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Daily journal: Banana edition


ananabanana
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DAY_0

Hey
I have already posted my story in the Introductions subforum. I don't know what else to write here, so I'll just link it: This is me.  
Tomorrow (February 1st) is day 1 of this journal and my 90 days detox. My immediate commitments: 
1. I commit to 90 days without games. Even though I want to quit gaming permanently. As hycniejsy said in the mentioned topic: "You need a solid fundament if you want to quit playing video games." 
2. I will keep a daily journal of my experiences and thoughts. I will be honest. I will post there at least once a day for the next 30 days and will keep the journal updated regularly thereafter. I will start my daily journal with the guidance of the Respawn guide. (I have purchased Respawn quite a while ago and followed it vaguely. Now I'll actually do the things it suggests, like posting my reasons to stop gaming on the forum. Especially so I actually think about the things I do and don't  do.)

I obviously don't want to mindlessly browse, but I don't really know how to make a commitment out of that. What is acceptable and what isn't, according to you? 
Below are the action steps of Respawn's first chapter. Am I doing this right?

REASONS I PLAYED GAMES
Video games gave me a false sense of purpose. They also gave me a way to incorrectly tell myself that I was actively doing something (with my life), while instead I was just passively feeding on entertainment (League of legends but also Youtube etc.) and the addictive nature of games (Cam's 4 reasons). Living passively in front of screens is what I've become accustomed to. 
REASONS I WANT TO QUIT
-  At the moment I am enrolled at a university for computer science. I want to study this successfully and get a bachelor's degree. 
-  My sleeping schedule is all over the place/day and very irregular. I want to be able to go to sleep in the evening and wake up in time for classes etc. I basically want to get a sleeping schedule
-  I want to increase my energy, my will power, and my self image in general. (To do this I must increase my sleeping habits, my eating habits, my workout/physical activity habits and make sure I actually have contact with human beings.) 
-  I want to take time to do things. Instead of going back to using the pc, I want to be able to just pick up that book I have started to read but have never touched again.
EMOTIONS I’M FEELING
Nothing. Okay, I am a bit scared. I'm scared of not being able to 'do life', if that makes sense. I'm scared of underperforming. I guess it is because of the those same reasons that I almost never studied or even tried for tests and exams until last week (exams are ongoing at the moment): because I didn't want to underperform. I don't want to fail (again). 
But I guess not wanting to fail is okay.


If you read this far, thank you for taking the time and thus adding something positive to my life <3

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If you like peanut butter and bananas; put some in porridge in the morning- that's what I always do. I think a good way to approach your new healthier sleeping habits is to have a morning and evening ritual.

Remember this is about more than just quitting games. This is about being the best version of yourself. So don't focus on not playing games; focus on doing what you need to do.

Also. If you want to expand yourself, a nice rule I make is to leave my comfort zone in one new way each day. Naturally you start small, but then your confidence grows and you start doing more and more crazy shit!

As for mindlessly browsing. A good strategy is to warp your bad habits into good ones. Before you begin browsing, have a set topic to research. If you stray from this topic go back.

Edited by Schwing
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@hycniejsy I don't really get the point of that. What does it add to the badge I have on the stopgaming subreddit and this journal? I already have a daily counter.

Besides, It doesn't even have an app for android, only for ios, which makes me sad!

Edited by ananabanana
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DAY_001

I've removed all my games and am in the process of terminating/selling the accounts. 

I believe I will 100 percent fail my next and last exam on friday, and thus have given up studying for it. 

On a positive note, I have been going to bed earlier: instead of sleeping from 12:00 to 18:00, last 'night' I slept from 4:30 to 13:00. This means I'm also sleeping longer, which is good i guess. I don't really know how I'll ever sleep 23:00-7:30 on a daily base.

Edited by ananabanana
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Sleep rhythms depend on daily activities. The average humans' day length is 25 hours, that's why it's constantly screwed over.

Here are some tips from me:

  • Try to catch the sun at 12:00 am, helps calibrate and stabilize the rhythm.
  • Late night lights screw it up.
  • Sports help stabilize
  • Don't use laptops or smartphones in your bed, only use your bed for sleeping
  • if you can't sleep, wake up for 15-20 minutes and do something relaxing - like reading outside of bed
  • 10 minutes of meditation before sleeping can help if "thoughts keep you awake", i recommend candlelight and a cool pillow
  • cold feet impair the ability to fall asleep. sitting all day leads to cold feet, so does anything that impairs blood circulation
  • a going-to-bed-ritual is good. as aforementioned meditation helps but also brushing teeth, putting on pajamas and simple shit like that
  • keep some water near bed
  • see to it that you have clean sheets, change them every 1-2 weeks so that it's comfy and not fucking nasty. same goes for clothing
  • don't go to bed with clothes on that you wore during the day, don't put shit on your bed - like rucksacks or other people sitting on it
  • I can wake up well with: totally stressful alarmclocks and radio news (radio news is pretty chill, you snooze about and get updated on shit, makes you feel sophisticated)
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Sleep rhythms depend on daily activities. The average humans' day length is 25 hours, that's why it's constantly screwed over.

Here are some tips from me:

  • Try to catch the sun at 12:00 am, helps calibrate and stabilize the rhythm.
  • Late night lights screw it up.
  • Sports help stabilize
  • Don't use laptops or smartphones in your bed, only use your bed for sleeping
  • if you can't sleep, wake up for 15-20 minutes and do something relaxing - like reading outside of bed
  • 10 minutes of meditation before sleeping can help if "thoughts keep you awake", i recommend candlelight and a cool pillow
  • cold feet impair the ability to fall asleep. sitting all day leads to cold feet, so does anything that impairs blood circulation
  • a going-to-bed-ritual is good. as aforementioned meditation helps but also brushing teeth, putting on pajamas and simple shit like that
  • keep some water near bed
  • see to it that you have clean sheets, change them every 1-2 weeks so that it's comfy and not fucking nasty. same goes for clothing
  • don't go to bed with clothes on that you wore during the day, don't put shit on your bed - like rucksacks or other people sitting on it
  • I can wake up well with: totally stressful alarmclocks and radio news (radio news is pretty chill, you snooze about and get updated on shit, makes you feel sophisticated)

I like your advice! I use a lot of them mysef :D

Something I also like to do to reset my sleep schedule is 'going cold turkey'. This means I just start to wake up at my desired time. This makes me really tired during the day and makes it easier to sleep at somewhat normal times. It's really hard, but it also just takes a couple of days to fix the biggest problems in the bad sleep schedule.

 

@ananabanana hi fellow Belgian. I think it's important to not get lost in the negativity of flunking all your exams right now. You probably should focus already on the next term. That being said I'm not here to tell you what you SHOULD do, it's up to you. I think the things you want are healthy. I think the things you do are really not. So you're definitely going in the right direction so it seems.

I actually think your problem is not just games, but also general internet addiction. Your problems seem to be pretty extreme, but they are definitely not hopeless. I use a program called 'Cold Turkey'. It has an option that locks you out of certain parts of the internet and even your pc at times you decide. It made my pc really boring between several time periods (which is a good thing). This has led me to stop using it most of the time between these hours. If you like the idea, check it out. I would advice the premium version, which cost a bit of money but nothing too expensive. It's just something I like, don't feel obliged to like it as well obviously.

Some habits that could help you with your willpower:

- Meditation

- Exercising 

Again, don't feel obliged to do it. If it speaks to you try it. If it doesn't, ignore it (for now).

I'm 27 btw. I already have my master degree, but in educational studies. If you have questions about studying or good/bad practices, feel free to reach out to me. If you're Flemish I could also 'help' you in dutch. 

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DAY_002

If you like peanut butter and bananas; put some in porridge in the morning- that's what I always do. I think a good way to approach your new healthier sleeping habits is to have a morning and evening ritual.

Remember this is about more than just quitting games. This is about being the best version of yourself. So don't focus on not playing games; focus on doing what you need to do.

Also. If you want to expand yourself, a nice rule I make is to leave my comfort zone in one new way each day. Naturally you start small, but then your confidence grows and you start doing more and more crazy shit!

As for mindlessly browsing. A good strategy is to warp your bad habits into good ones. Before you begin browsing, have a set topic to research. If you stray from this topic go back.

Thank you! I will try to apply that tactic when I'm mindlessly browsing. 

What I need to do is attending classes and putting effort in learning/studying the subjects. On the shorter term, and because I don't have access to the online course material and books for next semester, I'm thinking of reading books. I have not actually done it. I just found the problem, still thinking about it.

(Also, I really don't like porridge ;).)

@destoroyah  Thanks for the tips! I've already found a method to fall asleep (when I'm actually tired) that has been working consistently for the past few days: I just stop using my computer and smartphone and try to sleep. I don't know why I just wrote down something that obvious. 

I will set an alarm tomorrow at 09:00 and will go to sleep tomorrow at 23:00. That's the plan. 

Two problems: 1. I don't think I will have enough willpower to wake up. Can you link me to a stressful alarm? 2. The past few days I have always taken my phone after waking up and laid down on my bed undressed browsing whatever for a few hours. I don't feel like I will be able to not do that tomorrow. (I should probably find a place to go to at a certain time in the morning to force me out of my room. I don't know how to force myself out of my room in the morning. Cam suggested a fulltime day-job one year ago, but that isn't an option, as I want to study for a bachelor degree)

@UndRt0w I've found the cold turkey program quite recently. Cold turkey writer is the reason I was able to write my first posts on this forum. Otherwise I would probably have given up because the intellectual difficulty barrier was too high and gone back to browsing/watching/gaming.

 

In conclusion:

- I want to try meditation, if only to prove to myself that I can do something for a fixed amount of time on a daily base. I need to start today and do it for a few days. Do you recommend headspace?

- I am certain I want to change. 

- I need to start using a template from guidelines + templates. That wil help putting structure in my thoughts and self-image, which will help with processing my thoughts.

- I'll post a reply soon using a template after I've read my daily chapter of Respawn. (Actually that already proves I can do something daily, at least for 3 days.)

Edited by ananabanana
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@UndRt0w I'm fine with writing and reading in English, but if you want to say anything in dutch, go ahead! I am setting up cold turkey at the moment to block internet access entirely, apart from university stuff, beween 01.00 and 07:00.

edit: It took me about 10 minutes to get up and do something else after enabling frozen turkey, what basically blocks the entire pc.

Edited by ananabanana
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@destoroyah  Thanks for the tips! I've already found a method to fall asleep (when I'm actually tired) that has been working consistently for the past few days: I just stop using my computer and smartphone and try to sleep. I don't know why I just wrote down something that obvious. 

I will set an alarm tomorrow at 09:00 and will go to sleep tomorrow at 23:00. That's the plan. 

Two problems: 1. I don't think I will have enough willpower to wake up. Can you link me to a stressful alarm? 2. The past few days I have always taken my phone after waking up and laid down on my bed undressed browsing whatever for a few hours. I don't feel like I will be able to not do that tomorrow. (I should probably find a place to go to at a certain time in the morning to force me out of my room. I don't know how to force myself out of my room in the morning. Cam suggested a fulltime day-job one year ago, but that isn't an option, as I want to study for a bachelor degree)

 OK.

Link to a stressful alarm clock? Uh, I use some oldschool alarm clock, it's brandless. It adjusts the time by itself by radio, quite good, but it's like 10 years old, doubt you can buy it online. It goes *beep* ... *beep* ... *beep* and then *BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP*. I usually shut it off before it murders me!

Don't use your smartphone first thing in the morning. Shut it off, put it in a corner. Radio is a good substitute, it's chill you just have to listen. Look for a channel where they just talk about news and culture and shit.

If you can't work full-time, try part-time. I work like... dunno.. 8 hours a week, and sometimes 40 and then 0. I can coordinate it well with the uni. My job gives me some purpose and prevents me from "bathrobing" too many days in a row. It's like a kick every now and then, and I get some money for it. I'm a slave - but I work so little that I can take it. I make some valuable experiences there.

If you don't have a reason to leave your room find one. get a camera take some pictures, start jogging, go to a café, groceries, go to a park and read a book, chill in the sun... go train chasing, build something, draw something, make something. Vary it up, newspapers are good for finding out whats hip. Sure, you can do that online, but online is so specific, you tend to miss out on things that you don't think about.

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@UndRt0w I'm fine with writing and reading in English, but if you want to say anything in dutch, go ahead! I am setting up cold turkey at the moment to block internet access entirely, apart from university stuff, beween 01.00 and 07:00.

edit: It took me about 10 minutes to get up and do something else after enabling frozen turkey, what basically blocks the entire pc.

English is definitely fine. Had to learn most of my exams in English as well so I'm used to it.

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@hycniejsy I don't really get the point of that. What does it add to the badge I have on the stopgaming subreddit and this journal? I already have a daily counter.

Besides, It doesn't even have an app for android, only for ios, which makes me sad!

You got a point here. I've forgotten about subreddit badges! :)

 

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DAY_003 

Time I woke up: (17:30) 

Time I went to sleep yesterday:  (14:00) 

 

Physical task: /

Mental task: /

Projects: /

 

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ I was honest about my exams (I didn't even participate in 3 of the 5 exams) with my parents. I didn't lie about it. 

Summary of Day #:

Today I will write less in this journal. It's midnight and I'm tired because I couldn't sleep last night. I'm writing this quickly on my phone in bed. Ty @Dannigan for your template.

My last exam was today, but I didn't even do the exam. I didn't study enough. The biggest thing that kept me from studying was that I didn't even know what I had to study and how much I work it roughly would take. I had never properly taken a look at the subject. I knew absolutely nothing about it until 02:00 o'clock at night. The exam was at 14:00.

Next semester it is important that I go through the subject's table of contents etc to get a feel for how (much) I will have to study. 

 

What I am grateful for today:

~ went to see a performance together with my family

~ dinner with family

~ I'm actually going to sleep at a decent hour. 

~ having the will power to write this even though I want to sleep

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