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Mindful in Montreal


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Howdy everybody,


So this is my first daily post. I’ve not played video games in 30 days (minus one time at a friend’s house) and I know the reason I’ve joined here today is that I’ve got this far before and relapsed. I first stopped after I did a form of meditation called Vipassana, it’s 10 days long in silence with no external stimuli. Just sitting, eating, walking and meditating. It’s by  far the hardest thing I’ve done and was extremely rewarding. After my first course of this I didn’t play video games for about 6 weeks and then relapsed after a tense atmosphere with my current housemates. It soon spiraled from there and I’m sure you all know where that leads.

This time last month I started my second course with the distinct aim of using it to help me quit video games. I had the mentality ‘if I can do this I can do anything, especially quit video games.’ So far, so good. I’m on the verge of starting a new business, finding new hobbies and a true purpose in life. On the other hand I find myself watching more TV and movies than I have done before – So I know I still have a long way to go. That’s why I’m here saying hello to you lovely guys and girls. So hey! I’m excited to be here :-)


Much love,


3 things I’m grateful for:

·         Opportunities to grow and develop to become who I believe I can be.

·         The light dusting of snow we had this morning

·         A supporting family ^_^


Edited by magicalmerlinmark
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Thanks for the hello ^_^ It's nice to see some friendly people here. I've spent the day with my family so it's been pretty easy going today. 

Things I'm grateful for:

1) Food on the table (and in my belly)

2) A healthy and loving family

3) The fact that I was able to perform a deep squat yesterday (as part of a new fitness plan) which was something I previously thought un-achievable! 

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Thanks everybody ^_^ 

I'm feeling pretty hungover today - I'm still struggling with dopamine short circuits. I'm attempting to give up porn too which is whole other task in itself. Time to unplug ^_^

3 things I'm grateful for:

1) Being patient with myself.
2) The chance to have deep meaningful conversations with friends and family.
3) The time I'll spend planning what I'm going to grow at a friend's organic farm. This is a big part of the 'new' me 

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I've started keeping a dream journal recently and it's so very interesting to see common patterns that arise. It's a pretty simple concept: Record what the dream was and what emotions were prevalent every morning when you wake up. I've noticed my dreams in the last few days are reflecting a lot of anxiety. I give workshops about herbal medicine for my passion. In my dreams there are always the wrong herbs, not enough seats etc. A general sense of being unprepared. 

Taking this deeper than the superficial level, I think my dreams are just reflecting the general anxiety of the human condition. Where am I going in life? What I am doing? Why am I doing this? Is it always this scary?

My previous behaviour would have been to worry about these dreams. Today I'm thankful for them, I welcome anxiety as a guest (but not as a permanent resident) and I'm able not to worry about worrying. Not to tie myself in knots. Just enjoy the wave.

1) I'm grateful for tools and experiences that allow to get a deeper understanding of who I am.

2) I'm grateful for some new medicinal herbs that arrived today - It's time to start a lung detox.

3) The beautiful back garden in my childhood home. 

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Today I'm grateful for...

1) The youth and playfulness of my 15 yr old dog.

2) The opportunity to see friends this evening.

3) The fact that I signed myself up to some volunteering at the local food back.


Today I'm going to achieve...

1) Searching for organic seeds for a medicinal herb garden

2) Donate my old train set to the local hobby club.

3) Start drawing my future reality.

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Today I'm hungover, threw up around 7am. I'm nearly fully recovered 5 hours later. Pretty miraculous for me as I've had some real bitches in the past. It's time for me to try and stop drinking for a while - I'll try till this time next week ^_^ 

Today I'm grateful for:

1) Facing my hangover.

2) The party I had that led to said hangover

3) Time I get to spend with family later ^_^

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I dropped two tabs of LSD yesterday and had an experience that was quite something. I didn't get a lot of sleep today but that's no problem. I had a dream I succumbed to my video gaming urges (first dream like this) and then in my dream I stopped myself - So I take this as a good sign! 

Today I'm grateful for:

1) A storm which is bringing amazing winds

2) The class I will be holding tonight on herbal medicine

3) My partner's coming to England for a month today  :D

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