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sirjk
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It sometimes hurts to face reality. Especially if you aren't as great as the Image you have from yourself( I personally struggled a lot with this). It is important to accept the past and keep moving. Awareness is teh first step. Changing your Habits and mindset are the next. It can be as easy as considering how an activity of yours influences other people every time you choose to do smth. It doesn't has to influence your decisions jsut be aware how your actions influence the people you have relationsships with.

It seems like you are allready started this with your father. Keep doing things for others and you will realise that they often fulfil you way more then "selfish" actions. Connection with other People are really one of the main benefits you can have from not gaming. I am still working on that pont but I can tell you that it is worth the struggle.

Keep in mind that it isn't your identity to be selfish, just your actions in the past. This is important because it is hard to vhange your daily actions or habits but it is doable. Maybe it helps to talk about this feelings with your parents or friends. You will see that people who like you, don't judge but like you despite your flaws!

Edited by WorkInProgress
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It sometimes hurts to face reality. Especially if you aren't as great as the Image you have from yourself( I personally struggled a lot with this). It is important to accept the past and keep moving. Awareness is teh first step. Changing your Habits and mindset are the next. It can be as easy as considering how an activity of yours influences other people every time you choose to do smth. It doesn't has to influence your decisions jsut be aware how your actions influence the people you have relationsships with.

It seems like you are allready started this with your father. Keep doing things for others and you will realise that they often fulfil you way more then "selfish" actions. Connection with other People are really one of the main benefits you can have from not gaming. I am still working on that pont but I can tell you that it is worth the struggle.

Keep in mind that it isn't your identity to be selfish, just your actions in the past. This is important because it is hard to vhange your daily actions or habits but it is doable. Maybe it helps to talk about this feelings with your parents or friends. You will see that people who like you, don't judge but like you despite your flaws!

 

Thanks, man, after a few days of reflection, I think you're 100% correct! This week has been so shitty because of the Tuesday incident, I couldn't even be bothered writing about it at the time. Its time for me to move on and connect with people and not elude everything like I just did.  To be honest with you, I just wanted to drive into a fkn tree. Last night I drove around for a few hours and came home at 2am. I had a good think, and with this cruise ship I'm going on tomorrow with dad and the family, it will be a good time to give back!

 

Edited by sirjk
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Hello everyone :D and thanks for the replies!

Got back yesterday, the cruise was good for the first day and a half, but of course, shit went down. It was my dads' cruise for his birthday, but his girlfriend wouldn't allow us to party with him or do any group activities. What was the point of even taking us then? She hit my dad when she was drunk. The next day, she was all nice to me, acting she did nothing wrong. I exploded. And now shit has gone now. Have no idea how long I'm going to stay living where I am now. Everyone is on my side, she's talked shit to everyone in the group. Since we have been back, she's telling everyone who didn't go how much of a shit I am. But, she leaves the part out how she talked smack about my dead mother to me and everything else. But, I'm the Nazi. 

I need to think about the positives. I am one week away from a month without gaming. I am excited! I finally did something in my own control and it feels awesome! I am still having panic attacks in large places with people; need to work on that. I have worked on with my selfishness, sharing a pizza for an example. It felt good for doing things that I want to do and I want to keep it up. I might upload a few videos later tonight and post them here. Thank you for this forum Cam, you have helped a lot!

Edited by sirjk
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Thinking about if I should install Linux on my PC. I have always wanted to use Linux and wanted to learn a new operating system. Currently thinking about Arch Linux but I need to do my research before whiping all my drives. My brain is still trying to make me not do it because I still have a 1TB worth of Steam games on my compute. But my brain can suck a dick. I am doing this, this is a step towards my goals with IT. And before you even ask, I am too scared to even login into steam. That's why I haven't uninstalled the games since the typical way to uninstall games through Steam only. 

I mentioned in my other thread I want to learn C++ but I will do this. I can always use Wine and a Virtual machine. But my brain still says no XD. But seriously, I don't know why I am afraid of this change. I think I'm scared of regret. All those games for nothing somehow I'm telling myself. I thought this over, the only time after this 90-day detox I would play games, would be guitar hero or racing games with irl friends. I like playing them but only do it socially with IRLs. 

Anyways, it was good to see my brother again. I had a long talk with him, told him about what happened to my dad. We chilled for around 6 hours, it was really good to see him again.

Goals for tomorrow

need to get a few things from the shops, and go see John about his computer and maybe help brother if he isn't working

Edited by sirjk
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Hey I changed to Linux a few months and never regretted it. I did use LinuxMint because I didn't want to overcomplicate stuff at the beginning. Also I started learnign c++ lately and decided to write a blog on it where I summarize what I learn and share the resources I enjoyed reading. I am not sure how good it will turn out, but if your interested feel free to check the link in my signature ;)

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Hey I changed to Linux a few months and never regretted it. I did use LinuxMint because I didn't want to overcomplicate stuff at the beginning. Also I started learnign c++ lately and decided to write a blog on it where I summarize what I learn and share the resources I enjoyed reading. I am not sure how good it will turn out, but if your interested feel free to check the link in my signature ;)

We're like twins ;)  haha yeah I checked it out a few days ago. I'll be following :)

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A really interesting day, sometimes I wonder if there is a somewhat Being above, I'm not religious. But I still wonder. Okay, so I woke up at 7.30am, I have been trying to install Linux on my computer. I've been really rusty with installations and forgot I should always wipe the drive before hand and never try and format via installation. I spent last night trying to get it to work, and messed up where to download so it was going 5kB/s which took 12 hours to do, so I just left the computer on all night. In the morning and realised the errors and bull crap that usually comes with trying to install operating systems were there. Called a friend to help and after 3 and a half hours later, we finally got it to work.  After that, I went down to my brothers to help him at the house again. I was ready to mow the lawn and realised there was a bird laying on the ground. An injured Rainbow Lorikeet. It looked like it was hit by a car and had a broken leg. Three days beforehand, there was a dog that ran straight through our yard, we caught the dog and rung the owners. My brother and I were just stunned. Our mother use to believe in omens and superstitions, even if we don't believe in them - they just stick. But now a bird... My brother took it down to the VET and they said it was just a broken leg and it could be fixed and healed.  After that, we just continued our day. 

A few hours later, dad rung me. He mentioned pain on his right side and he had called an ambulance. At this point, I thought dad was having a stroke. I asked him if he could raise his arms up completely over his head and if he had a normal smile. He said he could do all of them. I raced to his house and found the ambulance had come. His pain had gone from a 9/10 to a 2 which at the time, hopefully, was a good thing. They took him to the doctors and later found out it was caused by a kidney stone. I think that was probably one of the better results out of a thousand things. I'm glad he is okay, I may have to spoil him tomorrow. I'm super grateful and glad he is okay.

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God, hoping I don't press back on my mouse again lmfao. Thank's for the gif :D

The last few days, I guess haven't been feeling the best. I feel "low" and I'm kinda just sick of peoples bullshit. I'm literally talking to nobody, haven't hung with friends and I skipped Trivia today. I thought things would get better, I chose to stop playing video games and felt great for the last 3 and a half weeks. My last few days consist of me reminiscing about video games and figuring out Linux Debian. I went as far to install an anti "seen" extension for Facebook so I don't have to reply to people. Yeah, I know -__- . I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling like crap, and it's just annoying that I just think constantly about shit. I can't figure out what is making me sad. Maybe I'm just disappointed in myself because I haven't attempted to find a job yet. The problem there, I'm just scared. Change or the fear of failing, I don't know; maybe even both. I need to work on this, Ive proved to myself that I can change. That can only mean Im scared of failure.

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Three months ago I was in the same situation as you are right now. What helped me, was writing down how I would like to my life look like. Than what can I do to make it happen.

Ex. I want to look better - working out, eating healthier, gain a few kilos

This way you set yourself a plan. If you stick to this, than you see results which you crave the most for. This brings you more confidence and makes you happy. Seems like a solution for you.

Greetings, Piotr.

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Three months ago I was in the same situation as you are right now. What helped me, was writing down how I would like to my life look like. Than what can I do to make it happen.

Ex. I want to look better - working out, eating healthier, gain a few kilos

This way you set yourself a plan. If you stick to this, than you see results which you crave the most for. This brings you more confidence and makes you happy. Seems like a solution for you.

Greetings, Piotr.

Hey man, thank you for the reply! That sounds like a great idea, I might give it a try. Glad I'm not a lone with this, I always felt like an outcast because gaming addiction isn't a thing to people who don't understand. And that's about 99.5% of people. "Snap out of it" "Go outside" "Just smash your computer, get over it" I've had people say to me. The forum has so many good people in it. I'm glad I found this community! Thanks Piotr for the suggestion!

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That's what we are for! We are here for ourselves, to support each other. It's good to have you here!

Other people are not aware what gaming addiction really is, because it's new. It's not even specified in health documentations. That's the reason why people say what you quoted. That's why we try to spread information about this.

Be strong!

 

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Seriously can't wait to move out. It was my dads birthday yesterday, and on his own birthday, his girlfriend cracks the shits on wine and somehow makes the day about her. I'm counting every single minute until I move out. This is bullshit. And to top it up, heard serious news about my mothers friends' health. My brother and I are going up there on Sunday to see how she is and see if she needs any help. I don't mind if I stay up there, it would be good for her and myself. Try and help her around the house and shopping etc. Fuck that injured bird from a week ago, like seriously.. a week fucking later, things goes down. 

I left my dads birthday drinks around 2 hours before it ended. I was still there for around 7 hours but it was getting late. It really feels things are going against me. On dads birthday drinks, the University students across the road from the Tavern where they have a LAN session of Call of Duty every Thursday; everyone is allowed to play if they're 18+. I've been telling my dad I didn't want to play, I haven't played for a month. He's drunk, I don't know what he was thinking. Maybe he thought I should enjoy a session with the people at my age on CoD. Like a zombie, I walked over to him and sat down at the monitor, I was changing the controllers sensitivity, and my dads and mines buddy turned off the monitor and told me what I was doing. I was in this zone again, nothing else mattered, the sense of control is non-existent. I cracked the shits and told him to fuck off. I made a scene and a few seconds later got awkward and left to sit back with the family and friends. I don't believe this. I apologised to David and thanked him for the support somewhat an hour later. I hate this feeling, I forgot how much video games controlled my life, even though I've played them since 2002 and played them excessively since around 2006, I don't think I can ever play these games ever again. 

Will power is the key - Nobody is perfect and that includes me. I will not drown myself by my mistakes! 

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