FDRx7 Posted October 22, 2023 Author Posted October 22, 2023 Day 46 - Saturday (yesterday) Summary: We had a wonderful day hosting the Murder Mystery night. There were 5 of us all together. My wife and I enjoy hosting. It's a lot of work but you feel great during and afterwards. We spent the afternoon cooking and preparing ingredients for drinks. I tried a new mulled cider recipe that included baked apples. It was quite good! We all had a lovely time together. I provided myself some flexibility on a few of the habits due to the nature of the day. Gratitude: For the fun time with friends and the ability for my wife and I host PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 60) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 11) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 69) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: No data Description: Giving myself some slack on this one because of the party. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Relationships: Hosted the Murder Mystery night. We made dinner and drinks. Mocktails: Made a few syrups in preparation for the night as well as a new mulled apple cider recipe. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: No data Description: Nothing to track today due to the party. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Bedtime was naturally later because of the party. My wife and I cleaned everything up so that it appeared there was no party at all. It took a while but was nice to wake up to. I completed part of my nighttime routine but didn't fall asleep right away. Plan: Continue to start getting ready for bed at 10pm (or 9:45). This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Due to the party, there was a lot of cooking, cleaning, etc. to do so giving 5 here because there was much effort involved, cleaning as we went. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-3 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 4 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. 5 stars is I cleaned two things AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. Eating Schedule: Adherence: Still working on score. Description: Not much to describe here. Lighter morning for food with the majority in the afternoon/evening because of the party. Plan: Will begin scoring once I establish an adequate scale for assessment. If I can remember to do it, I should try to write out what I plan to eat the next day so that it is predictable. Adjust meals as necessary (type, amount, timing, etc.). If you know you'll be out a while, prepare some things to take with you. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 2
FDRx7 Posted October 24, 2023 Author Posted October 24, 2023 Day 47 - Sunday (yesterday) Summary: Not a super day for habits. Didn't engage in the bad habits but was not consistent with the good ones. Not a ton to say about the day, especially since I'm filling this in kinda late. Just was out of sorts for some reason. I did get out of the house for a while, which was good for me and did a bunch of juicing. I'm starting to drink a little bit of beet, beet leaf, and spinach juice each day for a little health boost. Gratitude: For getting my task list weekly review finished PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 61) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 12) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 70) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ☆☆☆☆☆ Description: Did not journal. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Filling it out late... Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Went out during the day and managed my task list as well as had some general time out. After my wife went to work, I did a bunch of juicing (beets, carrots, spinach) and called my parents. I did listen to a story on audio on the couch, but then after I just kinda wasted the evening doing nothing productive and went to bed super late. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: No data Description: Nothing to track today. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★☆☆☆☆ Description: Went to bed way too late, didn't do my nightly routine. Did manage to sleep in my own bed though, which is why there is one star. Plan: Continue to start getting ready for bed at 10pm (or 9:45). This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Did some tidying but nothing major. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-3 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 4 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. 5 stars is I cleaned two things AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. Eating Schedule: Adherence: Still working on score. Description: Ate light meals today for breakfast and dinner. No lunch. Plan: Will begin scoring once I establish an adequate scale for assessment. If I can remember to do it, I should try to write out what I plan to eat the next day so that it is predictable. Adjust meals as necessary (type, amount, timing, etc.). If you know you'll be out a while, prepare some things to take with you. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise
FDRx7 Posted October 24, 2023 Author Posted October 24, 2023 Day 48 - Monday (yesterday) Summary: Better day today. Still not quite getting up to bed the last couple of nights (my wife and I both fell asleep on the couch together). However, I was able to be quite productive at work with my pomodoros, did a lot of cooking with my wife, and read my novel for a very long time. I have only 19 days left of no alcohol, which is incredible. It feels like just yesterday I started that. I forgot to mention how I was very proud during the Murder Mystery Night to be able to serve alcohol, low-alcohol, and non-alcoholic drinks. I felt like a much better host being able to provide fancy drinks at all levels so that everyone could continue to have a nice time and enjoy something complex without feeling the need to drink more alcohol. Huge hit and has really changed the way I view hosting. Now, I will always have something at each level available. Gratitude: For my productivity at work For the time spent with my wife cooking and reading PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 62) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 13) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 71) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Made a familiar mocktail with dinner. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Completed a shorter entry this morning instead of in the evening. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Walked the dog Cooking: My wife and I cooked New England clam chowder and buttermilk biscuits together for dinner. I also made a bunch of waffle batter to make breakfast a bit easier. Mocktails: Made one I've had before and had ingredients on hand, one for me and one for her. Reading: Read my novel by the fire. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 8 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: My wife and I both fell asleep on the couch together. Strangely, we both got a relatively good night's sleep. I think we were just exhausted, and with the fire and books, it was a recipe for nodding off. Plan: Continue to start getting ready for bed at 10pm (or 9:45). This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up, reorganized the fridge, and cleaned the dog's bowls. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-3 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 4 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. 5 stars is I cleaned two things AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. Eating Schedule: Adherence: Still working on score. Description: Most of the day's calories came from dinner. Plan: Will begin scoring once I establish an adequate scale for assessment. If I can remember to do it, I should try to write out what I plan to eat the next day so that it is predictable. Adjust meals as necessary (type, amount, timing, etc.). If you know you'll be out a while, prepare some things to take with you. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 2
eonplz Posted October 25, 2023 Posted October 25, 2023 Wow.. I'm thoroughly impressed with how you've adhered to your goals.. It's inpiring.. I can't imagine taking myself to this level, but I know that this is really because im holding on to my tech like its a special blanket.. But makes me see that its possible!!! Keep up the good work pal. 1
FDRx7 Posted October 26, 2023 Author Posted October 26, 2023 Thanks! I'm trying. I had a lot of false starts over the last few years, so I'm really determined this time.
FDRx7 Posted October 26, 2023 Author Posted October 26, 2023 (edited) Day 49 - Tuesday Summary: Starting to drift down towards the 3.5 mark where I was when I started this journey. I'll have more to say in the next entry. Gratitude: For a fairly productive day at work For the joy that reading is bringing me, and that I look forward to it now PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 63) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 14) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 72) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ☆☆☆☆☆ Description: Did not journal. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Filling it out very late this time. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Walked the dog Reading: read a novel. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★☆ Description: Completed 7 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★☆☆☆☆ Description: Fell asleep probably about on time, but on the couch again. My wife has been on nights the past few evenings, so I think that doesn't help me get up to bed like normal. Plan: Continue to start getting ready for bed at 10pm (or 9:45). This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Tidied up, but that's all... Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-3 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 4 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. 5 stars is I cleaned two things AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. Eating Schedule: Adherence: Still working on score. Description: Had a decent breakfast, a shake during the day, and a small dinner. Plan: Will begin scoring once I establish an adequate scale for assessment. If I can remember to do it, I should try to write out what I plan to eat the next day so that it is predictable. Adjust meals as necessary (type, amount, timing, etc.). If you know you'll be out a while, prepare some things to take with you. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise Edited October 26, 2023 by FDRx7 3
FDRx7 Posted October 26, 2023 Author Posted October 26, 2023 (edited) Day 50 - Wednesday (yesterday) Summary: Today is a little better; the average returned to 4 and the moving average is roughly 4.35. It could simply be a bad week, but I feel I'm slipping or losing some level of momentum. Looking at the scores and charts, the two really dragging down the numbers are bedtime and journaling. They are linked and, in fact, I believe the cornerstone habit is not bedtime. It's journaling. The reason is that when I sit down to journal, I shift from the activities of the evening to preparation for sleep. Without this transition, it makes it difficult to move from one to the other. Thus, I'm convinced I must prioritize journaling in order to adhere to my bedtime routine. Even if the timing is off, it's better that I be in bed and get a complete, restorative slumber rather than periodically waking on a piece of furniture made mostly for sitting. Regarding fatigue, most likely there are two possibilities: 1.) I'm simply tired, especially since I haven't been going to bed on time. This, combined with feeling like I'm missing certain habits, is creating a cycle of mild defeat. I even felt unmotivated to exercise this week and cited feeling "burned out", which isn't like me. 2.) Too many habits are changing at once with too strict of a guideline, making a good score difficult to achieve and decreasing momentum. After writing them, odds are that it is a mix of the two. I will feel more motivated to do - well, everything - if I've been rejuvenated by sufficient sleep. A cycle of defeat can be replaced by a cycle of success. Additionally, it's possible that my prescriptive guidelines for sleep and cleaning up are too rigid. I want to provide myself with the opportunity for behavior change, but also need to allow room to ramp up to gradual success. I will think about how to change these, but right now my mind is gravitating toward: change getting ready for bed from a specific time to a range and make the key to success getting up at the same time every day (as waking up at the right time is really the more important thing for resetting sleep); and, 5 stars for cleaning up will constitute tidying up and cleaning one thing, as the effort varies from day to day. I'll try implementing these today and will update tomorrow how I feel. Gratitude: For another good, productive day at work. For the chance to reset my trajectory and chart a new course for success PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 64) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 15) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 73) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ☆☆☆☆☆ Description: Did not complete. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Reading: read a novel. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 8 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★☆☆☆☆ Description: Fell asleep again on the couch. Wife was out working again. Plan: Continue to start getting ready for bed at 10pm (or 9:45). This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Tidied up, but did not clean any items on my list. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-3 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 4 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. 5 stars is I cleaned two things AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. Eating Schedule: Adherence: Still working on score. Description: Had a good breakfast again, another protein shake, some snacks in the afternoon, and a light dinner. Plan: Will begin scoring once I establish an adequate scale for assessment. If I can remember to do it, I should try to write out what I plan to eat the next day so that it is predictable. Adjust meals as necessary (type, amount, timing, etc.). If you know you'll be out a while, prepare some things to take with you. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise Edited October 26, 2023 by FDRx7
FDRx7 Posted October 27, 2023 Author Posted October 27, 2023 Day 51 - Thursday (yesterday) Summary: Okay, I've made the changes I discussed in yesterday's entry. I think they are already helping. Cleaning feels more manageable when my goal is only one thing per day. I still didn't do my journaling last night even after what I wrote, but not because I didn't intend to. I keep falling asleep on the couch while reading! It's not the same as falling asleep in the basement watching YouTube, some I'm grateful for that. However, I really do want to be in bed. Maybe I've just got to sit up more, and when I feel myself getting tired, stand up rather than give into it. Getting ready before sitting down to read was a good move though. I will continue to do that. Gratitude: For feeling more in control of my work and a peace about whatever happens with the job opportunity. For the nice weather we've been having, giving me the chance to walk my dog a little more before it gets too cold. PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 65) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 16) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 74) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ☆☆☆☆☆ Description: Did not complete. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Walked the dog Reading: read a novel. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 9 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Well, I fell asleep again reading... but I did try getting ready for bed before sitting down to read! I think it was a great move and something I'll continue to do. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up and polished many of the appliances in the kitchen. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. Eating Schedule: Adherence: No scoring Description: Had a decent breakfast and a good dinner with some light snacks in between. Plan: Will begin scoring once I establish an adequate scale for assessment. If I can remember to do it, I should try to write out what I plan to eat the next day so that it is predictable. Adjust meals as necessary (type, amount, timing, etc.). If you know you'll be out a while, prepare some things to take with you. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 1
FDRx7 Posted October 28, 2023 Author Posted October 28, 2023 (edited) Day 52 - Friday (yesterday) Summary: Fairly good day yesterday in terms of habits. It was a very hard day though because I found out a former teacher of mine most likely died in an accidental death... they are still looking to recover his body. It was really tough to process after hoping for many days he would be okay. I feel so much pain for him and his family. On one hand, I wondered if I had a right to grieve since I am not as close to him as his family, friends, or colleagues; it's possible that with all the people he taught, he might not have remembered my name. However, I remembered him and the impact he had on me. He will be sorely missed by me and many others, and I think he would be warmed to know how much he was loved by so many people. I guess that goes to show you that you don't always know the imprint you've made on someone's life. Gratitude: For my teacher and the impact he had on my life and many others For the community of people who showed an outpouring of love and support for the family PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 66) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 17) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 75) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed! Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Walked the dog Reading: read a novel (for a long time!) Relationships: Called my parents and tried calling my friend (he was busy at a wedding). Mocktails: Made 2 mocktails (both quite good). Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 10 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: I read very late, but despite being tired, I cleaned up the kitchen, did my journaling, completed part of my nightly routine, and went to sleep in my bed. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up and polished almost all of the remaining appliances in the kitchen (just the front of the stove to do). Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. Eating Schedule: Adherence: No scoring Description: Good breakfast, a protein shake during the day, and a larger dinner at night. Plan: Will begin scoring once I establish an adequate scale for assessment. If I can remember to do it, I should try to write out what I plan to eat the next day so that it is predictable. Adjust meals as necessary (type, amount, timing, etc.). If you know you'll be out a while, prepare some things to take with you. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise Edited October 28, 2023 by FDRx7 4
FDRx7 Posted October 29, 2023 Author Posted October 29, 2023 Day 53 - Saturday (yesterday) Summary: Nice day. My wife and I went out together and got brunch. We had a pleasant conversation. Then we went browsing a few places before returning home. My father drove my car out to me and then he, my mother, brother, my wife, and I went out for his birthday (a belated dinner). Everyone had a great time. I wished I could have shared some wine with my dad, but I have 14 days left of my 90-day abstinence. He understood and still enjoyed. My wife and I closed the evening by reading together by the fire. I'm removing my eating schedule from entries for now until I figure out what I really want to do with that. I've been enjoying the silence of no podcasts, although I sometimes feel the urge to "reach" for one when I'm lonely. However, I've been replacing that with listening to an audio story (dedicated listening, not background). I'm still getting used to that feeling. At times, I feel as though I have deprived myself of the few pleasures I had when I am really stressed or tired, but that's the old addiction talking. Despite my successes on this journey so far, I think my brain is still figuring out how to be still, how to sustain concentration on one thing. I don't want to turn back from it; I must recognize the voice of the Other within me that wishes to pull me back. Gratitude: For my father driving my car out to me For a wonderful day spent with my wife and my family PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube (Day 67) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening (Day 18) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking (Day 76) : Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★★☆ Description: Completed! I did the entry this morning, but it wasn't a rushed entry, so I'll give 4 stars to myself. However, this is best done at night as the keystone habit to getting ready for bed. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Reading: Read more M.R. James stories. Relationships: Did a little bit of shopping with my wife (more just looking around). Went out to dinner to celebrate my dad's birthday. Working on my cars: Finally got my one car out to the house! My dad drove it out to me. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: No data Description: Not applicable today. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Wife and I fell asleep together on the couch while reading (I keep telling myself I gotta sit up when I read haha...). Did eventually make it up to bed but didn't complete my nightly routine. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up and cleaned the counter behind the sink. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 4
BooksandTrees Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 2 hours ago, FDRx7 said: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. It's gonna come with time. My wife and I go upstairs at 930 and brush teeth and watch asmr til about 1030 and sleep til 630. Just keep experimenting. 1
FDRx7 Posted October 30, 2023 Author Posted October 30, 2023 10 hours ago, BooksandTrees said: t's gonna come with time. My wife and I go upstairs at 930 and brush teeth and watch asmr til about 1030 and sleep til 630. Just keep experimenting. Thank you... it's a bit frustrating sometimes because I think I've got it, it works for a little bit, and then it stops working. I'll keep experimenting and pushing forward.
FDRx7 Posted October 30, 2023 Author Posted October 30, 2023 Day 54 - Sunday (yesterday) Summary: I started my day going to a record show, which was a fun but overwhelming experience. I don't always know what I'm looking for so my browsing is a little more haphazard. Some people go with lists looking for specific items. I could try that, but I also think some of the things on that list would have a very low chance of being found, since my taste in music sometimes differs from those who set up booths at the shows. Day was pretty good overall. I just think I really need to be better about getting up to journal and then go to bed. I've been getting so absorbed in my reading that the time blows by, and I end up falling asleep. I keep letting it happen too often though, probably a refusal to give up on the day. Gratitude: For the nice day spent with my wife and all the little joys she brings to my life For an exciting first time at a record show PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 68: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 19: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 77: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ☆☆☆☆☆ Description: Did not complete. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Reading: Finished the novel I've been reading! Relationships: Had another outing with my wife. Spent a nice day together. Records: Went to my first record show and brought home a few albums. Fun experience to explore and grab unexpected finds. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: No data Description: Not applicable today. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Eventually made it up to bed but once again fell asleep on the couch. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★☆ Description: Tidied up and cleaned part of the counter. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 2
FDRx7 Posted November 1, 2023 Author Posted November 1, 2023 Day 55 - Monday Summary: Not a ton to update here. One of my lower-scoring days. That's alright, I can always improve. I at least had a really nice conversation with a friend of mine and got a fair amount of pomodoros done. Gratitude: For the conversation I had with my friend over the phone PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 69: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 20: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 78: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ☆☆☆☆☆ Description: Did not complete. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Filling it out late. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Reading: Listened to an audio story. Relationships: Called my friend and spoke for almost 2 hours. Mocktails: Made 2 new mocktails. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 9 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★☆☆☆☆ Description: Fell asleep listening to the audio story on the couch. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Tidied up and cleaned part of the counter. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 1
FDRx7 Posted November 1, 2023 Author Posted November 1, 2023 Day 56 - Tuesday (yesterday) Summary: Not a bad way to bounce back from the day before! Almost a perfect score. I was able to take my cousins Trick-or-Treating last night which was a lot of fun. I enjoy watching them run from house to house while I stroll and chat with my brother and uncle. The day was a bit hectic before that, so I didn't get as many pomodoros done as I normally do. The drive is about an hour and ten minutes. I listened to some vaporwave and mallsoft both ways. My car is a '95 Mitsubishi sports car, so it was definitely a vibe. Very relaxing drive. Gratitude: For the time spent with family and taking my cousins Trick-or-Treating For a relaxing drive in my car. PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 70: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 21: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 79: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed! Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Reading: Listened to an audio story. Relationships: Went to my younger cousins' place to take them Trick-or-Treating. Mocktails: Had some non-alcoholic beverages from my mom at the gathering. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Completed around 5 pomodoros as there was one I don't think I set the timer for. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Although I got home late, I completed my nightly routine and went to be in bed. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up and cleaned the kitchen sink. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 1
FDRx7 Posted November 2, 2023 Author Posted November 2, 2023 (edited) Day 57 - Wednesday (yesterday) Summary: Wife and I went to see Spirited Away for a special showing in theaters as part of the Studio Ghibli celebration. So glad I went. We had a wonderful time together. I found myself ready to cry quite a few times. I've always felt deeply, but it seems to me that as part of this journey, my empathy has further increased. It might be that I'm starting to refocus on what is truly important to me, and when I see my values reflected in the world, it affects me deeply in a positive way. Gratitude: For the fun night out with my wife - watching Spirited Away and grabbing a burger and milkshakes afterwards PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 71: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 22: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 80: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed! Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Reading: Read a bit of a short story. Relationships: Saw Spirited away with my wife. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 8 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★★★☆ Description: Went to bed and completed a partial nighttime routine. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Tidied up just a little bit. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise Edited November 3, 2023 by FDRx7 Corrected statement about pomodoros. 2
FDRx7 Posted November 3, 2023 Author Posted November 3, 2023 Day 58 - Thursday (yesterday) Summary: I had a very good day at work. I put forth significant effort and received verbal praise from the client twice on some things I did that were very helpful to her. That's when I really feel I've done my best work; I love hearing someone say, "Thanks, you really helped me today," or "This is incredibly helpful, nice work." I don't always care for every aspect of my job, but days where I feel fueled and motivated are ones like this, where I perceive I've truly made a difference for someone. Gratitude: For the difference I made at work today and the praise from the client PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 72: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 23: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 81: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed! Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Reading: Read for a long time. Relationships: Enjoyed a nice dinner my wife cooked. Mocktails: Made two mocktails and one for my wife. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 9 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★★★☆ Description: Went to bed and completed a full nighttime routine. Just went to bed a little too late. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up a lot and cleaned another large section of the counter by removing things like the microwave, etc. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 2
FDRx7 Posted November 4, 2023 Author Posted November 4, 2023 (edited) Day 59 - Friday (yesterday) Summary: Very busy day at work, but that's good. I recorded another small episode of a podcast that my friend and I have been doing, but it's really hard for me to be motivated about it. It isn't a passion of mine, and it reminds me of work too much. In my off time, I'm trying to do other things that bring me joy outside of work. Additionally, I stopped listening to podcasts, so the irony is thick. He isn't in the field I'm in, but he's trying to break in (I say field in general, not my specific line of work) and I think he believes this is his ticket in because he can point to it with potential employers. I think the value of that is overinflated. Yesterday, I told him relatively how I feel, that I can stay to help with mini-episodes, but it requires too much time for me to be doing my own large episodes. I probably should have been more direct, as my comments were a bit circuitous. Still, he didn't seem to take kindly to that, and told me that I can point to it to showcase my skills. I said that I don't need it to do that, because my resume speaks for itself after the years I've had in this work. Thus, this wouldn't be my motivation; it would only be to continue because I find it enjoyable. He then told me that there's something to be said for seeing it through. But we've been doing this for almost a year now and I am just not interested. "Seeing It Through" and "Sunk Cost Fallacy" are sometimes two sides of the same coin. I have so many things I want to do in my life, and this ranks low on the list. I only have so much time. He's still my friend and I want to preserve that relationship, so I was trying to reach a middle ground. Not sure what the future holds for it though. I feel as though the only reason we are doing it is for him, and that his appeals to me have been not for my own success but because he thinks it is his ticket in. It feels a little manipulative. Perhaps I'm overreading, but I also don't want to remain unguarded against being used. It's been on my mind for a long, long time. So, I'm glad I at least said something, but it looks as though he's not going to let me out so easily. Gratitude: For a very good week at work, I feel I was really able to contribute PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 73: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 24: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: I did play a game with a friend of mine for a few hours, but when I was ready to sign off, I just told him I was tired and was getting off. Went totally fine. I think that's the first time I've played in at least a month. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 82: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed! Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Walked the dog Recorded a small podcast episode with my friend Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Completed 10 pomodoros. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Went to bed but fairly late and didn't complete my nighttime routine. Plan: Begin getting ready for bed before you sit down to read. Be in bed by 11. This should include your time for journaling. Push back the time as needed. Can always do an internet block on your phone around 10pm with Freedom to keep from browsing. Weekends can have a bit more leeway. Begin to wean off of reading so that you get your body used to just getting in bed and going to sleep. May need to set a time limit on reading. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up and cleaned the bathroom sink. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise Edited November 4, 2023 by FDRx7 2
Ikar Posted November 4, 2023 Posted November 4, 2023 1 hour ago, FDRx7 said: Very busy day at work, but that's good. I recorded another small episode of a podcast that my friend and I have been doing, but it's really hard for me to be motivated about it. It isn't a passion of mine, and it reminds me of work too much. In my off time, I'm trying to do other things that bring me joy outside of work. Additionally, I stopped listening to podcasts, so the irony is thick. He isn't in the field I'm in, but he's trying to break in (I say field in general, not my specific line of work) and I think he believes this is his ticket in because he can point to it with potential employers. I think the value of that is overinflated. Yesterday, I told him relatively how I feel, that I can stay to help with mini-episodes, but it requires too much time for me to be doing my own large episodes. I probably should have been more direct, as my comments were a bit circuitous. Still, he didn't seem to take kindly to that, and told me that I can point to it to showcase my skills. I said that I don't need it to do that, because my resume speaks for itself after the years I've had in this work. Thus, this wouldn't be my motivation; it would only be to continue because I find it enjoyable. He then told me that there's something to be said for seeing it through. But we've been doing this for almost a year now and I am just not interested. "Seeing It Through" and "Sunk Cost Fallacy" are sometimes two sides of the same coin. I have so many things I want to do in my life, and this ranks low on the list. I only have so much time. He's still my friend and I want to preserve that relationship, so I was trying to reach a middle ground. Not sure what the future holds for it though. I feel as though the only reason we are doing it is for him, and that his appeals to me have been not for my own success but because he thinks it is his ticket in. It feels a little manipulative. Perhaps I'm overreading, but I also don't want to remain unguarded against being used. It's been on my mind for a long, long time. So, I'm glad I at least said something, but it looks as though he's not going to let me out so easily. I guess in times like these, it might be helpful to figure out how the relationship started and where it's at now, including the things you did and do. Say, if you've had three years of good hangouts and the podcast thing has been going for a year as well, there's surely something to come back to. If you see your friend for the last year only because of the podcast, it'll be more difficult to get it to some setting you'd prefer, because you share nothing else. I'd say that now you have some kind of "business partnership" going on (mixed with your friendship), since while he doesn't pay you, he's using your expertise in the podcast. I don't know how he can reasonably expect you to do a good/great job though, as it seems you're in this project against your will. - I have one recent story myself. My girlfriend and my best friend said they'd have English lessons with me. Their English isn't bad at all, though my best friend is leaving his work soon and having a brushed up English for the interviews might come in handy. The same was true for my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago, on top of that she is somewhat competitive. It was almost as if I had had foresight, because I plainly told them "OK, no problem. Work it out together. Just tell me when." For the next few weeks, I had to repeat it a few more times to her, because my best friend's communication with her was rather haphazard and awkward, which she often brought up when we were together. In the end, nothing came out of it. I treated them like any other professional would and I'm happy that I did. Everything is OK, I still hang out with them and I remembered this episode only because you have something similar at the moment 😄 1
FDRx7 Posted November 5, 2023 Author Posted November 5, 2023 (edited) Day 60 - Saturday (yesterday) Summary: EDIT: DAY 60! I'm 2/3 of the way there. Another decent day, although I woke up very late because I went to bed so late Friday evening. I came to a realization this morning about something which is probably very obvious, but nevertheless has escaped me for some time: I have been writing, both online and in my physical journal, in the same manner as I text - almost word-by-word. I had been feeling this frustration with texting for a while, sometimes writing stream of consciousness and then just sending. It's such a strange phenomenon. I'm not sure when it started, but suddenly this morning it came front and center to my attention. I tend to read over my Game Quitters entries more often but when writing in my physical journal, once it's down, it's down. This morning while writing, I stopped to think about each sentence before I put pen to paper. I found that my vocabulary returned with ease, and my thoughts were more coherent. Additionally, they fit better into the broader context of what I was trying to say. Like reading, I'm rediscovering that cogent writing is a skill that needs to be practiced. I'm going to try and be more mindful about how I write my text messages as well. My reading confidence has increased tremendously. After finishing my first novel (430ish pages), I am no longer intimidated by books that are four- or five-hundred pages long. These books used to fill me with a sense of defeat just by looking at them. This was the first large book I've finished in a long time. I needed that confidence boost to begin tackling larger books again. Now, a book that is 200 pages feels quite manageable. I think it helped that the text wasn't too demanding; the warm-up made it easier to jump back into reading, just like exercise. However, I think I'll need to be smart about how I approach books for a little while. Just like progressive overload in weightlifting, working a little outside your comfort zone is the best way to build muscle. Working way above it is a recipe for failure and pain. So, with books I will need to gradually step the difficulty until I'm back to where I was about 8 years ago, reading truly taxing works but with vigor, interest, and sustained concentration. Of course, I will never disband the pleasure of a light novel. It's more about expanding my ability to read difficult books. Bedtime is still a struggle. My wife's erratic schedule isn't helping (not her fault at all), but I believe the root of it is a legacy of my YouTube habits. I would stay up so late into the wee hours of the morning watching mindless garbage. While I'm thankful that my late nights are now spent reading, I really need to get a grip on my sleep. I have a desire to wake up early and make the most of my day, but I can't be doing that if I'm consistently going to bed at 1 or 2am. Once upon a time, I would wake up early and go to the gym at 5am. Now, the gym is in my home, but I don't have enough energy to work out until 4pm because of my sleep. I'm glad I have been working out, but switching to the morning would help with consistency since the morning is predictable, whereas the afternoon can bring unexpected obstacles. Maybe what I need to do is focus less on when I go to bed and more on when I wake up. That's what I've read about changing your sleep schedule. You may not always be able to control when you go to bed, but you can control when you wake up. Gratitude: For the increased confidence I'm experiencing with reading For the realization I had about my writing and the actionable steps I can take PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 74: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 25: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Played a game for a bit by myself. My first time in a long time. I play for a couple hours and then got off to go read. I think I went a half hour more than I was planning but was also searching for a good stopping point. Happy that I was able to simply stop, save, and log off. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 83: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Made myself a few mocktails. Really enjoying certain recipes. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ★★★★☆ Description: Completed, but this morning instead of last night. It was a solid entry though, so 4 stars. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Read my new novel that came in the mail. Cleaned out my personal email, which was once again long overdue. Started my weekly review for my task system. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: No data Description: Not applicable, though I did focus for a long time on my weekly review and sorting through my emails. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Not gonna let myself give too much leeway here. Although it was the weekend, I stayed up quite late reading and then fell asleep on the living room couch. I should have gotten up, but I made the conscious choice to stay on the couch, oddly enough. This habit is one I really need to improve on. I know my wife is on nights right now, which doesn't help, but I need to be self-sufficient in my adherence. Plan: Focus on the time you wake up. If your workout takes an hour, try to be up at 5:50am so that you have a few minutes to get ready. May need to start at 6:30 depending on how your body feels. Begin slow and walk back the time. Use Alarmy to get you up because that worked in the past. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Tidied up and cleaned the kitchen sink again; it gets dirty relatively fast. I thought perhaps I should consider cleaning something different, but right now it really doesn't matter. To me, it's more about seeing something is dirty and choosing to clean it, establishing that habit. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise Edited November 5, 2023 by FDRx7 2
FDRx7 Posted November 5, 2023 Author Posted November 5, 2023 22 hours ago, Ikar said: I guess in times like these, it might be helpful to figure out how the relationship started and where it's at now, including the things you did and do. Say, if you've had three years of good hangouts and the podcast thing has been going for a year as well, there's surely something to come back to. If you see your friend for the last year only because of the podcast, it'll be more difficult to get it to some setting you'd prefer, because you share nothing else. I'd say that now you have some kind of "business partnership" going on (mixed with your friendship), since while he doesn't pay you, he's using your expertise in the podcast. I don't know how he can reasonably expect you to do a good/great job though, as it seems you're in this project against your will. Thanks for your reply. I've known this guy for... wow, 17 years. He is indeed a good friend of mine, though we don't see each other in person very often anymore because he lives quite far from me. We have other things in common and he calls frequently to talk on the phone. I started this with him a year ago more to be a friend than anything else. Even back then, I wasn't super crazy about the idea, but I said yes anyway. I think I've done the best thing by slowly trying to step back from it. If I continue doing something because I feel obligated only to him, it will stress the relationship; I feel it has already done that, to some extent. It's very interesting because his stated (or sometimes implied) intention of the podcast was to show expertise, but I've only been in this field for about 3 years. He hasn't even entered it officially yet, only having done a co-op for a few months. What expertise are we demonstrating? I understand perhaps showcasing critical thinking, but I can do that in so many other ways that require less of my time (i.e., my work itself). At this point, it seems to be something meant to serve him even though I'm probably the one purportedly poised to benefit most from it due to my experience. 2
Ikar Posted November 6, 2023 Posted November 6, 2023 15 hours ago, FDRx7 said: My reading confidence has increased tremendously. After finishing my first novel (430ish pages), I am no longer intimidated by books that are four- or five-hundred pages long. These books used to fill me with a sense of defeat just by looking at them. This was the first large book I've finished in a long time. I needed that confidence boost to begin tackling larger books again. Now, a book that is 200 pages feels quite manageable. I think it helped that the text wasn't too demanding; the warm-up made it easier to jump back into reading, just like exercise. However, I think I'll need to be smart about how I approach books for a little while. Just like progressive overload in weightlifting, working a little outside your comfort zone is the best way to build muscle. Working way above it is a recipe for failure and pain. So, with books I will need to gradually step the difficulty until I'm back to where I was about 8 years ago, reading truly taxing works but with vigor, interest, and sustained concentration. Of course, I will never disband the pleasure of a light novel. It's more about expanding my ability to read difficult books. I keep a list of books I've read over the last three years and threw in the ones I read even before that. It was relatively easy, as I didn't read at all at high school. I can say that the main factor in finishing it is how entertaining it is. I basically don't mind the length at this point; I read the whole Gulag Archipelago (all three volumes) which amounts to around 2000 pages. I read it for over half a year and I couldn't care less 😄 I don't think I mind complexity either (hello Nietzsche), it's just that some books take longer to digest and ponder. If I read 15 pages in 60 minutes, so be it, I'm OK with that 😄 15 hours ago, FDRx7 said: Thanks for your reply. I've known this guy for... wow, 17 years. He is indeed a good friend of mine, though we don't see each other in person very often anymore because he lives quite far from me. We have other things in common and he calls frequently to talk on the phone. I started this with him a year ago more to be a friend than anything else. Even back then, I wasn't super crazy about the idea, but I said yes anyway. I think I've done the best thing by slowly trying to step back from it. If I continue doing something because I feel obligated only to him, it will stress the relationship; I feel it has already done that, to some extent. It's very interesting because his stated (or sometimes implied) intention of the podcast was to show expertise, but I've only been in this field for about 3 years. He hasn't even entered it officially yet, only having done a co-op for a few months. What expertise are we demonstrating? I understand perhaps showcasing critical thinking, but I can do that in so many other ways that require less of my time (i.e., my work itself). At this point, it seems to be something meant to serve him even though I'm probably the one purportedly poised to benefit most from it due to my experience. I guess there's a good chance to recover from this issue then! One thing I got from the freelance book (currently 350/730 😄 ) is that people indeed see these blogs as passion projects, but also as future marketing tools. Once they have enough demand for their service, the interest in the project dies off. The book I'm reading is only from 2017, but as I'm currently crunching through its extensive sources, I found many personal/business blogs that were discontinued. Coming back to your situation, if you think you don't benefit enough from the podcast to justify the time expenditure, then you won't benefit no matter what anyone else says, because you're not gonna spread the word etc. The effect is mainly psychological. 2
FDRx7 Posted November 6, 2023 Author Posted November 6, 2023 5 hours ago, Ikar said: I basically don't mind the length at this point; I read the whole Gulag Archipelago (all three volumes) which amounts to around 2000 pages. I read it for over half a year and I couldn't care less 😄 I don't think I mind complexity either (hello Nietzsche), it's just that some books take longer to digest and ponder. If I read 15 pages in 60 minutes, so be it, I'm OK with that 😄 Wow, that's some serious reading! I don't mind complexity either, but I know that I can read and absorb it faster if I build the muscle back up. And you're right, some books just take much longer to read and digest than others. I believe it was Francis Bacon who said, "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested." 5 hours ago, Ikar said: I guess there's a good chance to recover from this issue then! One thing I got from the freelance book (currently 350/730 😄 ) is that people indeed see these blogs as passion projects, but also as future marketing tools. Once they have enough demand for their service, the interest in the project dies off. The book I'm reading is only from 2017, but as I'm currently crunching through its extensive sources, I found many personal/business blogs that were discontinued. Coming back to your situation, if you think you don't benefit enough from the podcast to justify the time expenditure, then you won't benefit no matter what anyone else says, because you're not gonna spread the word etc. The effect is mainly psychological. I agree, I think I can certainly recover. It's funny what you mentioned in your second paragraph here... I have had a running theory about this podcast that as soon as he scores a job, the project will fizzle out. I don't believe the podcast has truly been about the both of us, so in my mind its best to slowly step back. I'm sure the relationship can survive such a small bump. If it can't, there was something bigger going on outside my awareness (but I don't anticipate that). 2
FDRx7 Posted November 7, 2023 Author Posted November 7, 2023 Day 61 - Sunday (yesterday) Summary: No big summary for this one. I did start food prepping the night before and it made a huge difference for me today, especially at lunch which is the meal I skip the most. I actually hit my calorie goals and felt like I had so much more energy. Hoping I can continue this pattern. I prepped again tonight, but only the things that must be prepared every day. I cooked the majority of my lunches already. Gratitude: For meal prep and all the hassle it saved me For all my progress to date. I often focus on what needs to be improved, but I've come a long way from where I was 60 days ago PROGRESS UPDATES: Note: Bold purple text indicates a new change to a plan. Habits to Kick: YouTube - Day 75: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: No changes needed but continue to fill the void, and with activities from hobbies list. Excessive Streaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not watch. Plan: Continue current behavior. Find new ways to spend time when you need passive entertainment. Add a tag to your task list to filter for those. No Podcast Listening - Day 26: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not listen. Plan: For the rest of the 90 days, I will not listen to any podcasts. I may even try to make this its own one-off 90-day journey, even after the main one is complete. If I need background, I can put on light jazz or Brain.FM while working. Be aware of the physical and emotional sensation and name it when you feel stressed. Excessive Gaming: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not game. Plan: Continue current behavior. Set a time limit if you do play by yourself (1-2 hours). If with friends, keep it only to a Friday or Saturday and do your best to log off at a reasonable hour. Excessive Drinking - Day 84: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Did not drink alcohol. Made myself a few mocktails. Plan: Continue current behavior. Habits to Start: I will add to this as I determine new habits and their action plans. Journal (physical journal): Adherence: ☆☆☆☆☆ Description: Did not complete. Plan: I will continue to journal before getting ready for bed. Set your timer to remind you. Game Quitters Journal: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Filling it out now. Plan: Continue filling out journal each day. Doesn't seem to matter if it's the same day or the next, as long as each day is entered. Healthy Ways to Fill the Void: Adherence: ★★★★★ Description: Continued reading my novel. Walked the dog. Did a bunch of food prep for the next day. Plan: Continue routine and choose activities. Reading is good, but also being comfortable doing nothing while listening to music (or just sitting) is fine too. Plan activities for when you have low energy. Pomodoros: Adherence: No data Description: Not applicable, though I did focus for a long time on my weekly review and sorting through my emails. Plan: I will start by setting a goal of 8. I adjusted the scoring to encompass a range of completion. A perfect score is 8 pomodoros or more. The stars correspond as follows (star: pomodoros complete): 1: 1-2; 2: 3-4; 3: 5-6; 4: 7; 5: 8+. Each pomodoro will be 25 minutes. Some days are more meeting-heavy than others, so I will count meetings as well where the intent is to focus only on the meeting and taking notes. No multi-tasking. Consistent Bedtime: Adherence: ★★☆☆☆ Description: Same as yesterday, pretty much... Plan: Focus on the time you wake up. If your workout takes an hour, try to be up at 5:50am so that you have a few minutes to get ready. May need to start at 6:30 depending on how your body feels. Begin slow and walk back the time. Use Alarmy to get you up because that worked in the past. Cleaning Up: Adherence: ★★★☆☆ Description: Tidied up only. Plan: 0 stars is nothing was done; 1-4 stars is I cleaned one thing OR tidied up, depending on effort. 5 stars is I cleaned one thing AND tidied up. The "thing" cleaned can be big or small, doesn't matter. List of Hobbies I can choose from: Listening to and/or caring for records Reading Writing (notes from reading, etc.) Working on my cars Socializing Foreign language study Cooking Walking the dog Mocktails Writing on my blog (need to restart) Investing in relationships Exercise 2
Ace92 Posted November 8, 2023 Posted November 8, 2023 Good to hear you're making great progress! Where are you getting those graphs from? They've piqued my interest. Best, Ace 1
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