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About Joba

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  1. in between my regular day jobs, work on my record label and I've never been happier <3
  2. A wise woman once told me, some people you meet are going to be here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Not everyone can stay with you the entire time in your lives journey. People change, sometimes for the better or for the worst. What you're doing is improving yourself by detoxing from video games. If your interest cannot follow you as a friendship outside of gaming then I would recommend reconsidering what you want out of your relationships. Our time is finite! use it wisely!
  3. Hi thehondasc00py, I just want to give everyone an update that I am thankful I have enough introspection and quit again, with Jan 22nd 2018 being my new "post relapse" quit date. I definitely went through all of those stages within this time you mentioned. It was quite a wake-up call of how miserable I was playing in the first place. I don't miss having intense cravings and obsessive thinking. I realize that I was also trying to rationalize playing by "putting it on trial" which now I realize was just a clever way for my mind to get me to play more. After two weeks the madness had to stop. I am so thankful I was able to nip this at the bud before it escalated into a destructive habit. The alarm bells went off when I was contemplating taking time off work, and neglecting my passion projects in order to play. It was interesting to observe how my mind would react and what patterns it developed, very quickly too I might add. I learned that even after so long that I wasn't missing out on anything. I definitely enjoy my mind being clear/focused, not dominated by obsessive thoughts of gaming and false sense of progression, followed by guilt and shame. I appreciate everyones' help and words, Thank you so much! I'm going to practice piano chords now
  4. Hi Cam, Thanks for the response! - Do you think keeping a "gaming" journal would help? I already have a solid morning routine that has been unwavering through all of the pressures' I've been going through recently. I believe what I have learned from the time not playing is how many positive things came from quitting gaming. Its helped me re-evaluate my life and my goals/purpose/cool stuff. I have felt the reward is significantly higher sense of satisfaction finishing projects than any game. Recently during this binge I've noticed how little I cared about winning/losing. Since that two day binge I've played significantly less in the evenings and I noticed almost like, alarm bells when I feel like I've hit my personal threshold. Which is is great because I don't feel as drawn to games as I thought, and I don't feel almost "scared" to touch one. I do have RL friends that live all across the country, and although we talk quite often it would be nice to be able to connect with them this way. They've stayed friends with me and supported my decision to quit games in the first place, which is awesome of them. Perhaps its a form of clever rationalization, but I've decided to try a month of gaming with just friends I know IRL. With two caveats. A: The game must be free B: Must play with them only. I have watched both videos on "Gaming with moderation" and I found them very insightful. I will definitely be keeping more mindfulness during this trial and seeing if gaming in moderation is viable for me, and if not then I will know that I will need to disconnect from them again. Thank you for your support!
  5. Hey GQ forums, Long term quitter here. I am glad to know that I have lasted this long and honestly had no idea this would happen. However due to a recent slip up, I now keep having obsessive thoughts about games and now i'm anxious of having a full blown relapse. Let me explain. The direct action that caused breaking my year and 10 month record going cold turkey was broken recently because of a really bad 2 day hangover. Fortunately the actual gaming only lasted two days, but it was 2 full days straight. it literally felt like old habits again when I was depressed, wouldn't even shower/get dressed and would play 12+ hours a day. I would wonder to my self "I'm bored of this now" but then keep playing, "You should do something else now" but then keep playing anyway. It was so horrible not being in control. I even played a game for sure would rehook me just to see if I was missing out. Which I realize i'm not missing out, but now I've noticed my patterns of thinking trying to justify playing with thoughts like: "Wow that seemed pretty harmless, and that was only 40 minutes. maybe you can just play this on the weekends" "This was fun, you're already watching TV every night anyway now, how much different is playing a game for a few hours a night?" "how about playing after you finish XYZ in your professional life" "how about only play when some of your friends play? its like a virtual board game". "I want to research more technology because its fun! You're building an empire!" Recently I felt that I haven't had many inspiring concepts or themes in my life that I enjoy other than Google Spreadsheets (they're amazing btw, especially fun if you color the backgrounds!... wow i'm old). Inspiration is also very important for creativity. My down time has been board-games, since play is good for inspiration too. Me and a few friends get together roughly once a month to play and I think they're great. They don't trigger video game cravings, they're social, you're hanging out with people face to face, and I found it was a great transition from playing video games with them. So recently a new board-game I've been obsessed about has really intrigued me to buy it. Its called Twilight Imperium and its a space empire game with politics, space battles, and economics. My interests are already seated with futuristic technology since I love robots, sci-fi and cyberpunk. I've wanted to buy it and play but the game is almost 200 freaken dollars for something I would play once. It doesn't feel like a wise choice. So I figured, after so many days not playing a single video game, the other challenges happening, projects on hold, indulging in the holidays, the literal daily grind, and feelings of "Am I really missing out?" I figured just for those two flippin' days while I drank water and recover I thought it would be okay to blob out into a video game fantasy similar to what the theme the board game presents, in hopes that it would just scratch that itch so I can move on. I didn't expect to have such intense withdrawal/addiction symptoms. I hope this is just a phase. But now I ask, Have the gates really opened? What have you experienced and have you gone through something similar? How did you deal with losing momentum and picking it back up? What other resources (other than here) did you do instead? I appreciate your time reading all that and look forward to hearing from you. Thanks Joba