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GeorgeA

[27 Jul - 27 Sep] 90 Days of Me

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Hello, Gamequitters' world!

So I'll a tell my story in the introduction section so that you can read it here: From George with Love

In short I've been gaming on and off for more than 10 years now, and, you know, there were times where I didn't play for like 2, may be 3, months, but in the end I always came back to it. So I've finally decided to change something in my pattern of how I approach relapses and try a different approach. I'm considering buying the respawn pdf but for now I'm just taking on the 90 days detox challenge. I really like the way it is put - you don't have to quit games forever, but if you can't quit just for 90 days, you really should. This Cam's thought from the home page was amazing.

I also participate in NoFap, I'm not going to make a big deal about it here but just so you guys know. May be even find some fellow fapstronauts, who knows? I'm also doing just a 90 days detox, we'll see how it goes from there.

I really just want to invest the time and energy I have into myself and I see this as an opportunity to do it as effeciently as possible.

The rules are simple = for 90 days:

1. Avoid playing games.

2. Avoid watching or reading on how other people play (including videos/streams).

3. Post here daily, indicating the day I'm on and commenting on my state and progress.

Edited by GeorgeA

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Day 1 (7-27-17)

I might not have time to respond later. It's been a good day overall. I had wierd "gaming" dreams today.Created another happy birthday video for a friend in theatre. Turned out her birthday is only next month, but oh well we all had good time making and watching it anyway.

My friend bought a car today. I got to be the first passenger. Awesome.

I'm going for a excursion in a jewish museum today with a group of theatre colleagues as we are getting prepared for a new production with a jewish theme which I mentioned often in my previous posts.

Also I have a big talk today with the head of the theatre about me and my theatre friend A. going for studying in one of Moscow's theatre Universities. It's a two-year program that will require some of my time there and it will probably affect my theatre participation so I have to discuss this. It's uncomfortable but it's needed to be done. In fact I'm not even sure yet if my schedule will let me participate in the studies, but you've got to start somewhere. I'm going to do some planning after the excursion and before the meeting.

Also just so you know I've been going to the gym for about 1,5 months now, and it's awesome. Only thing that makes me feel bad is that I don't eat as healthy yet and I often am late for the workouts. Otherwise it's all good and I like it.

Mett and Cam, thanks for the support guys!


Also my flat is a huge huge mess and I can't make myself start cleaning it. Just saying for now.
Peace

Edited by GeorgeA

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Break the cleaning up into small jobs. I subdivide it by room and then by "tables, floors, etc." for each room. Then just do one job a day. You can put this on a schedule too for maintenance. Then cleaning doesn't seem so overwhelming.

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Day 2 (7-28-17)

I've started cleaning up. Thanks @Mettermrck for the good advice on this one. I will implement it partially, since I have limited time before I leave for a small vacation trip next week.

No gaming dreams today and thanks @Cam for the video, I now have watched the video and it's defently good to know that people experience this kind of stuff as a sign of withdrawal from heavy gaming. Gratitude is awesome so I thank you!

My regime is a bit cracked up - I get up late, like 11:30 today. I also don't have any morning routine going for me, or more specifically my morning routine consists of - log on into social media, respond to messages, watch some news, wash face and brush teeth and that's it. I can't really call this a healthy routine but I'm taking it one step at a time, I'm just getting back to the level where I used to be, right now getting up at 11:30 and starting to clean my apartment is a huge step forward along with the detox. So I'm pretty confident I'll get to the morning routines too but in proper time and in my own fashion.

Today I have a gym workout, a haircut and a meeting with an old friend of mine who I haven't seen in really  a while. I am a bit anxious that I have a meeting with her since last time it didn't go so well and there's also has been this wierd romantic tension between us that I've never broken because I know she's married and her husband is kind of my good acquintance so (we all have known each other form school). Anyways, I'm just letting it sit here because I would like to mainly focus on having a good time with a person who knows me well and we'll just see how it goes from there. The aim of the meet up for me is to restore our friendship so to say because last time we met it didn't really go well, I was really not in the best stage of my life to have a meeting with her.

Also yesterday I had the talk with the theatre head and it all went mostly as me and my theatre friend A. expected, but in overall it went well. Next step is to talk to my stepfather about payment for the education because he said he could help me out with that. This is going to happen next week when I'm off to St.-Petersburg where he lives so I'll have at least one important thing to accomplish while I'm there on my vacation.

I'm having a photoshoot tomorrow and I'm not yet ready for it, getting a haircut is first step, and next is getting some clothes ready and I absolutely need to wash some of them today but I think I might not have time. But it is happening.

Peace

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The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod is a great book I highly recommend to setup a morning routine. TBH it's one of the most important building blocks for a sustainable healthy and productive lifestyle. In the next update to the Respawn program, establishing a morning routine (with the help of The Miracle Morning) will be an essential step.

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Day 3 (7-29-17)

All is good. This is probably going to be a short report - I have little time before the photoshoot and I feel like it's easier for me to report in the first half of the day, because I often get home late.

The meeting with the friend went well! I had an awesome haircut and indeed it feels like having a fresh start, especially because it is summer now and I don't have any theatre which meant that I could go for a more aggresive style, and I did. I like it so far.

I tried to call A. to come over to my place today before I go to SPb but she said she was not sure if she could make it. It's been wierd with her but if it doesn't work out I'm ok with going on on my own since it helps focus more on my own life and the detox process.

@Cam Adair thanks for the reccomendation, I've been looking at this book for a while and I will grab it somewhere around this month I think. I'm currently reading books that are required for the trials to the theatre University but I think I'll need a rest somewhere in between the titles. As for the morning routine itself I remember how much it helped me lead a better lifestyle but I want to come to it in my own time when I can take a conscious decision that I want it in my life and am ready to that. It is quite a committment. Thanks for the tip!

That's it, have a nice day folks!

Peacez

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Day 4 (7-30-17)
 
Super tired for two days straight because I've been having a lot of walks around the centre of the city and the workouts have been really making me exhausted.
 
I'm back at home today after two huge days and I need to start cleaning the flat so that's what I am about to do for the night. I'm doing my best to stay focused on getting myself busy or emerged into social life so that my struggles with personal life don't bother me as much.
 
@Mettermrck thank you for the support as always. Always nice to hear some feedback on what's going on in my life, even if short!
 
That's it! Have a great day guys!
 
Peace
Edited by GeorgeA

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Day 5 (7-31-17)

I'm a bit late on the report. Erm, all good, I spent most of the day creating a birthday video for my dad, than I went to the gym and watched "All Eyez on Me" in a movie theatre. I've been doing really bad job at completing things that need to be completed, namely, cleaning, buying new clothes, repairing my rucksack, getting ready for the upcoming trip. But at least I do not give in into gaming as I just can clearly see how it will hinder the whole process that is currently happening and that is for the good.

Mett and Tom - thanks! I'm doing my best to stay active.

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Hey guys!

I quit completely on 5th September, hard-deleting all my progression in a game I was playing extensively (on and off) since about May this year. I figured out that this decision is more about lifestyle I want to lead and in a world where I'm not a gamer those "achievements" won't matter anyway.

I still binge watch gaming videos though and I am working on solving that. I've started a little experiment for myself (of which I am looking forward to telling you later), but connected to this particular area of my life I'll share here that starting Wendsday I am not watching any gaming related videos ever, not reading any forums/article on the topic either (apart from gamequitters). I'm thinking what set of rules to implement in order to stick with the decision, for now I've cleared my watch history, I am posting here and I'm thinking of setting up a reminder on my desktop/chrome starting page.

In short, I want to learn to make decisions and stick with them, even if slowly.

I should also update the name of the journal since I've failed the committment, but that's only a step on the path of rising to my better self.

Cheers

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I feel a lot of inertia and I constantly procrastinate on important stuff for myself. Exams are on Sunday but I have not started properly getting ready for them (just here and there from time to time).            
       
Yet I do stuff that's connected with other people - like playing in theatre or helping a friend repair something at home, but this all seems not so relevant in the view of the upcoming exams.
                   
I am also trying a thing for myself that I called "Decisions Maraphon" where I take up a new decision-commitment every other Wensday and Saturday. The idea behind it is to a) change my life and patterns gradually; b) learn to take decisions and stick to them.

However I've found out that it's much easier to stick with a decision for the first 3-4 days, and after that I start desiring to go back to previous life-style more and more daily.
LIke my first decision was to establish the following pattern if and when I come home back alone after 11PM: (eat)-shower-sleep.

For this cause I also established that:
1) I am not using my PC at night after 11PM;
2) I solve all stuff connected with my phone before getting back home (even if it means sitting outside for a few mins);
3) As soon as I enter home I put my phone on charge, set the alarm clock and go on my business. (This has been relatively new and hard)

Anyway, it's been hard keeping up even with this commitment, I broke 1 or more rules during the last 2 nights. Sticking with commitment is hard for some reason :S

Anyway, I'm going on with this maraphon. The second decision is not to watch or read any gaming-related material ever. So for it's been really nice.

Sending much love to you brother. Keep it up. You have an incredible amount of talent to share with the world. It's far superior than anything gaming could ever provide.

Thank you, Cam! You are so right, thank you for reminding me of that.

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I've been "sober" since September, 5 which makes today Day 17. Pretty nice!

Two best decisions that helped me stay through this are:

1) hard-deleting all progress in-game (and don't worry about any sunk coasts, just move on to a different life);
2) avoiding any material that is connected with gaming. I even had videos of a favorite youtube channel closed because the host would start discussing games. It's a bit radical but it really helps.

I'll be honest though I still have troubles with discipline and self-management at home and also still struggle with my NoFap comittment, so posting here is a way of cheering myself up saying that I am not doing that bad! But  I need to be much much stronger, and I still feel weak.

Edited by GeorgeA

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Hey @GeorgeA, you've made some really good progress, don't sell it short! Maybe your NoFap doesn't work out some days, but I'm confident focusing on replacing gaming with meaningful activities will help with that. You've already made it to day 17! That's 4 times as far as you noticed it was easy to stick with a decision. I think that's incredible! Imagine if you multiplied it by 4 again, then again! Keep it up!

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Day 24, thanks for the support everyone. Just got back from a trip to Belarus with my theatre, a lot of work is ahead. My flat is a mess, but I was reminded recently that home should be a sanctuary that you trust, where you rest and gain strength. I want this to be true in my life.

Feeling wierd because I am tired as hell but I believe that I can improve and be better at organising my life.

Edited by GeorgeA

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My flat is a mess, but I was reminded recently that home should be a sanctuary that you trust, where you rest and gain strength. I want this to be true in my life.

Absolute truth mate. The best way to keep things in order is to clean up in the moment the small messes you make from daily use (instead of just getting by until you have a big task of cleaning in your hands). The times I did like this I could clearly see the difference. The house is nothing but a reflection of what's inside, same as the state of your body or the friends you keep. Clean outside makes better inside!

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Thank you friend, it is true. I think the state of my body also represents the mess that is inside of me at the moment. However, I will improve my body and I will start cleaning my flat. I am starting with making my bed daily! A good video to watch on this topic:

Inspiring: Change the World by Making Your Bed - by Admiral William McRaven

Day 25 meanwhile, whoohoo! My life has got better w/o gaming just because now I got more time to do stuff that actually matters for me and has a positive impact on my life or relationships with other people.

Edited by GeorgeA

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Day 28. The milestone is just around the corner!

I want to deal with my phone and internet addiction. It's become apparent that I have one. I constantly run to it when I am on my own.

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Yesterday marked the 30 day milestone. Amazing!

Thank you all guys for the support. I realize I couldn't have done without such amazing people who are all-in for self-improvemrnt around me.

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