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About B1ggl3fty

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  1. New goal. 30 days without youtube, reddit, porn, and alcohol. Have already gone 14 days or so without porn, but I'm not here just for numbers, im here for results so ill count it as a lump and see what happens. Also, I don't care if this journal is just me, it helps to be accountable to something. Day 116 without games by the way. Win.
  2. Day 98) GOAL! I made it to 90 days. I feel minimal urges to game. On to new goals!
  3. 3/31/18 Day 80) Still off of games, drinking less alcohol, and working hard on reducing media consumption/controlling it. Starting to get excited I'm finally making it.
  4. 3/11/18 Day 60) Games are still easy to stay off of. I'm doubling down starting now to stay off of porn and youtube, because it sucks up so much of my free time. Its not like I don't have other activities in place, I do. So its just about staying off that information stream.
  5. 1/25/18 Day 47) Still no video games. Chugging along. Like Cam has said, its not a magic fix, and you have to fill your life with useful and meaningful alternatives. Working on that part.
  6. 1/11/18 Day 33) Still no video games. Still working on task prioritization and transitions. It takes a while for these things to sink in with me. Trying to reign in the alcohol and sleep a bit. Been really outgoing. Started therapy.
  7. 1/3/18 Day 25) Getting better at task prioritization (basically, school stuff for tomorrow, and the near future before anything besides health) and transitions (speed between changes of settings and tasks). Long way to go there, but feeling more useful and productive.
  8. 1/29/17 Day 20) Status Quo. No games, but not very productive. Trying to make time for sleep and respawn, seeking friend and professional counseling. Things are ok, but want them to be good.
  9. 1/23/17 Day 14) Still able to find ways to procrastinate without youtube, games, porn, etc. Going to try to augment my to do list by ranking and organizing them and only allowing myself to do my daily tasks in the order i assign them. I tend to eat around the center task, instead of taking it out head on and then cleaning up the small, less important tasks. Swallow the frog, as they say.
  10. 1/18/18 Day 9) Games, still not playing them. Noticing still that my media consumption is focused around video games. I'll watch game comedy channels a lot. Its clearly a bigger part of my life than I used to think. I'm still pretty sure I want to eliminate that. At the very least to prove that I can, and I've never done that. School starting to ramp up, hopefully that helps me buckle down and kick some bad watching habits.
  11. 1/14/18 Day 5) friend wants to watch gaming related videos, and I realize that even my media consumption is geared towards video games. My deeper knowledge of history of an area is in video games. I need to relinquish this and start exploring new "areas" of interest and expertise. Quitting video games going ok so far. Trying to be productive now, successful to some degree. Working slowly through respawn.
  12. 1/11/18 Day 2) having mild urges to find a new game to play that "would be different" and that I would "be able to control" but I know thats not reasonable, and I only ever get any real fulfillment from playing with real friends, and usually in person. Not even online do I get the fulfillment I get from being in person with them, just watching them game. I have to conclude that I really want human contact, and the games have simply been an ineffective medium. I have a decent social life, but I have this ingrained pattern left over. Youtube urges strong, able to resist. Going to go to bed fairly early tonight, recovering from an illness.
  13. I could be embarrassed to be back yet a third time, but I'm not going to let that stop me from trying again. Here we go. This time I went ahead and purchased Respawn, I have already sold all gaming systems and this computer can barely run any reasonable game if it wanted to. I'm lumping in youtube with my gaming challenge, because unlike netflix or hulu it gives you constant variety and quick spikes at a high speed. Going to focus on consistency of this journal, and completing Respawn.
  14. I've been doing pretty well actually. I think what I'm leaning towards naturally is stepping away from the forum and internet answers searching in general for a while and focusing on what I know. I know quite a bit about what I need to do, I don't need any more help from the internet right now. I will definitely post updates from time to time, but I'm no longer going to feel bad that the posts aren't regular. Hopefully I can go out and find some insight to share with people starting their journey.
  15. Do any of you all struggle with the FOMO (fear of missing out)? I am so used to being connected that I'm torn in two. A huge part of me wants to be on facebook, text people for no reason, watch youtube videos, play games, watch all the sporting events, just so I wont miss anything that I could relate with to other people. Another part of me realizes that non of that matters, consuming content for the sake of content is pointless, and I should be proactive and choose what I want to include in my life, nothing more than what I need and a few things I want because I genuinely enjoy them. I've certainly been texting less, and calling more. I've been off facebook. Youtube use way down. Gaming solo hasnt happened in about 2 weeks. Its like a battle of logical freedom and the matrix of content. My brain feels like a tug-o-war chain.
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