Dark Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 I agree with Pochatok. Look you : 1) Have a job( a good one i hope and a high paing one as you sad( great chievement)) 2) You achived your goal of 75kg 3) You still continue to post| progress so i belive you are far more prodoctive than you think) You are doing great just by making goals and achiving them. And its only me, who read some of posts. I belive you are far more capable) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 13 Author Share Posted February 13 Day1: (yesterday) Did not play video games. Day2: (today) Did not play video games. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 13 Author Share Posted February 13 (edited) @Dark and @Pochatok, Thanks for replying, I think this time I will get through 90 days since I did achieve 75kg (73.5 kg now) and one of my old friend who I met after 3 months in the gym today told I was looking better even though I dont see much difference myself. I learnt lot of life lessons from dota 2 and I cant really forget it, I need to focus applying them in real life. Reach lvl30 10 slotted hard carry. Im going to stop crying about being short, even sniper/juggernaut/bristleback/nagasiren/slark are short heroes but still can solo win 1v9 Edited February 13 by sniper 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 14 Author Share Posted February 14 (edited) Day3: Did not play video games, also havent jerked off for 3 days. Mind is becoming normal again. I realize that playing so much video games in toxic communities has skewed my perception of the world, I treat everyone as hostile and now I think I might have pushed away people who tried to help me in past. Usual routine of gym and work. Edited February 14 by sniper 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 15 Author Share Posted February 15 Day4: Did not play video games, did jerk off yesterday and probably will tonight as well Need to make it to 70kg, hard stuck in 73.5-74.5 kg due to poor diet control. Managed to get 10k steps Improvements: * Doing strength training helps me keep atleast double digit T level which is great! * My day usually revolves around me planning to play and playing dota 2, but since that is not there, day feels more linear Goals: * Reach 65kg * Learn to drive car * Dont care about being perfect Story from sad past: There was this girl at work who pinged me for some help with a tool, we did a zoom call even though both were in office, for all my shortcoming I still have a convincing voice, she asked in the end of the call if I was in office and I said yes She came up to my desk and when she saw me she was immediately dissapointed i could tell probably because I look like the guy in my profile photo, my work photo is from 5.5 years old when I was in first year college at 60KG, she just said some generic stuff and left and I saw she went to a group of taller guys and started laughing. Stupid noob bitch. Rambling: Whenever I see people taller than me and looking straight ahead, I imagine they are mocking me for being short. My prefontal cortex knows better than this but rest of my brain is convinced I am a loser and should be a servant to taller people. Also I find it hard to sleep at night without jerking off, usually until 1am I am watching some cooking video (obviously I am a beta male so I watch cooking videos) I cut my beard and look like shit yet again Question: Whenever I try to something like read a book or learn something (do something productive), I imagine taller people looking at me with contempt for trying to be better and laughing at me and just lose interest, how to avoid that? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 15 Author Share Posted February 15 I realize the answer to my question is to have friends, maybe I should try to make friends. Im just lazy with huge ego that is the answer, oh I remember this video its hilarious (related to linus torvals creator of linux) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccWsHhHYJlMI realize you say stuff like this to friends but I am just saying it here, hope someone will read these, thanks 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 15 Author Share Posted February 15 Oh and please dont show the content approval warning it hurts me, Im just a nice hopeless person dont be so harsh website 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Hi. I am not shure that it will help but i ll try. Quote Whenever I try to something like read a book or learn something (do something productive), I imagine taller people looking at me with contempt for trying to be better and laughing at me and just lose interest, how to avoid that? I usually say to my self. How can they. I ll prove that they are wrong and do it. Just because its me and i WILL do this. Something like this. Also for me it helps to imagine how i can be better than them and overcome them. Now i dont know maybe i should find a friend or two because i realized i have semi-same problem as you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 16 Author Share Posted February 16 Day 5: Did not play video games Got treated like shit at work, but suprisingly it made me more angry instead of hurt because im too busy working on myself Managed to get 10k steps Weight was 73.3kg today I remembered a lesson I learnt in dota, do not react when you are in a position of weakness, wait for the right time and then comeback 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 Let's go bro) GJ) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pochatok Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 (edited) On 2/15/2024 at 11:42 AM, sniper said: beta male Quote for all my shortcoming I will continue to suggest that you stop self-deprecating. you're not being kind to yourself, and there is a lot of self-shaming. have you considered learning the practice of self-compassion/mindfullness? Edited February 17 by Pochatok 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 17 Author Share Posted February 17 (edited) @Pochatok thanks for replying. I am only stating the facts, there is nothing wrong in what I wrote. I wont lie to myself. Day 6: Did not play video games Managed to get 10k steps Reached 73kg Started watching "Descendants of the Sun" show about army and realized how glutton I am compared to a soldier, will change myself Goals: Make it to 65kg Learn how to study again Edited February 17 by sniper 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 18 Author Share Posted February 18 Day 7: Did not play video games Managed to get 10k steps 73kg Over ate today I realize "failure is an option quitting isnt" so ill just do what makes me scared and fail, easy to say but I mostly might fail to fail @Pochatok sorry for making a stupid response above ill try learning those concepts I dread tomorrow I realize im an isolated human who fell behind and doesnt understand what he is doing Lets see how much resistance I face from the hivemind tomorrow Will checkin in 24hrs if im still alive 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 18 Author Share Posted February 18 Cant believe it as i post the comnent the resistance has begun, the world fears what I could be so much 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 (edited) I gave up and played video games due to resistance, need to make it to 65kg to have a chance against it. God made me weak to be a sparring bot for the taller and smarter people, but I refuse it, Ill ruin gods plan. You might think I am stupid and @Pochatok can call me a self shaming loser; its okay laugh how much ever you want, remember there is an idiot named "sniper" in gamequitters forum and you are not as bad as him whenever you face any struggle Edited February 20 by sniper 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Bro u are losing weight faster r=than i am gaining) My goal right now is 83 kg( 66 now) but some how u are faster than me in losing weight! Good job? this is good way to go. Also i dont belive that Pochatok called u something like it, maybe you misanderstended each other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pochatok Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 On 2/17/2024 at 12:27 PM, sniper said: facts Nah, gotta say it's all perception. The qualities within yourself you call "beta" or "shortcomings" can be your brightest elements to others. Healthy Gamer (so many videos to choose from!) and Pop Culture Detective both have wonderful videos on that. @Dark I appreciate you advocating for me! I did use "self-shame", but not as a status/identity, rather a behavior. From what I notice on this forum about your, Sniper, messages, is a lack of self-compassion. That is not a critique against your identity- you're a uniquely beautiful/imperfect/weird person like everyone else ❤️ I do, however, want to treat yourself w/ more kindness, because I want you to be happy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 I guess maybe ( just maybe,)sniper is from country thet I live in, and that's is why we are a little bit a like. I had a friend, who spoke exactly like sniper and played dota. He was 165 fat at first. But we both started going to gym, and he became so good looking.. I am jealous in a good way. He managed to change city, work, and even find GF first. We didn't talk often, but sometimes I ask how its going ( once a year to be exact;)) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 22 Author Share Posted February 22 @Dark was he also short by any chance? Ive gone back to old ways eating lot, gaming and not working out 73.5 kg, I havent jerked off for a few days not because I am avoiding but because I dont feel like (gg). If I go back to 80kg from here I may never try again. And social anxiety is through the roof. I remember this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4F8kj0TYHs. Maybe if I was brought up like a spartan I woudnt be this hopeless. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pochatok Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 (edited) 8 hours ago, sniper said: @Dark was he also short by any chance? Ive gone back to old ways eating lot, gaming and not working out 73.5 kg, I havent jerked off for a few days not because I am avoiding but because I dont feel like (gg). If I go back to 80kg from here I may never try again. And social anxiety is through the roof. I remember this scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4F8kj0TYHs. Maybe if I was brought up like a spartan I woudnt be this hopeless. 300 Spartans is the pinnacle of macho-infused toxic masculinity. Imo, if you were indeed raised like that, you'd be emotionally empty and unable to truly care for yourself and others, so I'm glad that you are who you are, Sniper. You do care a lot for others, and want yourself to live happily- it shows a lot through your messages. I know plenty who did follow the spartan steps pretty closely- now dead or disabled from fighting in Ukraine, because to "die like a hero" became their life's meaning (like for those Spartans). So lucky to have my parents moved me away from Russia when I was younger. I think what you may be aspiring towards in that scene, however, is stoicism- what are your thoughts on that? Edited February 23 by Pochatok 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 @sniperyep, he was the shortest of our friends group. But mamma Mia, how fust due to his dedication he stopped being fat and started being strong. They was really inspiring 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 (edited) Ive had my dose of gaming today, played all day from morning. Ill attempt to fight resistance tomorrow once again. The human animal is supposed to be a pinnacle of survival after all, even If I fail I hope my unconsicous physical body will back me up. @Pochatok Thanks for replying, I want to be a macho-infused toxic man though, might not be possible this life but atleast I want to make god think I deserve to be next life @Dark That's great I think spartan way of life is what I truly want https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUzhJvlELU4 Edited February 24 by sniper 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted March 22 Author Share Posted March 22 I tried fighting resistance, ended up with even worse experiences which will haunt me forever. Ill just play video games and see how far I can go and read others journals here and imagine It is me. Im at 75kg back again and will go back to 80kg, ruining all the progress. Ill retry again next winter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pochatok Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 Hey! I don't want you to give up on yourself. I'm always here for you- I want you to live a happier life. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Warlord Posted March 25 Author Share Posted March 25 (edited) Hi thanks Pochatok Edited March 27 by Troll Warlord 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now