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Creative Quitter's Journal


The_Creative_Quitter
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Actually it's rather cold and stricken by the worst COVID19 wave which we have been witnessing so far for a couple of weeks now. R has fallen under 1, so the end is in sight. The Christmas markets popping up everywhere just now can be really lovely though. Come here some when between May and June; imho the best time to be in Germany.

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The last couple of days have been killer at work.  My sleep schedule has been a highly varied rollercoaster - partly because of being so busy and partly because...  My brain and body no doubt are still adjusting and it's going to take time for this.  One day I think "Oh, I'm doing great, I got to bed early, woke up early feeling refreshed," exercised, did great... and the next night can't fall asleep despite doing everything (including my vitamins) right ...  Just heart racing, couldn't turn off my brain.   Major work projects keep piling on.   At least I haven't played any games.  Must keep it short.  All for today...

 

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Dec 3, 2021

Still going!  Work being so busy is a blessing I guess.  Sleep patterns are still a rollercoaster but that will take a long time to really adjust.  Nearly a month since I quit...  I can see how my brain is letting go of the games - other things becoming more interesting.  Little things, puzzles, reading, and so on.  So far, I'm happy I quit.  At some point I may be on here ranting and wishing I could play again.. but til then, enjoying the process.  All for today.  

 

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Dec 5, 2021

7 Things I'm grateful for:

-Discovered that allowing myself to do "3" or "7" pieces of a jigsaw puzzle is a nice way to "zone out" or clear my head between doing things through the day.  Nice little intermittent "reward" instead of games!
-Having resisted games for exactly one month now.
-Spaghetti & Mushrooms
-New Shelf paper
-Calm Sunday afternoons
-Wood floors
-My Creator and all He's given us (yeah, that should be #1) ...      All for today.  Have a productive and happy week, to any reading this.

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3 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Congrats on the one month mark, that's a huge achievement! Hope that you'll be able to keep this pace up for a couple more months hehe 🙂

Thank you! (to both you and Marius!). Ohhhh believe me I have come SO close to wanting to reinstall, just to go complete a couple of stupid achievements.  Maybe about 5 times I got close, thoughts creeping in going "just go do it real quick then uninstall" LOL.   Thankfully I've been fending those off and reminding myself how crazy that really is.  I never thought of myself as a compulsive person...   I hope I can keep it up too.  :7_sweat_smile:      Counting this as my journal. Busy day (Thank God lol).

Edited by The_Creative_Quitter
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20 hours ago, The_Creative_Quitter said:

The fact that our bodies often tell us what it really needs

Gotta love this one, yes haha 🙂 I feel very grateful for this too

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Dec 9, 2021

The detox must be working.  Learning to ride the ups and downs, but the last couple of days I've been on a peak as far as creativity.  Like my brain is accepting - "Oh, there's no more games, what can I do, how can I push this stuff in my artwork."  It's making a difference... I hope I continue to remember all this because if I get to where I want to play the mmos again I will have to kick my own backside.  I KNOW it's coming, the withdrawals and longing for nostalgia.  Girding myself.  Have a great night, to anyone reading this.  And keep going.

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Dec 12, 2021

Still going - prior commitments kept me from journaling the last couple of days.   I suspect these busy times are a blessing - it's the lulls where gaming thoughts 'creep in' that will be the challenge.  Maybe I'm in danger of becoming even more of a workaholic in order to avoid the gaming thoughts?  Can't worry about it.  

3 Things I'm grateful for:

-Clarity
-The abililty to problem solve
-Goals to achieve

Edited by The_Creative_Quitter
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20 hours ago, The_Creative_Quitter said:

Maybe I'm in danger of becoming even more of a workaholic in order to avoid the gaming thoughts?

Haha I went down that path, and it wasn't very fun in the long run- I think that I ended up working myself up into a corner where every single activity that was not "work" (as in, hard effort with not that much fun) became associated with "procrastination". I had to force myself to rest, to read books, to sleep in on weekends... 

Not saying that it cannot be beneficial- it was very much for the first few weeks; for me though, in the long run, it simply pushed things out of balance. 

Hope you'll be able to balance it better than me! Good luck 🙂

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5 hours ago, Pochatok said:

Haha I went down that path, and it wasn't very fun in the long run- I think that I ended up working myself up into a corner where every single activity that was not "work" (as in, hard effort with not that much fun) became associated with "procrastination". I had to force myself to rest, to read books, to sleep in on weekends... 

Not saying that it cannot be beneficial- it was very much for the first few weeks; for me though, in the long run, it simply pushed things out of balance. 

Hope you'll be able to balance it better than me! Good luck 🙂

Yes!  That's exactly it.  :7_sweat_smile:    Christmas is coming up here and we are so busy and I can't even let go of work.  I will have to force myself to 'be okay' with not working, and enjoy time off without worrying about work in the back of my mind (maybe that's another key to why games are so addictive?  They let me <sort of> "rest" without letting the work-anxiety gnaw at my thoughts - I would totally let go.  Funny how that works.

Going to schedule in time just to 'nap' .. 'read book' I think.  Thanks for mentioning that, just realizing it's a 'thing' helps!

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Dec 14, 2021

There's a storm here!  

7 Things I'm grateful for today:

-Good health, food and a roof
-The excitement of a storm
-Faith in my Creator (I might repeat this one once in a while)
-His forgiveness of me when I completely fail... :45_persevere:
-Citrus zest
-Baking
-Those of you who are persevering :691_balloon:
 

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Dec 15, 2021

3 Things I'm grateful for:

-Another busy day ahead
-How fresh everything feels after a cold winter rain
-The Realization that sometimes having Limits (such as in art, e.g. limiting use of colors) actually opens up a whole new world.

May you have a productive, happy day.

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On 12/15/2021 at 12:27 PM, The_Creative_Quitter said:

The Realization that sometimes having Limits (such as in art, e.g. limiting use of colors) actually opens up a whole new world.

Oh yes! I try to limit myself as much as possible in art sometimes too, it really forces you to think more creatively!

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1 hour ago, Pochatok said:

Oh yes! I try to limit myself as much as possible in art sometimes too, it really forces you to think more creatively!

Yeah!  It's challenging sometimes but once you kind of wrap your head around it... its powerful (limits).  I'm starting to see how that applies in many other things besides art....  which kind of clashes with the way our society is, there is such abundance and distractions EVERYwhere - in everything from ways we communicate, to games, to ...well all entertainment.   We have the opposite problem of a guy stranded on a desert island haha.  

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Dec 17, 2021

3 Things I'm Happy for today:

-Getting ready for Christmas
-Home-brewed Coffee with a friend
-Healthy things

By the way:  I had some sudden and more intense thoughts yesterday about "missing those in-game achievements" that only take place during winter.  It was weird, coming out of the blue like that.  We are susceptible as a people to things like advertising and these other 'treadmills' - I tried reminding myself of that.  I have an irrational urge to go complete some stupid little achievement - why???   Once it's done it's like vapor, pointless.  Is it worth getting sucked back into the game - especially with now, how I can visibly see my life changing around me in just over a month?  I feel GOOD about having quit.  Reminding myself:  The REAL achievement is if I can make it through Winter without succumbing to this irrational thought.  

Edited by The_Creative_Quitter
Have to add this...
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Just keep your barriers around games up and maybe write down somewhere why you don't want to play anymore. If you have urges you just have to look at that text and see how your brain is emotional and not rational. Emotions fade. Always remember that. Rationality prevails.

Edited by Marius
write instead of right
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38 minutes ago, Marius said:

Just keep your barriers around games up and maybe write down somewhere why you don't want to play anymore. If you have urges you just have to look at that text and see how your brain is emotional and not rational. Emotions fade. Always remember that. Rationality prevails.

Too true Marius!  Thank you for the encouragement!

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Dec 18, 2021

Still resisting the tempting thoughts that can creep in.  This is definitely a record for me!  In the past I would have started playing again.  Have to say, making a commitment to do this journal helps even more than I imagined.  Praying I stay in developing this NOT-gaming habit and keep spending the time on other things.  

3 Things I'm happy for:

-Peaceful moments
-Lemons
-Sleeping in on a Saturday

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On 11/27/2021 at 10:25 PM, The_Creative_Quitter said:

It's a huge achievement day to day, to resist something that has been DESIGNED by teams of people, studied and tested over many years... to deliberately attract and addict. 

^ absolutely! 

Also, nice to see the gratitude stuff. I do the same. I keep a daily journal where I write 5 things that went well each day (often, they are small, just like you said "coffee" - I'll often say "the delicious meal I had at lunch"). It is a small habit that helps me reflect how much good there is every day, outside gaming. Things that I often ignored or took for granted while gaming. 

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3 hours ago, razvan_ung said:

^ absolutely! 

Also, nice to see the gratitude stuff. I do the same. I keep a daily journal where I write 5 things that went well each day (often, they are small, just like you said "coffee" - I'll often say "the delicious meal I had at lunch"). It is a small habit that helps me reflect how much good there is every day, outside gaming. Things that I often ignored or took for granted while gaming. 

Thank you for that idea!  I was wondering how I could vary these journal entries up a little bit.  I know there are some ideas posted somewhere but I have to go find them again.  Yes!  I'm finding that these things I used to think of as mundane are often these little things in life that can be comforting and fulfilling - so much better embracing real life.  Have a great day!

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On 12/17/2021 at 12:05 PM, The_Creative_Quitter said:

Dec 17, 2021

3 Things I'm Happy for today:

-Getting ready for Christmas
-Home-brewed Coffee with a friend
-Healthy things

By the way:  I had some sudden and more intense thoughts yesterday about "missing those in-game achievements" that only take place during winter.  It was weird, coming out of the blue like that.  We are susceptible as a people to things like advertising and these other 'treadmills' - I tried reminding myself of that.  I have an irrational urge to go complete some stupid little achievement - why???   Once it's done it's like vapor, pointless.  Is it worth getting sucked back into the game - especially with now, how I can visibly see my life changing around me in just over a month?  I feel GOOD about having quit.  Reminding myself:  The REAL achievement is if I can make it through Winter without succumbing to this irrational thought.  

Second this issue, heh. My gaming urges are usually strongest around this time and early summer. Not over-relying on my own discipline and instead using a lot of blocking/restricting tools has helped me get through. Currently blocking Netflix as it seems to be replacing my urge to game. 

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