without having a breakthrough like I did when I made it 2 months. I know that I made it that far because I was doing WHAT WORKS, and being ever-vigilant when it came to being close to a computer,TV, or phone screen. I feel like I eventually felt worn down and just had one bad day, it can be as simple as that. I didn't have a support group that understands what I'm going through like Game Quitters to turn to, so I feel hopeful about this 90 day detox challenge. This is it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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