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Joba

New to the forum. Currently on Day 85!

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Hello fellow quitters!

My name is Joba and I have decided to change my life for the better by quitting video games. Language has never been my best, so forgive my grammar. I will share backstory then do a tl;dr version.

I was born with a lack of oxygen during childbirth, because of that I had suffered some mild trauma which the doctors said had caused me to have learning disabilities. My tongue was also attached to the bottom of my mouth and after surgery I didn't speak my first word until I was 3. This has set the pace for most events of life. One of the biggest things that actually helped me develop my mind and my hand-eye coordination was video games. Way back to MegaMan2, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (the best one!), Bomberman, all the good classics. I remember then moving from England over to Canada, having to sell off all of it at a market felt crushing knowing some other kids were getting my things. The first place I lived in Canada was Calgary AB. The new country, new school kids, new culture, everything... I became quiet but still outgoing enough to go outside. It was that time where biking, Slurpees, and Pokemon (Version Red!) were the only things that mattered. I did make friends this way, which definitely helped for a time being (i'm still friends with them today even through this challenge!).

Then, I discovered the most addicting games on the market: Warcraft3, Starcraft, and Diablo2, Dota, and Counter-strike. I didn't know at the time how devastating these games would be. I had used them to fit in during school, to have something fun to do plus having something to talk about. being that I never really played sports ( Never got interested in them as a child) But eventually, the constant gaming in my teenage years had made impact. I was 250 pounds, and constantly going for Slurpee runs, gaming, the sedentary lifestyle had taken its toll. My Esteem was quite low at this point, as the girls I was attracted to didn't want to be seen with me with how big I was. Fast forward a few years later to high school years, our family had moved cities and the same thing had happened; New people, new environment, new culture. My need to wanting to fit in acted up, I gravitated towards video gaming again because it was already easy to make friends. I wanted to fit in, but the technology and computers I always had, never really felt fair to me to game on properly. I always felt one step behind my other gaming friends. This encouraged me to just try harder in games. 

Many years later, I got rid of my consoles and I got into College. In the first semester I was doing so well, that I got a bit cocky and figured I knew all the material. When it came to the test, I had actually failed a class because I had spent so much time worrying and procrastinating playing video games on my laptop that it was quite devastating. The stress of all of post secondary school and mixing with specific people caused me to develop a dependency to marijuana and video games. Whenever things would get stressful, I would turn to that. During the last couple months before graduation I was terrified for a lot of things; The future, passing the classes, what jobs would be available, etc. I didn't feel prepared at all for the real world once I was out of college from wasting so much time gaming. After a few years of struggling with this, My habits had built up negative effects throughout my relationships and within a week everything had completely ripped apart. I was kicked out of the place I was living at from not bringing enough money due to wanting to game instead of look for a job, my girlfriend at the time wanted a "break" and for about a month I lived off 2 potatoes a day. I had reached rock bottom. Eventually I was forced to move back in with my parents house and enrolled into a trade.

At this point I really started taking a serious look at myself and trying to make sense of everything that had happened throughout school, college, post-secondary, everything. I thought I could win back my girlfriend (big mistake) and thought if I worked a trade that would secure a future for both of us. After a couple months of living out of town, I had my actual trade ticket and decided to move back home. When I moved back to Calgary, my friends at the time were still gaming heavily, and my girlfriend had been cheating on me while I was gone and wanted to breakup. About two years later of on/off again uncertainty, I was still spending my evenings playing video games and other distractions. I decided that It was time to move on and moved back in with my parents. I then spent 2015 on Ei on Hiatus to really figure out what it is I really want. I got help. And I found myself constantly disappointed with myself playing video games, and playing magic cards. It made me really question what i'm actually doing with my life. and How to really take action in the right direction. I wanted change but didn't know how.

After a long time of self-reflection and help, I had decided that March 13th 2016 would be the last time I play video games. Cam being one of the bigger inspirations, as most people don't understand the concept of "not gaming". One of the bigger inspirations that really kick-started this whole journey was reading a book Cam recommended called "The Power of Habit" and its helped me out so much. The concept in the book of the reward loop made so much sense to me to where I am right now. I'm currently on day 85, and although i'm not on the detox program directly but i've managed to gather enough information to really help get me this far. I found it was fascinating why I would be getting cravings to play video games, its madness!

Things are going great however there is this nagging feeling of boredom and not replacing gaming with other habits that do not have good return value. I do enjoy the other hobbies i've included. I produce music, make steampunk stuff, read, and go to the gym. But I still feel somewhat bored. I do have goals, I would like to play my own shows of entirely my own music (you know, like real bands do). I realized then that its time to join the forum and now I'm here! :)

TL;DR: Struggled with video game dependency most of life and fitting in social circles, some bad stuff happened, did a lot of self-reflection on how to create the life I want, and now I'm day 85 in and looking for other gamequitters for support. I write music, make steampunk props, read, bike/gym and have a fulltime job (longer than 6 months). At this point i'm not entirely sure what direction I want to go but the more "Organic" I go with my approach I know its going to work out better. 

Edited by Joba

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Welcome Joba and congrats on 85 days so far! That's a huge accomplishment! :)

Thank you Cam! and thank you for your inspiring videos! :D

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Hi Joba,

 

I am so impressed you could explain all of that ! I am so ashamed that only two people know I have been gaming: my best friend and my current girlfriend. No one else.

Anyway, congrats for your 86 days ! I completely failed my detox, trying again since 2 days, but I won't say more until I reach the end, makes no sense !

For Cam who read this: even if I don't write much, am still (or "again" is a more accurate word) watching your videos and reading.

Joba, concerning your passion vs mainstream work, I could share my experience (also in music) as I did it some years ago. Can not write more now as I need to sleep now (tomorrow is important day!) but will definitively do on Friday !

Congrats again ! Wish I were where you are on your detox! 

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Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

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Hi Joba,

 

I am so impressed you could explain all of that ! I am so ashamed that only two people know I have been gaming: my best friend and my current girlfriend. No one else.

Anyway, congrats for your 86 days ! I completely failed my detox, trying again since 2 days, but I won't say more until I reach the end, makes no sense !

For Cam who read this: even if I don't write much, am still (or "again" is a more accurate word) watching your videos and reading.

Joba, concerning your passion vs mainstream work, I could share my experience (also in music) as I did it some years ago. Can not write more now as I need to sleep now (tomorrow is important day!) but will definitively do on Friday !

Congrats again ! Wish I were where you are on your detox! 

Hey Fanzio!,

Thank you for reading my story and Thank you for your support! <3 - With any dependency eventually you just get to a point where enough is enough and its time to move on. Its hard to explain. Its like this fire in my bones that won't go out. No amount of distractions would ever satisfy it. So now i'm actively working at bringing that out into the outer world instead of my inner world :) 

Day 89 tomorrow!  

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Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

Hi Byrdmath, 

Thank you for your support! <3 - You can do this too, everyone can its a matter of choice and sticking with it. Things had become easier once I had the clarity... The bad habits had built up so much over the years, and after reading "The Power of Habit" it really made it apparent that Video gaming was one of the Keystone Habits I needed to break. I was more horrified that I even experienced cravings and its been very interesting to watch my mind untangle itself... even now I still had video game dreams but they have a different tone now. Before I would be getting swarmed (either by zerg units, out-matched/gunned in cs) - Now when I have video game dreams i'm completely kicking ass in them lol.

And of course! You can find my deep house / techno moniker here: 

http://www.facebook.com/claudewolfenstein

First Record label release under "Broken Monster Records in Calgary AB: https://www.beatport.com/release/puzzle-ep/1637856

And my psychedelic project can be found here:

http://www.soundcloud.com/justjoba

https://www.facebook.com/justjobamusic/ 

Much love!

 

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Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

Hi Byrdmath, 

Thank you for your support! <3 - You can do this too, everyone can its a matter of choice and sticking with it. Things had become easier once I had the clarity... The bad habits had built up so much over the years, and after reading "The Power of Habit" it really made it apparent that Video gaming was one of the Keystone Habits I needed to break. I was more horrified that I even experienced cravings and its been very interesting to watch my mind untangle itself... even now I still had video game dreams but they have a different tone now. Before I would be getting swarmed (either by zerg units, out-matched/gunned in cs) - Now when I have video game dreams i'm completely kicking ass in them lol.

And of course! You can find my deep house / techno moniker here: 

http://www.facebook.com/claudewolfenstein

First Record label release under "Broken Monster Records in Calgary AB: https://www.beatport.com/release/puzzle-ep/1637856

And my psychedelic project can be found here:

http://www.soundcloud.com/justjoba

https://www.facebook.com/justjobamusic/ 

Much love!

 

This is great.  Listening to all of it, now.   It's not predictable, you use a cool sound set.  This seems like it would be great to work to.  It's not run-of-the-mill either... definitely worth adding to my playlists.  

Here's mine:  http://soundcloud.com/seth-actionmath - Warning, it's inspired by old video game music among other things, though not as nostaligic as it could be since i use emulators, and wave generators, and game music isn't the only element that informs the sound.  There's a combination of fully instrumented and mixed songs with vocals (just 2 of those), and little all-synth compositions done in FLstudio.  
 

Edited by byrdmath

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Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

Hi Byrdmath, 

Thank you for your support! <3 - You can do this too, everyone can its a matter of choice and sticking with it. Things had become easier once I had the clarity... The bad habits had built up so much over the years, and after reading "The Power of Habit" it really made it apparent that Video gaming was one of the Keystone Habits I needed to break. I was more horrified that I even experienced cravings and its been very interesting to watch my mind untangle itself... even now I still had video game dreams but they have a different tone now. Before I would be getting swarmed (either by zerg units, out-matched/gunned in cs) - Now when I have video game dreams i'm completely kicking ass in them lol.

And of course! You can find my deep house / techno moniker here: 

http://www.facebook.com/claudewolfenstein

First Record label release under "Broken Monster Records in Calgary AB: https://www.beatport.com/release/puzzle-ep/1637856

And my psychedelic project can be found here:

http://www.soundcloud.com/justjoba

https://www.facebook.com/justjobamusic/ 

Much love!

 

This is great.  Listening to all of it, now.   It's not predictable, you use a cool sound set.  This seems like it would be great to work to.  It's not run-of-the-mill either... definitely worth adding to my playlists.  

Here's mine:  http://soundcloud.com/seth-actionmath - Warning, it's inspired by old video game music among other things, though not as nostaligic as it could be since i use emulators, and wave generators, and game music isn't the only element that informs the sound.  There's a combination of fully instrumented and mixed songs with vocals (just 2 of those), and little all-synth compositions done in FLstudio.  
 

Holy Crow! 85 days.  Surely you are one of the chosen ones!  But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days.  Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written.  Keep it up... you have links to your music? 

Hi Byrdmath, 

Thank you for your support! <3 - You can do this too, everyone can its a matter of choice and sticking with it. Things had become easier once I had the clarity... The bad habits had built up so much over the years, and after reading "The Power of Habit" it really made it apparent that Video gaming was one of the Keystone Habits I needed to break. I was more horrified that I even experienced cravings and its been very interesting to watch my mind untangle itself... even now I still had video game dreams but they have a different tone now. Before I would be getting swarmed (either by zerg units, out-matched/gunned in cs) - Now when I have video game dreams i'm completely kicking ass in them lol.

And of course! You can find my deep house / techno moniker here: 

http://www.facebook.com/claudewolfenstein

First Record label release under "Broken Monster Records in Calgary AB: https://www.beatport.com/release/puzzle-ep/1637856

And my psychedelic project can be found here:

http://www.soundcloud.com/justjoba

https://www.facebook.com/justjobamusic/ 

Much love!

 

This is great.  Listening to all of it, now.   It's not predictable, you use a cool sound set.  This seems like it would be great to work to.  It's not run-of-the-mill either... definitely worth adding to my playlists.  

Here's mine:  http://soundcloud.com/seth-actionmath - Warning, it's inspired by old video game music among other things, though not as nostaligic as it could be since i use emulators, and wave generators, and game music isn't the only element that informs the sound.  There's a combination of fully instrumented and mixed songs with vocals (just 2 of those), and little all-synth compositions done in FLstudio.  
 

Thank you so much! :D  -  Your music is excellent! FL studio is a great daw, its awesome to see how far its come since FL5 lol - A particular VST I found recently is a 303 emulator called "venom 303" . you can visit their site here: http://antonsavov.net/cms/projects/venom-vb-303.html

 

 

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Thanks for sharing. I will look into buying the book "The Power of Habit" that you are recommending

Warning: it may change your life :P 

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