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SanctiaV

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Hi everyone,

As the title states, I'm new here. I feel new to everything in life right now. I'm trying to stop gaming, of course. I've only ever played one game, but I have 6k+ hours into it after only 2.5 years. I balanced life and game time at first until a vaccine injury that left me unable to walk for 6 months. That's when things got really bad for me with gaming. I was going to delete my account today, but then thought maybe I should sell it instead. Unfortunately, I failed today- I caved in and played for a couple of hours and that's all it took to make me feel like the world is spinning out of control. Anyway, I am finally well enough to work again but my sleep is all messed up, etc. I guess I'm just feeling really lost & alone right now. 

I'm not sure what else to say. :$

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hey SanctiaV,

you are not alone!

your story is somehow reflecting mine with games. An event, - or a combinaison of events in my case- made us shift from a more or less balanced life to a Maelstorm.

Forgive yourself. Was very hard for me when I looked at myself, but it was probably the most important step for me.

Then get rid of these gaming things that took control over us. It seems that relapsing is a common step, but it works in the end.

And just trash your game/account. Selling it will just make you feel like a drug dealer not bothering destroying his customers' lives...

Welcome here! It's a nice place!

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Hey Sanctia, thanks for responding to my post earlier, and keep your head up :). Know that we've got your back, even if out there you don't have support. That's what's so great about the age we're in, you can make friendships anywhere. A little advice to you, since you gave me some, you might try writing down a set of realistic/positive affirmations on a sheet of paper, and pin it where you can see it easily.

Some of my favorites are: "what we achieve inwardly will change outer reality" and "it's the interpretations I make of an event, during the process of self-talk, that determines my feelings. Not all interpretations are correct so many debilitative emotions can be avoided" and "it is by small steps taken each day that we can arrive at the doorstep of transformation" and "my self worth is determined not by how others treat me, but by how I decide to treat others." Hope this gives you some inspiration.

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You're not alone at all SanctiaV. I just went through it. I didn't delete my WoW characters until I was already into detox because it was too emotional. I didn't delete my Battle.net account until even after that so it's a process. Just stick with it. Do what you can, be gentle with yourself as you move in a new direction. It takes practice.

Message me anytime you need to talk with someone. I just went through this process. I'm on Day 9.

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Hey SanctiaV,

Ya it's tough! I'm only 2 weeks in on a journey I started alone, with just the support of my family. I'm 40, married with 2 little boys. I realized I was fighting my family and justifying my gaming time in Destiny. It owned me. Its still trying to pull me back in. I haven't let it go totally. I'm getting chat room messages constantly from folks in my clan as they prep for a new dlc coming out in a couple weeks. I can't stand it. I had to leave those chat rooms cuz even hearing about it is causing me to second guess my decision to leave it all behind. Keep in mind what it does to you when you go back. Keep in mind the victory and freedom you feel the longer you stay away and stay strong. Set little goals and knock those out and gradually increase them while gradually cutting ties at the same time if need be.

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Hey SanctiaV,

Ya it's tough! I'm only 2 weeks in on a journey I started alone, with just the support of my family. I'm 40, married with 2 little boys. I realized I was fighting my family and justifying my gaming time in Destiny. It owned me. Its still trying to pull me back in. I haven't let it go totally. I'm getting chat room messages constantly from folks in my clan as they prep for a new dlc coming out in a couple weeks. I can't stand it. I had to leave those chat rooms cuz even hearing about it is causing me to second guess my decision to leave it all behind. Keep in mind what it does to you when you go back. Keep in mind the victory and freedom you feel the longer you stay away and stay strong. Set little goals and knock those out and gradually increase them while gradually cutting ties at the same time if need be.

EvergreenAxe467, this is going to be the hardest thing to do, but after the intense emotional pain there is a release... delete your Destiny characters. I did it with my WoW toons and it fucking sucks... but then it's a little more okay, and a little more, and then it's actually okay.

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Lol, caught me there! I uninstalled the game, but couldn't bring,myself at the time to delete the toons. After all the work I put in I was not willing to look at them and dismantle them. Ugh! I know you're right. At some point hopefully I can do that as final closure.

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Lol, caught me there! I uninstalled the game, but couldn't bring,myself at the time to delete the toons. After all the work I put in I was not willing to look at them and dismantle them. Ugh! I know you're right. At some point hopefully I can do that as final closure.

It really feels bad when you do it. Seriously. I felt stupid at how much it hurt, but it gets better and even feels good - like you accomplished something - after awhile. Good luck man. It's not easy but you're not alone. 

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hey SanctiaV,

you are not alone!

your story is somehow reflecting mine with games. An event, - or a combinaison of events in my case- made us shift from a more or less balanced life to a Maelstorm.

Forgive yourself. Was very hard for me when I looked at myself, but it was probably the most important step for me.

Then get rid of these gaming things that took control over us. It seems that relapsing is a common step, but it works in the end.

And just trash your game/account. Selling it will just make you feel like a drug dealer not bothering destroying his customers' lives...

Welcome here! It's a nice place

Thank you all so much for the replies, they are very much needed. I got really lonely & fell back in-game again, but my phone pinging with reply emails broke me back to reality. For that, I'm incredibly thankful. I uninstalled today, as I have a new job to start on Monday (I can't mess this up). It's so hard because I drifted away from my friends & family when I was gaming & of course got close to the other addicts I spent time with. I tried to say goodbye, but a "last hurrah" turned into a multi-day binge. I feel awful about it, completely weak. I tried to delete my main character but it brought me to tears, I just couldn't do it. Maybe after some time passes, after I'm living in the real world & no longer having cravings for the virtual world, maybe then I can delete. 

I hope it's okay that I mention this stuff- I really do want to quit. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I have lots of friends in-game who play 8-12 hours per day or more that haven't had their lives explode but part of me thinks it's coming for them too & I should warn them. Maybe I just need to put on my parachute & jump. 

 

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I told you. Deleting your characters sucks. Like really really sucks. Like you, I was embarrassed at by how much it hurt.

I did it after going back and forth a few times. I did it quickly, like a bandaid. Just went through the motions and ... They were gone. 

My first thought... I can probably call to get them back. 

The thing is, the thing you can't see...

Every time I cut a line, it hurt, it was hard, but then I felt a release. It's like the lines holding me back on the world were being cut and as painful as that was, they let me start moving forward again. 

Do yourself a favor. Cut the lines. Do it quickly, have a good cry, and feel yourself start to awaken again. 

In solidarity...

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