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B1ggl3fty

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Hello Game Quitter Community!

I am a 24 year old male from Wisconsin, USA. I currently live in Dallas, TX with my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years. I just want to get this post on the forums, so I may not get the whole story out in just one post. 

I started gaming with one of my best childhood friends when he had a N64. I didn't even play most of the time, I would go over and watch him play. But it was social, and I liked it. We went on to play all sorts of games together, and another friend of mine joined in. We played basketball games, football games, halo, call of duty, warcraft II, III, and World of Warcraft. We were all also very active athletes, and great in school. I feel like gaming and staying up late really affected my sport of basketball, and even so I finish my career as team MVP, 1st team all conference, and scored 26 points in a game against the eventual state champs. Ever since then I feel I have been trying to recreate the social bond games gave me, unsuccessfully. Without boring everyone, it will suffice to say that games have become progressively more and more hurtful to my psyche. I wish I hadn't gamed at all. I will play games and keep playing even though I hate the game and its boring and I get extreme anxiety while playing. 

 

If i ever manage to stop, I will mindlessly browse youtube for hours on end, or even worse look at porn. I am addicted to screens, and its already taken so much from me. I know it affected my mood and self worth in high school, and I wanted to finish what i was doing to get back to gaming. What i really love is competing, and playing sports. I have applied to 2 physical therapy schools and am finish my 3rd application up. My life isnt in shambles, but I feel like I'm missing out on so much. 

I really want to stop, but it is extremely difficult when the TV, computer, and phone are all so easy to access. My girlfriend loves to play skyrim in her free time, and watch netflix. I get caught up even watching her game or watching hours of netflix. 

Anyways, I'm here to try. I welcome boredom. I have so much i want to do, and things i want to try. This isn't a matter of lack of alternatives, but breaking my addictive behavior patterns. 

 

Thank you

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Hey! Welcome to the community, it's awesome to have you here with us. I relate to you with the athlete thing, because growing up I was a very good hockey player and eventually gaming took up more and more of my time and I spent less time focusing on training and getting better. It's one of the regrets I have honestly. So since then I've been working hard to make up for it.

We're here to support you so let us know how we can help. If you haven't seen these videos, they will help:

How To Stop Mindlessly Browsing The Internet
Should You Watch Gaming Streams?

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Hey B1ggl3fty,

Welcome to the forum. I can really relate to your story, especially this: "My life isnt in shambles, but I feel like I'm missing out on so much."

I joined Gamequitters roughly 1.5 months ago and it has had an a significant positive impact on my life. I know it's hard but if you know you want to quit, you have to start by making a commitment. If you don't feel like you can quit forever right away, start with quitting for 90 days and seeing how you feel. I didn't think I could quit for good when I started, but now that I'm halfway through I know I'm not going to go back to games.

The mindless browsing, netflix/youtube binges, porn, and general screen addiction can all improve. It doesn't go away overnight, but slowly bit by bit. And it isn't done through willpower, but rather gradual changes in habit, environment, and mindset over time. I mean, yes, you have to put effort into it, but if done right there will come a time where it won't take effort anymore. At least that's been my experience.

Also if porn is an issue, I would encourage you to check out r/nofap or nofap.com or yourbrainonporn.com. They have helped me a lot, too.

Life gets better if you choose to follow a different path, you just have to have the courage to take the first step.

Good luck!

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Hi B1ggl3fty,

Likewise to kortheo, I too can relate to "My life isnt in shambles, but I feel like I'm missing out on so much." Gaming doesn't get in the way of much for me, but I know I still waste my time by playing video games and could be doing better things with my time.

Quitting something that has been ingrained into your habits for more than a decade will require quite a bit of time, but trying to go 90 days without games for a start would be a good thing to achieve. I relapsed a few days ago and has brought on a fresh wave of gaming nostalgia, so staying 100% game free for the 90 days is crucial if you want to rewire your brain to better enjoy 'normal' activities.

Although you say you only need to change habits, I insist that you find alternative activities to replace gaming because the lack of alternatives results in greater cravings for the instant satisfactions of gaming. I went for about 3 weeks without games before relapsing, the main issue being that I became incredibly bored and somewhat sad because I didn't put the effort in to try new activities to have fun. This quickly resulted in me running back to games with hope for happiness, little of which I got. So I highly recommend you look into alternative activities that will help you through this challenge.

Remember the wise words of Jedi master Yoda: "Do or do not. There is not try." I see your title says you will TRY. I have a twin brother that likes gaming heaps, so likewise by having a girlfriend that games you will need a strong resolve to quit games permanently, as you will see others having fun playing games regularly.

I hope my advice helps, I hope to see you make it through!

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Wow first of all, thank you all for responding to my post and for the support. I am pleasantly surprised at the thoughtfulness of your responses. Koretho, wookeishark88, and AlexTheGrape i appreciate your posts. I know about yourbrainonporn.com, and I like the website. I am handling some issues there that I may post about here later. I'm glad to hear that the drive fades, because it is honestly so difficult to start when the next day all i can think about is watching another trailer for fallout 4, or thinking of buying the witcher, or getting my computer fixed to play rocket league... 

 

It is a major boost to get your responses. Thanks for welcoming me into the community!

 

 

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Hey there B1ggl3fty! Welcome to the community.

Everyone else has shared most of what I would have already, and it's great advice! One thing that I think might help you is to get up each morning and watch some motivational videos every single day. Make it a habit. I understand you want to spend time away from the screen, but if you're going to be doing it anyways, you might as well make it productive! Watching motivational videos can give you that extra boost to help get you going on whatever it is you want to accomplish, and over time, if you stay consistent, being motivated simply becomes a part of you.

Check here for some really good ones I found: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/303-find-it-hard-to-get-motivated-every-day/

Most importantly, if this is something you really want for yourself, never give up on it! You might get knocked down a couple times, but as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward, success is inevitable.

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! - Rocky Balboa

 

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